


Office Hours

by ellevetica



Category: TXT (Korea Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, Awkward Conversations, Bulimia, Cute Huening Kai, Depression, Doctor Kim Seokjin | Jin, Doctor/Patient, Eating Disorders, Enemas, Fluff and Angst, Kim Namjoon | RM is a Dork, Kim Seokjin Is Hopelessly Single, Kim Seokjin Is the Ultimate Sweetheart, Kim Seokjin | Jin is a Good Hyung, Kim Seokjin | Jin is a Sweetheart, Kim Seokjin | Jin-centric, M/M, Medical, Medical Examination, Medical Procedures, Needle Phobia, Needles, Online Dating, Park Jimin Is A Shy Mochi, Porn With Plot, Prostate Examinations, Slow Burn, Smut, Soft Choi Soobin, Soft Choi Yeonjun, Sweet Kim Seokjin | Jin, you should read this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2020-09-26 23:10:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 102,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20397685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellevetica/pseuds/ellevetica
Summary: This story brings you an aged up (32 y/o) Seokjin as a doctor portrayed in an A/U (alternate universe, mostly non canon-compliant) Seokjin is a particular doctor in that he works in a private office for idols from Big Hit and other agencies. Characters to be used are from BTS & TXT. I'm using TXT as a group but the BTS boys are simply "Bangtan" as Jin is not a member. TXT boys are aged up to eighteen because I felt more comfortable writing them at that age due to content in the story (see below for further warnings about this)The story shifts between his time in the office and outside, I don't want to give too much more than that away.This story may not be for everyone, as there are references to medical procedures / bordering on medical kink (I don't want to spoil the plot by revealing more than that at this time). However, actions portrayed between Doctor Seokjin and patients are 100% consensual. There are brief mentions of vaguely non-con content between members and a minor character however this is not detailed extensively.Please read at your own discretion to what I've said above, positive feedback is greatly appreciated. Please don't be hateful, I took a risk with this one.





	1. Prologue

Office Hours

Prologue 

Doctor Kim Seokjin felt as though he had a lot to celebrate as he looked around the table filled with his closest friends and family that had gathered for his birthday at his favourite restaurant. Months ago, he'd finally graduated from medical school after years of hard work and just days before his thirty second birthday, he received a job offer from Sun-Health Insurance, he had landed a position within a special assignment working with entertainment management groups and young trainees. Due to the nature of the business there was a level of confidentiality and privacy that had to be maintained when working with idols and it had been decided it would be best if health care was provided by a select team of individuals. Most of the groups performed with a lot of difficult choreography which took a toll on their bodies and required them to be in top physical condition, so it was important that only the most knowledgeable doctors would be on staff. It had been a difficult interview but Jin had tried his best to sound as confident as he could and the answers had been fresh on his mind after so many exams. None the less, it felt a little like he was dreaming when he received the call that he had been chosen. It was a two year contract and the perfect first piece of his resume and what he hoped would be a life long career in medicine. Jin was the first of his friends to receive a job in the field and he felt as though he were on top of the world as he touched glasses in a toast to the future.

Weeks later, on the morning of his first day, he felt anything but the confidence that he had felt on the night of his birthday celebration. Dressed in his brand new scrubs and carrying a thermos of coffee, Jin arrived with his legs trembling and a lump in his throat. It felt almost as if he were in a dream, floating through the motions of following the lead doctor – Doctor Wang, through the halls of the small medical office and checking out each room. There wasn't much to it, it was a plain and assuming building, but it was clean, tidy and almost comfortable feeling – for a medical office, Jin thought as he glanced around at the lounge chairs in the waiting room and the fridge of complimentary drinks. It was nothing at all like what he thought his first job would be, but he was completely fascinated as he followed Doctor Wang through each of the three examination rooms and the storage rooms as well. Jin felt a tickle of excitement when he learned that one of the rooms would be designated as his very own and that he could decorate it as he saw fit. He couldn't help but imagine the plaque that would sit on the door, adorned with his name. Doctor Kim Seokjin. Jin already knew that he wanted to go by Doctor Jin, but, the formal name would have to be on the plate, no matter what, and a part of him felt confident about how professional the name sounded on his tongue. He felt extremely grown up and extremely green, all at once. When the tour was complete, he felt as though he had a thousand questions, but the older doctor kept talking and Jin had no idea how he was going to remember everything. He had been hopeful that he would feel better as the day progressed but he only felt increasingly overwhelmed as he was told the long list of rules that pertained to practising on celebrities and trainees. For everything that made him nervous, he was also told that he'd been chosen for the position because young doctors seemed to connect better with younger patients in their experience and that there were plenty of other doctors that would be on call at the same time in case he needed any help or had any difficulties. Jin wanted to ask what the doctor meant by difficulties but his nerves got the better of him.

Throughout the course of the day, Jin learned that his duties could and would include physical exams for trainees in the pre-acceptance stage, routine examinations and other typical procedures such as vaccinations for trainees and performers alike as well as any basic on-call needs such as attending to illnesses and injuries. Anything major would of course be seen at a hospital but Doctor Wang explained that there were still a lot of things that could be treated there without the need for a visit to a larger hospital. Jin couldn't help but feel anxious that his past training and experience wouldn't be enough but the older doctor assured him that the way he felt was normal, that it was typical to feel overwhelmed but also that it was a supportive atmosphere with a staff of well trained professionals that were there to guide and mentor him. 

“We wouldn't have chosen you if we didn't feel you weren't the best fit for the job. You stood out, Doctor Kim Seokjin.”

Jin felt his cheeks blushing at the praise, hearing his titled name was still fresh and exciting, however, his childhood trait of becoming overwhelmed when he was complimented had stuck with him right into adulthood and on that day, what he felt to be one of the biggest of his life, he felt just as awkward as ever. 

“Th-thank you.” Jin gave a weak smile and sat up a little straighter in the chair that he'd been in for what felt like forever, his body stiff with the realization that they'd been talking for quite awhile. There really had been a lot to take in. “I hope I can live up to your expectations.” Jin added, feeling his tongue wash over his dry lips as he shifted in the chair again to try and feel more comfortable. 

“We are all confident that you will do wonderfully here, Seokjin.” Doctor Wang smiled at Jin and Jin smiled back, willing himself to keep his confidence and his composure for just long enough to get through the first day. Which thankfully, was just a half day, for training and initiation procedures and the real hours, the first real shift would commence on the following day. 

For the rest of the morning, Seokjin filled out paperwork, signing his name what felt like a million times on forms and releases. When he was through the mountain of paper work, it was filed away and he was given a stock list to fill his room from the supply room with. Scanning the sheet, he felt confident in the fact that there was nothing he hadn't used a hundred times during his residency at the city hospital in Seoul. The supply room was well organized and Jin found it easy to find everything he needed, though a little more time consuming than he'd expected. Jin didn't want to rush and instead he took his time, meticulously putting away each of the items in their own designated drawers, vials and jars. He had plenty of storage in large cabinets that sat above his white counter and steel sink. Jin couldn't wait to add some personal touches to the room, deciding that it was a little stark with it's white fixtures and mint green walls. It was small but un-daunting, the examination bed taking up the vast majority of the space with just one chair off to the side and another near the counter. Doctor Wang knocked and then came in, telling Jin that he'd finished filing away his completed paperwork and that he was officially registered and in the system, and also that he could head home whenever he was ready. Jin thanked him again, feeling comfortably acquainted with his own little office after putting everything away but still incredibly nervous about what the following day would bring when he had to be a real doctor between the four walls for the first time. 

Leaving the clinic and returning to his familiar car was a bit of a relief for Jin but it wasn't long before the anxiety was lapping at him like waves on a shore once again. He worried about someone asking him something he wouldn't know the answer to. He questioned if he could stay composed if someone was seriously injured and hoped that his past experience in an emergency room would be worse than anything he would see. Jin tried to assure himself by remembering that Doctor Wang had repeatedly said serious cases went to the hospital. Still, he was a ball of nerves as he floated through the grocery store and picked up ingredients to make dinner with.

Dinner that he only ate half of, despite cooking one of his favourite meals. Jin was beginning to feel as he may be in over his head and he decided to text one of his friends from medical school, Youngjae, who had been working for three months already in a walk-in clinic in the north end of the city. Jin washed his dishes while he waited for a reply from his friend, climbing into the shower afterwards and feeling his tight muscles uncoil beneath the hot spray of the shower. When he emerged, he noticed his phone was glowing from the bathroom counter and he almost tripped rushing over to read the message from his friend.

“Jin, you always doubt yourself for no reason.” Was the first message and Jin chewed on his lip, feeling his body growing warm as he read his close friends kind words of encourgament. “You doubted yourself before your first residency and then you did so well. Did you forget that you graduated at the top of our class? If I can do this, so can you. It's scary at first but gets easier day by day. Just take it one at a time and you can always talk to me. You've got this, hyung.” 

Despite being younger than him by two years, Jin's friend always had a way of making him feel better with his encouragement and belief in him. The two had met on the first day of classes and had connected immediately, becoming close like brothers and supporting each other through the ups and downs of many years of medical school. Many of their fellow students and friends had dropped out, but Youngjae and Jin had stuck it out together. Jin wished a little bit that Youngjae was working at the clinic with him, and then maybe he wouldn't feel so overwhelmed, he reasoned. But, he was always happy that his friend was doing well in his own career and role in the emergency department – handling things much more difficult, Jin could appreciate, than he likely would. Youngjae was brave. Jin hoped that he could muster just a fraction of that courage the next day.

Jin typed out a thoughtful response of gratitude to Youngjae and then made his way back to his bedroom, not bothering to get dressed and instead climbing into bed and relishing the feeling of his clean cotton sheets against his bare skin. As his head hit the pillow he closed his eyes, trying to focus on Youngjae's words of encouragement instead of his own worries and dreads about what may – or most likely, would not, happen. Fortunately, despite the storm of thoughts in his mind, the refuge of dreams found him rather easily and by the time his phone buzzed again in response, Jin was already fast asleep.


	2. Office Hours: Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dr. Jin's first patient is a very very shy Park Jimin.

Office Hours (Part Two)  
Kim Seokjin, Jung Hoseok, Park Jimin

Kim Seokjin rose before the sun that day, finding himself rolling over and wide awake at just shy of five in the morning. At first, he had tried in vain to get comfortable in his bed and fall back asleep for at least another hour, but, no matter how hard he tried, he simply couldn't relax. It was his first day of everything that he had been preparing for his entire life. When he was five years old, Jin received a play doctors kit as a gift and immediately set to work on his collection of stuffed rabbits and bears. From that day forward, he knew that all he wanted to be when he grew up was a doctor. It wasn't without a lot of hard work in school, because he had always been the type that needed to study twice as hard as the rest of the kids who got the same grades. Or so it had felt. Despite sometimes feeling discouraged, Seokjin had never been the type to give up, and though he had to write the entrance exam twice, he had made it into medical school. Throughout the long and never ending feeling semesters of school, Jin had survived on a diet of coffee and ramen. His tuition was extremely expensive and extremely wealthy, his family was not. Between scholarships and working part time at a coffee shop, Jin had managed to graduate with a lot less of a loan owing than he had expected and now, he felt fortunate to have secured a job so quickly so that he could begin to pay it off. He hadn't gotten into medicine because of the money, but, he looked forward to the day that he would live more comfortably than his family had when he was growing up. What he really wished for, was the day that he could buy his parents a new home to spend the rest of their lives in. For everything that they had done for him, it didn't feel like enough to Jin, but, it was something that he longed to do. 

Jin felt an electric buzzing of both excitement and anxiety as he ran the shower as hot as he typically liked it. His robe crumbled into a pool at his feet and he stepped into the spray of the water, closing his eyes and throwing his head back, allowing the shower to drench him and ease some of his worries. Over and over, Jin told himself that he was ready, hopeful that the more he said it, the more he would believe it. In the kitchen, he prepared a beautiful breakfast with an omelette, sliced bananas and strawberries as well as two pieces of toast. Jin sat down and proceeded to eat exactly four and a half bites before he sat back in his chair and sighed, the nausea that always accompanied his anxiety had completely overtaken his appetite. Still in his robe, Jin abandoned his breakfast, hopeful that he may feel up to eating a little bit more after he got dressed. His brand new doctors coat hung in the closet, perfectly pressed and adorned with a gold name tag on the breast. Jin ran his fingers over the fine engraving that cut deep into the tag. Dr. Kim Seokjin. Though he'd worn a coat a hundred and one times before, he felt strangely nervous about wearing this one and decided he'd carry it into work and change into it in the office, opting to look slightly more relaxed in his pressed navy blue dress pants and crisp white dress shirt. Jin stood in front of his tie rack for several long moments, running his fingers over the different fabrics and considering if one would be right. Finally, he chose a simple dark blue silk that matched his pants and adjusted it around his neck. As he looked at himself in the mirror, he couldn't help but feel slightly more confident about how professional he looked and then set to work on his hair. By the time he was finished, it was just about time to go with the intention to get coffee on the way in, of course.

Because he had a little extra time, Jin decided to drive across the city to the coffee shop that he had worked at when he was in school. It had been several years, but, he still felt a twinge in his chest as he took the familiar route and pulled into the same spot he had always parked in. The inside of the cafe looked exactly as he remembered it, right down to the order of bottled drinks in the fridge. What was different was the staff, it had been so long that he didn't recognize a single face, but, in a way that was OK as well because sometimes small-talk made him feel awkward. Jin ordered an americano and carried it out, feeling the nerves coiling tighter in his chest as he realized there was less time between then and when he would begin his shift. With quivering hands, Jin turned the key in the ignition and began the short drive to the office that he would, over time, grow to know as his second home. 

When he arrived at the office, he felt so nauseous that he questioned his ability to even make it inside without throwing up. What a perfect start to the day that would be, Jin thought to himself, frustrated that he seemingly couldn't keep himself composed enough to make it through the door. Somehow, he managed, and when he reached the lobby, the friendly faced receptionist introduced herself as Katy. She was small and spoke with a sweet voice which gave Jin the impression that she would make anyone feel comfortable when they stepped inside the office. Katy told him that Doctor Wang would be in shortly to brief him on his first day and that he could find his way to his office and start making himself welcome.   
“So, are you ready?” Katy smiled, her warm brown eyes holding Jin's stare. “For your first day?”

“I feel pretty nervous if I am being honest with you.”He admitted, feeling both his cheeks and the tips of his ears blushing red.

“That's normal.” Katy nodded. “You know, I have seen a couple doctors come and go here. And each and every one was nervous on their first day.” She spoke with an empathetic tone. “You'll do great.” She smiled in a warm way and Jin felt himself blush a little deeper. He hoped she was right. 

“Thanks.”Jin smiled back at her and then clutched his leather doctors bag a little tighter between his fingers. “I guess i should go get settled in

“Just let me know if there is anything I can do to help.” 

Jin gave the receptionist one last smile and then turned towards the hall way that lead towards his office. He passed one door, a second door and the third was the one with his name on it. Jin felt himself smiling as he took in the sign, wondering if he would ever grow tired of how satisfying it was to see his name adorned in that way. Inside of the office, he was struck with the sterile smell that he admittedly hated about doctors offices. The room was bright and clean but Jin was looking forward to making it a little bit more welcoming. After setting his leather medical bag down on the small counter near the sink, Jin reached for his other bag where he'd packed a few things. Out of the bag first came a small Eevee Pokemon figurine. It had been a gift from his friend Youngjae and both of them shared a love for Pokemon. Only once it was on the counter did Jin question if it was a little bit too childish for such a professional place, but when he thought about hiding it back in his bag, he felt a little guilty, so Eevee stayed, tucked between a jar of cotton balls and a box of latex gloves. Next was a small black picture frame which held a photograph of Jin''s cat, Oliver, who had long marmalade and white coloured fur. Last, Jin produced a glass bowl and a bag of individually wrapped miniature chocolate bars. No one was too old to enjoy a sweet, Jin thought to himself as he filled the bowl with the colourfully wrapped chocolates. Just as he was throwing out the bag, there was a knock at the door and then Doctor Wang stepped inside.

Jin felt as though he were holding his breath the entire time the older doctor spoke. Dr. Wang explained the many rules and technicalities of the clinic and working with celebrities and trainees. He also explained to find a few of the most common things he would need, vaccines and common medicines that could be provided at the clinic without a prescription. And he explained that he would write many prescriptions and to use caution when doing so, because some patients in the past had had difficulties. Jin felt overwhelmed. He was trying his best to listen but it seemed like nothing was being absorbed, it was a blur. He started to wonder how he had gotten so over his head. 

“Dr. Kim, are you okay?” Dr. Wang asked, reaching out and the brush of his fingers against Jin''s arm made him jump, suddenly hyper aware and heart pounding faster than ever.

“Y-yes.” Jin nodded. “Just a little nervous.”

“Ahh. Don't be, Dr. Seokjin.” Dr. Wang smiled and adjusted his thin framed glasses. “Everyone here is happy to have you as part of the team and we are all here to help you if there is anything at all you need.”

Jin felt his breathing slow just a little bit, his shoulders relaxing and he gave the older man a shy smile, feeling the same jitters he had on his first day of medical school. He was excited and terrified all at the same time, knowing that it was the first day of the rest of his life and that the only way to conquer it was to take it head on. 

“So, Dr. Kim, are you ready to hear about your patients for the day?”

“Yes, please, sir.” Jin responded with a polite nod, feeling entirely unready if he were being honest. But, he tried to focus on the head-on tactic again, knowing that all of the time spent studying and in residency hadn't been for him to just give up before he could even begin. In theory, there shouldn't be anything thrown at him that he hadn't done before at some point. He clung to the tiny thread of confidence in his gut and breathed deeply, willing himself to just take it one minute at a time.

“So, first up is Park Jimin.” Doctor Wang reached into a folder and Jin watched as his eyes scanned some pages through his glasses, noticing the way his mouth set in a thin line, his brows worried themselves towards each other. “He's.... a nervous patient.” Doctor Wang looked towards Jin with a concerned expression. “Just let any one of us know if you need assistance... Doctor Choi knows him pretty well especially.” 

Jin chewed on his lip, wondering why Doctor Choi wasn't seeing Jimin if he was used to him. Having mostly worked in emergency, most of his patients had been in desperate need of attention and being nervous was more secondary to the overall shock of their accident. Admittedly, he hadn't had a lot of experience with especially afraid patients and he was unsure of how he would react if Jimin was really upset or scared. Once again, he felt a little as though he were drowning, as if maybe he were over his head. And wait, what was Jimin even seeing him for? As if on cue, Doctor Wang continued.

“Jimin is due for some vaccines before his group goes overseas.” The older man explained. “Just two, you''ll be able to find them in the blue cabinet in the supply room. Just ask Katy if you need any help finding them.” 

The older doctor rambled on a little bit more about the supply room and Jin wondered if he had any other patients booked for the day besides Jimin.

“Um, was Jimin the only patient?”

Doctor Wang looked down at his notes and then back up, nodding his head. “We've allocated two appointment spots for Jimin, because sometimes he takes a little longer. We do sometimes receive a last minute call or a walk in, but as of right now, that is your only patient for today,”

In a way, Jin felt relieved. Just one patient and a double time slot meant that there would be no rush. Since jImin would be nervous, he wanted to try and make him feel as comfortable as he could, deciding that the only way he really knew how would be to talk to him. If he could ask him about what made him so afraid, perhaps he could find a way to make him feel better. Jin had treated a lot of children in the emergency department, and out of anyone, they had been the ones that had been most afraid. However, because of their size and the assistance of their parents, they were also pretty easy to control. There was no way he could just hold Jimin down or ask his mom to hold his hand. But, Jin hoped that he could talk to him in a way that they could connect and Jin could help him feel a little less afraid. No one really liked getting shots, but, Jin wanted to make it as easy as possible for his patients. No matter what the procedure. He had always tried to use a gentle hand and a soft tone with his voice. Jin had always found that talking to the patients about what he was doing and making sure they felt safe before he continued went a long way. Taking the time to spend the few extra minutes always made for a better experience and Jin hoped that his appointment with Jimin would be no different than any of his past patients.

After Doctor Wang left, Jin was alone in his office again. He had about half an hour before Jimin's appointment was scheduled and he could tell that the time was going to take it's time, crawling by. Deciding to be prepared well ahead of time, Jin went to the supply room and found that it took hardly any time at all to find the two vaccines that he was looking for. With a small steel tray, he carried back to his room the two vials of vaccine, one for measles and one for hepatitis as well as two small syringes. He'd chosen the very smallest needles so that he could assure Jimin that the pain would be as absolutely minimal as possible.

Finally, at ten sharp, Jin rose from the chair in his office and headed for the hallway with a sizeable lump in his throat. His heart was pounding so loud that it would be a miracle if Jimin didn't hear it. Jin only released the breath he was holding when he made it to the waiting room – and found it empty. Looking over to Katy, the receptionist offered a shrug and a blank expression. Perhaps he was just running a little bit late. Jin slipped his hands into his pockets and sauntered across the waiting room to the magazine rack. He scanned the selection with his eyes and then checked his watch. It had been exactly two minutes and there was still no sign of Jimin. Jin paced the waiting room for what felt like an eternity but was really only another few minutes before the door swung open and two young men walked in. It was easy to tell which of the two was Jimin, with his soft cheeks stained pink with blush and his eyes so scared. His hands clung tightly to the arm of the slightly taller boy who cast Katy and then Jin both a sympathetic smile. He was clearly there for support, a gesture that Jin thought was sweet – although a little bit intimidating. Not only one set of eyes to watch and judge him, but two, assuming that Jimin's friend followed him into the examination room. And perhaps, it might not be the worst idea either, Jin allowed himself to consider when he compared it to parents comforting their children. After a brief pause, the friend spoke with a confidence that he seemed to be trying to bestow upon his friend.

“I'm sorry we're late. I'm Hoseok and this is Jimin.”

Jimin remained silent, eyes glued to the floor. Jin wondered if he could see the boys shoulders quivering a little and he felt his stomach turn over. He was truly terrified and Jin felt guilty, nervous. 

Jin took a deep breath, he felt hesitant about speaking, wanting his voice to sound professional yet friendly, not wanting to scare Jimin – though it may have been impossible to avoid as he was already seemingly terrified, barely ten feet into the waiting room and a long way from the examination room. Jin felt the pressure building up again, the nerves coiling within himself and the anxiety nipping at his resolve. He exhaled and then finally spoke; 

“I'm Doctor Kim Seokjin.” 

Several long seeming moments of silence and then it was Jimin's friend that cleared his throat and spoke, filling the room and breaking the tension that was building by the second. 

“Sorry, he's just really nervous.” Hoseok said quietly, reaching over and placing his hand gently on his friends arm, the gesture causing the younger boy to jump a little bit and stare down at the floor. He was obviously embarrassed and Jin wished that there was something he could do. It wasn't common that he saw patients this age acting this scared – or, at least, it wasn't common for him. Again were the creeping feelings that he was over his head and entirely unprepared, but Jin also knew that he didn't have a choice except to be brave. With his stomach churning, Jin looked between the two boys, feeling as though his brain was racing with a million thoughts and yet no viable plan of how he was going to calm Jimin down. If the poor boy couldn't even say hello, how was Jin going to examine him and give him two shots? It was impossible to imagine that the shots were going to be anything but difficult. 

“D-do you want to come back to the exam room? We can just take things really slow.” Jin finally said, feeling himself holding a breath as he waited for one of the two boys to speak in response.

Hoseok looked to Jimin, his eyes moving all over his friends face but landing on his eyes. Jin felt a stir of emotions as he observed the connection between the two. It was obvious that the older boy, Hoseok, cared a lot for Jimin, who seemed so ... small, despite the fact he was only a couple years younger than the other. After another long and somewhat awkward moment, Jimin leaned over and whispered something in Hoseok's ear.

“Is it okay if I come in, too?” Hoseok asked, looking to Jin and worrying his lower lip between his teeth.

“Of course.” Jin said quickly and offered a friendly smile; honestly, it would probably make his life a lot easier having Hoseok there, but Jin decided to reserve the explanation. “You're more than welcome to come back with us.” He said instead.

Hoseok smiled and gave Jimin's shoulder an affectionate squeeze. “See, told you it would be fine.” He said quietly. “Our last doctor didn't like anyone else coming in.” Hoseok explained and Jin wondered if he was breaking one of the clinic rules, trying his best to remember each of the lines that had been on the long list of rules and regulations. He couldn't remember anything about additional guests in the examination room and in his past experience, it had only really ever been helpful – at least when it came to nervous patients.

“Well, I definitely don't mind.” Jin explained, feeling some relief that both Jimin and Hoseok were following him down the hallway now, each step closer to the office seemed as though it eased Jin's anxieties more and more. “Anything I can do to make this easier for you, Jimin, I want to do... so...” Jin felt his confidence stumbling with his words and he paused. “Just let me know how you are feeling and if we need to stop, okay?” 

“Okay.” Jimin said so quietly that Jin nearly missed it, but he most definitely did not miss the tiny smile of relief that flashed for a second over the pretty boy's plump looking lips. 

Jin immediately felt ashamed of the fact he had noticed how attractive Jimin was. It wans't a sexual attraction, it was more of an observation, he promised himself as he reached for the door of the exam room. 

“Here we are.” 

Without pausing, Jin opened up the door and stepped inside, holding the door open for the two younger men to follow him inside. Jimin was barely inside the office and his small hands were reaching for Hoseok's arm, his body stepping closer and pressed close to Hoseok's hip, not unlike a child.

“Shh, it's okay.” Hoseok whispered and wrapped his arm briefly around his friend, giving him a supportive squeeze. 

Jin looked on, feeling a little intrusive about watching Hoseok comfort his friend, noticing the way Jimin's body softened against Hoseok in a way that sugegsted he had been comforted like this by him many times before. 

“Hey.” Hoseok said after a moment, his tone was light and Jimin looked up into his face, waiting for him to continue. “Look, the doctor has an Eevee.” Hoseok untangled his arm from around Jimin and pointed to the figure on the counter.

“Oh!” Jin felt himself smiling as he crossed the office and picked up the figurine. “Do you like Pokemon, too?” Before Jimin could respond, Jin held Eevee out, offering the younger boy a closer look. He was glad that he had decided to bring the gift from Youngjae. 

“Y-yeah.” Jimin spoke as he gingerly took Eevee in his small hands and looked it over for a minute. “Eevee is my favourite, actually.” He looked up at Jin and gave him a small smile, and for the first time, the fear had disappeared from his eyes and his soft and full looking cheeks weren't blushing deep red. After a moment, he passed the toy back and Jin set it down on the counter.

“My favourite too. That was a gift from my friend.” Jin said and then his tongue wandered over his dry lips, knowing that as much fun as it was to talk about Pokemon with Jimin as though they were just two friends with a similar interest, he knew that he had to be professional as well. His stomach coiled with anxiety as he stepped towards the counter and picked up the file that Doctor Wang had given him, containing all of the notes and history for Jimin. “So... why don't you have a seat up on the table.” 

And there was the fear, moving in like storm clouds in Jimin's soft eyes and Jin felt a stab of guilt. Without speaking, Jimin gave him a tiny nod and then moved towards the examination table, with Hoseok following behind him and taking the seat that was beside the table. Jimin paused and then hoisted himself onto the table, tiny fingers grasping tightly at the edge and making his knuckles turn white, his shoulders already stiff with tension and they hadn't even begun.

“Breathe, Jimin.” Jin said softly, stepping close to the table. “Is there anything i can do to make you less nervous?” 

Jimin shook his head and his eyes closed for a moment. Jin watched as he took a deep but shaky breath, and then another, and another, until he was trembling less and he opened his eyes, looking to Jin and seeming so small and frail. Jin wanted to ask why he was so afraid, wanted to know if he had had a bad experience or if it was just a phobia that had rooted itself within him. It wasn't uncommon that patients became fearful as children, Jin had learned a little about it at school, but he hadn't had a lot of first hand opportunities to practice calming nervous patients down. There usually hadn't been time for that in the emergency room. 

“So, you are about to go on tour? That is pretty cool...” Jin wondered if he sounded as nervous as he felt. “It looks like we just have to do a quick exam and two vaccines so that you are healthy and ready to go.”

“Wait.” Jimin's tone was sharp but his body was rigid, sitting straight up on the table. “T-two?”

Hoseok was standing up now, hands reaching out for Jimin, but the younger boy shrugged him away, not wanting to be touched and Jin felt increasingly anxious, as though Jimin were a volcano threatening to erupt. 

“I thought it was just one.” Hoseok offered a quick explanation. “Jimin, it'll be fine.” He added hastily, glancing towards his friend and again, reaching out with his hands, trying to make contact in a bid to comfort him. But Jimin jerked his arm away again, stubborn and growing increasingly fidgetty.

“Umm..” Jin felt his heart racing as his eyes scanned the papers in the folder, the records clearly indicated that Jimin was due for two updates on his vaccinations and he was entirely unsure how he had been given the wrong information and what he could say to make right of the situation. “I could double check with Doctor Wang, if you like... but, it says here that you are due for tetanus and hepatitis vaccines. You know, it really won't be so bad...” Jin felt his heart pounding as he decided to take a risk, offering something that he may or may not be allowed to do. But, Jimin looked so scared and Jin felt as though his options were limited. “And if you want, we could just do one today and you can come back for another?” 

“I don't think we have time.” Hoseok spoke before Jimin could. “We leave in two days.”

Jin swallowed around the growing lump in his throat. Hoseok was right, it was unlikely that he could guarantee Jimin another appointment before he left. He felt a little frustrated at the fact that Jimin had been given the wrong information and now he looked like the bad guy, pinning this crummy surprise on him and there was nothing he could do. If Jimin didn't have his vaccines up to date, he wouldn't be allowed to travel. Fear like cold water rising around him, Jin was sure he could hear his heart pounding between his ears as he looked between the two boys and waited for something to happen. Jimin looked on the verge of bursting into tears and Hoseok looked helpless and frustrated, not unlike Jin felt.

“Wh-where is the bathroom?” Jimin finally broke the silence and slid from the bed.

“I'll come with you,” Hoseok offered and started to follow his friend but Jimin reached out and stopped him. 

“No.” Jimin shook his head and then looked to Jin. “So?” His tone was a little bit sharp, more impatient than nervous and Jin trembled, his mouth feeling dry and his throat tight.

“Um, just over here.” Jin guided Jimin towards a mint green coloured door, behind it was a tiny but immaculate bathroom with gleaming white fixtures. 

Jimin disappeared behind the door and Jin felt the waves of fear again, threatening to overtake him as he pulled in a deep breath. A few feet away, Hoseok slunk back into the chair beside the examination table and leaned his head against the wall, eyes looking up at the ceiling and shoulders slumped. He looked defeated and Jin rolled around some questions in his mind but felt rather shy and awkward, so it was a long moment before he cleared his throat. Hoseok seemed like a genuinely nice guy and there was something less intimidating about him by himself than him and Jimin together. Jin had a feeling that Jimin might be awhile in the bathroom and he was thankful for the double appointment block and for the moment alone with Hoseok as well, wondering if maybe he could help him find a way to make this easier for his friend. And for Jin, himself. It was now or never, and Jin decided that honesty was probably going to be the best way to plunge into this. 

“I feel bad.” 

Hoseok jumped a little in his seat and then looked at the doctor with a faint smile. “Me too, really.” 

“Is... he going to be okay?” Jin licked his lips and leaned against the counter, studying Hoseok's worried expression. 

“I think so.” Hoseok replied after a moment. “He just.. gets really nervous.”

Jin nodded, wanting to trust that Hoseok was right, that Jimin really was going to be okay, but he felt worried. He'd never expected his first patient to be so... high maintenance, and if this was his first day, he was anxious that they'd chosen the wrong person for the job. 

“Did... something happen to him?” Jin asked after a moment, speaking quietly enough that he hoped Jimin wouldn't hear from behind the door.

Hoseok shook his head but bit down on his lip, looking down and away from jin. “I don't... think it's my place to say.” 

Jin felt his stomach churn, a whole new bundle of feelings of guilt and sympathy for Jimin. And he didn't even know what happened, or if he would ever know. But it must have been pretty uncomfortable for him if he was this nervous now.

“That's fair.” Jin responded and then let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. 

Before Jin could think of anything else to say, the bathroom door swung open and Jimin stepped back into the room, cheeks blotchy and eyes shining. Hoseok stirred in the seat, seeming as though he wanted to get up and go to his friend but remaining still. Jin looked to Jimin, giving him a smile that felt shy and standing up from where he had been leaning against the counter.

“Are you okay, Jimin?” Jin asked, pushing one of his hands into the deep pocket on his long coat. 

Jimin nodded. “Y-yeah. I'm ready now.” 

But ready was the farthest thing from how Jin felt. Despite the fact that he had given an exam just like this one dozens – maybe hundreds of times before, it felt just like his first day in residency. The same coiling nerves in the pit of his stomach that had been there the first time he walked into an exam room with his first patient. Jin studied Jimin for another moment, knowing that it was taking all of Jimin's courage to be there in that moment and that Jin owed him the same effort. 

“Great, let's get started?”


	3. Office Hours - Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *formatting is wonky because I posted from my phone, I will edit this when I can*  
This was probably one of the slowest to write chapters EVER. I spent what felt like ages on it and tried my best. If you don’t like it, please don’t flame me because I don’t think my sensitive ass can take it with this fic - LOL. If you enjoy, please please please take a second and let me know, it means a lot with this story. 
> 
> Obviously, I’m not a doctor and I make no claim that this story is medically accurate at all times - it’s a work of fiction and I have done my best but know there will be things not quite right. 
> 
> Enough rambling, let’s go...

“Jimin, the first thing I need you to do for me is to take a big, deep breath.”

Jin watched as Jimin took one breath, and then another. Jin sighed  
softly to himself knowing that Jimin was trying to listen, however,  
both breaths were shallow and no match for the task of calming the  
tremors that were coursing through his body as he sat on the crinkly  
paper that covered the examination table.

“Good, that’s good… take a few more for me, okay?”

Jin offered praise, wanting Jimin to feel as though he were doing  
well, hoping that it would help him relax. Jin waited patiently,  
watching as Jimin’s chest grew as he took a breath in and then slowly  
deflated as he exhaled. Sure enough, after repeating this several more  
times, Jin realized that the quivering had calmed and Jimin’s  
shoulders had softened, no longer set stiffly and instead, falling  
forward a little. Jin glanced over at Hoseok, noticing the way his  
eyes were glued to his friend, his lips holding the smallest of  
smiles. It reminded Jin a little bit of the closeness between himself  
and Youngjae. It also reminded him of the time he had sat with his  
friend all night in a packed emergency room after Youngjae had fallen  
and broken his wrist. Even a medical student himself, could be  
nervous, his Youngjae had clung to him for hours and whimpered like a  
child as the cast had been applied to his tender wrist. Jin  
contemplated sharing such information with Jimin, wondering if it  
might help alleviate some stress, but decided not to, knowing that  
sharing personal details with patients was generally frowned upon.  
Instead, Jin offered Jimin a smile and moved forward with the  
examination in the same way he has done so many times before. Perhaps,  
Jin decided, some of his own nerves were calming, as well.

“You’re doing great. Let’s just start with a few questions, how’s that  
sound, Jimin?”

Jimin’s soft brown eyes landed on Jin’s and he nodded whilst working  
his lower lip between his front teeth, which Jin noticed were the  
slightest bit crooked.

“First off, have you had any aches or pains lately?” Jin asked,  
stepping a little bit closer to Jimin, almost brushing against the  
examination table as he closed the space between himself and the  
younger.

“No.” Jimin responded while shaking his head a little bit.

Jin considered a glance in Hoseok’s direction, knowing that his  
expression would provide a clue if Jimin was being dishonest. But, it  
felt a little bit.. sneaky? Jin thought, because he had only just got  
Jimin calmed down and he really wanted to avoid any actions that might  
cause him to become anxious again. So instead, Jin filled in the  
necessary space on the examination paperwork and then returned his  
eyes to Jimin, who was still watching him.

“Hm, have you been getting enough sleep? I know you guys have busy  
schedules… but it’s important.”

Jimin stirred a little bit, his body shifting and causing the paper  
beneath him to crinkle and crunch. After a moment and noticeably more  
pause in comparison to the previous question, Jimin responded with his  
eyes teetering away from the doctors.

“Usually. Sometimes I have trouble falling asleep.”

Jin studied Jimin, sending that there was more he wanted to say but  
had stopped. There were lots of reasons that patients could have  
trouble falling asleep, things as simple as a cup of coffee too late  
in the day or too many, but, it could also be related to mental  
health, as well. Jin felt his fingers fidgeting with the pen in his  
hand and after a moment that was probably too long, he followed up  
with Jimin.

“Do you think there is a reason for it? Are you having a lot of caffeine?”

Jimin looked towards Hoseok and then back towards Jin before sitting  
up a bit on the table and clearing his throat.

“I do like my iced coffee.” Jimin smiled but his eyes fell away from  
Jin’s a little hastily. His stare moved around his feet and the floor.  
“It’s probably just that.”

Jin felt a knotting sensation in his stomach and a snarling from his  
intuition to press Jimin for more information. But, with Jimin as  
nervous as he was, Jin couldn’t be confident that the younger boy  
would be forthcoming with his feelings quite yet. He needed to earn  
his trust, and that would take more than a visit or two, much more  
than the ten minutes or so he’d been in the office.

“Jiminie has a Starbucks addiction.” Hoseok spoke up, breaking the  
silence as he smiled at Jimin and looked between his friend and the  
doctor. “I’ll try to keep an eye on him.”

“There are worse addictions.” Jin smiled and wrote quickly on the page  
that there could be questions regarding sleep patterns and insomnia to  
follow up on during a future visit. With the basic questions out of  
the way, Jin knew it was ready for the next step of the appointment  
Fortunately for Jimin and perhaps for Jin as well, the examination was  
to be basic and simply check his vitals and overall physical health.  
There would be no invasive procedures that would require his clothes  
to come off. The most troublesome aspect that he anticipated was the  
vaccinations, but, Jin knew that the only way to approach it was head  
on. But with a gentle touch, because Jimin was anxious, but, Jin  
appreciated that he was trying his best and really, was doing pretty  
well. Mustering his confidence, Jin drew a breath before speaking  
again;

“If it’s okay with you, Jimin, I’ll check your heartbeat first?”

“Sure..” Jimin replied, and Jin could see his cheeks blushing pink as  
he stepped closer still, clutching the stethoscope he was about to  
slide underneath Jimin’s white t-shirt. It was such an incredibly  
simple procedure and yet Jin felt as though it was his first day on  
his first placement, his movements clumsy feeling around Jimin, who  
suddenly seemed so much more petite close up. As he had hundreds of  
times before, Jin slipped his hand beneath Jimin’s shirt, slipping up  
from the bottom and as his fingers brushed his ribs Jimin quivered.

“Sorry!” He squeaked nervously.

“It’s okay” Jin soothed in a quiet voice. “Just breathe for me for a sec.”

After just a few moments, Jimin seemed considerably more calm and Jin  
felt more sure that he would be able to get an accurate reading.

“Okay, now a deep breath in and hold it…”

Jimin did exactly as Jin asked and the doctor slid the stethoscope  
over Jimin’s chest as gently as he could, listening to his heartbeat  
in a few places on the front of his chest and then on his back as  
well. As expected, he found that it was surely a little fast but  
without major defect. Before much time at all had passed, Jin slid his  
hand out from Jimin’s shirt and Jin heard the younger boy sigh softly  
as he stepped away to record the information in the records. Next Jin  
would check his blood pressure, picking up the brand new blood  
pressure cuff and carrying it back over to Jimin. Noticing the way  
that Jimin's eyes landed on the cuff, Jin took another step closer  
and leaned against the table.

“I'm going to check your blood pressure next, if that's okay, Jimin?”

Jin tried to keep his tone even and light, despite the fact that he  
could feel his heart pounding faster again. Logically, the doctor knew  
that he had no reason to be nervous, he had done exams just like this  
one hundreds of times before. So, why did this one feel so different?  
Was it because Jimin was an idol? He hadn't expected to feel...  
jittery or anxious just because his patients were famous and  
accomplished performers. And, the perception of idols that he had held  
before had been shattered by Jimin quite quickly. Jin had always  
imagined that people who had achieved such status would hold  
themselves a certain way. Jin had certainly never expected that  
someone who could perform in front of huge crowds, learn difficult  
choreography and spend hours in a recording studio could be a  
trembling mess at the notion of a simple vaccination. But there was  
Jimin. Jin wasn't trying to be cruel in his judgement, for if  
anything, he felt sympathy for the younger man. He wanted nothing more  
than to make the examination as easy as he could for him.

“Yeah, go ahead.” Jimin seemed considerably more calm at that point  
than he had when he had first entered the room and Jin knew that that  
would make checking his blood pressure a lot more easy and a lot more  
accurate.

Gingerly, Jin pushed the sleeve of Jimin's t-shirt higher on his arm,  
revealing a much larger muscle than Jin had expected. His skin was  
soft, Jin couldn't help but notice as he wrapped the cuff around  
Jimin's thick bicep with his stethoscope placed underneath. As Jin  
stepped closer to his patient, he noticed that Jimin took a sharp  
breath, his body becoming a little bit tense as the cuff began to  
tighten against his arm.

“Just relax for me.” Jin said quietly, feeling his own heart pound at  
the way Jimin's cheeks flushed and the way it sounded as he let out a  
shaking breath.

“'Kay...” Jimin spoke, his voice barely louder than a whisper but Jin  
appreciated the fact that the younger boy was taking deep breaths,  
doing his best to follow the directions that had been provided for  
him. Sure enough, Jin could feel his blood pressure lowering, even  
with the way the cuff was slowly tightening around his arm. It wasn't  
the most comfortable feeling, but Jimin was staying pretty calm.

“So, what's your favourite Eevee-lution?” Jin asked suddenly, breaking  
the silence and hoping to lighten the heavy mood that seemed to be  
growing between them. Though Jimin's nervousness seemed to be easing  
up, Jin could tell that he was anything but comfortable with him and  
he was feeling quite apprehensive about how the vaccinations were  
going to go if he wasn't able to build a certain level of trust  
between the two of them.

“Um...” Jimin seemed decidedly surprised by the doctors question, but  
the faintest hint of a smile seemed to tug at the corner of his lips  
as his face twisted in thought, providing the query great  
consideration. “Probably Vaporeon... so cute.” Jimin blushed as his  
thick lips pulled into a full smile and his eyes formed the cutest  
crescents.

Jin cursed himself for noticing him in that way, but decided that he  
couldn't be the first person to notice that Jimin was attractive. He  
was a member of a boy band, after all. Jin took a deep breath himself,  
willing his thoughts to return to the task at hand, tightening the  
cuff all the way and recording Jimin's blood pressure. After a few  
moments, he released the cuff and slid the stethoscope away from his  
skin.

“What about you?” Jimin spoke suddenly and Jin felt a slight startle.  
“What's your favourite Eevee-lution?”

Jin scribbled quickly on the medical records the information about  
Jimin's blood pressure and then chewed on his lower lip as he hummed  
thoughtfully in response to the younger boys question. Just as the  
little Eevee figurine had reminded Jin of Youngjae before, he thought  
of his friend again in that moment, remembering one of the times that  
they had been up into the late hours of the night studying for one of  
their exams together. They had just finished a pot of coffee, despite  
the fact that it was after four in the morning, and the further  
overdose of caffeine had made focusing difficult, so they began joking  
around. Somehow, the topic of Pokemon had come up, and Youngjae had  
made a particularly corny joke that had made Jin laugh so hard, tired  
and hyper on caffeine, that he came close to wetting his pants. Before  
Jin could stop himself, he was repeating the joke, a smile on his lips  
and his heart warm with the memory of his best friend.

“Probably Jolteon...” Jin said, smiling at Jimin who was watching him  
carefully at that point, not exactly nervous but still seeming  
decidedly on guard. “Is that...shocking?” Jin blushed, feeling as  
though the joke sounded a lot more funny in his head but to his  
relief, Jimin dissolved into giggles.

“Wooooow...” Hoseok groaned. “You guys share a sense of humour.”

“Do we?” Jin smiled as he leaned against the table, his eyes moving  
between Hoseok and Jimin, who was still giggling a little bit. “I'm  
just glad I could make you laugh... are you feeling a little bit  
better?”

Immediately, Jin regretted saying that, the same way he had the corny  
joke, because the smile had faded from Jimin's face as quickly as it  
had come, in the first place. Tense again, Jimin looked away from Jin  
and towards the floor. Gone was the laughing boy and back was the  
scared one, along with all of Jin's anxiety. Why had he asked him  
that?

“Sorry.” Jin blurted out. “You know...” And again, the words were  
tumbling out before Jin could quite get a grasp on where they were  
going. He swallowed around the lump rising in his throat, thoughts  
clouded with confusion, struck with the decision of sharing how he  
honestly felt with Jimin and putting on a brave face and being the  
professional that he knew he was expected to be. Jimin's eyes wandered  
up from the floor as the silence lingered between them, curious about  
what Jin was going to say next and Jin knew that there was only one  
way to handle things.

“It's my first day today.” Jin struggled with the temptation to look  
away from Jimin, who was then staring straight at him, hanging onto  
his every word. It was endearing and nerve wracking both but Jin knew  
that he had to continue what he had started. “I'm pretty nervous  
myself.”

“Really? Why are you nervous?” Jimin asked, the tempo of his speech  
increasing with each word that managed to escape his lips. “Please  
tell me that you do know what you're doing?” Jimin's tone developed an  
edge of concern.

Jin chuckled from deep within his belly and reached over, brushing his  
fingers lightly over Jimin's shoulder in a gesture of comfort. “Yes. I  
can assure you that I do know what I'm doing. I've done this hundreds  
of times during my residency... I...” Jin worried his lower lip  
between his teeth and chewed at it nervous. “I... Just worry about  
making a good first impression... like right now, I feel pretty  
silly.”

“Don't feel silly.”

It was Hoseok who spoke up and both Jimin and the doctor turned to  
look towards him at the same time. Hoseok sat up a little taller, his  
dark eyes flitting between the others as he summoned himself up before  
speaking again.

“I think you're doing great. I mean... At Jimin's last ex-”

“Hobi!” Jimin suddenly cut his friend off, his tone sharp and his  
cheeks flushed a deep red shade. “Shut. Up.”

Hoseok's smile faded immediately, his features crumbled under his  
friends harsh tone and his shoulders fell forward, looking defeated.  
Jin felt a pang of sympathy, he could tell that Hoseok had meant no  
ill intention by bringing up the account of the last exam but it was  
obvious that something had happened that embarrassed Jimin greatly. A  
few moments crawled by, thick with an awkward tension and Jin felt  
unsure of what exactly to say to steer things back on course. There  
were only a few more things that he needed to check before he got to  
the vaccinations and although he knew that he needed the exam to  
proceed, Jin felt a lump rising in his throat as his eyes flittered  
nervously between the two boys. It was Jimin that finally squirmed,  
his cheeks blushing deep red as he took a deep breath.

“Sorry.”

Jin blinked for a moment, feeling guilty. There hadn't been anything  
that Jimin needed to apologize for but Jin didn't quite know what to  
say, knowing that Jimin was apologizing for the little outburst and  
wondering if the apology would be better directed at Hoseok. After  
what was probably a moment too long, Jin offered Jimin a small smile.

“No need to be sorry... Hey, we only have a few more things to check.  
Can you hop up on that scale over there for me?”Jin gestured across  
the room.

“Sure.” Jimin replied, sliding from the examination table without  
pause and heading in the direction of the scale that Jin had pointed  
out.

After Jimin had settled on the scale, Jin stepped up behind him,  
clipboard in hands. Brow furrowed, Jin glanced a second time at the  
number to be sure it was correct. It was ten pounds lower than the  
weight that had been recorded at Jimin's appointment six months  
before. While it wasn't an absurdly large number, Jin couldn't help  
but notice as his eyes scanned Jimin's thin frame, that there really  
weren't many pounds there to be lost. As he scribbled down the number,  
he felt his stomach coil with uncertainty. He wanted to ask Jimin  
about the weight loss, but, again, he doubted that the younger boy  
trusted him enough to provide an honest answer.

“You can go ahead and go back to the table. I'm just going to take a  
quick look in your mouth and your ears and that's about it.”

“For the easy part, you mean.” Jimin mumbled in a morose tone before  
climbing back onto the table.

Jin felt the twisting sensation within his stomach again and another  
pang of sympathy as well. He felt guilty for being the source of  
Jimin's nervousness and for the unlucky chance that he'd been his  
first patient. Instead of wading in with what he had hoped would be a  
simple appointment, he'd instead come face to face with anxieties that  
he hadn't felt for such a long time and the overwhelming feeling that  
no matter what he did or how he spoke to Jimin, he still had to stick  
him with two needles and there was no way to make it hurt any less.

“Hey, we'll make all of it easy.” Jin said with a smile that he hoped  
looked more genuine than it felt. “The needles are super tiny and I'm  
really quick.”

The crinkling of the paper that covered the table was what tipped Jin  
off to the fact that Jimin was clinging to the table while his body  
trembled. His face looked a little more pale than it had only seconds  
before and it took only another second for Jin to realize what his  
mistake had been. Talking about the needles. Closing his eyes for a  
moment, he drew a deep breath.

“Jimin, take a deep breath for me.” Jin said in the most gentle tone he could.

To his relief, he watched as the younger boy took a deep breath, and  
then a second, and after a third, his eyes wandered to the doctors and  
as he worried his lower lip between his teeth, he looked as though he  
might say something, but ultimately, remained silent.

“I didn't mean to make you nervous.” Jin explained quietly as he  
picked up the small light he would use to look into the younger boys  
ears and mouth. “I wish there was something I could do to help.”

Jimin's eyes held Jin's stare for a moment as he seemingly digested  
what the doctor had said. From what Jin could read from the younger  
boys expression, he was giving the question quiet consideration,  
contemplating a solution he could offer Jin. But, the room remained  
silent and Jin glanced over at Hoseok, who had been watching Jimin the  
same way that he had been. Deciding that no answer was going to come,  
Jin resigned to moving forward with the exam, knowing that the sooner  
he finished up with the basics, he could get to the real obstacle. But  
after that... He would be able to say that he had accomplished it. And  
maybe, Jimin would trust him a little bit more, too. Jin wanted to do  
everything he could to make it as easy as he could for his patient.  
Even though he had had nothing to do with how Jimin's fear of doctors  
had come to be, Jin felt determined to be a part of resolving it. Even if only a little. Even if Jimin were less afraid of him and only him, it would feel like a success. Jin gave the desperately brave boy a small smile, hoping it would offer a sliver of encouragement. 

“I'll look in your ears first, if that's okay?”

“Sure.” Jimin responded and sat perfectly still as Jin leaned closer  
to the examination table and used the light to shine brightness into  
Jimin's ear canals, one after the other. Both were clean and without  
any defect or concern and Jin scribbled this quickly on the medical  
records. Jimin remained quiet on the table as Jin turned on his heels away from the paperwork and faced him again. 

“Lastly, just say AHH and open as wide as you can.” 

Jimin obeyed without any hesitation, his plump lips parting and revealing professionally whitened and almost perfectly straight teeth. As Jin shone the light into his mouth, he noticed one front tooth was the slightest bit crooked but there was no swelling in his throat or otherwise and everything seemed healthy and normal, so, Jin switched the light off and stepped back. After recording the last of the information on the records, Jin found himself hesitating, eyes scanning the pages more than necessary to be sure that there was nothing he had missed. No other way to stall the exam and what was to come. A tense silence had fallen over the room, if a pin were to fall it would resonate loudly but instead, Jin could hear only the slow but shaky breathing of Jimin, sitting still as a statue on the table, face drawn and features washed with a decidedly pale hue. Jin looked towards the tray with the syringes and then back towards Jimin, wishing there was something he could do to spare the boy from the vaccines. 

“Can I go to the bathroom?” Jimin’s voice suddenly filled the room. 

“S-sure.” Jin agreed but felt his stomach coil, more procrastination wouldn’t help, but, he didn’t feel as though stopping Jimin would be a better alternative, either.

Jimin slipped down from the table and crossed the room, pulling the bathroom door closed behind himself and leaving Jin and Hoseok alone. Jin could feel the weight of the younger boys eyes on him before he dared look in the direction of where he was sitting. He wanted to ask Hoseok for advice but it didn’t feel professional. Mustering the last of his courage, he smiled and cleared his throat before speaking; 

“What do you like most about touring?” 

Hoseok sat up, his face lighting up as he smiled with both his mouth and his dark eyes. He was adorable when he smiled, which made Jin feel guilty and awkward for noticing, but he also knew he’d never act on such thoughts. It was merely harmless observation. The same way he merely observed the way his shorts had slid up his thigh, revealing exceptionally large and well defined muscles. 

“Probably dancing on stage for one…” Hoseok said and then paused for a moment, giving the back question careful consideration. 

Dancing, yes, that explained those legs, Jin had decided. However, it couldn’t explain why he had still been staring at them despite trying his best to look away. Fortunately, it hadn’t seemed as though Hoseok had noticed the direction of the older man’s gaze, because he continued rambling on after a brief pause, a distraction from his worries that Jin had felt grateful for. 

“It’s also really great to meet the fans… sometimes a little overwhelming, too.” 

“I imagine so” Jin nodded, though imagining it was a lot different than experiencing it, he was sure. He couldn’t help but wonder how it felt to travel to places to perform for people you had never met and yet had such strong feelings for you. Although flattering and thrilling for so many people to be so invested in you… it must be at least a little strange, too. Admittedly, Jin had always been more introverted. Sure, he had friends and he’d never gone without, he’d never been “the loser” or the “weird kid” but, he had never really stood out, either. Jin had always felt as though he’d become used to blending in and being unremarkable. A lot of people envied Hoseok’s lifestyle, but, Jin couldn’t be sure he was one of them. Being a doctor was what he had always wanted to do and he wondered what Hoseok had dreamt of doing before he became famous. Part of him wanted to ask, but, before he could, the bathroom door swung back open. 

Jin turned his head right away to give Jimin a hopeful smile. The toilet hadn’t flushed nor had the sink been run, but, Jin knew that he hadn’t disappeared to relieve himself in that way. The splotchy blush of his cheeks and his puffy eyes revealed the real purpose of Jimin’s disappearance and knowing that his patient had been crying made Jin feel guilty all over again. 

“You okay, Jiminie?” Hoseok stood and brought himself over to his friends side, large hands reaching out and brushing over his arm as he caught Jimin’s eyes and searched them with his own. 

Jimin nodded his head slowly but Jin could tell that he was anything but okay. And Hoseok could tell, as well, eyes fixed on his friends and lips set in a tight line. It was obvious that Hoseok had wanted to ask more, to offer comfort, to say something, anything, that might help, but something stronger kept him quiet, following Jimin back to the table wordlessly. 

Jin could feel his mind racing, as though it were scrambling through a thousand thoughts, like fingers combing a rack of CD’s, scanning the titles but ceasing to pause on just one. And in a flash, he remembered a particularly difficult day during his second residency in a children’s hospital. 

“Hey… I just had an idea.”

The corners of Jin’s mouth pulled towards the shape of a smile, hoping it would lighten the mood of the room, even a little, but Jimin stared at him with the same scared eyes and stony expression. Hoseok looked slightly more hopeful, eyes flirting between the doctor and his friend. 

“Sometimes it’s easier if you receive both shots at the same time…” Jin began to explain, thinking of the time him and another student had stood on opposite sides of a young patient and with careful timing, had given two injections in the same amount of time it would have taken to give one and without the dreadful anticipation that would have followed the first. “I could ask Dr. Wang to come in and help, if you wanted to try it that way?” 

“NO” Jimin replied in a tone much louder and much more sharp than Jin could have expected and he felt his body bristling a little, a combination of shock and regret, unable to resist the thought that he’d just made Jimin even more upset. 

“No, no, no” Jimin replied, his tone more quiet but his words were wobbly and fast, laced with fear. 

The quiet tension from earlier had began to fill the room again and Jin felt helpless all over once more, as well. 

“Jimin… doesn’t like Dr. Wang.” Hoseok explained while Jimin looked over at him quickly and then back to Jin, his eyes a little wide and his cheeks a lot flushed. Jin’s eyes wandered between the two boys, torn about whether or not he should press for more information. He decided to remain quiet, wondering if perhaps Hoseok might continue - or even Jimin. Jin felt his lips part as though he were about to speak, but the lump in his throat kept him quiet, deciding that the look on Jimin’s face revealed enough to say that he would not want to entertain discussion about his past experience with the head doctor and more importantly, why he seemed so terrified of him. But, Jin felt insatiably curious about what had happened and so made a mental note to ask Dr. Wang himself about it instead of Jimin. 

“Okay… well, there are still a couple things we can do.” Jin paused before continuing once he had Jimin’s attention, his kind brown eyes watching the doctors every motion. “Do you think it’s easier if we space them out, do one on each arm with a break to catch our breath in between?” Jin spoke in a soft and gentle voice, keeping the pace of his words on the lazier side and recognizing that it was the same voice he used when talking to children. “Or do you think it would be better to do it as quickly as possible? I can move pretty quickly so that it’s over in no time at all.” Jin studied Jimin thoughtfully as he considered the options that had been provided and hoped that he’d pick the latter, feeling as though efficiency would be the key.

After what felt like minutes but was really only a few seconds, Jimin cleared his throat. “I kinda feel like faster is better… less time to think about it.” 

“I agree.” Jin gave Jimin a smile, he had been hoping to convey encouragement. The doctor had felt decidedly thankful that Jimin had chosen the option of doing things quickly.

“If it’s okay with you, I’ll grab what I need and we can get to it and have you out of here. Or, we can take a few more minutes.” 

Jin maintained a calm tone, pleased that he seemingly sounded more confident than he had felt but also proud of Jimin, because he’d been able to tell that it had taken m every drop of confidence that the younger boy had to remain on the table and in control of himself. Jimin had been trying his best and it had been Jin that the efforts had been exerted for. 

“W-we can just get it over with.” Jimin’s voice filled the room after a moment and though it had been quiet, it was not without a complete lack of courage. Behind the tremble in Jimin’s voice there had lingered a surety as well. Jin felt proud of him for being brave and wanted to wrap in a hug. But, had settled for a smile and a quick pat of reassurance, just the simple brush of his fingers against Jimin’s forearm. When he had turned away to fetch the tray with the syringes he noticed the sound of a chair scraping across the floor. As he turned back around, he saw that Hoseok had stood up and moved to Jimin’s side, eyes fixed on his friends face. 

“Is it okay if I’m here, closer?” Hoseok asked, looking to Jin and allowing his stare to break from Jimin for just a moment to seek the doctors permission. 

“Of course… I was actually going to suggest that you hold his hand.” Jin said as he reached for a fresh pair of latex gloves, tugging them snug over his fingers with a snap that caused Jimin to tremble and then reach for Hoseok’s hand. Jin had felt relieved that Hoseok was such a supportive friend, appreciating the way he had thread his long fingers between Jimin’s short and chubby ones. As Jin picked up an individually wrapped alcohol wipe, Jimin let out the tiniest squeak and Jin felt himself freeze, fresh waves of anxiety suddenly rolling violently. 

“Just breathe, Jimin. Quick pinch and then it’ll be over. I promise to be as gentle as I can.”

Jin spoke quietly as he stepped closer to the table, close enough to see Jimin’s ankle bouncing and the deepening blush that shaded his plump cheeks. Jimin had remained quiet, eyes fixed on the shoelaces in his black converse low-tops. 

“Remember to breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth… and slowly. I’m just going to clean your arm.” 

Jin could feel Jimin’s trembling as he stepped closer still, tearing open the small packet he’d been holding and then bringing it to Jimin’s upper arm. As the doctor had expected he would, Jimin flinched at the cold sensation of the alcohol wipe as Jin swabbed his arm tenderly though thoroughly. When he was through, Jin could feel his heart pounding heavily in his chest, there was nothing else left to do then except the shots. Jin willed himself to remain calm, fully aware that a shaky hand would be the last thing to put poor Jimin at ease. 

“Okay, now, you’re going to help me, Jimin.” The doctor explained as he picked up one of the syringes as casually as though it had been a pen. Jin noticed Jimin’s eyes widen a little at his words and before he could question it, Jin had decided to continue with his explanation. “I’m going to count to one and two, and you’re going to say three. I won’t do the shots until you are ready. You are in control. Okay?” 

Jin had noticed Hoseok give Jimin’s hand a squeeze, as though to provide some last minute encouragement. Still, Jimin had remained quiet for a moment, absorbing what Jin had said to him. And then finally, he lifted his chin and looked at the doctor with a trembling lip but a look determination cast in his dark eyes. 

“I’ve never… done it this way, but, I’ll try.” His voice had been barely louder than a whisper but what Jimin had said next left Jin a little startled. “Th-Thanks for trying so hard to make this b-better.” The older doctor had not expected the praise and he was left blushing. “I am sorry that I’m such a baby.” Jimin continued, his eyes having fallen again to the floor and with his shoulders slumped, cheeks flushed a rusty red and small fingers clutched in his friends steady grasp, Jin could admit that he resembled someone much younger. But, it had taken great strength to even get as far as they had. From the quivering bundle of nerves that had arrived late to the young man who had remained fairly stoic throughout his examination and was now thanking him for his efforts… Jimin was no baby. Jin felt sure of that. 

“Jimin.” 

Jin started to speak but then paused, feeling his tongue on his dry lips and the warmth of a blush on his own cheeks when the younger boy dared to lift his eyes, finding the doctors gaze and holding on, waiting for him to continue. 

“Two things. One, when you’re in my office, you never need to apologize for anything. Especially not for being scared. Okay?” 

Jin felt the familiar burn in his lungs reminding him to breathe, he’d had no idea where this sudden confidence had come from. But, when he chanced a look in Jimin’s direction, he felt his heart soar at the tiniest smile tugging at the corner of Jimin’s mouth. 

“Okay.” Jimin’s tiny smile stretched the littlest bit more. 

“Two, the very last thing you are is a baby. You’ve been nothing but brave and I’m proud of you.” 

Jin had made sure to use a tone that was sweet and not too quick, speaking slowly while maintaining a steady gaze. Just as he hoped, the words seemed to pour like thick honey and Jimin blushed a deep red colour, twice as sweet. 

“You are?”

Jimin asked, eyes wide and shiny, but instead of looking as though he might burst into tears, Jin noticed instead something else. A glimmer of curiosity? Happiness? Pride? Jin couldn’t be sure, but, certain he was, that he liked the way it looked. A smaller part of him knew he liked the way it made him feel, too, but a larger part of him, his conscience, told him to nip those feelings in the bud right away. 

“I’m very proud of you.” 

Jin spoke barely more than a murmur and from the way Jimin blushed, he could sense that the younger boy had finally begun to relax. Gingerly, Jin wrapped his fingers around Jimin’s bicep without feeling a flinch or a quiver. 

“You’re doing so well. How about it?” Jin casually uncapped the vaccine and waited for Jimin to begin trembling again. But when he remained still, eyes fixed on Jin with a total look of trust, Jin felt his stomach coil with nerves and something else, too. “One, two…” 

“Three.” 

Jimin closed his eyes just before Jin quickly plunged the first needle into his arm as precisely as he could. The tiniest squeak escaped Jimin’s swollen lips but he remained still, clutching Hoseok’s hand tightly with his own. Jin watched diligently as the tip of the needle just barely punctured the skin before pressing down the plunger to release the contents and pulling it back, finished. Jimin remained completely still, silent. Jin knew that the younger boy had elected to do this quickly, but his conscience stirred with the desire to be absolutely sure. Jimin’s eyes, still tightly shut, teeth sunk into his lower lip, but still looking courageous. At least, to Jin. 

“Ready?” Jin whispered, so close to Jimin that when he breathed in, the spicy, almost cinnamon like scent of his cologne filled his nostrils. He felt a little surprised that he hadn’t noticed it before. 

“Ready.” Jimin opened his eyes for a second and inhaled a generous breath as his eyelids fluttered closed again, long lashes brushing the tops of rosy cheeks. 

Without further pause, Jin reached out to steady Jimin’s arm, and just as swiftly as the first, the second needle slipped into his skin. 

“Aishh!” Jimin hissed at the second prick but remained fairly still, clutching Hoseok’s hand until his knuckles had blanched a show white shade. 

“All finished, just one second for the bandaid.” 

Jin reached over to the tray to retrieve the two bandaids he had arranged there previously, tearing both packets open at the same time. 

“Oooh, cute.” 

Hoseok cooed with approval as Jin placed a neon orange and then a neon pink bandage over both of the tiny marks where he had pricked Jimin’s skin. He had wondered if the brightly coloured bandaids would be silly when he opted to buy them for his office instead of using the standard issue brown ones which he had known would be stocked. Jin felt glad that his first guests had appreciated the gesture and was suddenly eager to share with Jimin something else. 

“You did so well, Jimin.” Jin studied the younger boy carefully, pleased to see that his breathing had slowed and that he seemed pretty calm. Jin felt a mingling of emotions, pleased that the appointment had gone as smoothly as it had but still so curious about what had happened to cause Jimin to develop such a fear.

“Th-Thanks. You were the best doctor I’ve had in awhile.” Jimin’s eyes wandered to the floor as he blushed in a way that didn’t seem fearful, but, still seemed out of place on a k-pop idol. 

“I haven’t even given you the chocolate yet.” Jin smirked, pushing down the affectionate warm feelings that Jimin’s compliment had triggered within him and picking up the bowl of miniature candy bars. 

“Oh… I shouldn’t” Jimin’s smile faded as his eyes danced over the candy. 

“One won’t hurt you.” Hoseok quipped in in a voice that sounded terse, his dark chocolate eyes locked on Jimin’s and lips set in a tight line. Jin could tell that there was more Hoseok wasn’t saying but despite his budding curiosity to know about all of the things about Jimin that were being said without actually being said, Jin held his tongue. 

“I shouldn’t.” Jimin continued, shaking his head even though his eyes were still fixed on a package of milk chocolate m&m’s. 

“You should.” Jin said as he reached into the glass bowl and plucked the package of m & m’s from the bowl and held it out to Jimin. “Doctors orders.” 

It had been then that Jimin cracked, thick lips creating the sweetest smile that Jin could imagine as he gingerly took the candy and blushed, eyes crinkling in the most endearing way that made Jin want to gather him in a hug. He had done so well and really, earned the entire bowl of chocolates. Heart slamming erratically in his chest, Jin knew he had to look away before Jimin noticed his lingering eyes. Holding the bowl out to Hoseok, he offered Jimin’s friend a chocolate. 

“You earned one too.” 

Without any hesitation, Hoseok snatched a Twix bar and immediately tore at the wrapper, devouring it before Jimin had even gotten his candy open and had a single piece. 

The next few minutes ambled by without incident as Jimin slipped from the table and adjusted his shirt as Jin rattled off the standard preamble that his arm might be sore for the afternoon and into the evening hours, but to call the next morning it any discomfort persisted. Jin finished completing the vaccination records and updating Jimin’s records before handing him the copy he would need to give his manager. The younger boy was fairly quiet, gone was the desperate fear but there was a tension that lingered, a tension that the older doctor wondered if he could ever ease. Again, the need to know what had happened before nipped at him but instead of asking, Jin simply watched as Hoseok wrapped a protective arm around Jimin and gave him a squeeze before they started towards the door. Hoseok pulled open the door, stepping to the side and motioning for Jimin to go, however, Jimin stalled, turning to face the doctor one more time. 

“Doctor Kim?” 

Jin stared for a moment, as if he hadn’t recognized his own name. After what had been probably noticeable pause, he looked straight at Jimin and waited. 

“Thank you.” 

Jin felt his heart soar. 

.


	4. Office Hours - Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doctor Seokjin's second day mostly focuses on his patient Huening Kai (TXT) who is visiting him for a thorough physical examination which includes a prostate exam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have aged up Huening Kai so that he is eighteen in this work - which feels just a little bit less naughty than writing him as his true age, seventeen. I wrote this as very consensual and as "safe/sane" as I could, so please don't be nasty if you don't enjoy it. On the other hand, please let me know if you do like it because I feel like this is a sort of "niche" fic and genre to be writing in. The entire plot will not be solely focused on his office time, but you'll just have to wait and see how I tie the rest of the ideas in :) Thank you for reading and I really appreciate any kudos, comments, bookmarks, subs, etc. :D

It was with considerably less nervousness that Jin reached for the still not quite familiar handle on the door of the medical office and let himself inside. Though it didn’t feel like a second home, it did feel much less foreign than it had the day before. Jin waved at the friendly receptionist who expertly balanced the cordless phone she was speaking into between her neck and shoulder while her fingers moved furiously across her keyboard. She was busy, but not too busy to look towards him with a cheery grin and a tiny wave. Clutching his steel coffee tumbler, Jin made his way down the main hallway, picking up his daily schedule from the folder where Doctor Wang had shown him before. 

Jin sipped at his coffee while his eyes danced across the schedule in his hands. There were just two names, with the appointments scheduled an hour apart. The first appointment was simple, just a prescription refill for an inhaler. The second name, Huening Kai, stood out to Jin because he noticed that he was a part of the same company - BigHit - that Park Jimin had belonged to. For a moment, he wondered if the two may know each other, but as Jin studied the details he realized it was unlikely because Kai was a trainee. Kai would be seeing him for his final physical entrance exam, to ensure that he was fully fit to go on tour and have a schedule that included rigorous dance training. It would be a fairly straightforward procedure, Jin thought to himself, knowing he’d done exams just like it hundreds of times before, save for a couple small details. Most notably, the prostate exam. Jin chewed on his lower lip, recalling the way that Doctor Wang had explained that this was a new addition to the protocol, implemented after an idol, not even thirty, had been diagnosed with stage three colon & prostate cancer the year before. Typically, it didn’t affect men as young as the ones he’d be examining, but the medical office and management companies had decided it would be better to include it, just in case. No matter how practical, Jin couldn’t quite shake the nip of anxiety that tugged at his stomach, knowing that such an intimate exam wouldn’t be without embarrassment. He was relieved, at least, that Kai’s appointment was last and that he could hopefully build up his confidence with an easier, more straight forward appointment, first. 

As expected, the first appointment had been quick and straightforward. His patient, Moonbyul, a young lady who performed with three others, was in and out within fifteen minutes, and also without more than three glances away from her phone. She was the opposite of Jimin, calm and relaxed, almost bored in Jin’s presence, but the doctor couldn’t regard it in a negative way, thankful for the simplicity and the fact that he had one more experience under his belt. The only downside to the quick appointment, was that he had nearly forty minutes to wait and worry about Kai. 

After what felt like hours, Jin sauntered out to the waiting room, still a few minutes ahead of schedule, but incredibly restless. There was just one person waiting and Jin assumed he hadn’t noticed the doctor appear because his eyes didn’t lift from his book. He looked so young, Jin thought as he quietly observed his patient. Dressed in oversized yellow sweater, dark jeans that hugged his thin legs and from under a hat, short black hair. Completely calm, Kai leaned back in the chair and turned a page in his book. It was something thick, bound by a plain hard cover with the dust jacket removed, and a most welcome change from the phones that many people his age occupied themselves with while they waited. Being a reader himself, Jin wanted to ask him about it, but couldn’t. Could he? He was still getting a handle on what was professional banter and what was not. After a pause, Jin cleared his throat and went with the obvious choice of words. 

“Huening Kai?” 

A slight twitch of his shoulders and then two dark eyes appeared over the top of the book. Jin studied the younger as he moved silently and without rush, skipping the book into his shoulder bag and standing up, meeting Jin’s eyes and offering the tiniest of smiles. He seemed anything but nervous and for that, Jin felt relieved as he invited Kai to follow him. 

The walk was silent, save for the soft padding sounds of Kai’s rubber soled Converse following behind him. When they reached the room, Jin held open the door and Kai slipped inside behind him, eyes wandering the room as he adjusted his bag on his shoulders and waited, seemingly. 

“You can take a seat up on the table, if you’re ready.” Jin said, turning towards his small desk and picking up his stethoscope. 

Again without words, Kai floated across the room, hanging his bag on the coat rack in the corner and then heading for the table, pulling himself up without any struggle and adjusting his jeans a little bit before glancing in Jin’s direction. 

“When will Doctor Wang be coming?” 

Jin felt his stomach churn - what did Kai mean? Was he under the impression that the older doctor with salt and pepper coloured hair would be conducting the exam? Back were the nerves, nipping at him from every angle and making his throat feel tight, his mouth dry.

“No… I’ll be doing the exam today. My name is Doctor Kim Seokjin. Honestly, I don’t mind if you just want to call me Dr. Jin” 

Kai’s eyebrows raised a little bit and his lips parted, as though he were about to speak, but he closed them again as his eyes moved up and down the doctors tall frame. 

“You’re my doctor? I thought you were just a nurse.” 

Kai finally spoke after a moment and Jin felt relieved to see the younger boys lips tugging towards the shape of a smile.

“I’m new, I hope you don’t mind? I can always get you scheduled in with Doctor Wang, if you prefer.” 

“No” Kai responded a lot more quickly than Jin could have expected, shaking his head and looking for the first time, maybe a little nervous. “No… it’s a good surprise.” Kai’s cheeks began to shade themselves a rosy colour and his eyes fell to the floor. “My friend Soobin had his exam from Doctor Wang…” His voice trailed off and his cheeks turned a deeper shade, still. “I… uh… I’d rather not have… that kind of…” Kai’s words faded away, falling silent before he could finish his thought, but, Jin sensed that he knew where Kai was heading. 

He had wondered before if Kai knew exactly what his appointment entailed. He had thought that if he had, his calm demeanour in the waiting room surely didn’t give it away. Now, Jin knew his patient was fully informed and he wasn’t sure how he felt knowing how relieved Kai seemed to be that Doctor Wang wouldn’t be conducting the exam. Again, Jin was reminded of the way Jimin had reacted to the suggestion that Doctor Wang assist them, and the way that Hoseok had mentioned his friends dislike of the oldest doctor in the clinic. Initially, Jin had felt nothing but respect for the elder, but it was beginning to worry him that two out of three of his patients seemed uncomfortable at his mere mention. 

“I am assuming your friend had the same exam as you’ll be having today?” Jin asked, feeling a little awkward himself. “Which as I’m sure you know, includes a prostate exam.” 

Jin noticed the younger’s shoulders stiffen up a bit at the mention of the procedure and for a moment, he was reminded of his nervous patient from the day before. The doctor had been able to talk things through with Jimin, and when he had left, Jin wanted to believe that his patient felt a lot more comfortable than when he had come in. The doctor willed his mind not to dwell too much on the fresh and anxious thoughts that he was having, instead, drawing a deep breath and throwing his trust into his own intuition. 

“Did you have any concerns about that particular procedure?” 

Jin spoke in a soft tone as he stepped up to the examination table, still several inches away from Kai because he didn’t want him to feel crowded. He watched the younger boys prominent Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed and dared his eyes to look towards the doctor, cheeks flushed a deep scarlet that had overcome his precious confidence. 

“Well.” Kai squirmed a little bit, obviously growing increasingly nervous. “Will it hurt? Soobin said it kind of…” he looked away again, eyes falling to the floor. “Felt weird.” 

Jin had both expected and dreaded that question. When it came to prostate exams, it was hard to find a time when a patient hadn’t been nervous or uncomfortable. He wanted Kai to know that the apprehension he was feeling was normal but also that… point blank, having someone shove two fingers up your ass did feel kind of… weird, as his friend had said. Jin had performed the procedure hundreds of times before and yet as he studied his patient, considering the right choice of words, he could feel the all too familiar heat of a blush rising on his own cheeks. 

“Honestly?” Jin said after a moment which felt it might have been too long. “It does feel a bit weird, but I promise to do everything in my power to ensure that it doesn’t hurt.” 

Kai’s eyes were fixed in Jin’s then, holding his gaze steadily in a way that the doctor felt hard to read. He didn’t seem nearly as scared as Jimin had been, there was no trembling or quivering as he sat fairly still, looking a little… stoic, even, Jin decided. 

“I’m just glad it’s not Doctor Wang.” Kai said quietly and again, Jin’s stomach stirred with worry. “You seem a lot nicer.” He said the second part even more quietly but Jin appreciated the warmth of his words. 

“Thanks, Kai. Like I said, it’s not exactly… fun, for anyone, but we’ll make it as easy as we can, okay?”

The drawer on his desk creaked a bit as he pulled it open and plucked a fresh pair of gloves from the box. He stretched the latex over his hands and then draped his stethoscope around his neck and reached to lift the pieces to his ears. 

“Shall we get started?” 

Kai nodded and sat up a little straighter as Jin closed the space between them, one hand on the end of his stethoscope and with the other, he gingerly lifted the material of Kai’s thick yellow sweater and slipped the stethoscope against his smooth skin. Jin listened for a moment, Kai’s heartbeat was strong and beating an even, healthy tempo. Just before he was about to pull back, he heard Kai draw a deeper breath, noticed his soft looking lips pull themselves into a little smirk. 

“Some people might find it fun…”

Kai bit his lip cheekily as he grinned without shame. Jin could hardly believe what he was hearing, his heart beat rapidly increasing as the younger boy continued;

“Soobin told me it CAN feel good. Just… not when the doctor does it.”

If Jin had had anything in his mouth, he would have choked on it. Kai was not at all the patient he had expected, and his confidence was tall for someone who had only just turned eighteen. Jin admired him for that, for seeming so sure of himself and who he was as a teenager. Jin felt as though he has only started to feel comfortable in his own skin just within the past couple of years. He was nothing like Kai at his age. Blushing, Jin withdrew the stethoscope and gave Kai a shy smile before drawing a deep breath, knowing he’d need to muster all of his confidence for what he was about to say. 

“Your friend… is right, about that too. The prostate is full of nerve endings…” 

Jin felt unsure if he should even continue, his cheeks burning hot with embarrassment. But Kai held his stare with a steady gaze, the faint pink on his cheeks the only sign that he felt any hint of nervousness himself. 

“And in the right situation… yes, it can feel really good.” 

If only the floor could open up and swallow him, Jin wished silently to himself as he turned away from Kai and recorded the necessary information on his records. Reaching into the drawer on his desk, he extracted the little light he would need and then pulled a tongue depressor from the jar on top of the same fixture. To his relief, Kai hadn’t responded to what Jin had said the prostate being sensitive, and was sitting tall and rather nonchalantly on the crinkly paper that covered the examination bed. 

“I’ll check your ears, nose and throat now, if that’s okay?” 

Jin hoped that he sounded normal but he could hear himself that his voice was thin. How could he be so nervous when Kai was so calm? His eyes took his patient in again, moving over his well defined jaw line and to his shoulders, just starting to grow broad and hint at how he’d look when he was fully mature. Jin swallowed, not unlike Jimin, he couldn’t deny that Kai was attractive. In a completely different way than cherubic looking Jimin, he had sharper features and kind eyes. Jin could tell that he was mixed, probably half Korean, and he was curious about his background, what gave him his unique features and his distinctive voice. Curious too, about his personality, how he was so charismatic and seemed to feel so comfortable in his own skin. 

“Sure, go ahead.” 

Kai’s soft voice brought Jin’s thoughts back into focus, and wordlessly, the doctor picked up the light and stepped up to the table. Kai turned his head so that Jin could easily shine the light inside. The doctor checked one ear and then the other before gingerly placing the tips of his fingers against Kai’s jaw and tilting his head just enough to see into his nose. Kai flinched a little when Jin shone the light into his eyes but remained quiet, opening his mouth obediently for the tongue depressor that Jin slipped gently past his lips. He shone the light inside, a quick glance was all that was needed to see that his throat was healthy. Everything had been completed smoothly so far, Jin thought to himself as he threw out the tongue depressor and recorded more information on Kai’s file, and yet, the fluttering of nerves in his chest was persistent. At least, he was thankful, Kai hasn’t seemed to notice his anxiety and certainly wasn’t acting anxious himself, swinging his legs against the table a little as he patiently waited for Jin to be ready to continue.

“You can hop down and go over to the scale.” 

Jin motioned as he finished filling in the paperwork and watched from the corner of his eye, as Kai slipped down from the bed. His long legs crossed the room gracefully and without waiting for Jin, he stepped onto the scale with his shoulders straight and his arms at his side. When Jin was finished with the paperwork, he crossed the room and adjusted the scale until it read accurately. Not unlike Jimin, Kai was a little lower than the weight Jin knew was healthy, but unlike Jimin, he only had one other record of his weight, and unlike Jimin, he had gained instead of lost. Jin scribbled down the findings quickly and felt the fluttering of nerves building up again as they were drawing nearer to the end of the exam and closer to the part that he wasn’t exactly looking forward to. 

“So for the next parts… I am going to have you get back onto the table.” 

Jin explained to Kai, who still seemed quite calm, despite the circumstances. Maybe he was just oblivious, Jin wondered, about how close they were to … that. But before the prostate exam, Jin would feel his abdomen, as well as check his penis and testicles for any abnormalities. 

“I’m going to check your abdomen first for any swellings or abnormalities. You haven’t had any pain lately, have you?” 

Kai shook his head. “No, sir.” His bubblegum pink coloured tongue washed over his lips. “Do you need me to take my shirt off?” 

Right. His shirt. Jin nodded his head in response before clearing his throat. “Please.” He managed, turning away from Kai for a moment and swapping his gloves for a fresh pair while the younger slipped off his yellow hoody. When Jin turned back to the table, Kai was bare chested, still sitting tall and calm. Jin felt his eyes linger for a moment too long, surprised that such a thin boy had such a strong looking chest. Faintly defined abs, broad shoulders and the most adorable trail of dark hair that disappeared into his jeans. It was wrong, to look and see Kai in that way, but Jin couldn’t help it. Especially when Kai seemed so calm and relaxed in his presence, it was easy to forget he was nearly ten years younger. 

“You can lie back for me, and tell me if anything I do hurts. Okay?” 

Jin tried his best to keep his tone steady, to keep the nervous tremble out of both his words and his hands. The paper covering the table crinkled obnoxiously loudly as Kai maneuvered his body back onto the table, gingerly laying his head on the tiny, equally crinkly pillow and intuitively placing his hands on his bare navel. 

“Sorry…” Jin spoke barely louder than a whisper as he gently brushed his patients hands away. “I need your hands at your sides for now.” 

“Sure, sorry.” Kai responded softly as his hands fell down to his sides. 

Without further hesitation, Jin drew a deep breath and began, leaning over the table just enough to make it easy to reach Kai’s stomach. His hands ghosted lightly over his ribs, pressing a little harder against his sides as he felt for particular organs. Kai was still for the most part, sucking in a breath in a ticklish way when Jin poked and prodded near his navel. Trying his best to be gentle, Jin continued to touch and feel and when his long fingers trailed lower on his abdomen, Kai gasped again, louder, and Jin froze, concerned that the younger was uncomfortable, perhaps in pain. 

“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” 

“No” Kai was quick to respond, shaking his head. “It just tickled.”

Jin felt his cheeks growing warm as he blushed, giving the younger boy a shy smile as he continued to palpate his soft skin, not feeling anything amiss beneath his touch. After another moment or two, he had felt everything he needed to and concluded that Kai felt healthy and normal in all regards. His smile however faded as he realized that things were about to get a lot more intimate. He’d done an exam like this plenty of times, sure, but not as many times on someone that was Kai’s age. Jin could feel his heartbeat quickening, drumming in his chest as he looked up to Kai and found his gentle eyes. 

“Next…” Jin began, feeling his stomach churning with anxiety that he wished he could push down. “I need to ask you to slide your pants and your underwear down for me.” Jin looked away and at the floor, feeling the lump in his throat swelling more and more with each second. 

The sound of a soft groan on Kai’s lips caused Jin’s head to swivel back in his direction, catching his eyes and for the first time, seeing genuine anxiety. Kai’s cheeks turned a deeper shade of red and he chewed on his lower lip with worry, his hands paused as the button of his pants.

“I…” Kai closed his eyes and took a shaky breath. “Wish we didn’t have to do this.”

Jin felt as though he’d been kicked, genuinely guilty that his patient was dreading what was about to happen. And how could he not be? Jin thought for a long moment about how to respond, wanting to convey his empathy in a genuine way, wanting to provide some sort of comfort in what was an incredibly awkward moment. 

“I’d be nervous, too. It’s normal to feel nervous about taking your clothes off in front of anyone.” Jin finally offered, deciding honesty was the best route to navigating Kai’s anxiety, the same way it had been the day prior with Jimin. “But, we can take things slow and if you need me to stop, just say so, okay?”

Kai seemed to relax a little then, shoulders softening and lips twitching towards the shape of a tiny smile. “Yeah, okay.” He finally spoke in a quiet but sure voice, more like the Kai that he had been before, Jin thought as he returned the smile with one of his own. Instinctively, he turned away as he heard Kai lowering the zipper of his jeans, the crinkling of paper as he moved around. Jin thought it might be silly, but it was too late to change his mind, and after a moment, when he thought that Kai had stopped moving because he had finished undressing, he turned back around, and he was correct in his assumption.

“Just lay back and try to relax, take some deep breaths.”

Jin instructed quietly as he stepped up beside the table and looked down at Kai’s face before anywhere else, deciding that it might be easier for the younger boy if he didn’t look there right away. Jin listened carefully, waiting until he had heard Kai pull a few deep breaths into his chest, heard his breathing become slower and more steady. Kai exhaled a particularly deep breath and Jin felt he was ready to begin. 

“This won’t take too long at all, promise.” 

Gently, Jin trailed his gloved fingers along Kai’s thighs for a moment, watching as the younger boys eyes closed and he bit down on his lip. Jin vowed to be as gentle as he could as he gingerly took Kai’s soft cock in his hand, moving his fingers over the head and down the length of it, ensuring there were no bumps, swellings or sores. There were none, of course, and within less than a minute, Jin gently removed his hand.

“Perfect, you did great.” He said softly to Kai, keeping his fingers on his thigh. “If you could just spread your legs for me, I’ll check the rest.”

“S-sure.” Kai stuttered, eyes still closed as he parted his thighs for the doctor.

Jin moved his fingers from the top of Kai’s thighs to the inner part, moving his hand along slowly until he reached his testicles. He heard Kai take a sharp breath as his fingers moved over the sensitive skin for the first time and Jin felt his cheeks burning anxiously as he kept his touch as light as he could. Gingerly, Jin’s nimble fingers examined both of Kai’s testicles and after concluding that they were normal, he cupped both of them gently in his palm and cleared his throat.

“Cough for me?”

Kai coughed twice and Jin felt his testcles tighten as they should and after a moment, he withdrew his hand, he had finished with this stage of the exam.

“Thanks, Kai… All done with that, you can sit up for now.” 

Jin still felt awkward and anxious as he turned away from the younger boy, removing his gloves and tossing them into the garbage can as he picked up his pen and started recording the needed information on the paperwork. There was a slight tremble in his hand as he wrote and Jin took a deep breath, willing himself to be calm. The exam had gone so smoothly so far, Kai was such an easygoing and relaxed patient. Even when he had been nervous, he had been fairly stoic. Jin tried his best to believe that the rest of the exam would go just as easily, no matter what his anxiety was trying to scare him into thinking. He had done this before, and it was never as bad as anyone expected it to be. He would go slowly and use plenty of lube, assuming that Kai had never had anything or anyone really go inside...there. It wasn’t his business, of course, if he had been with a guy or a girl before. Behind him, the paper crinkled as Kai assumably sat up. Jin finished filling in the required information and then reached for yet another pair of gloves, pulling them on and then grabbing the tube of lubricant and carrying it over with him. He took a deep breath before looking to Kai, who was sitting with his hands folded in his lap and chewing on his lip, which had become swollen from all the worried nibbling.

“You okay?” 

Jin asked quietly, reaching out and placing his hand gently on Kai’s arm before he even realized what he was doing. He hoped that the gesture wasn’t crossing a line, but fortunately, Kai only gave him a shy smile and blushed a deeper shade of rosy pink.

“Just a little nervous.” Kai admitted, eyes falling away from Jin’s.

“That’s normal… It might feel a little weird, but, it won’t take very long at all and because I will only be using one finger, I will do my best not to make it hurt. If it does, tell me, and we will stop. Right away. Okay?”

Jin wanted Kai to know that he still held a certain amount of control. He wouldn’t do anything that he didn’t consent to, and he would stop immediately if he became unbearably uncomfortable. 

“Okay.” Kai said after a moment, looking into Jin’s eyes and though he didn’t smile, Jin was sure that he looked as though he felt a tiny bit better about what was about to happen.

“Alright, so, the position you want to get into...is up to you. You can either get on your hands and knees, and put your hips up for me. Or, you can lay on your side and bring your knees up to your chest.”

Jin knew that neither position was overly appealing to put yourself into, but he appreciated that Kai had been so co-operative about everything so far, and this would be no different. Without responding with words, Jin watched, feeling his stomach stir with anxiety and a little bit of endearment for how brave and courageous Kai was able to be in such an awkward moment as the younger boy got down on his hands and knees, leaning forward on his arms and letting out a shaky sigh.

“Thanks, Kai. That’s perfect. I’m going to put the lube on my fingers now and we’ll get started… take some deep breaths for me and try and focus on relaxing your muscles as much as you can. The more relaxed you are, the less uncomfortable it will be,”

Jin opened up the lube, pouring some onto one finger of one hand and ensuring that it was an ample amount before he stepped up to the edge of the table, behind Kai’s body and he felt a little awkward as his eyes wandered between Kai’s slightly parted thighs. His clenched hole was anything but relaxed looking and Jin felt the knot in his stomach tighten, anxious about causing the younger boy pain during the procedure. Using the hand without lube on it, he placed his palm against Kai’s lower back, feeling the smaller boy jump a little beneath his touch and Jin felt yet another stab of guilt. Slowly, he rubbed his gloved fingers against Kai’s lower back in an attempt to help him relax a little.

“Keep breathing, I need you to relax a bit more, I can tell you are really tense.”

The room was quiet for a couple of long feeling moments as Jin listened to the sound of Kai taking deep breaths. Slowly, the tremble in his legs began to still and Jin felt as though he was going to be able to proceed soon.

“Thank you for being patient with me.” 

Kai whispered and Jin jumped a little bit, caught off guard by the compliment and the sound of Kai’s voice in the room that had been quiet for so many moments as he had waited for him to calm down a bit. The compliment was sweet, but,it made Jin feel a little bit awkward as well, because any good doctor should be patient and gentle with their patients. Jin had been to some doctors in his youth that had made him feel nervous or bad for being scared, and Jin had vowed that he would never make anyone feel that way if he could do everything in his power to prevent it.

“No need to thank me, Kai, you are doing great,being so brave.” 

Kai’s head bowed a little lower and he took another deep breath. “Th-thank you. I think I’m ready now.”

Indeed, Kai’s body did seem a lot more relaxed. Jin stepped closer to the table and closer to him, keeping one hand on his lower back as he brought his other hand between his legs. Slowly, very slowly, Jin dragged his fingers along the inside of Kai’s cheek to introduce him to his touch. Kai trembled at the new sensation and Jin took a few deep breaths himself as he again felt unsure, but knew that the only thing he could do was trust himself and his intuition as he inched his fingers closer to Kai’s clenched hole, now spreading some of the lube from his fingertip onto the entrance and hearing Kai make a groaning sound from inside of his throat.

“Take a deep breath for me now, Kai” 

Jin instructed and the younger boy obeyed, pulling in a deep breath and Jin began to apply the slightest bit of pressure to the rim of his entrance. 

“Now, exhale, slowly.”

Again, Kai followed Jin’s guidance and let out the deep breath he had been holding. As Jin felt Kai’s body relax, his muscles softening as he exhaled, he slowly allowed his finger to breach the boys entrance for the first time. Kai gasped loudly as Jin slipped his digit inside, only the tiniest fraction before stopping, allowing him to adjust to the sensation for a moment.

“Are you alright?” Jin asked quietly. “You’re doing great.”

A tremble rippled through Kai’s body like a wave, but he nodded his head and spoke quietly in response to Jin. “I’m okay.”

Jin breathed in as he rubbed Kai’s lower back for a second before sliding more of his finger inside of him. His muscles were tight, clenched around his finger, but Kai was quiet and seemed to be doing okay. With the help of the lubricant, Jin was able to move his digit inside of Kai’s body and feel that there were no swellings or bumps along the walls of his rectum. 

“Okay, I’m going to feel your prostate… take a deep breath because it might feel a little… different.”  
Kai took one breath and then another, the paper beneath him crinkling as he adjusted a little bit to get comfortable, keeping his face buried in his arms but when Jin felt that he had relaxed a little more, he slid his finger towards the bumpy, spongy surface that was Kai’s prostate and kept his touch as gentle as he could. Nevertheless, Kai made a loud gasping, whimpering sound as Jin stimulated the area, ensuring that there were no abnormalities, but because it was so sensitive, Kai couldn’t help but squirm against the unfamiliar touch.

“Shh, it’s okay, almost done.” Jin whispered in a soothing voice, rubbing slow circles with his free hand against Kai’s lower back as his finger moved slowly over Kai’s prostate, to be thoroughly sure that it was normal and after just another moment, he was able to conclude that everything was fine. He let out a deep breath of relief as he carefully removed his finger and gave Kai’s lower back a gentle pat.

“All done.”

“Really?” 

Kai’s voice sounded surprised, but he wasted no time in sitting up, his hands rushing to cover his crotch and Jin turned away, sensing that the younger would appreciate a moment of privacy. It wasn’t abnormal for someone to respond in a certain way to that type of exam, due to the stimulation, and he wanted to spare Kai any embarrassment that might be felt if he realized that his doctor had noticed.

“Yep, you can get dressed in that little bathroom over there, if you want.”

Jin threw out the pair of gloves, listening to the sound of the paper crinkling again and of Kai’s socked feet hitting the floor. Padded footsteps and the sound of the door creaking open and then closed while Jin scribbled on the paperwork, filling in the rest of the spaces that had been left empty. It felt a little surreal that the exam was over already, and he still held a lot of admiration for the fact that Kai had been so brave and confident, given the circumstances. And if he were being honest, Jin felt proud of himself as well, for the fact that Kai seemed to have felt comfortable throughout what was anything but a pleasant procedure. After a few more moments of focus, Jin was finished writing and he put the papers away, tidying up his area as he waited for Kai to return from the bathroom. The door opened and he emerged, dressed again in his yellow hoodie and his hair neatened up. He gave the doctor a shy smile as he slipped his hands into his sweater pocket. 

“Is that everything?” Kai asked.

“Just one last thing.” Jin smiled and then reached for the bowl of candy, holding it out towards Kai. “Take two, you did especially well.”

Kai’s eyebrows raised as his eyes moved over the selection of treats, his lips curling into a smile as he scanned the variety without any of the guilt that Jimin had felt about indulging.

“Wow, Soobin definitely didn’t get chocolate from Doctor Wang.” Kai remarked as he plucked a package of m&m’s and a kitkat bar from the bowl and flashing Jin a playful smile, his confidence and his charisma fully restored. 

“I guess I’m not Doctor Wang.”

Kai chuckled quietly, his cheeks blushing as he opened up the kit-kat bar and looked back to Jin, his eyes sparkling with something almost mischievous as he took a nibble of the chocolate. 

“No, you are definitely not Doctor Wang…. You are much better… and not just because of the chocolate.” 

Jin felt as though all off the air had been pulled from his lungs, caught off guard by the compliment and curious as well, what exactly had Kai meant? 

“Wh-what?” Jin stuttered, feeling his cheeks burning a deep shade of scarlet.

Kai just shrugged, the playful smirk still stuck on his lips as he crossed the room to retrieve his book bag from the coat rack where he had hung it up.

“Thank you, doctor. I hope I’ll be seeing you again sometime.” 

Kai gave Jin a quick bow and then reached for the door before Jin could ask him anything else. Jin blinked, feeling the blush lingering on his cheeks as his mind raced with a hundred thoughts and deciding that even though he had only seen two patients, it felt like a long day, and he was looking forward to going home and relaxing, but he was already thinking about what the next day might bring. His job was anything but predictable.


	5. Office Hours - Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, Doctor Jin is just on his way out when Namjoon rushes into the office with an emergency that needs attention. This chapter also includes a little bit of backstory on our lovely main character, Jin <3

By the end of his first week, Jin felt as though he had been working for a month straight. It had been an exhausting five days of learning new routines, meeting new patients and figuring out the best way to find a parking spot in the crowded parking garage. But, it was a good kind of exhaustion, Jin thought to himself as he finished completing the paperwork from his last appointment of the day. Fortunately, all of his appointments had been pretty straight forward since his nervous and awkward encounter with Kai, but it was another patient who he found his mind travelling to, more often than not, Jimin. He wondered if his group had left for tour yet but what made him really curious, was what could have happened between him and Doctor Wang that had left him so nervous and uncomfortable? 

Throughout the week, Jin had wanted to ask someone - even Doctor Wang himself, about what had happened, but something always stopped him. The doctor himself was a little intimidating, Jin had been in the lunch room alone with him but every time he tried to find the words to begin the conversation, his mouth felt dry and his mind scattered with anxiety. Part of him wondered if it was really his business - especially during his first week. The last thing he wanted to do was look unprofessional and put his position in jeopardy. If it hadn’t been for the fact that Kai had seemed reluctant about the doctor as well, it might have been easier to dismiss, but Jin was having a hard time brushing off the worry that Doctor Wang was treating patients improperly. 

When Jin was finished with the last of his clerical duties for the day, he tidied up his little examination room before putting on his coat. Instinctively, his hand slid deep into the front left pocket for his personal cell phone. The clinic had given him a professional one that was to be kept on and charged at all times, though being called in after hours was rare, it was a possibility he had agreed to when he signed his contract. Having two phones felt clumsy and confusing to Jin, despite the fact that the newer one had hardly been used, unlike his personal one where he had a new text message from Youngjae waiting to be read. Still in his office, he opened up the inbox and began to read, feeling a smile creeping over his lips immediately as he thought of his best friend;

Youngjae: By the time you are reading this you are most likely done your last shift of the week - unless you are using your phone on the job - if so, naughty boy ;) But I was just wondering if you had plans tonight? 

Plans, no, not exactly, Jin thought to himself. Not anything beyond picking up some sort of takeout dinner and flopping onto his couch for a Netflix marathon. That was the extent of his plans for the evening, and honestly, he didn’t want to do a whole lot more than that. But nevertheless, he was immediately curious to know what his friend was hinting at, so he quickly wrote a response that no, he did not have plans. To his delight, Youngjae responded almost immediately.

Youngjae: Good. Keep your night open and meet me at home. I’m already there. 

Youngjae was inside his apartment. Jin felt his heart begin to pound. Of course, he had a key. He’d had it for almost a year and he had never used it unexpectedly, but Jin had lent it to him so many times to take care of his cat when he went to see his parents on weekends that it made more sense to just let Youngjae keep a copy of his own. Shit. Jin immediately felt his cheeks flush with blood at the realization that he hadn’t been expecting company and so there was … a personal item, that he had left in the shower. Fortunately, he and Youngjae were beyond close and there had been nothing that their conversations had never led to, including sex and their personal preferences. Still, knowing that Youngjae may see his blue butt plug sitting in the shower beside his bottle of strawberry body wash was enough to make him want to rush home before his friend had a chance to use the washroom. Just then, his phone buzzed in his hands again, another response from Youngjae. 

Youngjae: I hope you don’t mind. I just wanted to surprise you to congratulate you on your new job.

Jin felt his blush deepen, but now out of endearment instead of embarrassment. He felt so lucky to have a friend as caring as Youngjae, and it hadn’t been the first time he had been surprised or spoiled by him. Jin felt a little pang in his chest as he recalled the last time that Youngjae had surprised him had been after his most recent breakup. Which Jin realized with almost disbelief, had already been almost a year prior. It had felt like not long ago at all, he was crying over his ex-boyfriend, Min-joon. Min-joon hadn’t been his very first boyfriend, but he had certainly been his most serious relationship. Jin had always considered himself a late bloomer when it came to love. He had had a few girlfriends in high school, none of which lasted more than a month because he couldn’t figure out why he just didn’t have the same desire to take them to his bedroom the way his friends did with their girlfriends. It wasn’t that he was in denial of being gay, he had just never really thought about it being a possibility until his prom night. He had decided to go solo, as many of his friends had, he didn’t feel too left out - at least until one of the really slow songs came on, and he watched the couples swirling around. In the far corner, there was a couple he hadn’t noticed before - two boys. And he felt both curious - and strangely, envious - in a way he had never felt before. 

Jin had met Min-Joon during a University fundraising event where they wound up volunteering at the same table, selling raffle tickets. At first, Jin had felt intimidated by Min-Joon because he knew that he was also a player on the school’s very well known and very accomplished water polo team. But, after Min-joon had pulled out one chocolate bar, and then a second, sliding it across the table and towards Jin with a smile, he began to open up and once they began to talk, they couldn’t stop. Jin had never found anyone as interesting as he had Minnie, already adopting a nickname for the adorable boy in his mind before they had gone on a first date. Fortunately for Jin, Min-joon was equally infatuated and asked Jin to dinner the next night. After three dates, Min-joon asked Jin to be his boyfriend and of course, Jin said yes. 

Everything had happened so quickly after that. Jin had been with guys before Min-Joon, though he had never gone ‘all the way’. He’d wanted to save that one thing for a serious boyfriend and Min-joon had been the one. It had felt special, Min-joon had peppered gentle kisses across his jaw and whispered how much he loved him the first time he slid inside of him. It had hurt quite a bit, but all Jin had cared about was the fact that he was with Min-joon and he couldn’t have wanted anything else. Losing his virginity to Min-joon had felt significant to Jin, which is why it stung so much worse when just three weeks later, Jin caught the older boy cheating on him with the boy he had been studying with - the same one he had promised Jin so many times had a girlfriend and was anything but cute. Up until then, Jin had never felt his heart shatter the way it did that night. 

And it had been Youngjae that swooped in to pick him up, healing his heart with countless nights of cuddling on the couch watching movies and eating takeout. Youngjae had been the ear that had listened to Jin cry about the things he missed about Min-joon, over and over. Little by little, Jin felt better, stronger, and more and more, he felt his adoration for his friend grow. What began as a school friendship had grown into something that bordered on the edge of more than friendship, though they had never crossed physical boundaries, Jin felt a love for his friend in his heart that went beyond anything he had felt for a friend before. He wasn’t certain that Young-jae would push him away should he ever challenge those boundaries, but he didn’t want to risk it. Youngjae was his one constant, the one person who supported any crazy idea or desire he thought of and simply the one person that he always told everything to. And he had so much to tell him about his first week at his new job that all at once, Jin was really looking forward to his night with his best friend. Quickly, Jin typed a response to him that no, of course he didn’t mind - that he was excited and would see him soon. Cheeks stinging as he grinned, Jin reached for the door of his office to let himself out and locked it behind himself, saying a little goodbye to his new space until the next week. 

Just as he rounded the corner to the waiting room, he saw the main door fly open and in flew a tall boy with dark hair and long legs, a panicked expression on his face. Stumbling and tripping over his own feet, it was a miracle he made it to the desk where Katy, the receptionist sat, without knocking anything over. Jin stopped in his tracks, standing still with his hands clutching his shoulder bag as he took in the scene and felt his stomach knot up. Instinctively, he knew that you didn’t just run into a doctor’s office in such a panicked way if nothing was wrong. He also knew that he was the last doctor in the building, Doctor Wang and Doctor Choi had both left before Jin’s last patient had even arrived. Jin couldn’t quite make out what was being said at the desk so he decided to take a few steps closer, wondering if either of them knew he was there and if not, what would happen when he was noticed. 

“I’m sorry, all of the doctors are off duty.” Katy said with a frown. “The next appointment would be on Monday, nine AM with Doctor Wang. You could always go to the emergency…”

“You don’t understand. I need to see one of the agency doctors.” The boy said, his voice sounding thin with desperation.

“They have all signed out for the day, Namjoon, I’m sorry.” Katy said with a sigh. “There isn’t anything I can do.”

“Please. We leave later tonight for the tour and I need to see someone. Please.”

The boy, now Jin knew as Namjoon, sounded as though he were on the verge of crying. But wait, what was that about leaving on tour? Could Namjoon be a part of the same group as Jimin? Jin felt his heart pounding with excitement and his conscience flooding with guilt. Youngjae was at home waiting for him, but, surely he would understand that someone needed him. Namjoon was saying it was an emergency, after all. He could only hope that it wouldn’t take too long as he stepped into view of the desk and cleared his throat.

“I can see him.”

“Doctor Kim! I thought you had left!” Katy exclaimed, her pink lips parted in shock. 

“Can you really? Thank you so much.” Namjoon cut in, turning quickly in the direction of Jin and reaching for his hand.

Blinking, Jin shook Namjoon’s hand, feeling the younger boy give him a confident squeeze and looking towards his face to really take him in. Handsome, though unique features and dyed bleach blond hair with deep, adorable dimples that showed when he gave Jin a grateful smile.

“I can… why don’t you come back to my office?”

With nothing more than a quick nod, Jin was leading Namjoon down the hallway to the office. Despite the fact it felt a little unprofessional, Jin couldn’t help but reach into his coat pocket for his phone to type a very hasty “Will be late.” to Youngjae before putting the phone away, hoping that Namjoon wouldn’t be offended by him using it. Fortunately, the younger boy seemed to simply be grateful for the appointment as he gave Jin another wide smile as he stepped into the examination room.

“Let me just get changed.”

Jin said as he closed the door behind them, unbuttoning his coat and hanging it back up in the place he felt as though he had just taken it from. Still, he didn’t regret his decision to see Namjoon, he thought to himself as he tugged the sleeves of his white doctors coat over his blue dress shirt. After a few moments and a hand washing, Jin was ready, turning towards Namjoon who had already made himself comfortable on the examination table.

“So… Namjoon, tell me why you’re here.” Jin said, stepping closer to the table and looking towards the younger boys face, noticing the way his cheeks were beginning to turn a light shade of pink.

“Well…” He began. “I’m not sure how...I could have gotten it… but I think I have…” Namjoon paused, seeming to swallow and his eyes fell away from Jin’s as he hesitated, obviously embarrassed. “I think I have herpes.”

Jin felt his eyebrows raise, though he didn’t mean to look shocked and he instantly regretted it. He knew it was unprofessional to show that sort of reaction, but herpes was the last thing that he had expected Namjoon to come to him about. Taking a deep breath, Jin hoped that his patient had noticed his reaction. Sensing that Namjoon was growing increasingly anxious, Jin decided to speak in his most gentle voice, hoping that he could alleviate some of his anxiety. 

“What makes you think it’s that, Namjoon?” 

“I… I found a bump down… there.” 

Namjoon blushed deeply as his eyes fell downwards, gesturing that the bump in question was indeed between his legs. Jin shifted his weight a little bit, adjusting his body so that his hip was leaning against the table a little bit. He was close enough to Namjoon that he could speak softly, but not so close as to crowd him. 

“Let me ask you a few questions.” 

Namjoon nodded, squirming but seeming eager to respond, so Jin dove right in.

“Have you had any unprotected sex?” 

Namjoon’s eyebrows shot up. “Intercourse? N-no.” He shook his head quickly. “I… have only had two partners and we always used condoms… and that was a long time ago. The agency doesn’t let us date.”

Jin nodded, absorbing his response. He had known that the agencies were strict about the rules that they had for their talent. Still, besides dating, Jin knew as well as anyone else that there were other ways to have sex besides within a comitted relationship. 

“How about oral sex?”

Again, Namjoon shook his head. “Honestly, nothing sexual… but…” Namjoon fidgeted with his hands as he paused. “But, I shared someone’s water bottle. Could that have done it?”

Jin shook his head and gave the boy a gentle smile. “Fortunately, no… not likely at least, Namjoon. I don’t think you have herpes, but, if you want, I can take a look at this bump and see what’s up.”

Namjoon let out a sigh, his shoulders falling and his thick lips falling into a relaxed smile. “I’m relieved that you don’t think it’s herpes… but yeah, I guess it’s better we found out,”

“Does it hurt?” Jin asked, turning around and reaching into the drawer at his desk for a fresh pair of gloves. “Can you take off your pants and underwear for me?”

Namjoon seemed to freeze, his smile fading a little as his cheeks turned a darker shade of scarlet red. “Right, I’ll have to get naked for you.”

“Well, yes.” Jin smiled, pulling the gloves on with a snapping sound. “Just for a quick look.”

“Of course.”

Namjoon responded, and Jin could tell from his tone that he was trying to sound brave but he didn’t miss the tremble in his hands as he reached for the button on his light coloured skinny jeans. 

“So, does that bump hurt?” Jin asked again, as he sat down on the little stool on wheels and rolled around to the far side of the table, pulling out the pair of stirrups that would allow him to get a really close look at Namjoon.

“If I touch it, a little.” Namjoon admitted as he finished tugging his jeans off and then slipped his hands into his boxer briefs. “Do.. we have to use… those things?” His eyes wandered up and down the length of the stirrups as the blush deepened on his cheeks. 

Jin gave him a shy smile. “I know it’s a bit weird, but it will make it easier for me.” He explained as he reached up to turn on the light above him that cast them in a bright glow. “When you’re ready, shuffle down to the end of the table and put your feet up.” 

With a sigh, Namjoon obliged to Jin’s request and Jin was thankful for his co-operation. Truthfully, he didn’t want to be here all night trying to ease him into this semi-awkward procedure when his best friend was waiting at home. Understandably, nobody wanted to be naked in front of their doctor, but it had been Namjoon that had rushed in after hours, and Jin could tell that the younger boy was grateful for his help and would probably do whatever the doctor asked of him. As Namjoon slid his second foot into the stirrup, he leaned back against the bed and closed his eyes, letting out a deep breath.

“Well, this is more than a bit embarrassing.” 

“I’ll be gentle - and quick.” Jin added, adjusting the light and rolling the stool closer to the table, between Namjoon’s legs.

Surely, he’d feel a little embarrassed if he were in the same position, thighs spread and body fully exposed. 

“I’m just going to use my hands to feel around, okay? Where exactly is it, Namjoon?” Jin asked, wanting to know where he should be looking to avoid any excessive touching if he could help it, anything he could do to try and make this as easy as he could for Namjoon.

“It’s on the right testicle.” Namjoon replied, his voice trembling just the slightest.

“Alright, try and relax, I’m just going to take a closer look.” 

Jin said softly as he reached out, fingers trailing over Namjoon’s thigh briefly before reaching out and lifting up his soft, flaccid cock to expose his testlcles. Immediately, Jin noticed that Namjoon had removed quite a bit of the hair and his skin seemed a little red and irritated. One particular area, looked especially red, and upon closer inspection there was an angry little red bump which Jin was sure was the subject of the visit. An ingrown hair. Jin allowed his hands to fall away and slid the stool back a little bit.

“Excuse me for the personal question, but were you shaving down here?”

“Um… yes.” Namjoon admitted.

“Ah… yeah, well, good news, you don’t have herpes.” Jin said, pulling off his gloves.

“Wait, are you done already?” Namjoon asked, sitting up quickly and watching Jin as he stood up and crossed the room, throwing the gloves into his garbage can.

“I am.” Jin laughed quietly, not wanting to make Namjoon feel silly, but instead at ease. He had been worked up and panicked for nothing, his bump was nothing serious at all. “That bump is just an ingrown hair. It can happen when you are shaving, or with any kind of hair removal, really… but if you are going to try and remove the hair there, I suggest using a good shaving cream or getting it waxed.”

“Waxed.” Namjoon quivered dramatically and shook his head. “No thanks. But, this hurts too. Is there anything I can do?”

Jin nodded, he had a steroid cream in the supply room that he could give him that would take away the inflammation. “I have a cream I can give you, and you can also apply a warm cloth to the area.” Jin felt himself blushing a little as he gave Namjoon a shy smile.

Namjoon let out a heavy sigh as he reached for his underwear and jeans. “Well, that’s a relief. Thank you, Doctor.”

Jin smiled, truthfully, he was grateful as well that the examination had been so brief and that it hadn’t really been an emergency after all. Not only was Namjoon healthy and without serious ailment, he could get home sooner than later to his friend. 

“I’ll go get that cream from the supply room while you get dressed, okay? I’ll knock before I come back in.”

Namjoon nodded. “Sure, thanks again.”

Quickly, Jin let himself out of the examination room and made his way down the hall to the supply room. Fortunately for him, the room was well organized and it didn’t take too long for the doctor to locate the tube of medicine that he needed. Finding a small white envelope and label, he tucked the tube inside and used the pen from his coat pocket to write instructions to apply the cream twice a day, until no longer needed. Once the envelope was sealed up and the label affixed, Jin made his way back to the examination room, knocking on the door as promised. From inside, Namjoon called out;

“Come in.”

Pushing the door open, Jin stepped inside and gave Namjoon a smile. The younger boy was still sitting on the table but was now fully dressed in his jeans and looking much more at ease than he had before.

“Here you go, just apply this twice a day.”

“Thanks again, Doctor… I really appreciate you taking the time to see me after hours.” 

Namjoon spoke with sincerity and Jin felt his stomach flutter, not in an anxious way, but in a warm, butterfly like way. There was something charismatic about his patient, he could sense that the boy in front of him was a natural leader and someone that his peers looked up to. There was just that sort of quiet strength to him. 

“Oh, it’s no problem, Namjoon. I hope you guys are going on tour. Can I ask, are you touring with Jimin?” 

Jin hoped that it wasn’t too unprofessional of a question, hoped that Namjoon wouldn’t find it weird that he was asking about Jimin. Truthfully, he wasn’t sure why he even was himself, but the words were out before he had even thought to speak them. He just couldn’t help it. 

“Oh!” Namjoon’s face lit up in an excited smile. “I am! I should have mentioned it sooner. He actually mentioned me to you.”

“What?” Jin felt his heartbeat quicken. “Why?”

Namjoon laughed quietly. “You look scared. You shouldn’t be. He said you were the best doctor that he’s ever had.”

Jin blushed deeply at that, sure that his entire face to the tips of his ears were red, but it didn’t matter. Jimin had been so scared and the fact that Jin had made him feel comfortable enough to tell Namjoon that he was the best meant a lot. 

“That’s really sweet.” Jin said, still blushing and well aware that he had to take control of himself nad the situation. He couldn’t be blushing over one of his patients, he certainly couldn’t give Namjoon the idea that he was spending any excessive time thinking about his patients - particularly Jimin. He certainly hadn’t been in tending to,and yet for some reason, his mind just kept wandering to him. “But uh, I should get going.”

“Yes, of course. Thank you again, Doctor.” Namjoon said, his tone cool, collected and in every way the polar opposite of how Jin was feeling as he watched the younger boy slider down from the examination table and straighten his clothes as he stood up.

“Have a good time on the tour…” Jin started, feeling his heart beating with a nervousness that he wished he could shake. “Don’t break a leg because you might have to come see me.”

Jin immediately regretted the corny joke, but Namjoon laughed heartily.

“I don’t think I’d mind coming back.” 

Jin opened his mouth to respond but remained silent as the blush burned deeper on his cheeks and watching helplessly as Namjoon crossed the room, opening the door and slipping out of the room without another word leaving Jin alone to digest what had just happened. After a few moments, Jin had collected himself and stood up, crossing the room to hang up his doctor's coat and reach instead for his other coat, the one with his cellphone so that he could send a message to his friend. He felt guilty, as he pulled it out and turned the device on, knowing that his friend was waiting for him. It wasn’t as though he’d even known about the plans until roughly an hour prior but he appreciated the effort that his friend had put in. Quickly, he opened up his messages.

Youngjae: … Hope you are OK… Message me when you are on your way I guess?

Jin felt his stomach knot up, he hadn’t meant to worry Youngjae, he just hadn;t had time to properly explain. He typed out that he had had to see a patient for an emergency that wasn’t an emergency, and he was on his way now, could he pick anything up? After just a moment or two, the phone buzzed in Jin’s hands and he was able to read his friends response.

Youngjae: No need, everything here, just need you. See you soon.

Jin smiled as he slid the phone back in his coat pocket. He locked up the exam room for a second time and made his way out of the medical building, feeling grateful as he walked into the evening sunset for not only for best friend waiting at home but for his new job as well. Life was finally good.


	6. Office Hours - Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is an 'out of office' chapter to break things up a little bit! :) I was pretty nervous writing this one, in it's own way, so please be kind. If you don't like it, don['t be hateful, just move on.

Jin drove through the thick traffic of Seoul, feeling his desire to be home increasing with each red light he seemed to get stuck at. Reaching for the dial to turn up the music, his car filled with sound and Jin allowed himself to sink deeper into the leather of the seat, relaxing just enough to enjoy the song a bit more and think a little less about how long his commute felt. As he passed a familiar coffee shop, Jin considered stopping, at the request of the heavy fatigue that was beginning to settle over him, but a larger part of him wanted to see Youngjae, so he drove on. When finally he arrived home, he parked in his assigned place in the underground garage and took the lift up. Jin lived on the twenty first floor and his eyes watched the numbers as they illuminated, one after another, until they stopped and the doors swung open with a chiming sound. 

Jin felt exhausted, not only physically, but mentally, as well. His first five days had felt like some of the longest he had ever worked, but it was a satisfying kind of tired because he knew he had absorbed and learned so much that it would take a robot not to feel affected by it. Admittedly, he had gone into the job with certain expectations about his patients, and while some of them had rung true, there were many more personalities that were not at all what he could have guessed. Yes, some of his patients had spent their entire appointment absorbed in their phone with Jin being more or less, an afterthought. Somehow, out of all of the people he’d met, he couldn’t stop thinking about Jimin and what had made him so nervous. Jin made his way down the long hall of the building, feeling his sense of excitement melting into one of panic as he began to smell smoke. The sensation of dread only increased when Jin came to a pause at his door and realized the smoky smell was even stronger. Hands trembling, it took a moment longer than usual to unlock the door and as soon as he stepped in, he called for his friend, seeing the inky smoke and growing worried for his safety. 

“Youngjae?” 

“I’m sorry Jin Hyung!” 

Youngjae exclaimed as he ran across the den attached to the kitchen and opened up the large window. Making his way to the kitchen, Jin reached for a tea towel from the counter and began to fan the smoke towards the open window. Meanwhile, Youngjae flirted back to the kitchen and reached into the oven, producing something charred beyond recognition with the saddest expression on his face. Immediately, all of Jin’s panic and frustration turned to sympathy because Youngjae looked to be on the brink of tears. 

“Jae, what happened?” 

Jin asked in a quiet, easy tone as he sauntered over to his friend, still pouting beside the ruined pan. Youngjae was quiet, but, surveying the scene, it didn’t take long for Jin to paint himself a picture of what had happened. 

“I’m so sorry, I ruined you-“ 

“Shh.” Jin cut him off as he shook his head and looped an arm around his tense shoulders. “It’s just a pan. I’ll get another.” 

Youngjae still pouted, but, his shoulders loosened up a little as Jin gave him a little side hug. 

“I just wanted to surprise you.” He whispered.

“You did.” Jin countered. “I was surprised.” He couldn’t help it as a smirk stretched across his lips. 

“Not in the same way.” Youngjae argued. “I wanted to celebrate your new job with you.” 

“So, let’s celebrate it.” Jin pressed, hoping that Youngjae would just relax. 

With all the smoke billowed out through the open window and the smell of a freshly lit candle covering the aroma of charred meat, it was easy to forget what had happened. Jin had learned a long time prior to not hold onto anything negative for too long. A younger version of himself would have felt really frustrated that his expensive pan was ruined, but, in the present moment, Jin could only see the kindness his friend had showed to think to make him dinner in the first place. Being angry at Youngjae about the pan certainly wouldn’t erase the damage, but it would surely wound their friendship. Something much more precious to him than any high end cookware. 

Forty five minutes later, the sound of the doorbell signalled that their take out had arrived and Youngjae went to the door, insisting that paying for the order was the least he could do. Jin had already talked him out of replacing the pan and he felt a little guilty about his friend paying for a second meal after having bought groceries, but, the rumbling in his stomach distracted him as Youngjae appeared again, bags in hand. 

“So,” Youngjae started as he began opening up the boxes they had filled the coffee table with. “Tell me all about your first week.” 

Around mouthfuls of food, Jin began at the beginning. Youngjae listened with his full attention as Jin told him about Jimin, first, how he had been the most nervous patient - besides small children - over his vaccinations. He skipped over the part about Doctor Wang initially, not wanting to mar the canvas he was painting with any negativity too quickly. When Jin told Youngjae about the bowl of chocolates, his friend laughed. 

“I gave you that idea.” 

“I learned from the best.” 

Jin countered, smiling affectionately at his friend. It was true, Youngjae had been the first to stock his own office with a bowl of candy. Jin felt lucky to have a friend who was able to understand and empathize so easily, the conversation. Youngjae was a new doctor himself, though his work was much different than Jin’s. Youngjae worked in a medical building in a suburb with a lower economy outside of Seoul. Though they performed similar duties, their patients were a sharp contrast. Jin treated idols and celebrities, Youngjae’s patients were anything but. The conversation meandered as the two friends shared stories, with Jin doing more of the talking, as usual, until suddenly Youngjae looked startled, pausing around a bite of noodles to look towards Jin;

“Hey, did you say that you were working with patients from Big Hit?” 

“I did.”

Jin said, reaching for his bottle of Coke and taking a long sip as he watched Youngjae’s expression change, his lips pursing themselves in a tight line and his eyes shifting to the floor. Something was wrong, but Jin couldn’t tell what it was, the mood had shifted so quickly. 

“Remember my cousin, Soobin? He’s a trainee with a group called TXT… signed to Big Hit.” 

Jin’s stomach felt as though it was on an elevator car that had lost control and was plunging to the earth. When Kai had mentioned Soobin, his brain had never made the link that it could be Youngjae’s cousin. Of course, he wasn’t in the habit of thinking of his friends family members at any great extent, but he still felt a song of guilt for missing the connection. Beyond his forgetfulness, there had been the fact that he hadn’t treated Soobin, himself. Doctor Wang had. Jin looked quickly to Youngjae, the sudden paleness of his friends complexion, his wide eyes, promised Jin that Youngjae knew something that he didn’t. A sudden rush of nausea made Jin wonder if he should run to the bathroom, but his body felt frozen in place. He started to part his lips but Youngjae cleared his throat, locking his gaze on Jin’s.

“Do you work with someone named Doctor Wang?” 

Jin nodded, unsure if he trusted his voice to offer anything more than a squeak because it felt as though all the air had been pulled from his lungs at once. All week, he had felt nervous about exactly this and the last thing he expected was for his own friend to know about the situation. Of course, Soobin, and again, Jin felt guilty for having missed the connection. 

“Soobin saw Doctor Wang.” Youngjae said, his body shifting on the couch and looking away from Jin, finally. “For his physical, last week.”

“I… I knew that, actually.” Jin admitted, feeling his cheeks burning as Youngjae’s eyes dashed back up, looking at him, obviously surprised by Jin’s confession. “I mean, I saw one of his bandmates and he had mentioned Soobin. I didn’t initially realize he was your Soobin, though… if I had, I of course would have told you. I feel pretty dumb.” Jin laughed, feeling the nervousness rising within his chest again with the worry that his best friend would be insulted that he hadn’t recognized his cousin’s name. In his defense, he had only learned his first name, earlier in the week. Still, Jin worried, because it was what Jin tended to do. 

“Don’t be silly, you can’t remember everything.” Youngjae gave him a soft smile and reached over, placing his hand on Jin’s thigh. 

The gesture was friendly, and yet still, a warm tingle spread within Jin that he knew shouldn’t. If he was honest, he’d admit that he found Youngjae absolutely adorable, with his kind eyes and soft looking lips, smooth skin and hair that always smelled like apples. But, he was his best friend, and the affection between them had only ever been friendly. And that was more than enough for Jin, who was thankful to have a friend like Jae in his life. After a moment, Youngjae moved his hand and Jin forced himself back into the reality of the moment and the gravity of the conversation as he watched the smile fade from Youngjae’s mouth.

“As awkward as it would have been to know you saw my cousin naked… I kind of wish it had been you that saw him.”

“I was worried you were going to say something like that.” Jin admitted. “Thing is, some of my patients mentioned things that…. Made it sound like Doctor Wang wasn’t…” Jin’s voice faded away as he realized that he really didn’t know more about the situation beyond the fact that Jimin and Kai both showed obvious relief to be seeing him instead of the older doctor. Hoseok had mentioned that something had happened with Jimin and Doctor Wang that had made him nervous, but, as any good friend, Hoseok hadn’t revealed exactly what happened. Jin felt his stomach churn, knowing that he was probably about to find out something that he didn’t want to know. But that he needed to know. 

“Youngjae, what happened with Soobin?” 

Youngjae seemed much more nervous, having been put on the spot, but Jin could tell as they held each others stare that he was going to tell him what he knew. Jin took a deep breath, wanting to slide a little closer to his friend, but staying still.

“Well, I don’t think anyone likes to get that kind of exam… I know I don’t even like giving them.” A nervous smile flashed across Youngjae’s lips for a quick second and then faded again. “But, can I ask you, something…. Jin…. I only ever use one finger, so do you, right?” 

“Right, only one.” Jin nodded quickly, feeling his heart begin to pound faster in his chest. 

His thoughts had wandered in every direction throughout the week as he had thought about just what Doctor Wang could have done to scare Jimin and make Soobin uncomfortable, as well. Jin had considered so many scenarios, including what Youngjae was alluding to just then, and yet it didn’t soften the blow. It made him nauseous to imagine that if his assumption was correct, Doctor Wang had made them unnecessarily uncomfortable - and beyond that, he had probably only done it because he enjoyed it - enjoyed the discomfort it caused his patients. 

“Soobin said that Doctor Wang used two fingers and even tried to use three… but Soobin was too uncomfortable and finally, he stopped.” Youngjae let out a deep sigh. “Soobin cried when he told me. It was horrible.” 

Jin was at a loss. Part of him wanted to wrap Youngjae in a hug, another part of him wanted to throw up. An even larger part of him was angry, angry at the fact that someone who was considered his superior was behaving so inappropriately. And how many times had it happened? There were too many questions to process at once and it felt as though he were standing in the middle of a freeway with thoughts racing like cars all around him, travelling in every direction. 

“I don’t know what to say.” Jin finally said into the otherwise silent room. 

Youngjae was quiet for a moment but then sat forward, reaching for his drink and taking a long swallow. “I just can’t believe you work in the same place. Small world.”

Jin nodded. “I wish it were under better circumstances.” 

Youngjae gave Jin a soft smile, Jin could tell that his friend was trying, despite everything, to be the optimist. As he tended to be. 

“On the bright side, Jin-hyung… I’ll tell Soobin to request only you, from now on. I know it’ll be kind of weird since he’s my cousin… but…”

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure I can do everything I can to ensure he doesn’t see Doctor Wang again.”

Jin knew that it wasn’t really enough, but he truly didn’t know what he could do. It wasn’t so straightforward as it should be to accuse anyone of improper practice. It was a long process. They’d touched on it only briefly in medical school but Jin had hoped that it would be something that would be kept in the back of his mind, he had never expected that he would be faced with it so quickly. 

“We have to do something.” Youngjae said finally.

“We will.” Jin nodded. “We’ll find a way.”

The room was quiet again and after several long moments of silence, the sound of a familiar Black Pink song filled the room and Youngjae jumped, reaching for his phone. 

“Sorry.” Youngjae said, reaching for his phone but instead of answering it, he sent it to voicemail. 

Jin frowned. “You could have answered it. Who was it?”

Youngjae was blushing, but staring at his screen, fingers moving furiously as he typed a quick text to who Jin could only assume was the same person who had called him. A flicker of curiosity began to nip at him. 

“No one.” Youngjae answered quickly. Too quickly, and the curiosity nipped at Jin again.

Smirking, he gave Youngjae a playful shove. “Bullshit, who is it, Choi?”

Youngjae laughed and rolled his eyes, tossing the phone onto the couch beside him and raising his hands in mock defeat. “Fine, nothing gets past you, Kim.”

Jin grinned and reached for his fork, taking a big bite of dinner. “Spill. Who is he?” 

At first, Jin was thankful for the distraction from the gravity of the previous conversation as Youngjae rambled on about his new boyfriend, Ye-Seung. They’d met by chance on one of his lunch breaks, Ye-Seung was a violin teacher at an arts high school and had taken Youngjae to a jazz club on their first date. As Youngjae continued, Jin focused less on his friends words and more on his food, truly wanting to be happy for Jae, who deserved all of this wonderful attention and affection. Despite his best efforts, the burn of jealousy chased every statement that his friend made, each and every confession making Jin regret the change in conversation a little more. 

“We just need to find you a cute boy, now.” Youngjae concluded.

Jin gave him a weak smile. “Easier said than done.”

“Do you have Gindr?” Youngjae asked, taking another sip of his drink. 

Jin wrinkled his nose. “Isn’t that just for hook-ups?”

Youngjae shrugged. “Yes and no. But there are other ones, too. Do you not have any?”

Jin blushed, shaking his head no. Truthfully, he had given some thought to apps like Grindr before. It certainly seemed an easy way to find someone to hook up with, but, hooking up wasn’t the only thing he wanted. And besides that, he was a little shy. Most of the guys on those apps posted pictures of their abs and selfies in the gym, a place that Jin couldn’t remember the last time he’d been to. He’d never had a membership, that was certain, but his friends had dragged him a time or two, trying to encourage him to pick up the habit. He never had, and he couldn’t help but wonder if it was a mistake, would dating be easier if he had a body like that? 

“I think you should start there.” Youngjae said casually, ignoring the fact that Jin was obviously embarrassed and reaching for his phone from the coffee table. “Here, download it now. I’ll help you set up your profile”

“N-no it’s okay.” Jin tried to argue, shaking his head and taking his phone from Youngjae.  
Youngjae reached out and gave him a playful shove. “What do you have to lose? Come on.”

Jin rolled his eyes and let out a long sigh. Youngjae had a point. “Fine. But you have to help me!”

“Deal.” Youngjae grinned, looking way too excited in a way that made Jin wonder just what he was getting into.


	7. Office Hours - Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jin enters the world of online dating and meets a new patient, Choi Yeonjun.

Jin found himself sitting straight up in bed, heart racing and body drenched in a thin layer of sweat. A nightmare that he couldn’t quite remember, beyond falling off of something very high, and that was enough to make Jin feel dizzy all over again. At first, he tried to settle back down under his thick duvet, turning his pillow over and over again, hoping that if he could just make it comfortable enough, sleep would make itself welcome. But, after what felt like an hour, Jin decided to just get up, glancing at the clock and seeing that it was just after five in the morning, anyway. In another hour and a half, he’d be up to get ready for work, anyway. 

In the kitchen, Jin’s hands moved quickly out of muscle memory, scooping coffee beans into his grinder and then pouring the ground coffee into a filter in his machine. He pressed the required buttons and then went into his cupboard, finding his favourite mug and setting it down on the counter. Stifling a yawn, Jin reached for his phone and noticed an unfamiliar notification amongst the others. After a moment or two he realized that it was from the dating app,Grindr, that Youngjae had helped him install. Truthfully, beyond the three glasses of wine it had taken to set up a profile, Jin hadn’t given it any further thought. For some reason he felt shy to browse the profiles, worried that everyone would be out of his league or just plain weird. But there was a new message waiting from a user named “AllThePepero” and Jin decided that at first impression, that didn’t sound too weird. His stomach churned as he waited for the coffee to brew, the warm aroma was beginning to fill the kitchen but it had only just begun to drip into the pot. 

Jin chewed on his lip, unsure of why he felt so nervous when he could just ignore the message and never have to see what this apparent fan of Pepero biscuit sticks wanted from him. He set the phone down and turned his attention to the dishwasher instead, remembering that he had finished a load the night before but hadn’t put it away. He was only through half of the first rack when he found himself reaching for his phone. He really wanted to know. Jin couldn’t stop the reel of thoughts about who this mystery person might be, nor could he stop the tremble in his fingers as he fumbled his way through opening the app. As it took it’s time loading, his heart only pounded faster, feeling jittery in a way he hadn’t in so long. Finally, his inbox loaded and he opened the messages. All at once, his hopes turned to disappointment as he read the message with a scowl.

AllThePepero: Hey cutie ;) Got any pics that show a little more skin…? ;)

Jin frowned, this was exactly the kind of message that he told Youngjae that he didn’t want to get. He knew that it was somewhat inevitable, because a lot of the people using Grindr were using it strictly to hook up, but, Youngjae had insisted that there was more to it. Jin supposed he should feel somewhat flattered that someone had wanted to see … more … of him, but he didn’t have those kind of pictures and he wasn’t about to take them. He’d agonized over the four pictures he had selected for his profile, not without Youngjae’s guidance, of course. Closing the app, Jin slipped his phone into the pocket of his robe and reached for his coffee mug, thankful that the coffee was finished brewing. After pouring himself a mugful, he decided to carry the steaming drink out onto the balcony, sinking down into his deck chair as the sun slowly crept up over the city of Seoul. 

The morning air was brisk, but the coffee was hot, and Jin sipped it quickly as his eyes floated across the city skyline. He had been living in this apartment for the last two years and he had never stopped appreciating the view. Before long, his mind wandered to work, thinking about the schedule that he had been sent. There was nothing too out of the ordinary, two prescription refills and an appointment to take a look at some stitches and be sure that they were healing properly. Jin couldn’t help but realize that he already felt so adjusted to his new workplace, that this morning was such a contrast to Monday morning just a week earlier, when he had been so afraid of the unknown. Just then, Jin’s phone chirped from inside of his pocket and he stirred, reaching for it and pulling it out to find another notification from Grindr. Yet another new message, this time from a user with the name “OutsidetheBox”. Jin decided to open it, this time without the tremble in his fingers or the flutter in his stomach. He decided that if this second message was as awful as the first, he’d delete the app and that would be the end of it. He’d tried.

OutsidetheBox: Good morning, are you an early bird or a night owl?

Jin blinked. An innocent enough question, and from the tiny thumbnail of a picture, he could tell from “OutsidetheBox”s oversized glasses that he was pretty adorable. The flutter was back, albeit reserved as Jin decided to peruse the senders profile before sending a response. Six pictures loaded, in all of which, OutsidetheBox was fully clothed. There was one at his desk, where Jin read he worked as a graphic designer. Another with some friends at Karaoke, another at a barbecue restaurant. Jin quickly read over the information in the profile, not learning too much beyond his career and that he really liked barbecue, but he definitely didn’t seem as creepy as Jin had worried. He’d thought the same about Pepero boy, he thought to himself, but he could only hope that this time he was correct as he decided to tempt fate by responding to the message. 

TheDoctorisJin: I guess I am an early bird, I woke up too early for work. How about you? I’m Jin. 

Jin sent the response and then read it over, frowning to himself as he realized that his username probably made his name obvious. He hoped that OutsidetheBox wouldn’t think he was dumb for introducing himself anyway. Jin finished the last mouthful of coffee and then slipped inside to refill the mug, noting from the time on the oven that he still had plenty of time before he had to get into the shower and get ready for work. Settling back into his chair, Jin smiled when he heard his phone chirp, and sure enough, the message that he had been hoping to see was waiting for him.

OutsidetheBox: Nice to meet you, Jin, I’m Colin. I’ve been up all night working on a project for a client. So, Jin, tell me three things about yourself that you left out of your profile. 

Jin stared at the message for a moment, re-reading it to himself. Colin. He had a North American sounding name and Jin couldn’t help but feel curious about this cute boy with dark hair and big glasses who seemed so down to earth… and normal. Colin seemed interesting, too, though Jin knew nothing about graphic design, a creative career seemed so different than his work, and though Colin seemed opposite him in some ways, he seemed friendly and gentle natured, his profile made him seem a little nerdy if anything. Which was fine by Jin, who was a dork at heart himself, with his extensive manga collection and affection for Pokemon. Best of all, he hadn’t even seemed to notice that Jin had introduced himself needlessly. Or he hadn’t said anything, at least. Now, if only he could think of three things to tell Colin about himself. Jin chewed on his lip as his knee bobbled restlessly, as though it was trying to stir up some creative thoughts for him. After what felt like forever, Jin fumbled his way through a response, deciding that it was the best he was going to do at - he checked the time - six forty three in the morning, and almost his deadline to get ready for work. He wanted to be candid, witty enough to get Colin’s attention, but not so candid that he revealed something offputting. No pressure. 

TheDoctorisJin: That’s a loaded question for this time of day, we can’t all be creative before the sun is up, after all. I hope you are prepared to answer the same thing back, but don’t be too critical of my answers, you asked, after all :P I have to get ready for work after this, but thanks for the message and I look forward to your response. :) 

I love food, I tell my mother I am thankful she gave me life so I can eat. I like to cook elaborate meals but I also like egg salad sandwiches from seven-eleven at all hours and movie theater popcorn, too.   
When I was a kid, I was obsessed with collecting erasers. I had over four hundred.  
I am deathly afraid of insects, especially grasshoppers. Nothing that small should be able to jump that high.

Regretfully, Jin picked up his mug and went back inside, placing the empty cup in the sink before heading to the bathroom where he shed his robe and stepped into the shower, a content smirk on his lips as he thought about what Colin might respond to him with. The flutter of butterflies was back as he washed his hair, breathing in the scent of his apple shampoo and looking forward to the day, wondering how long it would take before he received another notification from the app. To his disappointment, there was no new notification when he was done with his shower, and still not after he was through brushing his teeth and shaving. Jin hurried through a breakfast of toast and peanut butter, unable to resist checking his phone every few moments for a notification that he missed, but unfortunately, by the time his toast was reduced to crumbs, Colin hadn’t sent a response and it was time to leave for work. 

Fortunately for Jin, his thoughts about the dating app and the mysterious Colin found welcome distraction as work. He’d barely stepped into the waiting room when Katy was standing up, clutching a file and looking worried. 

“Good morning, Doctor Kim, can we talk?” 

“Of course.” Jin responded, adjusting his shoulder bag and leaning against the counter. “Why do you seem so stressed out?” 

“There’s been a last minute appointment scheduled, and the patient has specifically requested you. I know you have your daily schedule but would you mind terribly seeing Choi Yeonjun at eleven, after your first patient?” 

Katy’s words travelled quickly through the air and though Jin absorbed them, he still didn’t understand the panic displayed by the usually calm receptionist. 

“Of course, that’s no problem. Is that all?” Jin shrugged, not at all bothered by an additional patient and if anything, a little bit flattered that this Yeonjun had requested him specifically. “Is there something I should know?” He added. 

“That’s all, thank you for being so flexible. Not everyone on our team is so agreeable… Here’s his file, he’s just coming in because he has a sore throat.” Katy passed him the cream coloured folder she had been holding and smiled sweetly as she sat down at her desk, her dark eyes turning their attention back towards the computer monitor. Jin took the file and smiled back at her before adjusting his bag on his shoulder again and making his way down the hall in the direction of his office. 

Jin’s first appointment was a simple refill change and despite the patient being ten minutes late, he still found himself wandering out to the waiting room at a quarter to eleven. He had noticed that Yeonjun was both from BigHit and TXT so he had assumed that Kai had probably recommended him. Perhaps even Jimin, Hoseok or Namjoon. Admittedly, he was curious to know but certainly wouldn’t be asking. The waiting room was empty, so Jin sunk into one of the chairs and flipped through a magazine about interior design, turning the pages and eyes scanning the content but not really taking anything in. 

A few minutes later, the door swung open and in walked a boy with dyed turquoise hair and a sweet looking expression. Jin looked up from the magazine and set it down, watching as the boy took no notice of him and walked right up to the desk to check in. Katy glanced over in Jin’s direction and then said something to the boy who turned just seconds later, a shy smile and he lifted his hand in the tiniest wave. Jin smiled as he stood up, fighting the temptation to acknowledge how cute his patient was. 

“I’m Doctor Kim Seokjin. You can call me Doctor Jin.” Jin stuck his hand out and Yeonjun took it right away, shaking it with more confidence than he had truthfully expected.

“Thanks for taking me on short notice.” Yeonjun said, his eyes wandering away from Jin’s for a moment and then back. “My throat has been so sore.”

“No trouble at all, Yeonjun. Let’s go back to my office and we’ll take a look, okay?” Jin reached out, his fingers brushing over Yeunjun’s elbow for just a moment before he drew his hand back, realizing that it really wasn’t appropriate to touch Yeonjun, there was just something about the apparent sweetness of him that made the doctor want to take care of him. Fortunately, Yeonjun didn’t seem offended by the touch, giving the doctor a broad smile that made his eyes crinkle and then following him down the hall. 

Jin opened the door to his office, allowing Yeonjun to enter first and then following him inside. 

“You can hop up onto the table and get comfy.” Jin said in a light tone as he crossed the room, washing his hands quickly and then putting on a fresh pair of gloves. 

Behind him, the paper on the table crinkled as Yeonjun pulled himself up and when Jin turned around he decided that the confident seeming boy seemed a little nervous, perhaps, as he fidgeted with a loose string on his pants. Jin picked up the small light he’d use to examine his throat and then sauntered over towards the table.

“So, how long has your throat been sore?” Jin asked, stepping up to the table, close but not too close to Yeonjun.

“Just since yesterday, but it felt a lot worse this morning which is why I wanted to come in so quickly.” Yeonjun explained.

Jin nodded. “Good thinking, if it’s okay with you, I’ll take a quick look at your throat to start.”

Yeonjun fidgeted a little more but nodded, opening his mouth obediently and waiting. Jin leaned forward, shining his light inside of the younger boys mouth and into his throat. Curiously, there was absolutely no swelling or redness to be found, but sometimes in the early stages these things were pretty minimal. He spent another moment looking, just to be sure he wasn’t missing something near his tonsils and adenoids, or anywhere else, but Jin found that nothing seemed amiss at all. Perhaps, he was running a fever which would signal some infection starting elsewhere. Jin decided that he’d take his temperature next.

“Well, the good news is that I don’t see any swelling or irritation… I’m going to check your temperature and see if you might be running a fever.” Jin explained, turning around and going to his cupboard, returning the light and retrieving his ear thermometer.

“Oh...okay…” Yeonjun responded and Jin couldn’t quite read the expression on the younger boys face as he walked back towards the table carrying the thermometer.

“This will just take a second.” Jin told him, turning on the thermometer and then gently pressing it against Yeunjun’s ear canal, reading the temperature with a tiny beep which signalled that Jin could pull the device away. “Hm.” Jin chewed on his lip. “No fever.”

Yeonjun shifted, the paper crinkling beneath his weight as he stirred on the table. “That’s weird?” He said quietly.

“Would you say that it’s sore all the time, or just when you eat certain things? Did you eat anything really spicy recently?” Jin asked, feeling genuinely confused as to why there was no swelling and no fever, yet Yeonjun insisted that his throat was sore. He knew he could prescribe him some antibiotics and suggest a throat numbing spray, but, he wished he could get to the bottom of the situation without just slapping a bandaid on it. 

“No… nothing spicy.” Yeonjun swallowed before continuing. “And I’d say it hurts… some of the time, it was really really sore when I woke up…”

“Well, I can prescribe a basic antibiotic that should stop any infection.” Jin began. “And I can write down the names of some good sprays.. Or even check the supply cabinet here and see if we have anything on hand.” Jin decided that seemed like a good idea, knowing that the young performers schedules were often pretty cramped. “Hold on, I’ll go check right now and see if we have something.”

Jin had almost made it to the door when Yeonjun cleared his throat.

“Wait.”

Jin stopped, his heart suddenly leaping into a frantic pace and his stomach fluttering nervously. And not quite the same excited nervousness that he felt earlier in the morning over the messages on the dating app. Jin took a deep breath and then turned around slowly, finding Yeonjun wide eyed and red cheeked, looking so much more nervous than he had just seconds before. What was going on?

“Wh-”

“I’m sorry.” Yeonjun cut in, pulling in a deep breath as his eyes held onto Jin’s. “I don’t really have a sore throat.” 

Jin let out the breath that he had been holding. Well, that was a relief, in some ways, he thought to himself, because prescribing antibiotics when there wasn't an obvious infection wasn’t his favourite thing to do, anyway. The more pressing issue was rapidly presenting itself to be that he had no idea why Yeonjun was really here then, and why was he suddenly so nervous. What was wrong that he felt the need to lie about it? Jin could only assume that the matter was going to be sensitive one, something he was embarrassed about and Jin felt his worry turning to empathy as he studied the anxious boy from across the room. 

“Well… that makes a lot of sense, because I really couldn’t see anything wrong.” Jin offered a gentle smile which Yeonjun seemed grateful for, returning it with a blush but looking a little bit less like he was about to break down into tears. Jin took a few more steps towards the table, wondering if Yeonjun might volunteer the needed information himself or if he was going to need to press a little bit. 

“I… “ Yeonjun started, but his voice faded away as his blush deepened. “I don’t really know how to say this.”

“I promise you, there isn’t much I haven’t heard. And there is nothing that you can say that will freak me out.”   
Jin spoke softly, standing close to the table and wanting to reach out to put a comforting hand on Yeonjun’s trembling shoulder, but remaining still. Jin took a breath himself, wanting Yeunjun to feel as comfortable as he could so that he could be open and honest.

“Why don’t you take a big deep breath, take two, if you want, and when you are ready, tell me why you are really here.”


	8. Office Hours - Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeonjun makes an embarrassing confession to Doctor Seokjin.

Yeonjun seemed so small on the table to Jin that that moment, his eyes wide and glassy, fingers trembling as they clutched at the paper beneath him. Jin wished that he could do something, anything, to provide some comfort, but the younger boy looked as though he’d jump out of his skin if Jin were to reach out and lay a hand on his arm. Jin waited patiently, listening as Yeonjun drew a deep breath and cleared his throat a little bit.

“Okay… so… this might sound stupid….” Yeonjun swallowed and then paused, eyes darting around like a nervous cat but finally landing on Jin’s, his cheeks turning an impossibly deeper shade of rosy pink as he seemed to struggle to find a little more courage to continue. “But the last few times that my boyfriend Soobin and I have been…” Another pause, Yeonjun’s eyes falling away then, landing on the floor for a moment but then flicking back up. “Intimate.” 

Jin inwardly flinched a little bit, hoping that his reaction was invisible. He’d had a feeling that the issue that had brought Yeonjun into the office was intimate in nature, but he had no way of knowing that he was going to find out he was treating Soobin’s boyfriend. Soobin, cousin of his best friend, Youngjae. Jin took a deep breath, willing himself to be calm and receptive, not wanting Yeonjun to feel judged in the slightest. The younger boy who had seemed fairly confident before had been reduced to a quivering lamb. Sensing that Yeonjun was feeling unsure of how to continue once again, Jin gave him the tiniest of smiles.

“It’s okay.” He said quietly, wanting to say more but deciding against it. Yeonjun smiled back and Jin knew that the gesture had been enough.

“I’ve… had a hard time.. Getting…” Yeonjun closed his eyes, exhaling shakily. “G-getting…”

Jin understood. “Hard?” He blurted out. “I mean, getting an erection?” He corrected himself, feeling his own cheeks flush with red. Fortunately, Yeonjun didn't seem bothered or offended by slightly incorrect vocabulary, instead, he was just nodding his head, eyes wide and staring right into Jin’s as though he were silently pleading for his help. 

“Yes. Exactly.” 

Yeonjun let out another breath, this one decidedly less shaky which provided Jin a little bit of relief. There were so many things that could cause erectile dysfunction, even in young boys like him. There were plenty of questions that he needed to ask him, but judging from his level of anxiety, Jin sensed that there could be a clue there in itself. 

“The good news,is that this is a lot more common than you might think.” Jin explained, giving the younger boy another small smile and hoping he could help him relax a little bit more still.

But instead of calm, a fresh burst of panic shone in Yeonjun’s eyes. JIn’s stomach churned, confused as to how he had gone so wrong, but Yeonjun didn’t leave him hanging for too long.

“What’s the bad news?!”  
Jin felt his eyebrows raise a little bit at the sound of panic in Yeonjun’s voice and before he knew what was happening, he was reaching out and placing a hand gently on the younger boys upper arm. To his great relief, Yeonjun didn’t jump away from him, instead, relaxing a little beneath his touch and letting out a quiet whimper.

“This is so embarrassing.” He mumbled, barely loud enough to hear, but of course Jin caught it as he was standing so close.

“I know it is.” Jin said softly. “But you need to calm down, I didn’t mean to startle you. There is no bad news at all, Yeonjun.”

Yeonjun let out a trembling breath and then another, followed by a third which was decidedly less shaky. Jin rubbed his upper arm slowly, feeling his muscles soften beneath the gentle touch. Jin continued, rubbing gingerly until he sensed that his patient had relaxed quite a bit and only then, did he draw back, taking a step away from the table to give Yeonjun a little space. The last thing he wanted to do was to come on too strong with the affection, but Yeonjun didn’t look uncomfortable in the least, quite the opposite and Jin felt a lot more calm himself. 

“So, I’m just going to ask you a few questions so that we can get to the bottom of this, okay?” 

Yeonjun nodded.

“If something is too personal, just say so… but I need you to be as honest as you can with me, okay? I’m not here to judge you, we’re just going to figure this out together, so I need you to be completely open with me.”

Yeonjun nodded again, shifting his weight on the table but keeping his eyes fixed on Jin’s. “I’ll do my best.”

Jin gave him a soft smile. “And that’s perfect.” 

Yeonjun smiled back. Jin drew a breath, quickly trying to decide where would be best to start with a laundry list of questions he had. He wanted to try and wade into things, but admittedly, there was really no way to make the conversation any less awkward or uncomfortable for Yeonjun. Jin knew that such as every other anxiety laced situation he had found himself in, he would just have to turn his trust over to his intuition. So far, it had worked. 

“First off, how long ago would you say you started noticing the problem?”

Yeonjun’s tongue darted out, the colour of bubblegum washing over his lips for a second before he replied; “Hm, I guess about a month ago. I maybe should have come sooner, but, I was hoping it was just a one off thing…” 

His voice trailed away and Jin nodded, showing he understood and wasn’t going to scold him. There was no reason to, as Jin was fairly certain that it was not a serious ailment causing Yeonjun’s difficulties. 

“Has it been every time you and your boyfriend have been intimate, or just sometimes?” 

“Only sometimes… but… I guess more often than not, especially the last week.” 

Yeonjun volunteered part of the information that Jin was going to seek out next and he couldn’t resist hoping that the younger boy was beginning to feel even a little bit more at ease with him. Jin nodded again and pulled a pen out of his pocket, not reaching for anything to write on, but just feeling some of his own anxiety recede as he rolled the smooth metal around between his fingers to distract himself as he considered the best way to proceed.

“So sometimes it happens, and sometimes it doesn’t, right?” Jin wanted to confirm.

“Exactly.” 

Yeonjun nodded, sounding a little bit more sure of himself than he had before and Jin was sure he was feeling better. He felt himself relax a little bit more, continue to play with the pen between his fingers. He was feeling more certain that it was something mental rather than physical, knowing that anxiety could play a large part in situations such as this and it wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility that Yeonjun was stressed out because of his schedule. Jin remembered at that moment as well that Kai had been preparing to debut, which meant that Yeonjun was as well, and it would be especially difficult to be adapting to a new life on top of everything else. 

“Okay, this question is different. What’s your schedule like, Yeonjun? Tell me about what your typical day is like.”

A look of confusion seemed to cross the younger boys face but after just a moment, he began to illustrate for Jin an outline of his routine.

“We get up early, we usually need to be at the dance studio by eight. We have choreo practice for about three hours and then have a break for lunch.” Yeonjun stirs a little bit, getting more comfortable on the examination table and leaning back on his hands a bit. “After lunch, I have vocal lessons for an hour and a half or two hours, sometimes a bit more. On opposite days, I go to the gym for two hours.” 

“I’m already tired.” Jin interrupted then and Yeonjun returned the interjection with a weak smile.

“We usually get to take a break after that, but in the evening after supper, we have english tutoring for two hours most days. And all of this changes if we are recording or shooting. But all around, it’s insane.”

Jin let out a quiet sigh. “No doubt. That’s a really intense routine. Tell me you get the weekends off?”

“Usually.” 

Jin had known long before he worked at the office that the lifestyle of an idol was a lot more rigorous and a little less glamorous than some people might expect. For all of the fame and glitter and enchantment, there were just as many long days, harsh comments and strict rules to abide by. 

“Okay… Here’s another weird question for you.” Jin gave him a shy smile. “When you and Soobin are intimate, is it usually on weekends? Weeknights?” Jin paused. “All nights?” 

Yeonjun smiled and blushed again. “It’s usually week nights…. If we do have the weekend off, Soobin usually goes home, he’s from Seoul.” 

Jin nodded, feeling as though the puzzle was becoming much closer to solving itself. If Yeonjun was trying to fool around with Soobin when he’s exhausted, mentally and physically, he simply wouldn’t have the energy. As well, anxiety and even depression, which could show many faces besides the stereotypical sit-at-home-and-cry-all-the-time side, could play a big part in arousal and being able to maintain an erection.

“You must be tired, though.” Jin said simply. 

Yeonjun looked a little bit surprised, but not in a bad way, instead as though he too was starting to understand. Maybe. Perhaps.

“Usually.”

Jin felt his smile stretch wider. “That right there is enough to cause what you are experiencing. And when you are stressed, what do you do to relax?”

Yeonjun pouted, not at all the reaction Jin had been hoping for, as he had been expecting the younger boy to be relieved that the problem was so simple and clear. 

“But Soobin has no trouble…. Getting… it up” His voice was quiet, obviously embarrassed when comparing himself to his boyfriend. 

Jin smiled and reached out, brushing his hand over Yeonjun’s shoulder, but only for a moment. “Everyone is different.”

“Do you really think that’s all it is?” Yeonjun’s tone was still unsure.

Instead of answering right away, Jin decided to ask another question, instead. “How about when you are stressed out, how do you relax?”

“What do you mean?” 

More uncertainty, which Jin met with another smile. “I mean, when you do get some down time and you need to relax, what do you do? Play video games? Take a bath? Have a drink?” Jin raised a brow, knowing that the latter of the suggestions would most definitely interfere with other things.

Yeonjun shook his head. “We aren’t allowed to drink… I usually spend time with Soobin… I like to cuddle… but he…. We….” Yeonjun smiles as his cheeks flood a burgundy shade. “Things happen.”

Jin smiled back. “And sometimes other things happen and sometimes they don’t, right?” Jin’s voice is quiet, with his hand he subtly motions towards the younger boys crotch but as he speaks his tone is gentle. Jin has figured out that if he keeps his explanations on the simple side rather than the technical, Yeonjun seems more calm and relaxed. 

“Let’s rule one more thing out.” 

Yeonjun looked up, waiting for Jin to respond, but still seeming much less nervous than he had at the beginning of the conversation. Jin was relieved, and he was also fairly certain about how he was going to conclude the matter, but has just one more curiosity to quell, first. For thoroughness, sake.

“Have you been taking any new medications since this began happening? Any new vitamins, even?”

Yeonjun shook his head.

“Alright...then I am pretty sure I know what is going on.”

Yeonjun remained quiet, watching Jin and waiting for the doctor to continue.

“Yeonjun, I really think it’s just a matter of working too hard during the day and being tired. When you get an erection, it does take a fair bit of energy for the blood to rush to your genitals… and stay there, to maintain it. Once you begin moving around, you are using energy for that as well.” Jin paused for a moment, catching Yeonjun’s gaze to be sure that the younger boy was following along. 

“But I don’t usually feel THAT tired when we…” Yeonjun still seemed unsure as his voice faded away into the space between them.

“Easy, that’s because adrenaline.” Jin smiled. “You’re excited when you’re… intimate with Soobin.” Jin realized his voice had become lower, more quiet and he could feel the burn of a blush spreading over his cheeks but Yeonjun was thankfully, listening intently. “Your brain is full of excitement and energy… but your body just can’t keep up.”  
Yeonjun seemed to absorb the information for a moment or two, remaining quiet, but pensive. After what wasn’t too long, he cleared his throat. “Is there anything I can do, though? Like… a pill?”

Jin shot him a sympathetic smile, knowing that he didn’t want to prescribe that kind of medication to someone so young, at least not right away. “There are medications… but they are more so intended for people who have more of a problem than you do…Because you are sometimes able to maintain an erection, I really feel as though this is a matter of mental and physical exhaustion, maybe some stress, too.”

Yeonjun sighed. “So I’m just doomed.”

Jin bit his lip, he didn’t want to laugh but the seriousness of the younger boys tone and the drama that was tightly laced behind each word was more than a little bit adorable he can’t hold back a smile. “You aren’t doomed, silly.” Jin said in a tone that was almost playful. “How about you try it in the morning, or on a weekend when you can convince Soobin to stay at the dorm.”

Yeonjun seemed to accept the suggestion, nodding his head and giving Jin a shy smile. “It’s just embarrassing that he can… and I can’t.”

“I understand.” Jin said, wondering if he should say more but then deciding that what he had offered was enough.

The smile faded from Yeonjun’s lips and he blushed, eyes falling away and to the floor once again. Jin felt a fresh prick of anxiety, confused because he thought that they had just settled on a conclusion and what else could the younger boy still be worried about?

“Um… D-doctor.” The words tremble and Jin felt his stomach turning over, nervous again himself.

“Relax” Jin whispered, stepping a little bit closer to the table and Yeonjun, as well. More quietly; “What is it?” 

“Just to rule everything out.” Yeonjun began with some confidence but as his voice faces, his sureness does as well. His shoulders soften and his cheeks blush an impossibly darker shade of red. “Could you maybe… just… check that… that….” Yeonjun’s eyes fluttered closed, long lashes resting against his embarrassed cheeks. 

It’s completely silent for a moment and Jin supposes that he knows fairly certainly what Yeonjun was going to continue to say, so he decided to volunteer the words. “Do you want me to take a quick look?” 

“P-please.”

“Of course, Yeonjun. Try and take some deep breaths for me, okay? Everything is going to be okay.” Jin speaks quietly and when it’s quiet again, he reaches out and brushes his fingers gently over the younger boys upper arm. “You’re doing so well.”

Yeonjun smiled in a shy and especially cute way and Jin decided it would be better to turn away, trusting his intuition to guide him through the fluid routine and preparing for an exam. Including the typical preamble.

“I’m going to wash my hands and put on gloves, if you want to take your pants and underwear off, there are privacy sheets there to cover up with while I get ready. Or you can change in the bathroom over there.” Jin gestures.

“Here is okay.” Yeonjun responded quietly.

Jin moved to the small counter, turning on the faucet and waiting while the water warms up, knowing that there is no need to rush. The last thing he wanted to do is make Yeonjun feel hurried. Washing his hands, Jin can’t help but feel his confidence growing steadily as he mentally prepared for the procedure ahead. Despite being a little awkward, Jin felt hopeful that when he was through, Yeonjun would be able to feel a lot more assured that everything was really okay. Most men struggled with exactly this issue at some point in their life, after all. Jin dried his hands with paper towel while he can hear the paper on the table crinkling behind him, wondering if Yeonjun is feeling more nervous and once again, willing himself to be confident that his intuition would guide him through the exam smoothly and he would be able to make Yeonjun feel as comfortable as possible. Jin plucked a pair of gloves from the box next, pulling them over his hands and taking a deep breath.

“All set, Yeonjun?” He decided to ask before turning around.

“Y-yes. Thanks for double checking.”

Jin smiled as he turns around, feeling himself release the breath he’d been holding when the younger boy returns the smile, holding the sheet over his lower half and looking a little more calm than Jin had expected, even.

“Alright, if you want to lie back… I’m going to pull out the stirrups and I’ll have you slide down to the edge of the table and pop your feet up.”

Yeonjun’s eyes widened, any smidge of confidence that had been there before seemingly faded at once and Jin felt himself blush, knowing that the position he had asked him to get in was uncomfortable for most anyone, and definitely a first for Yeonjun.

“Okay.” 

Jin smiled and nodded his head briefly before moving briskly to the other end of the table, pulling out the stirrups and adjusting them as he thought would be necessary. Yeonjun watched for a moment but then shuffled towards him, tentatively laying back and spreading his thighs apart, lifting his ankles and reaching for the stirrups. Reaching out, Jin gingerly guided each foot towards it’s allocated rest and then let out a quiet breath, feeling his own heart pounding a little bit, nervous and wishing that he was anything but. 

“How’s that?”

“Not so bad, actually.” Yeonjun said in a quiet voice.

Jin takes another breath but feels his confidence growing once again, and for that he is relieved as he takes a seat on his little rolling stool and guides himself between Yeonjun’s stretched legs. There’s just one thing left between him and beginning the examination.

“Can I take away the sheet?”

“Yeah.” 

“You’re doing great, this will be quick and completely painless, I assure you.” 

Jin is grateful that his voice sounds more sure than he expected he would and he guides his hand towards the sheet, drawing it slowly back and exposing Yeonjun’s lower body. To Jin’s surprise, his cock is half hard and he is a little relieved that a lack of energy seems to really, truly, be the cause of his difficulties. Drawing a deep breath, Jin reached out again, fingers grazing over his inner thighs.

“I’m going to begin by taking a quick look and feel, let me know if anything hurts, okay?” 

Yeonjun nodded, his eyes tightly closed and his canine teeth sunk into the thick swell of his lower lip. Jin felt his heart pound quickly again, a twinge of guilt that the younger boy looked so nervous but he was at least sure that it won’t be long before he was feeling better, about everything. Without further hesitation, Jin allowed his hands to wander higher, gingerly skirting over his hips and then moving inwards, using one hand to carefully lift up his penis. Slowly, he moved his fingers along the length of Yeonjun, feeling for any abnormalities or swellings, and of course, there are none, just as he had expected. What he most certainly had not expected, however, was the feeling of blood rushing beneath his touch, Yeonjun’s cock stirring in his grasp and growing completely erect from just his quick examination. Jin felt his cheeks burning hot and he looked up, grateful that Yeonjun’s eyes were still clenched tightly shut. Jin decided to proceed with the exam, fingers moving lower and over his testicles, feeling around each of them as gently as he could and finding that everything was typical. Jin allowed his hand to fall away and his eyes quickly glanced back to Yeonjun’s erection to assure himself of what he already knew. What he did not know, however, was exactly what to say. He cleared his throat.

“Yeonjun? We’re all done. Are you okay?”

The room was dead silent, Jin was sure that the tiniest pin falling would be audible and he’s also certain that he could hear his own heart pounding in his ears. He felt embarrassed for Yeonjun, it was an awkward situation, no doubt, but at least it was proof that he really could get an erection… in some situations. Jin felt helpless in a way he hadn't before, having never faced this scenario before. He knew as well, that it wouldn’t be the last time, as his professor had told him that this could happen during one of the many lectures about the topic. Jin’s mind reeled, desperately searching for the right thing to say but feeling desperately without words. After what was probably a minute or two of tense silence, Yeonjun made a soft, whimpering sound and then spoke, his eyes still closed.

“I feel like an idiot.”

“No!” Jin blurted out. “No…” He continued, much more softly. “I just mean, don’t feel like an idiot. This… reaction is good, in a way. Right? There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, sweetheart.” Jin felt himself gasp inwardly, blushing deeply at the use of such an affectionate word. His heart began to pound even faster, nervousness creeping in that he had stepped over a line. But Yeonjun didn’t explode with anger, only sighed softly.

“I guess so.”

“Wh-why don’t you go to the bathroom and get changed? We can talk more after you get dressed, if you want.”

WIthout words, Yeonjun nodded and pulled his feet down from the stirrups, shuffling backwards and reaching for his clothes. Jin turned away a little bit and Yeonjun quietly slipped off of the table and made his way across the room. Jin briskly moved as well, pulling off the gloves and throwing them away. The next few moments felt excruciatingly long to Jin as he yearned to resolve the embarrassment that the younger boy felt. He couldn’t help but wonder if there was anything he could have done differently. Finally, the bathroom door opened and Yeonjun emerged, a tiny smile on his lips when Jin met his eyes. He looked infinitely more comfortable, dressed in his jeans and soft grey sweater, the hood pulled securely up over his coloured hair. 

“Are you feeling a bit better?” Jin finally asked, filling in the silence of the room. 

“I am.” Yeonjun smiled. “I… Thank you.” His head ducked a little bit as his eyes fell to the floor.

“No need to thank me, Yeonjun. You did the right thing coming in because you were unsure.”

Yeonjun nodded, but didn’t say anything else, so Jin decided to cross the room again, moving to the counter where his bowl of chocolate bars was resting. 

“Hey, before you go.” Jin held the bowl out towards the younger boy.

“Th-thank you.” Yeonjun smiled, eyes dancing over the bowl and then plucking a package of m&m’s from the mix.

“Enjoy the rest of your day… and take it easy, if you can find some time to relax, I think you will have no trouble at all.” Jin smiled, walking with Yeonjun towards the doorway.

“I’ll try.” Yeonjun smiled. “Thanks again.”

“Just come back if you have any more troubles or questions at all.” 

Jin said quietly, looking into the younger boys eyes and feeling confident that he had succeeded, at last, in easing Yeonjun’s worries. Nodding his head, Yeonjun smiled at Jin one last time and then reached for the handle of the door, pulling it open and stepping out into the hallway. A tiny wave of his hand and then he was gone.


	9. Office Hours - Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know it has been SO long since my last update and I am really sorry. I was working two jobs over the holiday season and only had a total of four days off between October and Christmas! On the bright side, it's over and I have weekends off again which is when I do the bulk of my writing ~ Please enjoy the new chapter but please forgive me if my writing is a little bit rusty. I felt like what I did with this chapter is a bit of a risk, as it strays from the main focus of the story but I hope you will enjoy it. I am again sorry that it took me this long to get a new chapter up but I promise that updates will be more regular now. The story was on my mind every single day and I am loving writing it. I really appreciate all of the feedback and support I've been given and hope that it continues to be positive. Please, if you don't like it, just don't read, I am too sensitive for the hate. Enough talking, get to reading.

Jin felt a mixture of relief and excitement as he gathered up the paperwork on his tiny desk. The week had seemingly passed much faster than his first and he couldn’t help but smile, feeling one step closer to his weekend with each page that he tucked into its corresponding folder. The days had blurred into one another after Monday, when he had seen Yeonjun and after his somewhat awkward appointment with the maknae, he couldn’t help but feel a touch of relief that all of his other patients had been a little more straight forward. A pleasant and not overly complicated line up of prescription refills, routine vaccinations and a couple of sore throats - that were actually sore. After the last page was put away, Jin rolled his chair out and stood. Sauntering over towards where his jacket hung, he felt a fresh tingle of anticipation as he slipped his arms into the familiar sleeves. After he got home and changed, He was going to meet Colin for the first time. 

Throughout the week, they had exchanged numbers and their conversation had moved from the app to text messages. Despite having received plenty of other messages, Jin had found that the conversation had dried up so quickly with anyone else. Or, they asked for nudes. Something that Jin was quite relieved Colin hasn’t asked for. Instead, their conversations flowed like those between old friends, sharing their favourite books, movies and even little stories of their own lives. 

Jin had learned quite a bit, he felt, about Colin, which made it less nerve wracking to think about meeting him. At least, a little. Undeniably, the butterflies began to pick up as he pulled his phone from his pocket and checked to see if he had any new messages. 

None. 

One of the things that Jin had learned over the course of the week was that Colin spent a lot of time working. But, they had agreed, it felt less like work when you enjoyed your career, which was something else that the two men had in common. Even though Jin knew very little about what graphic designers did, exactly, he liked listening to - or reading, rather, Colin describing his projects and his ideas. It was curious, to Jin, how his mind could build up so many unique and original ideas. While he himself on the other hand, felt not in the least creative but supposed his mind was a database of medical terminology and diagnostics, instead. 

Besides talking about work, Jin found himself opening up about many other things as well. They had spent every night of the week texting until Jin could hardly keep his eyes open. Some of the details of their lives that they discussed were small and trivial. Such as, what flavour bubble tea they each preferred. Other discussions were more personal, such as when Jin asked if Colin had lived in Korea his entire life. 

Jin had been born and raised in Seoul, half a world away from where Colin had spent his childhood in British Columbia, Canada. His parents were both Korean, but had been international students in university in Vancouver when they met. Colin had been raised as an only child and they had moved to Daegu when he was about to enter junior high. Jin felt a lot of sympathy for Colin as he learned about the way he’d been bullied for his accent, despite being able to speak fluent Korean. Jin couldn’t help but wonder what Colin’s voice would sound like, if he’d still have an accent, if it was deep or it was soft. As the doctor made his way down the hallway to the reception area, he felt a rush of butterflies tickling his nerves. He told Katy to have a good weekend and then slipped out, practically skipping with excitement towards his car. 

Colin had told Jin that he wanted the date to be a surprise, and although Jin would have preferred to know what the plan was, at least so he could dress accordingly , he was excited in a different way about the mysterious circumstances. He hadn’t been on that many first dates and most of them had been the standard dinner and a movie and so Jin was hopeful that Colin wanted to break the tradition. 

Traffic was thick, the way it always was on a Friday night in Seoul, but the anticipation of his first date in over a year had Jin especially on edge as he waited for the red light to change. Glancing quickly towards his phone, his hopes lifted and then fell when he saw that there were still no new messages from Colin. When the light turned, Jin drove on, doing his best to keep his anxiety at bay and focus on what he was going to wear, instead of whether or not Colin was even going to show up. 

Fortunately, Colin did show up. A blue sports car pulled into the driveway and Jin felt his throat tightening, heart pounding and then nearly jumped out of his skin when his phone buzzed. 

“I’m here. :)” 

Logically, Jin knew that he had faced much more serious situations in his life than this one. Despite knowing this, his fingers still trembled as he typed out a reply that he’d be right there. Taking a deep breath, he glanced one last time in the full length mirror in his room. He had decided on one of his favourite sweaters, it was a blue knit cardigan with a whale on the front. It was adorable and hopefully not too casual and most of all, Jin felt comfortable in it because he wore it so often. With the sweater he had paired one of his favourite pairs of jeans, hugging his muscular thighs and tapering down at the bottom to accent how long his legs were. Moments later, he put on his coat and grabbed his keys to lock up before going outside, glancing quickly towards the car and feeling his heart race even faster still at the sight of Colin in the front seat. He hadn’t been able to make out much with the quick glance but still, seeing him in the flesh only made his anxiety increase. It was all becoming so real. He was going on a date.

Deep breaths, Jin told himself as he began walking towards the blue sports car. Breathing in, Jin reminded himself that he’d been talking to this person all week. He knew that he preferred earl grey to plain black tea and he knew that he loved to play the video game Zelda. Before he made it all the way to the car, the driver side door opened and Colin stepped out, standing not quite as tall as Jin but just about and a kind smile lighting up his face, so familiar from the photos he had looked at so many times and still a little different to see up close. But not bad different, Colin was decidedly handsome, with well defined brows and soulful eyes. He wore large, tortoiseshell framed glasses and a navy blue toque with his long-ish hair sticking out of the bottom.   
“Hello there.” His voice was deep, perhaps a little bit American sounding but mostly, Jin just noticed how deep and smooth he sounded, as well as much more confident than he felt himself.

“Hi” Jin returned the smile, feeling his cheeks burn. “How was your day?”

“Better now.” Colin leaned against the car a little, not standing too close and Jin was appreciative of the fact he wasn’t crowded, because he felt nervous enough as it was. “Are you ready for our date?”

“I think so.” Jin replied. “Are you finally going to tell me where we’re going?”

Colin pretended to consider it for a moment, looking thoughtful and Jin couldn’t help but stare when his tongue washed over his soft looking lips. Already, he was wondering what it would be like to kiss him, if he would be gentle or if he would be wanting? 

“Hmm, no.., I think you can wait a little longer.” Colin grinned.

Jin sighed, feigning more annoyance than he actually felt but then giggling, feeling some of his nervousness melt away as he laughed, somehow feeling the same comfort that he had felt when they had texted late into the night on the days leading up to their date. As Jin was climbing into the passenger seat, he felt less as though Colin was a stranger and a little more comfortable about the fact he had no idea where he was going to be driven to. 

As Colin drove, he asked Jin about his day, wanting to know the little details such as what he had for lunch and how many appointments he had seen. Jin appreciated that he cared to know the small things and that he wanted to hear about it at all, because it wasn’t the most interesting. When Jin had finished telling him about the bento box he had had delivered to the office and that the appointments were all fairly straight forward, he asked the same, what had Colin filled his day with and what had he had for lunch? Jin found that as Colin spoke, he enjoyed just listening to the sound of his voice, hearing him talk about the same things that he had explained to him about his job before but it feeling brand new because he was able to watch the way his face lit up when he explained something he was passionate about. Before he could detail his lunch, Colin turned the car into the parking lot of a sports arena and announced that they had arrived at their destination.

“I’m confused.” Jin admitted, looking outside at the huge building that he’d never been to and wondering if Colin had brought him to a hockey game or something, despite the fact that he’d never mentioned he was a fan of the sport.

“We’re going skating! Remember I asked you a few days ago if you knew how?”

Jin felt relieved that he wasn’t going to have to sit through a boring hockey game. He had never been much of a sports guy. But, he did enjoy skating, and he did remember when Colin had asked and he had thought it was only because Colin had mentioned that he had done figure skating as a teenager.  
“Hopefully I don’t look too silly next to you, though.” Jin said, suddenly feeling a little self conscious of the fact that his experience was pretty limited in comparison to Colin, who had spent countless hours on the ice.

“Don’t worry, I’m not as good as you probably think and I just thought it would be fun…” Colin’s voice grew a little softer, his eyes falling away from Jin’s as he blushed a little, seeming nervous for the first time. “Thought it would just be a nice way to be able to talk and get to know each other a bit more…”

“I agree.” Jin replied with confidence, wanting Colin to know that he was looking forward to the date and that he appreciated the thoughtfulness of the choice. It really was a sweet gesture to choose something where they could talk, not like a movie where they would have to just sit in the dark and watch a screen together. The nervousness that had filled Jin before was melting into excitement, not only about the date itself but about Colin in general, out of all the guys that had messaged him through the app. Colin had been the only one that wasn’t cringy or creepy, hadn’t asked him for dirty pictures or about hooking up. He seemed like a genuinely sweet guy and that was what Jin was looking for in a potential boyfriend, though admittedly, the thought of a relationship still seemed like a distant hurdle. Best to just focus on the date for now, Jin decided as he got out of the car and walked beside Colin towards the arena wondering if his date might reach for his hand and feeling slightly disappointed when he didn’t, but decided it was probably just nerves. 

Loud k-pop music filled the speakers of the large ice rink and there were a few dozen other people circling the rink, Jin’s eyes following the different coloured jackets gliding around as he stepped into the line to rent skates with Colin. A few minutes later, as they slipped their boots off and slid their feet into the skates, they began to chat as they tightened the laces. Colin had a pet cat, a silver tabby named Buttons and Jin listened as Colin told him stories about her, about how he had adopted her from a cat lounge, how she had been there the longest because she was an older adult and not a tiny kitten. Jin thought it was endearing that he had chosen the most in-need cat and found his crush on the boy with dark hair just past his ears deepening as he talked about his cat as though she was his child. 

Jin felt his legs tremble as he approached the rink, feeling less sure he’d be able to keep his balance and prevent himself from making a fool of himself. Colin moved effortlessly, stepping with confidence onto the ice and holding the gate open for Jin to follow. Taking a deep breath, Jin felt his leg shake as he took his first wobbly step onto the ice but he stood tall, maintaining his balance just enough to remain upright.

“Breathe, Jin.” Colin laughed. “Is it that scary?”

“N-no.” Jin shook his head and attempted to take a stride, nearly losing his balance and gasping when he felt a strong hand reach for him quickly, pulling him upright and keeping him from falling.

“I’ve got you.” Colin whispered, so close that Jin could smell his minty cologne and feel the warmth of his body. His legs felt weak all over again, and not just because of the skates. With all of his composure, he stood up and pulled away from Colin a little bit, knowing that if he stayed this close to him, he’d embarrass himself even more. 

“Thanks” Jin said quietly. “You saved my ass...literally.” He blushed as he smiled and Colin smiled back.

“We can do something else if you want to.” Colin said quietly. “If you don’t want to skate, I mean.”

Jin shook his head. “It’s okay, let me give it another try. Just stay close, you might need to save me again.”

Colin smiled a little wider. “My pleasure.”

Fortunately for Jin, he found that each stride on the ice became a little easier than the one before, and before long, they’d made it around the rink without any disasters. Sure, they weren’t the fastest skaters, but Jin was sure that he didn’t look entirely pathetic next to Colin, who made skating look effortless as he glided across the ice with ease. Another fortunate aspect was that Jin found with each lap of the rink he found himself focused much less on the skating itself and more on Colin and their conversation. The words between them flowed effortlessly, Jin found that it was much easier to talk to his date than he had initially expected and it was likely for the fact that they had already spent so many hours getting to know each other through text. They talked about their favourite restaurants and found that they loved the same pad thai take out stall inside the food court in one of the malls. Jin couldn’t help but wonder if they’d crossed each others paths before and never known. 

After close to an hour, a bell sounded that signalled that the skating time was over and the ice would need to be cleared so it could be cleaned and polished for the next round of skaters. It had felt as though no time had passed at all but JIn also felt decidedly more relaxed and at ease as he followed Colin off of the ice and over to the benches where they untied their skates. 

“How about a hot chocolate?” Colin asked after they returned their skates to the rental counter.

“That sounds wonderful.” Jin smiled, feeling as excited as a child would at the idea of a hot of hot cocoa in his cold hands. 

So he followed Colin over to another counter where they got into a line of other people who all seemed to be ordering the same thing - cocoa. Jin listened as Colin explained that after every skating practice, his mom would take him to get a hot chocolate and now it was hard to go skating without concluding with the same tradition. When it was their turn to order, Colin refused to let Jin pay and Jin blushed as he took the cup of cocoa - topped with whipped cream, no less, from his date, feeling grateful not only for the gesture but for the time spent simply with Colin himself. 

Because the arena was crowded and noisy, Colin suggested that they head back to his car to drink their cocoa and warm up a little bit. Jin tucked himself into the passenger seat, not bothering with the seatbelt because Colin tossed the keys into the console cubby between them, silently making it known that there was no rush to leave. For a few moments, it was quiet, Jin sipped at his warm, sweet drink and enjoyed the atmosphere, feeling as though he should say something to fill the void but unsure of what.

“I had a really good time skating with you.” Colin said softly. “Did you want me to take you home...or…” His eyes met Jin’s and then fell away again, a dusting of something - nervousness? Flashing over his expression that made Jin feel uneasy himself. His heart pounded, knowing that he had a choice to make and hoping that he wanted the same thing as Colin did. He took a deep breath and then gave Colin a shy smile.

“I don’t really want to go home yet, I’m having a really good time, too.”

Colin sighed softly and returned the smile, looking relieved. “I’m glad. Sorry…” His confidence faltered again and Jin wished that he had the courage to reach out and brush his hand over his arm to comfort him - something, anything, but he remained still, watching as Colin shifted in his seat a bit. “I’m not so great at this dating thing.”

Jin chuckled quietly. “Do you know how long it’s been for me? SInce I’ve been on a date?” 

Colin shook his head. “Probably longer for me?” 

Jin shrugged. “About a year.”

Colin smiled. “Okay, nine momths… but my last one was terrible.” The smile faded. “I almost swore off this dating app… it’s full of creeps… and then I met you.” 

Jin blushed, feeling his entire body glowing with a warm feeling that he’d missed. Not only had it been awhile since his relationship had ended, but, in all honesty, the ending had come too late. The relationship had turned bitter months before Jin caught him cheating, and it had been something he had almost been expecting after all of the constant arguments and nasty things said - and unsaid, too. It was refreshing that Colin seemed so pleased to just share time with him, Jin felt as though he hadn’t done much to impress him - or felt that he needed to, but Colin seemed happy none the less. And so did Jin. 

“There are a lot of creeps.” Jin said after a moment. “I got a lot of weird messages.”

“But for some reason, you still chose to go out with me.” Colin laughed and took a sip of his hot chocolate.

Jin laughed hard, squeaking a little bit and feeling his chest ache as he clutched his hot chocolate, careful not to spill it. It felt good to laugh, to let go, to be able to relax in the presence of someone else. Not that he didn’t enjoy his best friend Youngjae’s presence, but it was refreshing to meet someone new. Jin knew that he should be more social, but, he faced a combination of a tight schedule and a job that left him exhausted - and sometimes, tired of people. He certainly wasn’t tired of Colin, and he didn’t want the night to end. 

“You’re not a creep.” Jin said, glancing over and noticing that Colin had a smudge of whipped cream on his upper lip. His eyes felt drawn to it, lingering on the way it was caught on the thick swell of his upper lip and suddenly his mind was racing, his body reeling with adrenaline and before he knew it, he was leaning forward to close the space between them and capture his lips.

Colin inhaled sharply, obviously caught off guard but then moaned softly as his lips moved slowly against Jin’s. It was a comfortable kiss, not too fast and not in the slightest bit rough, but still eager enough to make Jin’s heart pound in his chest. He thought about deepening the kiss with his tongue, but drew away instead, wanting to look into Colin’s eyes and be sure that it had been the right thing to do at all. The kiss had been so abrupt and yet the moments that lingered as Jin searched for Colin’s eyes felt as though time had stopped. Finally, Colin opened his eyes and with blushing cheeks, smiled shyly at Jin.

“Was that okay?” Jin whispered. “You had whipped cream on your mouth.”

Colin nodded slowly, eyes searching Jin’s for a moment and then falling lower, staring at his mouth as he responded in a low voice; “I think so… but maybe you should kiss me again, just to be sure?”

Jin felt a tremble course through him, from his shoulders and across his ribs, lower to his thighs he squirmed in the seat, feeling his cock growing hard within his tight jeans. He hadn’t expected the mood to take such a turn, but as his heart pounded, it was with excitement and not with doubt. Something about kissing Colin seemed right and he wanted to try it again. 

“I think I could do that…” Jin mumbled, giving Colin a half smile before closing his eyes and surrounding himself in darkness as he brushed his mouth over Colin’s again.

This time, Colin was anything but reserved, immediately moving his lips against Jin’s and even reaching out with his hand and dusting his fingers across Jin’s thigh, walking them upwards until he found his hand and covered it with his own. Jin groaned quietly, finding that he liked the sensation of the other man taking control and feeling another tremble roll over him like a wave when Colin’s tongue pressed between his lips, seeking entrance. Parting his mouth, their tongues met and began to move together, finding that the tempo was immediately insync and without any awkwardness. Jin felt as though he could kiss him all night when suddenly the sound of a sharp ringtone cut into the atmosphere and filled the car interior. Jin groaned, pulling away from the kiss. He knew that it was his phone screaming from inside of his bag, but it wasn’t his usual ringtone, it was his work phone. Jin’s heart began to pound, not with the desire that had caused a commotion behind his ribs just moments before, but a new sort of anxiety all together. 

Frantically, he glanced to Colin and mouthed a “sorry” before he dug into his bag and found the phone, closing his fingers around it, he pulled it out with a shaking hand. Briefly, Jin looked down at the screen and saw that it was Dr. Wang before immediately accepting the call, not wanting it to go to voicemail.

“H-hello?”

“Seokjin?” Doctor Wang’s familiar voice came through the receiver. “I’m sorry to bother you, but, there’s a bit of a situation.” 

Jin’s heartbeat only quickened as he sat up in the passenger seat, body suddenly feeling cold despite the warmth of the car and the hot drink that he’d been nursing only moments before. All at once, the atmosphere of the evening had changed, and he could feel Colin’s eyes watching him, obviously wondering what the hell was happening and his expression was difficult to read. Despite knowing that he’d probably ruined everything with Colin, he didn’t regret taking the call, knowing that when he had become a doctor, he had made a commitment to always put his patients first. Doctor Wang wouldn’t be calling him unless it was an emergency, which is why it suddenly felt so hard to breathe as he willed himself to respond to the older doctor.

“N-no, it’s okay, what’s going on?” 

“I’m at the Big Hit Dance Studio. One of the patients from our clinic is quite unwell… and he is requesting that he see you. Only you.” 

Jin swallowed, his mind reeling so quickly yet unable to pause on any one thought. Who would be requesting specifically him? It felt as though he were too new to have any such attachment. His tongue ran over his suddenly dry lips and he glanced again to Colin, who was still watching him, a little wide eyed, but fortunately, not angry looking in his demeanor.

“What happened, and who is it?”

“It’s Park Jimin. When can you get here? Do you know where the studio is?”

Jimin. It all made sense now, especially knowing that the younger boy was especially not a fan of Doctor Wang. He began to worry for even more reasons, knowing how sensitive Jimin seemed to be and he wondered what was wrong, hoped that it was nothing too dire. He wasn’t at the hospital, after all. Finally, Jin sighed. “I can get there… but I don’t know where the studio is.”

Doctor Wang gave him the address, a street that Jin recognized to be not too far from the clinic itself. 

“One second… the issue is that I’m not at home right now.”

Doctor Wang sighed. “Are you not able to come?”

“No.” Jin shook his head. “I’m going to come.”   
He took a deep breath, unsure of how he was going to explain to Colin that he needed to leave, immediately. And not only that, he needed to either be brought right to the studio, or at least to his apartment so that he could get his car. Time seemed to be of the essence, but he wasn’t sure how to express that without sounding rude - he was already going to sound rude, and he really didn’t feel great about blowing Colin off. It just didn’t feel as though there was really a choice. 

“It’s my work - it’s a patient -” 

Colin cleared his throat and cut him off with a sad, but sympathetic smile. “Where do you need to go?” Colin spoke softly. “I can take you there.”

Jin sighed, feeling as though he might melt with relief into the seat itself. Colin didn’t seem angry, but the sadness in his eyes tugged at his heart, still. Jin picked up the phone again and told the older doctor that he’d be there in about ten minutes - the estimate that the GPS had provided after they had put in the address. When Jin hung up, the car was silent, and the mood had felt as though it had shifted to something heavier. Colin stared ahead at the road and Jin felt as awkward as ever as he sat in the passenger seat and watched the lines on the road whip by.

“I really am sorry about this.” He said after a few moments when the guilt gnawing at him became too much. “I-”

“It’s okay, Jin.” Colin said quietly, hands tightening on the steering wheel as he continued to watch the road as he spoke. “We can get together another time.” He looked over quickly and smiled, though something about it didn’t feel sincere. 

Jin couldn’t help but wonder if there would really be another time, and though he wanted to say more, wanted to ask when, where? He even wanted to tell him that he’d plan everything, make it special as a way to make it up to him… but instead he sat silently, the words stuck in his mind as much as his throat. After a few more long feeling minutes, Colin made a turn and pulled into the parking lot of a non descript grey building with an address that matched the one that they’d been given.

“I think this is it.” Colin announced, putting the car into park and looking over.

“I guess so.” Jin said quietly. “I… uh.” Again, he wanted to say so much, but felt at a loss. Felt such a lack of courage with the person that had made him feel so comfortable not even an hour before. Everything had changed so quickly and part of Jin wondered if he should have just ignored the call. A bigger part of him knew that as hard as this moment was, it was the right thing to do. 

“It’s really okay, Jin. You should get going, they need you.” Colin gave him a weak smile.

“Th-thanks.” Jin said as he reached for the door handle. Part of him had hoped that Colin might give him a kiss goodbye, but from the way he was already looking over the steering wheel and through the windshield, it didn’t seem likely. All at once, Jin just wanted to be out of the car and away. He’d ruined everything. But he had bigger things to worry about. 

“I’ll call you tomorrow?” Colin finally looked over, meeting Jin’s eyes and giving him a weak smile.

“Sure.” Jin nodded. “I mean, please. I’d like that. I really am sorry.”

“It’s really okay. Get going, Doctor Jin.”

Colin smiled a tiny smile that did nothing to assure Jin that he would actually make good on his word and call, but JIn knew that standing around at the car and procrastinating leaving wouldn’t change anything at this point either. So with one last quiet goodbye, he reached for the handle of the car and let himself out, staring straight ahead at the dance studio and not looking back as he walked towards it. What was done was done, and what would be, would be. All that really mattered in that moment now was why Jimin needed him.


	10. Office Hours - Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jin responds to the emergency call at the dance studio and finds Jimin in need of his help.

Jin made short work of the parking lot and found a set of stairs near the back that led to a door with a keycode entrance. Doctor Wang had texted him the code to enter but as he took the steps, the door swung open and Jin’s heart began to pound. Seconds later, a familiar face was staring back at him, eyes wide and full of relief. 

“I’m so glad you’re here.” Hoseok opened the door wider and ushered Jin to come inside the building. 

“What happened?”

Jin licked his dry lips and swallowed around the lump in his throat as his mind reeled like a car on a freeway, racing with ideas about what could have befallen Jimin. Although he was anxious, Jin knew as well that he had to keep a certain level of poise. It hadn’t always been easy, his time spent in hospital and clinic residencies had taught him so many things. One of which was the ability to always remain as outwardly calm as possible in order to maintain his professionalism and in his experience, it also helped to keep the patient calm, as well. 

“Jimin fainted.” Hoseok said without slowing his pace, leading Jin down a long hall sided with plain white concrete which was far from the glamorous set up that the doctor had always imagined idols to work in. 

“Wait.” Jin cleared his throat. “Can we stop and catch up for a second? Is Jimin conscious now?” 

“Yes… and yes.” Hoseok said, turning to face Jin and he gazed right into the older man's eyes as he continued, unprompted. “Practice was running late and Jimin was just working so hard. He collapsed...but he came to almost immediately.” 

Jin let out a soft sigh of relief. Initially learning that Jimin had fainted could have meant so many things that it had been nearly impossible not to feel anxious. Though he still had to determine the cause, he was thankful that Jimin had not been unconscious for any extensive duration of time. Taking another breath, he felt the muscles in his shoulders relax. He still had so many questions. 

“Did Jimin allow Doctor Wang to examine him at all? How long has he been here?”

“No… Jimin freaked out as soon as it was Doctor Wang that came in and not you.” Hoseok frowned. “But being the head doctor… that’s why he came.” 

Jin understood, it had been explained to him that generally the most superior doctor attended emergency situations to avoid having to call an ambulance if at all necessary. An ambulance would attract unwanted attention and press and should be avoided if possible, but of course, in some situations there was no choice. Fortunately, it didn’t seem as though an ambulance would be needed for Jimin. Jin imagined that riding in an ambulance would make Jimin nervous and thinking of him nervous, Jin could only wonder how he felt in the present moment.   
“He hasn’t been here very long, maybe half an hour. He’s been talking to Jimin, asking him things, but, Jimin won’t let him touch him. You know he can be… stubborn.” 

Jin nodded and chewed on his lip for a moment, wondering what the doctor had asked Jimin and how co-operative he was being. Satisfied with the amount of information he’d been able to receive from Hoseok, Jin took a deep breath and straightened his shoulders a little bit. He could feel Hoseok’s eyes following him and he gave the younger boy a small smile, hoping he could convey some reassurance.

“Alright, let’s get Jimin taken care of. Thanks for being so helpful, Hoseok.”

Hoseok’s smile was sincere and Jin could see many emotions caught up in his expression as he held his gaze. It was obvious that Hoseok cared a lot about his friends, perhaps especially Jimin. 

“Follow me.”

Hoseok led Jin to the end of the hallway and to a set of stairs. As Jin climbed each one, he knew he was growing that much closer to Jimin and the situation itself. He felt a little out of place without his doctor's coat or bag, and he’d have to rely on Doctor Wang allowing him to use his. When they reached the top of the stairs, Hoseok opened up a heavy door and there was another hallway with many doorways and windows that faced dance studios. Each of the rooms looked the same, plain white walls and shiny, well polished floors. The lights were off in all of them until finally one on the end and Jin knew before they reached it that it was the destination.

“Here we are.” Hoseok said before pushing open the door.

Jin followed Hoseok inside the dance studio, recognizing Doctor Wang right away, kneeling on the floor with a small group of guys, mostly unfamiliar, all around him. Namjoon was familiar and stood up, giving Jin a small wave.

“Thank you for coming, Doctor Kim Seokjin.”

“You’re most welcome, where’s Jimin?” 

“He’s here.” Doctor Wang said as he stood up, turning to face Jin with an expression that read as exhausted.

Jin felt his stomach knot up as he looked at the doctor and then at the floor where Jimin was leaning against the wall, clutching a water bottle between his spread legs. His skin was pale and his features looked drawn, exhaustion written all over his face. Tired eyes looked up towards Jin and the doctor felt something in his chest stir. 

“Jimin collapsed during dance practice.” Doctor Wang started to explain. “It seems to be exhaustion… He keeps telling me that he ate lunch but no one actually saw him eat.”   
Doctor Wang looked around at the five guys kneeling around Jimin and a few heads nodded, including Namjoon. 

“He should know how important it is to eat properly.” 

Doctor Wang’s eyes moved to Jimin who looked away right away and Jin felt another stirring inside of him, this time out of sympathy. Though the elder doctor was correct, it was not the right time to scold Jimin. The only thing that mattered in the moment, as far as Jin was concerned, was finding out exactly what had happened and determining that he was stable. If it was indeed a lack of nutrients, fainting from exhaustion was entirely possible, especially in a highly strenuous situations such as a dance rehearsal. In that case, he’d need to check his blood sugar levels and check for dehydration as well. Checking his blood sugar would involve a needle and Jin was sure that with the heightened anxiety of the situation that it would involve a lot of patience and care. Jin felt some relief himself that it would be him in charge of the procedure, knowing that he would be the more capable between he and Doctor Wang in the case of keeping Jimin calm. 

“With no offense intended, I think it's best we determine that Jimin is stable now and worry about his diet second.” Jin spoke with his heart pounding, feeling the strong gaze of Doctor Wang as well as the group of boys, Jimin’s bandmates and presumably, friends, but to Jin most of them strangers. 

“By all means.” Doctor Wang cleared his throat and stood up. “I brought the clinic bag rather than my own, so you are free to use anything you wish.” The older doctor picked up a large black leather bag and handed it to Jin. “It should have everything you need, but, if you need to return to the clinic, just give me a quick call to let me know.” 

“Of course, thank you.” Jin nodded, taking the bag and watching as the doctor reached for his jacket. It was quiet for a moment or two and then a voice cut through.

“Is he leaving?” 

Jimin.

“Jimin. Don’t be rude.” Namjoon scolded quietly. “He’s a professional.”

Jimin’s cheeks turned a darker shade of red and Jin felt a knot in his stomach. On one hand, he didn’t mind the company of someone as experienced as Doctor Wang, but on the other hand, he knew that Jimin would have an easier time relaxing if there were less people around. He wasn’t sure how he would do with all of the other guys around, but that was something that would have to be addressed in it’s own time.

“I don’t see a reason to stay.” Doctor Wang spoke himself. “I feel confident that Doctor Kim can handle this. Right?”

Jin nodded, feeling a lump in his throat.

“You’re sure?” Doctor Wang pressed. “Because I can stay and assist.”

Jimin’s eyes were glued to Jin and he could feel the weight of them on his shoulders, knowing he had to summon his confidence and take control of the situation. 

“No, that won’t be necessary.” Jin shook his head, hearing his heart pounding in his ears as he practically felt Jimin’s relief himself, heard several soft exhalations of breath from the huddle of boys and knew immediately that his intuition had been correct. 

“Alright, just call me if you have any questions. I will give you your privacy so you can begin the examination.” Doctor Wang nodded towards the group and then took his jacket from the hook that he had hung it on, sliding his arms in and buttoning it up before letting himself out.

Immediately, the atmosphere seemed to shift. Jin felt several pairs of eyes watching him as he stepped closer to where Jimin was still sitting on the floor, back against the wall and looking exhausted. 

“Alright, Jimin. Why don’t we go sit on that couch over there where it’s more comfortable?” Jin suggested as he looked across the room to a black couch with a couple of pillows and even a blanket on the back of it. It looked a lot more comfortable than the floor and his hope was that it would help Jimin relax a little bit, knowing that a needle was in the cards.

“Sure.” Jimin agreed and a boy with heavy brows but kind eyes helped tug him to his feet.

“Thanks, TaeTae.” Jimin said quietly.

TaeTae, Jin noted, was a cute nickname for the sweet seeming boy with a decidedly strong expression. Jin carried the bag towards the couch and watched as Jimin carefully sat down in the middle of it, not seeming too unsteady on his feet or shaky, which was a definite relief. The other boy sat down on Jimin’s left hand side and glanced towards Jin, as if for permission.

“Is it okay if I stay?” He asked in a tone that was much deeper than Jin had expected it to be.

“Of course... “ Jin began, reaching for a chair on wheels and sitting down with the bag, scooting closer to the couch. “I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Doctor Kim Seokjin. You can call me Jin, if you want.” 

“I’m Kim Taehyung. I was closest to Jimin when it happened, I tried to catch him…” His voice grew softer.

“Hey, it probably happened so fast.” Jin said, sensing that Taehyung felt guilty about being unable to do more to help Jimin in the moment.

“It did.” Taehyung nodded. “One second he was dancing, and the next he was on the ground, on his back.”

Jimin groaned quietly. “It wasn’t that big of a deal.” He muttered. “Just tired.”

Jin licked his lips, tongue washing over the dry flesh as he felt his stomach tumble a little bit. 

“It’s always serious when you lose consciousness, Jimin.”

Jimin closed his eyes and let out a breath that he’d seemed to be holding. “I’m fine.”

“We just need to make sure of that.” Jin gave him a tight smile, sensing that Jimin was going to be stubborn. 

It was quiet for a moment as Jimin seemingly accepted the situation and the fact that the doctor had been correct. Instead of speaking up, Jin watched as Jimin’s small hand reached over and bumped Taehyung’s. Taehyung gave Jimin an encouraging smile and then wrapped his much larger hand around the smaller one, giving it an affectionate squeeze. Jin was glad that Jimin had so many supportive friends.

“Alright, do you mind if I check your vitals first? Your heart, your blood pressure?” Jin asked as he opened up the bag and reached for the stethoscope.

“Sure.” Jimin agreed, sitting up a little bit straighter on the couch.

He seemed decidedly less anxious than the first time he’d been in the clinic with Jin but the doctor still made sure to keep his movements slow and careful. Gingerly, he slipped his hand and the stethoscope beneath the bottom of Jimin’s loose t-shirt and rested over his heart, listening carefully to the steady beat. A little quick, but not alarmingly so.

“Deep breath for me?” 

Jimin breathed in slowly and carefully, and his heartbeat eased as the doctor had expected it to. Jin was satisfied and pulled the stethoscope out, sliding his chair backwards a little bit and tucking the instrument away, pulling out the blood pressure cuff next. Jin could feel Jimin’s eyes watching him as he got the blood pressure monitor ready. 

“Alright, I’ll just borrow your arm.” Jin said quietly as he gingerly took Jimin’s arm with his hand and moved closer. 

Despite Jin moving carefully and gingerly, Jimin still tensed up while the doctor wrapped the cuff around his upper arm.

“Relax for me, Jimin.” 

Jin noticed Taehyung give his friend's hand a squeeze and Jimin’s body began to soften. Jin waited another moment or two, knowing that if he took a reading while Jimin was still tense, it would be somewhat inaccurate. When he felt Jimin had relaxed enough, he adjusted the cuff a bit and began to squeeze the pump. After it was sufficiently tight, he let it release, checking the reading carefully and finding that although a little elevated, it wasn’t too high by any means.

“Good, that’s all fine too, Jimin.” Jin said as he undid the cuff and smoothed Jimin’s sleeve back down over his skin before putting away the blood pressure monitor in the doctors bag.

Jimin sat up straighter and looked expectantly at the doctor. “So, everything’s fine, right?”

“Not so fast.” Jin said with half of a smile. “I still need to check a couple more things. And we need to talk about a few things too.”

Jimin sighed, his shoulders falling with defeat and Jin was sure he caught the tail end of an eye roll as well as the younger boy flopped his back against the couch and folded his arms. “I already told Doctor Wang, I ate lunch.” Jimin grumbled.

“What did you have?”

Taehyung’s deep voice surprised Jin a little bit and he looked towards him, noticing the way that Taehyung was staring directly into Jimin’s eyes and refusing to look away, to blink even, it seemed. Jimin squirmed, licking his lips. Jin could tell that it was going to be difficult for Jimin to lie to Taehyung, and that had been Taehyung’s intention. Smart. Very smart. Jin could sense already that he liked this friend named Taehyung. 

“A sandwich from 7-11.” Jimin said, eyes darting away.

“When did you go to 7-11?” Taehyung countered. “We were recording in the morning and then came right here.” 

“This morning.” Jimin countered, still unable to meet his friends eyes.

Jin watched the exchange, impressed with Taehyung’s tactic and amused - at least a little, at the way Jimin was trying hard to keep the facade up, but failing a little more and more with each question he was stumped with.

“Before we met up? Unlikely. You always sleep in.” Taehyung shook his head. “Besides, no one saw you eat.” 

Jimin was silent, but Taehyung continued to stare. Watching, waiting, for his friend to break.

“Jimin.” Taehyung said quietly. “You need to just tell the doctor the truth. He’s here to help you.”

Another huffy sigh from Jimin. “Fine. I didn’t eat lunch.” 

Jin noticed Taehyung squeeze Jimin’s hand encouragingly. Jimin’s eyes were still on the floor and Jin considered in his mind, how best to navigate the conversation to ensure that the younger trusted him enough to be honest. He needed to find out when exactly the last time he ate was, and how much.

“How about breakfast?” 

Jimin shook his head. “Never feel like eating when I first get up.” 

“A lot of people don’t.” Jin waded carefully. “But, sometimes when you get in the habit of it, your body gets used to it. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Plus, your metabolism is really high then, so if you eat extra, you’ll just burn it off.” 

Jin realized that he was starting to ramble, so he stopped. Jimin was quiet, surely listening but failing to respond. The doctor had hoped that their earlier connection would have helped make conversation easier, but talking to Jimin felt not unlike talking to a wall, in the moment. Admittedly, the situation was not going the way Jin had hoped it would, but he knew he still had lots of opportunity to take control and turn it around. He needed to trust his intuition. 

“Okay. So when is the last time you ate, Jimin?” Jin asked in a gentle voice, turning his gaze back to Jimin and trying to hold his stare.

Jimin looked away but then back again, worrying his lip between his teeth. “Last night, I had dinner.”

“And at about what time was that?” Jin asked, hoping to calculate a rough number of hours.

“At eight thirty, after rehearsal.” 

Jin nodded, knowing immediately that it had been more than twenty four hours, It was almost definitely low blood sugar that had attributed to Jimin losing consciousness, Jin thought to himself. Just then, a sharp voice cut into his thoughts and Jin noticed Jimin jump a little bit on the couch at the sound of Namjoon’s voice. 

“Jimin! You haven’t eaten for more than twenty-four hours?” Namjoon’s voice was full of concern and the leader was starting to stand up when Jin knew that he needed to calm him down or else Jimin was going to become even more anxious as well.

“Shhhh.” Jin said, looking towards Namjoon. “Relax, okay, Namjoon?” 

Namjoon’s lips parted and then closed again, brows set in a stern line and cheeks turning a darkening shade of red. He did not look impressed about being put in his place, but, getting hysterical was the last thing that anyone - especially Jimin - needed. 

“I’m just concerned.” Namjoon said quietly, folding his arms over his chest as he sat back down in the chair he’d been in before. 

“I understand.” Jin gave him a sympathetic smile. “I really do. It’s just that right now, I’d like everyone to be calm to help Jimin.” Jin could feel a slight tremble in his words as his heart pounded, he felt as though he were challenging Namjoon a little bit, though that was far from his intention. Namjoon continued to stare at him for another long moment and Jin felt his stomach knot up.

“I get it.” Namjoon said quietly. “We’ve all been trying to look out for Jimin. I didn’t know it would get to the point he would faint.”

“Hey, it’s okay, Namjoon. You did everything you could. You guys seem like great friends and Jimin is lucky to have you.” 

Jin smiled as he looked around the group, several pairs of brown eyes following him, listening closely to everything he was saying. It was obvious that Jimin was well loved by his friends and that made Jin feel better because he had a feeling that Jimin was going to need support sticking to a healthy eating schedule and Jin had no choice but to have a difficult conversation with him - at some point very soon - about exactly what had lead to this. After exchanging a few smiles with the still unfamiliar - but much less uncomfortable seeming now - group of guys, Jin turned his attention back to Jimin.

“So, Jimin. When we don’t eat, what usually happens is our blood sugar becomes quite low. Low blood sugar can cause all sorts of things - including fainting.” Jin explained, holding Jimin’s gaze and feeling Taehyung’s eyes on him, as well. 

“Okay…” Jimin responded, shifting a little on the couch and then trembling. “I feel cold.”

“That can also be caused by low blood sugar, here-” Jin stood up, looking towards the blue blanket on the back of the couch and pulling it down, unfolding it and handing it to Jimin. “Here. Get cozy. Do you have water?” Jin looked around and then saw a bottle of water on the table beside them. Jimin nodded and gestured towards the same one. 

“I drink a lot of water.”

“He does, always peeing.” Hoseok added.

“Okay, that’s good. - I mean, the water. Not necessarily the peeing.” 

Jin laughed nervously, feeling his cheeks burning. Always adept at turning a perfectly fine situation to an awkward one, he scolded himself. But, Jimin smiled and as Jin smiled back at him, he felt just a little bit of his tension ease. 

“What we need to do, Jimin. Is check your blood sugar.”   
Jin said and then felt his lungs burn a little as he subconsciously held his breath, waiting for Jimin to break down. But, Jimin remained still, staring blankly at Jin. Clearly, he didn’t understand what this test entailed and Jin let out the breath he’d been holding, feeling his heart as it began to pound just a little faster.

“Okay…” Jimin volunteered after a moment of silence. “How do we do that?”

Jin sighed softly and gave Jimin a sympathetic smile. “It’s going to be super fast, but it’s a quick needle. I need to take a drop of your blood so I can measure the levels in it.”

Jimin seemed to grow even more pale as he absorbed each of Jin’s words and gripped Taehyung’s hand a little tighter, causing the other boy to groan quietly.

“It’ll be fine, Jimin.” Taehyung said quickly. “It’s not even like a normal needle.”

Jimin turned his head quickly towards Taehyung. “A needle is a needle.”

“Yes and no. Taehyung is right, it’s not quite the same.” Jin said softly, reaching out and brushing his fingers over Jimin’s arm. “Look at me for a second.” Jin said quietly, voice barely louder than a whisper as his confidence wavered, feeling his heart drumming, wondering if he was taking his bedside manner too far. But Jimin turned towards him, eyes wide with fear and lip quivering, looking ready to fall apart but not at all angry or disturbed.

“I promise it’s going to be okay. Just like before. Okay?” Jin spoke slowly, carefully, and Jimin stared straight towards him, eyes glimmering in a way that made it look like he was about to cry. The doctor hoped not. Jin’s eyes moved away from Jimin’s for a moment, wanting to alleviate some of the pressure, and instead travelled down towards his shoulders, noticing the fact that he was already trembling. All he wanted to do was comfort him, to find a way to make this easier for him. If it weren’t unprofessional, he’d give him a hug and hold him until he stopped shaking. Finally, Jimin pulled in a shaky breath and nodded his head.

“I just hate needles.” He whispered.

“I know you do.” Jin nodded. “And we wouldn’t be doing this unless it was absolutely necessary,”

“I know.” Jimin spoke so softly that the doctor leaned just a little bit closer, eyes meeting and Jin watched as Jimin’s cheeks darkened a little further. “I trust you.” 

Jin’s heart soared, he could feel his skin burning as he blushed an even deeper shade of red than Jimin and despite the fact that bubbling praise and thankfulness would be unprofessional, Jin was sure that the colour of his face would give away the way that he felt. He looked away from Jimin for a moment and then looked back, feeling his heart stop for half a second when he saw the tiny smile on Jimin’s lips.

“Th-thank you, Jimin.” Jin stumbled over his words, finding that they’d made their way out despite the fact it might be unprofessional. Did Jimin know the difference? Jin felt that even if he did, he still ought to know that the doctor appreciated the gesture of kindness. “Are you ready to get started?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be to get a needle.” Jimin responded, sitting up a little more straight on the couch and taking a deep breath. “Breathe.” He mumbled to himself.

“That’s right.” Jin said quietly. “You just breathe deep, and I’ll do the rest.” 

Jin reached for the bag again, feeling a hundred times more confident than he had just moments before. He couldn’t help but remember the first time he’d met Jimin - and though it hadn’t been very long ago at all, it felt like ages. The Jimin before him now seemed almost a different person, though still very nervous, there was an obvious trust. He’d said so himself. Jin’s heart swelled a little bit as he looked towards Jimin again and saw nothing but trust in the younger boys eyes. 

“You can always trust me. I’ll always take care of you.”


	11. Office Hours - Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter wraps up the appointment with Jimin but also takes a turn to reveal some more of Jin’s back story regarding his sexuality.

Jin fumbled through the bag until he found the small device he was looking for. Jimin watched over his shoulder but remained silent as Jin found next the package of sterile needles and box of test strips. 

“One second, while I wash my hands and get gloves.” 

Jimin nodded as he bit down on his lip, watching Jin’s every move as the doctor crossed the room and made use of the small bathroom just off the dance floor. It felt strange to be preparing outside the normalcy of a doctor's office or a hospital, but then again, his position was anything but typical. Before reaching Jimin back at the couch, Jin pulled on a fresh pair of latex gloves. 

“All set.” The doctor spoke in a soft voice as he sat back down in the chair and reached for the monitor and the needles. “I just have to put a fresh one on and we can begin. It’ll be over before you know it.” 

“Wish it was over now.” Jimin murmured and Jin felt a pang of guilt as his stomach tumbled with fresh worry. 

“Soon.” Jin promised as he finished securing the needle in place. 

“Okay. I can use whichever finger you prefer, I just need to borrow your hand. It’ll only take a second.” 

Jin couldn’t help but feel impressed with Jimin’s courage as he extended one hand, trembling slightly, towards him. It was in contrast to the first they had met, when it had taken several attempts to calm Jimin down enough to give him the injections. Gingerly, Jin took Jimin’s hand in his gloved one and watched as Jimin extended his pointer finger and turned his head, closing his eyes tightly. It looked for a moment as though he may bury his face in the thick sleeve of Taehyung’s sweater, but he remained upright, breathing deeply. 

“Do you want to help me count again?” Jin asked as he silently uncapped the needle, trying to keep all of his movements calm and steady. 

“Okay.” Jimin agreed without opening his eyes. 

Carefully, Jin adjusted himself so that he was still holding Jimin’s hand steady with one of his hands while the other prepared the monitor. Truthfully, the whole test could have been done at least once in the time it had taken to prepare. However, Jin had not a single regret about taking time with patients like Jimin who needed a bit of extra care. Jin gave Jimin’s hand a tiny squeeze. 

“Let’s go ahead, then. Take a deep breath for me.” 

Jin observed Jimin take one breath, and then another. He noticed that his shoulders had stopped trembling, but he also noticed that Taehyung’s knuckles were white from where Jimin had been clinging tightly to his hand. 

“One… two…” Jin paused with the monitor right above Jimin’s finger, ready to press the button that would release the lancing mechanism. 

Instead of three, Jimin jerked his hand aggressively away and stared at Jin with wide eyes and a quivering lip, bracing himself almost as though he expected the doctor to scold him. Jin felt a tug within his chest and took a deep breath himself, wanting to ensure that Jimin never once thought he was upset or disappointed with him. 

“Hey, it’s okay.” Jin said quietly. “I know you’re scared.” 

Jimin sighed. “No. I’m pathetic.” 

“Stop.” It was Taehyung’s voice that came before Jin had a chance to respond himself. “You’re doing fine. I’m here. I don’t think you’re pathetic. And neither does he.” Taehyung nodded his head in the direction of Jin and his large dark eyes followed, seeking affirmation. “Right?” 

“Taehyung is right.” Jin was more than happy to back Taehyung up and to his pleasant surprise, the pep talk seemed to work because Jimin was staring at Jin, ruddy cheeks but confident eyes. Slowly, he extended his hand back towards the doctor. 

“Can we try again? B-but can you just do it?” 

Jin felt the corner of his lip twitching towards the shape of a smile. “Sure, Jimin. I’ll count for you. Just keep breathing. Okay?” 

Gingerly, Jin took Jimin’s hand and though he moved a little more swiftly, it was no less tender as he positioned himself so that he was ready to begin. 

“One.. two…” Jin looked up and saw Jimin’s eyes closed, his fingers wound tightly around Taehyung’s hand and holding on tight. “Three.” 

Quickly, so quickly, the needle plunged down and pierced Jimin’s fingertip. Almost immediately, a little red bead appeared and Jin carefully pressed the test strip against it to collect the sample. Gently, Jin let go of Jimin’s hand. 

“That’s it!” 

Jimin opened his eyes, first glanced down at his finger and then quickly back up to Jin, confusion apparent in his expression. 

“That’s it?” His eyebrows crinkled a crinkled a little, obviously in disbelief that that was really all there was to the test. 

“That’s it. You did great.” Jin smiled as he fed the test strip into the monitor. In a second, the results appeared and as Jin expected, his blood sugar was low. Not disastrously so, but enough to be able to pinpoint that it was the cause of the fainting. “As expected, your sugar is low. Not enough that we need to worry, but we do need to get you fed.” Jin remembered at that moment the pack of Hi-Chew candies in his shoulder bag.

“One second.” Quickly, he crossed the room and fished them out. Carrying them back, he tore at the package and fished a few out. 

“Eat these.” Jin handed the candies to Jimin, who to his relief, tore at the paper on one of the candies right away and popped chewy mango flavoured treat into his mouth without fussing the way he had over the chocolate bars. 

“So he’ll be okay?” Hoseok asked.

“Yes, Jimin should be fine, especially after he eats.” Jin replied with a gentle smile. 

“Thank god.” Taehyung groaned as he stretched his arms out and over his head. “I’m starving.” 

Namjoon cleared his throat. “Doctor, does he need to eat something specific?” 

Jin was thankful that Jimin had such good friends. It would be difficult, Jin imagined, to have to live in the dorms with and otherwise, spend so much time with your coworkers, your group mates, unless you grew close. 

“Not anything specific, per se…” Jin started whilst maintaining eye contact with Namjoon. “It should be nutritious and calorie dense, however.” 

“I want fried chicken.” A boy with wavy and slightly longer hair spoke up as his eyes widened in an excited way. 

“Jungkook, we should let Jimin choose.” Namjoon responded in a tone that was decidedly father like. 

“I don’t know. Anything is fine.” Jimin shrugged, he sounded tired and maybe a little bit annoyed. Before he could think about Jimin’s angst for too long, a voice interrupted his string of thoughts. 

“Have you eaten, Doctor?” Namjoon asked and Jin hadn’t expected that at all. 

Truthfully, he was starving. He hadn’t eaten before the date, despite his best efforts to swallow half of a granola bar, he’d just been too anxious. Also truthfully, his body ached with exhaustion and his head was starting to hurt, too. The thing he wanted to do most was to go home, complicated by the fact that his car wasn’t here and he’d have to call an Uber. 

“Not yet, I think we were on our way to that when I got this call.” 

Several pairs of eyes were suddenly on him and Jin felt a flutter of nerves. He’d said too much. Scolding himself, he wondered why he hadn’t just said yes, he had eaten. It would have prevented the questioning stares that he was now faced with. 

“We?” Hoseok was the brave one who spoke first, eyes glimmering and a huge grin creeping over his lips. 

“I was just out with a friend.” Jin said quietly, trying to act calm and casual but knowing from the heat on his cheeks that he was a blushing mess. 

“A girl?” The wavy haired Jungkook quipped with so much hope in his voice that Jin couldn’t help but chuckle at the absurdity of it. 

— 

He’d never been much for girls. It hadn’t been for a lack of trying, either. Jin knew of course now, that the depths of ones sexual preference ran far deeper than choice. It hadn’t always been a matter that he could chuckle over, either. In high school, it was a great source of angst and stress. All he ever wanted to do, was to fit in, but it was hard when it became painfully obvious that you were nothing like any of your friends or peers. 

Before puberty, when girls and boys played mostly separately for fear of catching cooties, Jin had no trouble fitting in. It helped, he supposed, that until ninth grade he attended an all boys school. When he started at the academy for gifted students in Seoul, Jin expected that his biggest struggle would be keeping up his 95% average with the advanced math classes he’d enrolled in. 

During the third week, a school dance was announced. The few friends Jin had made were all male and suddenly their lunch time conversations shifted from anime to which girl would they be asking to the dance. Every time the question circled around to him, Jin felt like a fish out of water. Hadn’t he noticed Min-Seok? What about Jiji? He had noticed that Choa had scored the highest grade on the pop quiz. But, when he brought her up, hoping that the quick answer would spare him some teasing, he was completely wrong. 

“Choa? Jin likes Choa!?” One of them shrieked, loud enough for the girl with thick ebony hair and red rimmed glasses to look up from her book. 

At first, Jin had wanted to defend himself. But when the taunting turned even more mean spirited, pointing out that Choa would probably have to research kissing before they went on a date, Jin just felt guilty and sad for the girl that he didn’t even know. Total strangers, but being taunted together. 

“I like smart girls.” Jin finally mumbled, feeling the weight of his friends eyes on him and then hearing the sound of their cackling. 

“Smart girls. Yeah, that’s hot. Just like Stuffy SeokJin..” Someone retorted. 

“They can just study together” Someone else bellowed. 

For the rest of ninth grade, Jin ate lunch by himself. 

In the middle of tenth grade, Jin finally made a friend. Jae-ho had transferred from a school in Busan and with his accent, came a lot of teasing. Teasing had become something that Jin had accustomed to, the alpha male types were still giving him a hard time about missing every school dance, about never holding hands with a girl in the hall, why didn’t his locker even have k pop posters? Jin had given up on defending himself, hopeful that those feelings he was supposed to feel were yet to come. 

Instead, as he grew closer to Jae, he felt other feelings emerge. The sound of his laugh made him not only laugh too, but gave him a warm sensation inside - especially if the source of the laughter was one of Jin’s jokes. The two started spending almost every afternoon together, separated by a thirty minute subway ride that they took turns making. Sometimes they studied together, Jae struggled a little bit with chemistry and Jin was happy to help tutor him until his grade was in the high eighties. If they weren’t studying, they usually played games on Jin’s XBOX or pored over Jae’s impressively large collection of manga. Love was never brought up, neither was dating. Girls, were never discussed. 

As the end of the school yard loomed, Jin remembered that he had been looking forward to the summer, thinking about all the time he could spend with his friend and the things he had missed out on the season before, having had no one invite him on a trip to the beach or for a day at the amusement park. While he was writing his final exams, his mind had been full of hope and ideas, rather than math, science or literature. 

But, the summer had been nothing like that. When Jin met up with Jae after the final exam had been written and submitted, he expected that they’d celebrate with pizza and Grand Theft Auto. Instead, Jae wore a solemn expression as he broke the news to Jin, that his parents were forcing him to attend orchestra camp for the summer to practice his cello skills. 

The first week of summer felt the longest with Jin spending most of it at his desk. Jae had promised to text him as much as he could, but as the days wore on, the frequency of the texts wore off. By the second week, most of Jin’s messages were being ignored. 

It felt like rejection, which was confusing, because friends had been too busy to reply before. He knew he’d be lonely playing video games by himself, but the void that Jae’s absence had created was deeper than he expected it to be. No longer did he have his friend to laugh with or tell every tiny detail to. Jin’s mother suggested that he get a job to fill the time and because he couldn’t think of a good reason not to, Jin got a job at an ice cream shop, scooping cones for his mostly juvenile clientele. 

The work gave him a distraction during the day which kept him from thinking about Jae quite as much, but at night, it was another story altogether. 

The first time it happened, Jin hadn’t remembered the dream, simply woke up with wet sheets and a semi hard cock that felt far more sensitive to the touch than he was used to. Though it wasn’t his first wet dream, it became obvious fairly quickly that the thoughts - the subconscious ideas that shaped his dreams, were nothing like what Jin had thought of before. 

And when Jin did start remembering the dreams, he began to panic. It started with kissing, kissing someone shadowy and mysterious, their face was never clear. As time went on, the dreams started to become more vivid. Strong, masculine hands that slid under his chest and the feeling of muscles under his own hands when he touches back. Hips moving against each other, grinding into a heated friction that would wake Jin up, soaked sheets and fuzzy thoughts. And finally, when the face appeared, it was Jae. 

More and more summer days went by and the dreams continued. Jin used the idle time at his workplace to try and decipher what it meant, feeling confused about how he had never realized his attraction to Jae when they’d been spending time together. Feeling nervous about facing him, about him somehow finding out, though Jin knew he lacked the courage to ever confide with Jae that he had dreamt about him in that way. 

When the summer ended and grade eleven began, Jin expected to meet up with Jae before the first bell. He remembered the knot of nerves in his stomach about seeing his friend, and even more distinctly, he remembered the nervous flutter of butterflies when Jae walked through the heavy front doors of the school and gave him his signature smile. And seconds later, how that excitement crumbled when a shrill, feminine voice cut through his focus and called again, Jae’s name. Jae turned towards the sound of the voice and smiled a huge smile, the same one Jin was so used to seeing, directed towards him. The thin girl with painted red lips and long false eyelashes scampered up towards Jae and threw her arms around Jae-ho. Jin could only look on, feeling suddenly as though he were with strangers instead of his best friend and his seemingly new girlfriend. Not ten minutes before, Jin had felt nothing but excitement to see Jae. Now he couldn’t wait to get away from him and to class. 

“Jin, this is my girlfriend, Mi-Sun.” 

There had been an obvious change in Jae-ho, the friend he had said goodbye to in the early summer now so different in the fall. The lack of communication suddenly made sense. Mi-Sun had replaced hjm. 

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m SeokJin.” Jin extended his hand and Mi-Sun shook it with her tiny one. 

Mi-Sun seemed sweet, and she was definitely pretty. At least, he supposed so. He wasn’t attracted to her, but he could still look at her and see well enough that she was the typical type that straight guys were into. But still, the land of disappointment sat like a lump in his throat. He had foolishly thought that Jae was maybe like him, because after all,they’d never talked about girls. Now he didn’t know what he knew about Jae to be true and what wasn’t. 

The warning bell rang, signalling class would be starting soon and Jin felt relief as he waved goodbye. As he walked to class, he accepted two realizations, swallowing them like bitter pills. One, his friendship with Jae would never be the same and two, he wished he was Mi-Sun. He didn’t want to be a girl, but he did want to call Jae his. He knew that his time with his friend would be limited or shared and he hated the jealousy that nipped at him and he hated the heavy ache in his heart, even more. 

Slowly, the friendship crumbled as Jae inevitably chose to spend his time with Mi Sun, again and again. Jin poured his focus into school with the fresh inspiration of becoming a doctor, his studies required all of his attention and over time, the ache in his chest became less and less, but the realization remained that he was gay. 

It took another couple of years for the guilt and shame to ease into confidence, even pride. While homosexuality was anything but embraced in South Korea, Jin had slowly learned to accept himself and his life and when he met Youngjae in university, he finally met someone else who understood what he had been through. Like two missing puzzle pieces, the friends just clicked. Seeing Youngjae live confidently as an openly gay man helped Jin accept that he could live the same way without shame. 

— 

“Do you have a girlfriend?” Taehyung’s low voice snapped Jin back into the reality of the moment. 

“No.” Jin shook his head. 

Silence hung in the atmosphere and Jin could feel the blush rising on his cheeks again. The heat beginning beneath his skin as he wondered if the questions would cease, hoped they would. He wasn’t closeted by any means nor would he deny the answer, but, he didn’t feel it crucial to reveal, if he didn’t absolutely need to. Straight people didn’t tell people they were straight, Jin had always rationalized. 

“Oooooh.” Hoseok grinned. “How about a-“ 

“Shut up, Hobi.” 

A voice that Jin didn’t recognize and when he followed the sound, his eyes fell upon a mint haired young man with a petite frame. His eyes were narrowed and his voice was firm, but Jin felt a warmth towards him, an appreciation for the fact he’d be spared from revealing his sexuality. 

“I’m hungry. I just want to eat. The doctor’s personal love life is none of our business.” He rattled on and Hoseok’s smile had long since faded. 

“Yoongi is right.” Namjoon confirmed. “I only asked because I thought he might want to join us for dinner.” Namjoon looked from the group of guys surrounding him and over to Jin. 

Jin felt conflicted about the offer. Sure, his stomach was aching to eat. But, naturally a little more introverted and long since exhausted from his day, Jin wanted to be at home, sooner rather than later. 

“You should come with us. It can be our way of saying thank you.” 

Jin was a little surprised to hear Jimin invite him, and the sincerity in his tone really did tug at him. It felt it would be to toe the borderline of unprofessional, however, to share a casual meal with six younger acquaintances. He hardly knew all of their names, after all. JImin stared at him with kind, hopeful eyes and Jin sighed softly. He felt bad that he’d disappoint him, but he also knew that it was the right choice. 

“It’s probably for the best I head home. I need to call for a ride.” 

“Your car isn’t here?” Namjoon frowned, his brows knitting towards each other. “We can drive you. Not me, exactly. I don’t have my license.” He smiled and blushed a little bit. He was such an expressive person, Jin noted, it was endearing to watch the way his handsomely unique features lit up with each of his emotions. He was easy to read and Jin could tell that he was the type of person who wore his heart on his sleeve. They weren’t unalike. “But we can have our driver take you with us when we go out to eat. There’s no need for you to call for any ride.”

“Please?” Jimin said. “At least agree to that?” 

“I got dropped off by my friend.” Jin responded, feeling a little bit anxious as he thought about Colin for half of a second. He wondered if he had any messages on his phone but something in his stomach felt unsettled about the idea that he might not. He glanced quickly around the room and then back towards Jimin, who was still watching him carefully. “I would really appreciate the ride home, thank you. It’s not too far from here.” 

“Where are we going to eat? Can we get sushi?” Jin recognized the quiet, mint haired one who was suddenly sitting up straight. He’d looked so stern before, Jin had thought, whilst the younger had stepped in and spared him any further pestering questions. But now, he looked as soft and sweet as the rest of the group. Jin looked forward to getting to know all of them. 

“Sushi would be good. Is there somewhere still open?” Jimin finally looked away from Jin and towards Yoongi in response to his question, and then down towards his watch with a frown on his thick lips. 

“Mizu is open until two am. We’re good.” Hoseok grinned as he looked up from his phone and around the room. 

Jin quietly packed up the doctor’s bag while the rest of the guys packed up their belongings, slowly gathering at the door. Jin couldn’t help but continue to steal glances towards Jimin, wanting to keep an eye on any signs of shakiness but feeling relieved that his patient seemed to be fine. Jin overheard Namjoon discussing the need to drop him off and it didn’t seem to cause any distress. A few more long feeling moments, and it was finally time to go.

The clock in the large van that they had all piled into glowed that it was approaching ten thirty PM. Jin stifled a yawn as he stared lazily out the window at the glowing lights of downtown Seoul as they drove through the dark streets. Some of the guys were talking, Namjoon and Yoongi discussing a rappers new mix tape. Taehyung and Jungkook discussing something in a video game whose title that Jin didn’t catch. Jimin was quiet, staring at his phone. 

After not too long at all, the van pulled into the parking lot of Jin’s apartment building. 

“Jimin, if you feel light headed at all, nauseous or dizzy, please call the clinic emergency line. You can ask to be transferred to me.” Jin explained before unbuckling his seatbelt. 

“Okay. Thank you again, Doctor. For everything.” 

Jin smiled, feeling the warmth of Jimin’s appreciation for him and knowing that the exhaustion he was feeling in his bones and his mind, too, was worth it. 

“You’re certainly welcome, I’m just doing my job. Now do yours and go get some supper.”

Jimin laughed, his eyes crinkling a little bit which made him decidedly adorable. Jin looked away but laughed a little as well and In a bid not to stare any longer, Jin carefully slipped from the van.

“Thank you again for the ride. Have a safe night.” 

Jin closed the van door after waving goodbye, and glanced around the parking lot and then towards the tall apartment building that he called home. Walking towards the entrance, Jin slipped his hand into the pocket of his coat, curious to see if Colin had been in touch with him. 

No new messages.


	12. Office Hours - Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Forewarning: This chapter as well as the next one both contain subject matter that may make some readers uncomfortable. I don't want to totally spoil it but I HAVE updated the tags to reflect because I feel honest disclosure is best. [enemas] If you do not want to read this, then I would suggest skipping the next two chapters, though you will miss another small detail. Not the end of the world but PLEASE read at your own risk and DO NOT come at me with hate in the comments :( I will also say I am not into scat, so there is not going to be ANY emphasis on that aspect of the procedure, it's more so a focus on Jin being a gentle and kind caregiver as he always is! 
> 
> So... all that said... please enjoy the chapter!

Office Hours - Eleven

As the weekend wore on, the thought of actually hearing from Colin seemed to wear off. The silence told him that most likely, the other man had not been impressed that Jin had ditched him for his job. Less likely, he was just nervous, or anxious, or maybe something happened. Whatever the reason, Jin tried not to think about it. Tried really hard until he just had to suck it up, swallow the disappointment and distract himself with his usual weekend activities. 

He did his grocery shopping, several loads of laundry and even bought a new book. Jin had considered inviting Youngjae over for dinner and drinks on Sunday evening, but the couch, as he discovered was just so comfortable the new book proved to be much more interesting and Jin decided that maybe he just needed the quiet time to unwind after a hectic week, anyway.

Between lazy turns of the pages, Jimin had crossed his mind several times, hoping that the younger boy was eating on a more regular schedule and enjoying some time off. He didn’t have to work on the weekend, did he? Jin wasn’t actually positive about that. There were definitely performances and events on weekends, after all. 

Jin had given the dating app a little bit of thought, he had almost opened it up several times to check the notifications that he could see he had. But something always stopped him. There had been so much anticipation for his date with Colin. After all of the time he had spent texting him and getting excited, it was all for nothing, it seemed. One week of messages, one great first date and then nothing. Jin didn’t see a point into rushing into disappointment again. Perhaps he had enough on his plate, anyway, with his new job, he thought to himself as he lay in bed on Sunday evening. 

—

The next morning, Jin found himself feeling a little more refreshed and less sore about the apparent rejection. He had no regrets about making the choice to go to the dance studio and take care of Jimin. Not only had it been the right choice, it had been the only choice he could have made. Jin understood that his role as a doctor - especially the particular type he was - he had a responsibility that extended outside of his office hours. If someone couldn’t understand that, they simply weren’t the right person for him. 

But where was the right person? It felt as though he had been single for a long time. He missed having someone to talk to in the evening after work, or go out to share a meal with. Jin had always loved date nights, thinking up creative plans to surprise his boyfriend with and seeing the look on his face when Jin revealed whatever it was he had planned. He was admittedly curious about the notifications from the app on his phone, and maybe that night after work, he rationalized, he’d take another look. Maybe. 

As he waited in line at the cafe to order his coffee, he allowed his mind to wander to his patients for the day, wondering if he might see someone that he had seen before or someone from the Bangtan group. Jin took his cup of light roast from the barista and carried it to the dairy counter to fix it up the way he liked. When he was finished, he relished the first sip, closing his eyes as the hot liquid travelled over his tongue and lit his senses up. He truly loved coffee.

At the office, Katy greeted him with a familiar smile before handing him his schedule for the day. Jin’s eyes wandered over the names as he carried it towards his office, the first three he didn’t recognize, but the final name on the list was Kim Taehyung, from Big Hit Entertainment. Jin was fairly certain that that was the same Taehyung that he’d met a few days prior, and he glanced towards the secondary box of information that told him that he was coming in with abdominal pains. Probably nothing too serious, and Jin found that he was sort of looking forward to seeing the friend of Jimin’s. Some of the idols were admittedly a little bit stuck up, paying more attention to their phone than him or acting as though he was a major inconvenience. Bangtan, however, had been nothing but warm and welcoming towards him and he also appreciated how close they seemed to be with each other. Some of them seemed like they could really use the support that a reliable friendship could provide. 

After Jin had hung up his coat in his office, he sat down at his small desk, organizing some paperwork that Katy had left for him. He had about an hour before his first appointment, which was a simple prescription refill for allergy medicine, nothing that gave him any need to feel anxious. Anxious, however, he did feel when there was a sudden knock on the door.

“Come in?” He called out, setting the last of the papers in their place in his small filing drawer and closing it just as the door swung open.

Doctor Wang stepped inside. “Good morning, Doctor Seokjin. I was just wondering if we could chat for a few minutes?”

“Sure.” Jin wanted to sound calm and collected, but already he felt a twinge of anxiety. Was he in trouble? The older doctor didn’t look angry or upset in any way, but still, he felt a little bit on edge. He was really enjoying his new job, after all, and the last thing he wanted to do was do something that would cause a rift or a disruption in his employment.

“I was just wanting to follow up on the emergency call on Friday night. How did you make out with Mr. Park?” Doctor Wang’s eyes followed Jin over the tops of his thin rimmed glasses.

“Oh, it went well.” Jin leaned against his desk a little bit, rolling a pen between his long fingers. “I determined that the fainting was due to a low blood sugar reading, I was able to test his levels and they were a little bit low. After talking to everyone I found out that he hadn’t eaten in over twenty four hours.”

Doctor Wang hummed a little bit, looking thoughtful as he watched Jin, as though he were rolling around the information that he’d been given within his mind. “DId you notice in Jimin’s charts, he does have a history of disordered eating.”

Jin chewed on his lip. He did recall reading over the notes about just that, that Jimin had struggled with bouts of anorexia and a lack of appetite. He had attended some counseling over a year ago but nothing since, and with the less dramatic weight loss, the problem seemed to have semi resolved. But, perhaps not. Jin suddenly felt a little nervous, worrying all over again about Jimin and what, how much, had he eaten over the weekend,   
“I do remember reading that. Do you feel it’s something we should be concerned about again?”

Doctor Wang hummed in response again. “Maybe not at this exact moment. I would certainly not be the best one to approach this with Jimin, we have a...” There was a pause, the older doctor looked away from Jin and immediately, the anxiety in his chest only semed to double, twisting and coiling like an angry snake, ready to strike. What had happened between them? He wanted to know, but he was afraid to know, as well. 

“A checkered history,” 

Jin couldn’t help himself, with his heart pounding and his mouth feeling dry, he took a deep breath and spoke quietly. “May I ask…” 

“Oh, just an incident over a year ago.” Doctor Wang looked away and Jin felt increasingly uneasy about what he was hearing. He knew at once that he wasn’t going to get the entire story, not today, at least. “Jimin is very sensitive. Very emotional.”

Jin nodded slowly, he wanted to ask more, wanted to pry every bit of history he could from the other doctor, but there was something dismissive in Doctor Wang’s tone that caused him to stay quiet. 

“I don’t see him anymore, it’s just easier that way.” Doctor Wang concluded in a way that confirmed with Jin that there would be no further discussion of the situation at that time. 

“I see.” Jin said quietly. “I’ve been able to work with him… easily enough, so far.”

“I’m glad, Seokjin.” Doctor Wang smiled at him before continuing. “Which leads me to the second thing I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Oh?” Jin asked, feeling a little confused about what more there could be to discuss. Doctor Wang was still smiling and he wanted to feel more at ease than he did, but something about the older professional just made him a little bit anxious. 

“When we elected to hire you, we picked you because we thought your age would help make you more relatable to the patients.” Doctor Wang explained. “It seems as though our suspicions were correct, I want to congratulate you on how impressed everyone here is with your work here at the clinic. You have made a most valuable addition to our team, Seokjin.”

Flustered, because he had never been very good at receiving compliments or praise, Jin just blushed as his eyes fell to his feet, staring at his well polished dress shoes. It felt humbling to receive such kind words from the head of the medical team and while he felt he may be pushing the envelope of professionalism at times with his patients, he was glad that his bedside manner was appreciated rather than discouraged. Jin had trusted his intuition each and every day he had entered the clinic and so far, it was serving him well. Finally, he lifted his eyes and gave Doctor Wang a shy smile, his cheeks on fire with a spreading blush.

“Thank you. That means a lot to me, sir.” He bowed slightly to show respect.

“Which leads me to the next topic of interest.” Doctor Wang cleared his throat before continuing. “Each year, the clinic hosts a sexual health workshop that the patients are encouraged to attend. Patients can submit questions anonymously before the event and they will be answered there. Because you have such an ability to connect with them, it seems, I was hoping you might be interested in hosting it, this year?”

Jin stared at the doctor a few long seeming moments, trying to absorb the multiple compliments as well as the request, all at once. It was a huge responsibility and he felt immediately nervous about standing up in front of a large group of people like that, but it also felt very flattering that Doctor Wang thought he was the best fit for the role. Though he had never done anything quite like it before, Jin felt confident that he could probably manage to make it work. So long as he had enough time to prepare…

“When is it, exactly?” 

“Not right away. It’s in six weeks, I’ll forward you all of the information in an email, if you’re interested.” Doctor Wang explained to him. “It’s no pressure, by the way. Doctor Chow lead it last year and would be happy to again.” 

“No, I’m very interested, and flattered that you thought to ask me. Thank you, Doctor.” Jin felt his heart beating a little faster in his chest as he responded quickly, looking into the other man’s eyes as he spoke, as to express that he was genuinely interested. 

“That’s wonderful.” Doctor Wang’s face lit up with a warm smile, his eyes crinkling at the side, looking truly pleased. “I’ll send you the information you need, and if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask any of us.” 

Jin nodded, thankful that there would be support available to him, should he need it. More than likely, he would, he rationalized with himself. It was difficult not to feel at least a little nervous about the event, a little apprehensive about if anyone would show up at all? But, Jin thought, that also wouldn’t be the worst. The worst that could happen… would be especially embarrassing questions, but, as a doctor, there wasn’t a lot that made him squeamish. Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad. But still, he worried that he may have bitten off a little more than he could chew.

—

Later in the afternoon, Jin was glancing through the documents that Doctor Wang had sent him regarding the past workshops. Most of the questions had been about birth control and sexually transmitted diseases, as well as the prevention of them. A few had been about masturbation and sex toys, which Jin thought might make him a little bit nervous, but, none of the questions seemed too crazy, either. Another fortunate discovery was the realization that he would be able to screen the questions and select only the ones he chose to answer. But was encouraged to answer as many as he could, of course. It would be entirely up to him as well if he chose to have an open question and answer period if time allowed, after the prepared questions had been finished with. Glancing at the clock, Jin felt a little startled to see that it was already ten minutes before four o’clock, Taehyung was probably waiting for him in the waiting room. Closing his browser tabs and then turning off his laptop, he tucked it into his bag and pushed the chair back from his desk. Jin stretched his arms above his head and felt his shoulders crack a little bit. He was a little bit tired, it had been a long feeling day with a lot of new information to absorb and he was thankful that Taehyung’s appointment would probably be fairly straight forward and brief.

After slipping his doctors coat over his broad shoulders, Jin let himself out into the hallway and wandered down to the waiting room. All but one of the chairs was empty, and as expected, Taehyung sat in baggy grey sweatpants and a black pullover hoodie with his head ducked towards his Nintendo Switch.

“Kim Taehyung?” Jin spoke just loud enough for Taehyung to hear him and when the younger boy looked up, he gave him a smile when their eyes met in a familiar feeling stare.

Taehyung gave him a small smile back, looking decidedly more shy than he had before when he had been taking care of Jimin. Jin couldn’t feel too surprised by that, it was normal to feel nervous at the doctors office, so Jin made it his mission to try and set him at ease right away.

“How are you doing?” Jin spoke softly when Taehyung came to stand near him, waiting to be led back to the office.

“I’m okay, thank you. How are you, Doctor?”

“I’m well, thank you. Shall we head back?” Jin glanced down the hall and then back into Taehyung’s dark eyes.

“Sure.” Taehyung nodded in agreement.

It was a quiet walk back to the office and when Jin opened the door, Taehyung ducked his head a little bit as he slipped past him, looking even more nervous and shy than he had before. Jin chewed on his lip, wondering if it wasn’t going to be a straightforward appointment after all. Or if abdominal pains were the true nature of the visit, in memory of Yeonjun who had been too shy to state the true nature of his visit.

“You can have a seat up on the table, if you like.” Jin said as he closed the door. 

Jin listened to Taehyung’s feet on the floor and then the sound of the paper sheet on the bed crinkling as he pulled himself up. Meanwhile, the doctor wandered over to his small counter, turning the water on to wash his hands and then pull on a fresh pair of latex gloves. Finally, he turned around and faced Taehyung, giving him a gentle smile as he sauntered over, filling the space between them and leaning against the side of the examination bed. Close, but not too close. 

“So, tell me what brings you in.” 

“Um…” Taehyung shuffled a bit, the paper crinkling and crunching beneath the shifting of his weight. “It’s a bit embarrassing.”

Jin hummed softly. “Abdominal pains? That’s nothing to be embarrassed about… do you know what the cause of them might be?”

Truthfully, abdominal pains could be caused by any number of things. It could be something minor, like indigestion or constipation. It could also be something serious, like appendicitis or even another issue with an organ. Jin wouldn’t be surprised at all if Taehyung didn’t know exactly what was causing the discomfort, but he thought that if he had been dishonest about the pain, this might be one way to encourage him to tell the truth. Jin looked over towards Taehyung, who was staring down at his feet and still looking as shy as ever.

“The cause is what’s embarrassing.” He finally offered after a long moment. 

Jin sighed softly. It was time for another approach. Gone was the confident Taehyung that he had met on the night of Jimin’s emergency. Here instead, was a shy and scared boy who suddenly seemed much younger than the twenty three years that his records told him he was and very much in need of a gentle touch. 

“Hey.” Jin spoke softly as he moved just a little bit closer. “I want you to know that there isn’t much you can say to me that I haven’t heard. So there’s no reason to feel nervous. Or ashamed. Okay?” 

Taehyung’s eyes widened a little bit as he held Jin’s gaze, listening to each and every thing that the doctor was telling him and absorbing it. A deep breath, the softening of the younger boys shoulders and Jin could tell that he was relaxing, even if just a little bit. His pink tongue darted out and washed over his dry lips parted as though he were about to say something, but then closed again, another soft sigh of defeat. Another deep breath. Jin admired his determination and gave him another tiny smile.

“Okay.” Taehyung started. “I haven’t been able to go to the bathroom for a few days.”

Jin let out the breath that he realized he had been holding himself. That was a simple explanation for Taehyung’s stomach pains, and one that had many easy solutions that he could offer. Jin felt relieved that he would be able to assure Taehyung that the discomfort would only be temporary. There was almost definitely a laxative pill inside of the pharmacy cabinet that he could offer Taehyung without a prescription, even to save him the trip and the potential of an embarrassing transaction at the counter. Not that it should be anything to be ashamed of, but, Jin knew that it would be a little more sensitive for a person of his status to be seen picking up laxatives at the drugstore. But when Jin looked again at Taehyung, the younger boy still looked so nervous and scared. 

“Oh, sweetie.” Jin felt his cheeks blushing deep, immediately regretting having used the affectionate term. “Don’t be ashamed of that. It happens to everyone!” He added quickly as his heart pounding, anxious that Taehyung would feel creeped out by the name.

“Does it?” Taehyung asked with wide eyes. “I’ve had this problem since I was young. I never talk about it.”

Jin stepped a bit closer and gave him a gentle smile. “Of course, it’s actually very common. Tell me, what do you usually do… when it happens? Do you take something?”

Taehyung nodded. “I have these senna pills.. It’s just… I took one last night… and it didn’t work.” Taehyung frowned. “They always do. That’s why I’m so nervous.”

Jin nodded, understanding that for Taehyung it would definitely be a little bit scary when something that usually helped the uncomfortable problem, offered no relief at all. He had made the right choice coming in, but Jin was still sure that it would be an easy fix. Senna laxatives were one of the most gentle options available, and if he had been using them for some time before, it was entirely possible that his body had just become a little too accustomed to them. Jin was also certain that the laxatives at the clinic would be a little bit stronger and more efficient. Another possibility was that the medication had expired, which would have made it not dangerous to consume, but a lot less effective.

“I understand, Taehyung… There are a few possibilities as to why the pill didn’t work. You mentioned that you’ve taken them before, so, sometimes when we take medication regularly, our bodies build up a bit of a resistance to them.” Jin rambled on, thankful that the younger boy was watching him so intently, listening to his every word. He took a breath before he continued. “But, the good news is that I can offer you a different kind of pill. One that might work better for you.”

Taehyung chewed on his lip a little bit, looking unsure. “The problem is that it’s Yoongi-hyung’s birthday today. So tonight… we’re celebrating…” Taehyung shifted around again on the bed and paused.

Jin understood what the younger man was hinting at. It wasn’t going to be convenient to take a pill and be running to the bathroom every so often to relieve himself, in the middle of a social function. Still, the easy solution was to just take it after the event, then.

“So, take it afterwards…?” Jin volunteered.

Taehyung sighed. “It’s just…. It…. Hurts a lot.” 

Jin sighed, wishing that he could give him a hug or at least reach out and stroke his arm to offer some sort of comfort to the shy and uncomfortable looking boy beside him. Admittedly, Taehyung was nothing like he had expected him to be, but, it wasn’t a bad thing whatsoever as well. No wonder he and Jimin seemed to relate to each other and connect so well. Jin felt guilty that he was unsure of any solution he could really offer Taehyung besides the pill… I mean there were other options for constipation… such as an enema...but Jin didn’t think that Taehyung was going to be interested in… that option. Jin had remembered seeing the enema kit in the supply cabinet and thinking that it couldn’t actually see much use. 

“Doctor?” Taehyung’s voice sounded so small.

“Y-yes?” Jin asked, feeling entirely unsure of where Taehyung was leading this new trail of conversation. 

“There’s… um... “ Taehyung started and then paused, his cheeks turning a deep scarlet shade of red and his voice barely louder than a whisper when he continued. “I… there was something…. My grandmother used to do to help me when this happened…” 

Jin’s mind reeled back as though someone had pressed rewind. Literally seconds before, he had thought of offering Taehyung an enema but immediately retracted it again. It felt a little uncanny that their minds had seemingly been on the same page all along and with a deep, shaking breath, Jin decided to trust his intuition the way he had every time before.

“Do you mean an enema?” 

Taehyung nodded.

“We can do that.”


	13. Office Hours - Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It goes without saying that this wasn't the easiest chapter to write. I tried really hard to focus on the dynamic between Tae and Jin rather than the scene itself and I am hopeful that I won't offend anyone with this content. That being said, if you are adverse to the idea of Taehyung receiving an enema from Jin, I would just skip this chapter. You'll miss out on some TaeTae backstory but you won't have a huge plot hole if you decide to skip. Please read with caution and be kind! <3

Office Hours - Twelve

As Jin made his way to the supply room to retrieve the enema kit, he half wondered if he would return to an empty room. Poor Taehyung had watched him with wide eyes while Jin had explained that he could stay mostly dressed if that was more comfortable, the whole procedure could be performed with just his sweatpants slid down while he laid on his side. It had become obvious that the more Jin discusses what was going to happen, the more nervous Taehyung became, squirming and fidgeting on the table. Jin had even asked him if he was sure he wanted to continue and bravely, Taehyung nodded yes and so Jin had left him alone while he retrieved what he would need, hoping the privacy might help him relax a little bit. The procedure had been Taehyung’s own suggestion but he couldn’t help but feel a little bit awkward about it, knowing that his patient would almost certainly be at least slightly embarrassed or uncomfortable. 

Inside of the small room, the enema kit had been easy to find. He gathered the supplies he needed, including the bag, the tube, the nozzle and the castor soap. He knew he had a hook he could hang the bag from so he decided he was ready, but found that he wished he could pause for another moment or two. For some reason, this particular procedure was causing anxiety that felt different than what he had felt before any other appointment at the clinic thus far, even different from just the other night when he had rushed to Jimin. With a sigh, Jin headed for the door, knowing intuitively that if he was nervous, Taehyung could only be even more so. 

Inside of his small but comfortable office, Jin closed the door behind him and looked to the table, feeling the knot within his chest only tighten at the sight before him. Taehyung with his face in his hands and shoulders slumped. He was completely still and so Jin was sure that he wasn’t crying, but honestly, he had looked as though he could be on the verge of it. Jin felt a lump rising in his throat as he set down the items in his hands gingerly onto the top of his small counter.

“Taehyung?” 

Wide eyes the colour of bittersweet cocoa met his with a surprised expression, followed by a creeping blush on his cheeks. He’d been startled out of his little world and Jin felt as though he were intruding. 

“Are you feeling okay?” Jin continued quietly, feeling his heart pounding as his tongue washed over his dry lips and he studied his patient, who despite looking outwardly calm, was so obviously a mess just beneath the surface. Jin could commend his ability to be so stoic but wanted to wrap him in a hug as well, tell him that he was doing so well and that he should relax, that they didn’t even need to continue… there were other options. “Did you still want to continue?”

“Yes.” Taehyung spoke with more confidence than Jin could have expected, holding his gaze as strongly as though he were clutching his hands. A deep breath, Taehyung’s broad shoulders rising and then falling, slowly. “I’m just nervous. A little.”   
“Well…” Jin began, pausing between his words. “That’s to be expected, I’d say.’ 

Taehyung’s lips twitched a little bit, as though he’d been about to smile, but they fell back into a straight line again, his cheeks turning a deeper shade. “I didn’t… want to ask. But. I…” Taehyung’s eyes fell away from Jin’s for a moment and then looked back as he continued to speak. “I don’t think I can wait any longer. It hurts a lot.” Taehyung wrapped his arms around himself a little bit, his long fingers stroking his lower abdomen which was probably quite sore and crampy feeling. “I can’t miss Yoongi’s party tonight… and I can’t imagine eating anything else when I already feel this…” Taehyung’s voice trailed away, his eyes landing on the floor as he shifted uncomfortably on the bed.

“Full?” Jin suggested, feeling at least a little bit relieved that Taehyung had opened up to him again. He was a little bit more talkative than Jimin, but his vulnerability reminded him a little bit of his first patient. 

“Yeah.” Taehyung nodded. “I just want to feel better.”

Jin sighed softly and then gave Taehyung a slight smile as he took another step towards him. “Why don’t you lay down and we can help you feel better. You can leave your pants on or you can take them off.” Jin could feel his heart pounding again, but, just as he had in other situations that made him nervous, he trusted his intuition, the voice that rose just a little bit above all of his worries and assured him that he was on the right path. 

Taehyung studied Jin’s face for a moment and then nodded his head. “I… guess I’ll just take them off, it might be easier. H-how should I lay? It’s been so long since I’ve done this an-” 

“Shh.” Jin murmured softly, “Just take a deep breath, okay?” 

Taehyung nodded, but instead of breathing in like Jin had asked him to, his chest remained tense and tight. The exact opposite of relaxing. Jin exhaled quietly and then gave Taehyung another smile. “Deep breath?”

Taehyung let out the breath he’d been holding and then drew another, his body still tense and rigid.

“Again.” Jin instructed.

Taehyung sighed in an exasperated sort of way, but nevertheless, obliged Jin’s request, this time, drawing even more air into his lungs. 

“That’s better.” Jin said quietly. “Just keep breathing, there’s no rush.”

The room was silent, save for the sound of Taehyung’s careful breathing, and Jin waited until he noticed that the younger boys muscles had relaxed, his neck no longer looked tense and his knees weren’t trembling the way they’d been before.

“Why don’t you lay down on your side? I can even give you a blanket.”

“Really?” Taehyung asked.

“Yeah, hold on.” Jin nodded, knowing that in the small closet in his own examination room, there was a small blanket that could be used as a privacy sheet. It was still in it’s plastic packaging, brand new and waiting to be used. 

As Jin turned away and moved towards the closet to retrieve the blanket, he heard the sound of the paper crunching as Taehyung shifted, assumably to take his pants off. Jin felt relieved that he seemed to be feeling better, and he couldn’t help but feel a little better about the whole thing himself. If nothing else, Taehyung seemed to be starting to trust him, and well, that was a big part of the battle. With the blanket in his hands, Jin turned back towards the table and found Taehyung sitting in just his t shirt and a pair of loose fitting boxer briefs. His legs were long and tanned, stretched out over the side of the table and making him look much older and bigger than he’d seemed before. Taehyung slid his hands into his lap and gave Jin a shy smile.

“Here you go.” Jin said quickly, finding that his eyes had followed Taehyung’s hands a little bit and he looked away as fast as he could, but not before he’d noticed that the swell in the boys underwear was… generous, to say the least.

“Thank you.” Taehyung took the blanket and put it over his lap, seeming totally oblivious to Jin’s embarrassment or the fact that he might have noticed anything. “So… just on my side?

“Y-yeah.” Jin swallowed as he turned away again, this time to retrieve the enema kit. “Just on your side is perfect, whenever you’re ready.”  
As Jin picked up the supplies that he needed from the counter, he could hear the paper on the bed shifting again as Taehyung laid down. Carefully, Jin wheeled over the hanger where he’d put the enema bag and set it up beside the table. With Taehyung facing the wall, the younger boy couldn’t see anything that Jin was doing as he began to set up in preparation for the procedure. First, carrying the enema bag to the sink to fill it while he cleared his throat and decided that distracting Taehyung would probably help fill the awkward silence that would fill the next few moments before he began. Jin could appreciate that it would probably feel as though time had slowed to a stop for Taehyung as he stared at the wall and anticipated the worst. Which really, wouldn’t be so bad, Jin reasoned, because he’d be careful and gentle, and make it as easy for Taehyung as he possibly could.

“So, where did you guys end up going to eat the other night?” Jin asked as he carefully added just the right amount of water to the bag before reaching for the small packet of castor soap that he’d mix in to create the solution.

“Oh.” Taehyung seemed a little caught off guard, but his tone was gentle, rather than accusing or angry that Jin had changed the subject. “Um, just a barbecue place, over on Daehangno.” 

“I love barbecue, especially pork belly.” Jin admitted as he mixed the soap into the water, using a popsicle stick to stir up the mixture.

“Me too.” Taehyung agreed quickly. “But, pork belly probably didn’t help my current situation.” He added, with a nervous laugh.

“Maybe not.” Jin agreed. “But, you’ll feel better soon.”

Jin made his way back over to the table with the enema bag, securing it on the hanger that he’d lined up beside the bed. Taehyung shifted a little bit but remained quiet, probably listening carefully to each of Jin’s movements. “We’re almost ready to start. Do you mind if I ask… when was the last time you had this done?” Jin chewed on his lip a little bit, feeling his own skin burning a little bit with a nervous blush. He didn’t mean to embarrass Taehyung further, just wanted to get a grasp on how long it had been since the last time. 

“A long time… like when I was eight.”

Jin hummed and then wandered back over to his small counter, opening up a drawer and finding a tube of KY jelly and then reaching for a pair of latex gloves. Pulling the gloves over his hands, Jin made his way back to the table, where Taehyung was still laying on his side, facing away from him with the blue hospital style blanket draped over his long legs. Jin rested one hand on the table and then cleared his throat.

“I think we’re ready to begin. Did you want me to... “ Jin paused. Wondering exactly how best to word what he wanted to ask the younger boy. He wanted to know if Taehyung wanted him to explain each step… or just sort of go for it. Chewing on his lower lip, Jin watched Taehyung stir a little on the bed. “Did you want me to explain things as I go, or just tell you now what’s going to happen?”

Taehyung made a soft groaning sound and then was quiet for a few moments, seemingly considering Jin’s choices for him. “I think I’d rather just zone out during it… so tell me now. I guess.” 

“So, first I’m going to use my finger and some lubricant… to help prepare you to take the tube, which I’ll gently insert into your rectum.” Jin felt his cheeks blushing, the heat spreading from his cheeks to the tips of his ears. He’d spoken about much more graphic and sensitive matters before, but something about the situation was decidedly awkward in a way he wasn’t used to. “Once the tube is inside of you, I’ll take the clamp off which will release the contents of the bag which will then…” Jin paused, there wasn’t exactly an eloquent way to describe what he needed to. “Will then help flush out and soften what’s causing you trouble.” 

“O-okay.” Taehyung spoke, barely louder than a whisper.

“At any time, you can say so, and we’ll stop. Okay?” Jin said. “Don’t feel as though you need to finish what’s in the bag, your body will tell you when you’ve had enough… and you need to go. And at that time, I’ll help you get to the bathroom over there.” Jin gestured towards the door, even though Taehyung couldn’t see, as he was facing away and as his heart began to pound even faster, he could only hope that his intuition would guide him through this smoothly. So far, it felt like even though he was clutching the steering wheel and trying desperately to be in control, his hands were shaking and his doubts threatening to rise, fighting just beneath the glassy surface of composure. 

“Wh-what if…” Taehyung’s voice trailed off and though Jin had initially expected him to resume, when he didn’t, the doctor knew he’d need to coax the rest of the words from him.

“What if what?” Jin asked, keeping his voice soft and quiet. “You can ask me anything.” He added.

“What if… there’s an… accident.”  
Jin let out a slow breath and felt himself smile just a little, to himself. Of course, Taehyung would worry about such a thing. Jin probably would himself, but, as a doctor, that sort of thing had become second nature long ago. Taehyung had nothing to worry about, but Jin knew that convincing him of such was easier said than done.

“Then it gets cleaned up. It’s not a big deal…” Jin felt a bad joke resting on the tip of his tongue and he decided he had nothing else to lose at that point. “Shit happens?”

Taehyung made a startled sort of gasp but then laughed quietly, his shoulders shaking and he turned his body on the bed, just enough that his dark eyes found Jin’s. It appeared as though the younger boy wanted to say something, but instead just stared for a long moment, leaving Jin feeling a bit restless, truth be told. Jin watched him for another second or two and then nibbled at his lip before clearing his throat.

“Do you feel ready to begin?”

Taehyung nodded, but his eyes remained fixed on the doctors, his lips slightly parted and his chest rising and falling slowly as he breathed. He was so much more relaxed than he’d been before and Jin was grateful for that, because he’d need him to be as calm as possible for what was about to happen next. After what felt like several long minutes but had probably been forty five seconds, Taehyung rolled over and faced the wall, moving his hands slowly towards the hem of his boxer shorts.

“Doctor?” 

“Yes, Taehyung?” Jin asked as he sat down in the chair he planned to use for the procedure, rolling it close to the table and reaching for the tube attached to the enema bag. 

Jin hadn’t been sure what Taehyung was about to say, but he’d expected that it would probably be something else about being nervous. Perhaps a query about whether or not it was going to hurt. So, when Taehyung did respond, Jin was slightly caught off guard by what he offered as a response;

“Jimin was right about you being a good doctor.”

Jin felt his cheeks burning, this time instead of being nervous about the procedure it was because of the praise. He had been trying his best to make this as easy as he could for Taehyung, but he truthfully hadn’t been sure if he’d been successful. So, hearing Taehyung’s compliment, helped set him at ease and assure him that he was indeed accomplishing what he had hoped to.

“Um…” He started and immediately regretted the fact that he couldn’t just offer the younger boy an eloquent thank you, the way he deserved. “That’s really kind of you.” 

“It’s true.” Taehyung continued. “I mean… this… all sucks.” He sighed. “But, if it has to be someone doing this… I’m glad it’s you.” 

Jin felt humbled by Taehyung’s softly spoken words of praise, feeling proud of the fact that the younger boy who hardly knew him was able to trust him to help him with such a sensitive matter. 

“Thank you, Taehyung.” Jin said quietly, feeling awkward but in a different way than before, guilty that he had to turn the gentle conversation back towards the matter at hand. “I’m going to get started now, if you’d be able to pull your underwear down. When you’re ready, of course.” He added.

“Sure.” Taehyung responded, sounding surprisingly calm about what was about to happen and Jin felt increasingly at ease as he reached for the tube of KY jelly and began to unscrew the cap.

Taehyung moved the blanket so that his backside was exposed to Jin and then eased his long fingers into the sides of his boxers and slipped them down, exposing the round cheeks of his bottom and settling himself back down against the bed, his head resting on the small pillow as he tugged the blanket up a little bit to cover his front without obstructing Jin’s request. 

“I’m going to use my fingers first, just breathe for me while I apply some lubricant to you, it might feel sensitive and cold.”

Jin knew that Taehyung had asked that he talk less during the actual procedure but Jin just didn’t feel right about touching him in such an intimate way without some sort of preamble. Taehyung remained quiet, keeping his body still as he took several deep breaths, just as Jin had asked him to. Jin couldn’t help but notice how well he seemed to take direction, how compliant and easy he was to work with. It made the entire situation easier and if Jin were being honest, he was glad that out of all the patients it could be, it was Taehyung that he was about to proceed with. Carefully, Jin applied lubricant to his fingers and then eased them between Taehyung’s cheeks, using his other hand to gingerly hold him open. Taehyung jumped a little bit as the doctor applied pressure, using his gloved fingertips to ensure that lubricant was liberally applied to Taehyung’s pink, puckered entrance. From the way Taehyung squirmed, it was obvious he was sensitive and Jin pressed his finger once more to the rim of his hole, testing his reaction and knowing that it would probably be best if he used his finger to stretch him open a little before inserting the tube. 

‘Taehyung?”

“Yes, doctor?” 

“I want to … use my finger to make it easier to put the tube inside. Is it okay if I slip my finger inside of you, very gently?”

Taehyung drew in a sharp breath and squirmed, moving his body instinctively away from Jin’s hand for a moment but relaxing again quickly as he exhaled and breathed in again. “That’s fine.”

Jin breathed in himself, feeling relieved because he knew that if he could use his finger to open Taehyung up just a little, it would be easier for his body to accept the tube inside of him. Jin withdrew his fingers for a moment and reached for the tube of KY, squeezing a little bit more onto his glove and then moving back towards Taehyung.

“Okay, just take some deep breaths and tell me if you feel any sharp pain.” 

Taehyung squirmed a little bit and then took a deep breath and Jin paused, waiting until Taehyung took several more breaths before allowing his gloved fingers to gingerly slip back between his cheeks. Using his other hand, he carefully kept Taehyung’s cheeks spread and he could see his tight looking hole clenching around nothing as he gently worked his finger against the rim, preparing to slide it inside.

“Breathe in.” Jin said quietly and watched as Taehyung took a deep breath, obliging his request so easily. He was such a good boy. “Breathe out.” Again, Taehyung immediately responded to Jin’s voice, releasing the breath he’d been holding and as his muscles relaxed, Jin eased the tip of his finger past the first ring of muscle and heard Taehyung gasp sharply.

“Easy.” Jin whispered. “Just relax, okay? Keep breathing.” Jin paused his finger’s motions for a moment, waiting until Taehyung took several breaths before continuing to push the digit inside of the younger boys tight passage. Carefully, Jin allowed his finger to slide as far as it could go into Taehyung and he paused, working it just enough to help tame the tight muscles.

“Perfect, you’re doing so well.” Jin said quietly as he eased his finger out, worked the tip over Taehyung’s rim and then slowly slipped it inside one more time. 

Taehyung inhaled sharply, but his muscles quickly softened and he let out a shaky breath as Jin slid his finger in one more time, letting it pause and then carefully drawing it back out, satisfied that Taehyung’s muscles had relaxed sufficiently enough to make the procedure a little more comfortable.

“I think you’re ready now.” Jin told him, removing his finger and giving Taehyung a gentle pat on the side of his hips. “Just keep breathing for me.”

Reaching for the nozzle of the enema tube, Jin carefully picked it up and then reached with his other hand for the tube of lubricant. He applied a liberal amount of the thick jelly to the nozzle and the tube as well and then slid his chair a little closer to Taehyung, ready to begin.

“Here we go Taehyung, just let me know if you feel any pain and need me to stop.” Jin directed in a quiet voice as he moved the tip of the nozzle towards Taehyung’s entrance.

Taehyung inhaled sharply as Jin pressed the tip of the nozzle against him and applied just enough pressure to help ease the instrument inside the first ring of muscle and then slowly, carefully into him. 

“You’re doing great.” Jin praised quietly as he slipped just a little more than three inches of the tube inside of Taehyung, deep enough to ensure that the enema solution got to where it needed to go, but not far enough to cause Taehyung any additional discomfort. “And there we go, it’s in place now.” Jin told him as he withdrew his hand and gave Taehyung a gentle pat on the thigh. 

“That wasn’t so bad.” Taehyung spoke softly, shifting his body a little bit and then relaxing again.

Jin sighed, feeling relieved that the younger boy had been able to accept the first part of the procedure so easily and that he still seemed fairly relaxed. Despite being so nervous, he’d really been incredibly easy to work with and Jin felt a warm sense of pride in the fact that at least part of that must be owed to the fact that Taehyung seemed to really trust him. 

“I’m going to take the clamp off, which is going to allow the solution to flow down and into you. It might feel a little funny at first, but it shouldn’t hurt.” Jin explained as he reached for the clamp attached to the tube and when he noticed Taehyung exhale slowly, he released it and listened as the first of the liquid began to make its way down the tube and towards Taehyung.

For several moments, Taehyung just laid still as the solution flowed into him, breathing slowly and carefully. Jin began to feel himself relaxing, the worst was seemingly over now and it would just be a matter of time before Taehyung felt as though he felt full enough and would need to relieve himself. It could be a little embarrassing for the younger, but for Jin, the worst of the procedure had been completed in the sense that he had been most nervous about putting something inside of Taehyung, and they’d moved through that part easily enough. The quietness of the room was the only thing that felt awkward as Taehyung lay peacefully on the bed, blanket wrapped carefully around his strong thighs and his shoulders rising and falling as he breathed in and out.

“So…” Jin began. “Does it feel okay so far?” 

“So far.” Taehyung confirmed. “A little weird… but not painful. I know I’ll start to cramp in a bit.”

“Yeah…” Jin hummed in response. “I was thinking maybe I could distract you, to keep your mind off of it.” 

“Sure.” Taehyung agreed, again, quick to oblige Jin’s request and Jin chewed on his lip, wondering how best to begin a conversation with Taehyung while he was on his side and receiving an enema.

“Talk to me.” Jin proposed. “Tell me… about how you became Taehyung of Bangtan.”

Taehyung chuckled quietly, his laugh was deep and rumbly and Jin felt good about the fact that he was comfortable enough to laugh, given the situation. Though, he was a little confused as well, because he couldn’t be certain just what Taehyung was laughing at, as he hadn’t meant to ask him anything funny.

“Well” Taehyung started. “I go by V, of Bangtan. As a stage name, I mean.”

“V?” Jin repeated, feeling confused. He’d had no idea that the boys used stage names when they performed, which made him realize that he knew very little about Bangtan, at all. Was he supposed to? Suddenly, he felt self conscious about the fact that he really knew nothing about the group or the music they performed at all.

“Yeah, V. It’s what they chose for me.” Taehyung explained. “Namjoon goes by RM, for example. And Hobi, goes by J-Hope.”

“And Jimin?” Jin asked, wondering what his second persona could be.

“Goes by Jimin.” Taehyung replied and Jin could tell that he was smiling, his tone was playful and light. “I guess he got lucky.”

“Interesting.” Jin chewed on his lip, “I feel silly for not knowing that.” He added, more quietly.

“Don’t.” Taehyung shook his head. “I didn’t know much about K-Pop either… until I was… well…”

“Living it?” Jin suggested, a little bit taken aback by the admission that Taehyung himself hadn’t been a K-Pop superfan himself before becoming a member of the group.

“Yeah… I hadn’t actually intended to audition.” Taehyung continued. “My friend, Jae-won had wanted to audition so I came with him. And he auditioned, but then the agency noticed me and asked me to audition, too.”

“Wow.” Jin remarked, he’d never really expected that someone like Taehyung hadn’t dreamt of being in such a position for a long time. Instead, it seemed a little like a Cinderella story of sorts, in the sense that fame had found Taehyung, instead of him searching it out himself, the way most idols did. “So, you did the audition, and then what?”

“And then Jae hated me because I got a call back, and he didn’t.” 

Taehyung said and Jin could imagine that his thick lips were set in a frown, from the weight of emotion that seemed to be carried on each of his words. There was obviously still a lot of unresolved feelings regarding the lost friendship but not was probably not the time to unpack them, Jin reasoned, and he felt a little regretful for prying into the younger boys personal life. But Taehyung continued, perhaps pleased that someone was listening and listening indeed, was something that Jin was all too happy to be able to offer, knowing that sometimes it just felt good to get bound up thoughts off of your chest.

“I had no idea what being an idol really meant, when I signed that first contract.” Taehyung admitted, his body shifting a little bit as he adjusted himself to get more comfortable on the bed. 

A quick glance towards the bag told Jin that he was about a third of the way through, he might be starting to feel a little uncomfortable, but he continued to talk and Jin was grateful that he seemed distracted, and also felt a little bit honoured in the fact that Taehyung trusted him to listen to a story that didn’t feel as though it had been told too many times. 

“It isn’t all… rainbows and sunshine and fun.” Taehyung said softly. “It’s a lot of work.”

“It seems like a lot of work.” Jin said quietly, but feeling a bit like a jerk because he had been one of those people that assumed too easily that the life of a celebrity was a prized one. He’d only known Jimin and Taehyung and the others for such a short time but he had already learned from them that many of the things he had thought had been far from correct. Sure, they were probably rich, with more money in their accounts than they could reasonably know what to do with, but there was an obvious sadness in the way Taehyung was speaking that hinted that money obviously didn’t buy everything that one wanted from life.

“My life before was so different. And different from most of the other guys, too.”

“How so?” Jin asked, hoping that Taehyung wouldn’t find him to be too nosy, but he was admittedly fascinated by Taehyung’s history, finding that he wanted to learn as much as he could about the boy before him.

“I grew up with my grandparents, my parents moved to Europe when I was young… And then my dad passed away and my mother remarried.” Taehyung swallowed. “And never came home.”

Jin felt as though the air had been sucked out of him. His own childhood had been so comfortable by comparison. He had been an only child, and he’d always been cherished by his parents who had had him when they were a little older. It would be difficult to conceive, his mother had been told, and it had taken more than two years before finally the test read positive. Jin had been born nine months later and had been loved every day since. He could hardly imagine how it must have felt for Taehyung to say goodbye to his mother once and then again, knowing that she had moved on and found a new family and left him behind.

“I don’t know what to say.” Jin admitted into the silence of the room, knowing that there weren’t adequate words to convey how he really felt but he hoped Taehyung could tell that he was sympathetic.

“It’s okay.” Taehyung said quietly. “I have two siblings who live with my grandparents back home, outside of Daegu.” He explained. “They’re younger than me… and they didn’t really understand at first why I left.”

Jin hummed, wishing he could understand the bond that siblings felt, but as an only child, he could only imagine that it was something like a best friend, but stronger, a connection that ran deeper. 

“I’m sure they’re proud of you now though.” Jin told him as his eyes flicked back to the bag to check it’s progress. Halfway.

“Maybe.” Taehyung sighed. “I obviously send home money… to help my grandparents and my siblings.” Taehyung explained, shifting his hips a little and then groaning quietly. “Ouch.” He mumbled. “Cramps.”

“Ahh… yeah, you’re about half way through the bag now. You might start to feel some cramping.”

Taehyung groaned. “I feel it.” He sighed softly and then took a shaky breath. “Anyway… My grandparents used some of that money to send them to a very good boarding school.”

“Wow, that is a great opportunity, right?” Jin asked, sensing that Taehyung felt uneasy about the situation, despite the fact that it seemed positive. In some ways, at least. Jin could emphasize the fact that moving away at a young age would surely be a big adjustment. 

“Yes, it is… but my sister had a hard time with it…” Taehyung’s voice trailed off and he groaned as he shifted his body again, reaching down and rubbing his hand against his lower abdomen where Jin suspected the majority of the cramping was coming from. “And she blames me for it. She says she hates me.”

“She doesn’t hate you.” Jin said softly. “She was just saying that out of anger.”

“It didn’t make it hurt any less.” Taehyung mumbled.

No. That would be correct. Again, Jin felt embarrassed at the fact he couldn’t truly appreciate the bond that siblings must have with each other and the sting that would come from one being angry with you. Still, it seemed like a childish sort of anger and Jin was hopeful that it would resolve itself. Still, trying to convey this to Taehyung was perhaps best left to a better time, or delivered by someone else. Or maybe Taehyung would just come to accept it for himself. 

“Ugh, these cramps.” Taehyung whined, shifting on the bed again.

“Shhh.” Jin said quietly, pushing the chair a little closer to the bed. He wanted to reach out and rub the small of Taehyung’s back to help ease the discomfort, but the touch seemed a little too personal. He didn’t want to overstep any lines that he felt as though he were already toeing so close to. “If you feel as though you need to relieve yourself, you can let me know any time. You’ve done really well.”

Taehyung groaned quietly. “Maybe, soon… hurts.” He sighed.

Fuck it, Jin thought to himself and before he could stop himself, he was carefully peeling off one of his gloves. Reaching out, he brushed his fingers over the edge of the blanket and lifted it just a little bit. Taehyung tensed for just a moment but remained quiet and holding his breath, Jin moved his hand just a little closer and began to rub gentle circles into the small of Taehyung’s back.

“Breathe deeply, it’ll help.” Jin murmured. “Is this okay?”

Taehyung sighed, his shoulders softening and his head pressing deeper against the pillow as Jin rubbed his fingers slowly over the small of his back in loose swooping circles and figure eights. 

“Feels nice.” Taehyung said quietly. “S’ helping.” 

“Good.” Jin murmured, continuing to allow his fingers to massage over Taehyung’s skin as the enema continued to empty itself. 

Several minutes passed and the room was quiet, Jin’s mind had wandered away from the scene in front of him but his fingers were still moving lazily over Taehyung’s skin. The younger squirmed a little and sighed and Jin glanced up at the bag, noticing it was nearly three quarters emptied.

“I… think. I need….” 

“Oh!” Jin sat up quickly and used the hand that still had a glove on it, to slip his fingers between Taehyung’s cheeks and against the tube, ready to ease it out if Taehyung was ready. “Are you ready?”

‘I think so…” Taehyung breathed, his voice quivering slightly. “I’m nervous I can’t….” He whimpered softly as his cheeks flushed a deep red, the embarrassment that they had worked so hard to keep at bay was returning full force. 

“Take a deep breath, I’m going to remove the enema tube. Just take a second.” Jin assured him as he gingerly wrapped his fingers around the tube. 

Taehyung breathed in and Jin carefully eased the tube out, hearing Taehyung whimper as the nozzle slipped past his rim and left him empty. 

“Okay, do you need help getting up?”

“N-no. Will try.” Taehyung took a deep breath, even more shaky than before and Jin felt his stomach knot up with fresh worry, not about the potential mess but just for the sake of the fragile boys dignity. 

“You’ve got this, take the blanket.” Jin suggested.

Quickly, Taehyung pulled up his underwear and wrapped the blanket around his bare legs. Leaving his sweatpants behind, he slipped from the bed and crossed the room in a shuffling gait that was admittedly awkward but he made it to the bathroom without any disasters and Jin felt himself let go of the breath he was holding as the door closed behind him. 

“Taehyung” Jin called out. “I will give you some privacy and step out, meet me in the waiting room when you’re finished!” 

Jin felt confident that Taehyung could take care of himself in the bathroom and would appreciate the privacy, as the results of the procedure could sometimes be a little bit… dramatic. Nonetheless, Taehyung would feel much better when he was through and Jin was already feeling a lot better that the procedure had gone as smoothly as it had. Quickly, Jin cleaned up a few of the items and then made way for the door of his office, stepping out into the hall and finding it empty, wandering out to the waiting room and giving Katy a shy smile when she looked up at him.

“Oh, is Taehyung still here? I didn’t see him leave.” She frowned.

“He’s just in the exam room going to the bathroom and getting dressed.” Jin responded casually. “Gave him some privacy.”

“Ah.” Katy nodded. “You’re past your shift, did you want me to see him out when he’s through?”

Jin shook his head. “No need, I’ll wait for him. I said I would.”

Katy gave Jin a smile. “You’re a good doctor.”

Jin blushed but remained quiet, sauntering across the room and plucking one of the well read magazines from the rack. Honestly, none of the articles interested him in the least, but he wanted to keep himself distracted while he waited for Taehyung. After a little while, the sound of footsteps on the floor caused him to look up, and Taehyung was leaning against the wall with a shy smile.

“Thank you again, doctor.” 

“You’re most welcome…. Oh!” Jin remembered the kit-kat bar that he’d tucked into the pocket of his coat on his way out of the office. “This is for you.” He crossed the room and offered the small red package to Taehyung, who grinned and took it gingerly.

“Thank you.” 

“Wish Yoongi a happy birthday for me.” Jin nodded. “Have a good time tonight. Be sure to call the office if you have any further difficulties.”

Taehyung simply nodded, seemingly appreciative of the fact that Jin was scarce on the details, as not to give away the entire appointment to Katy who was still at the desk, tapping away at her keyboard, largely distracted but nonetheless, within earshot. 

“Have a good evening, doctor.” Taehyung said with a smile and then headed for the door, one last tiny wave before he disappeared.

“He’s always such a sweet boy.” Katy said quietly. “Always seems so happy.”

Jin hummed, smiling at Katy but feeling a knotting sensation in his stomach at the recollection of the conversation he’d had with Taehyung. Or more so, the confessions that Taehyung had shared with him. He’d discovered that for a boy that always seemed so happy, there was much more beneath the surface to know about him. Things weren’t always what they seemed.


	14. Office Hours - Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jin is called to the dance studio again, this time for an emergency call related to the boys of TXT but he ends up running into someone else at the studio as well.

One Week Later 

On Sunday morning, Jin took his time getting out of bed. He had absolutely nothing planned for the day and he intended to do nothing more than go to the grocery store and back again. Monday would greet him all too quickly, and though he loved his new job, he had to admit that at times it was stressful working with high profile patients. It had been to his great relief that the rest of his week had passed without any difficult or especially uncomfortable appointments. Rolling over, Jin reached for his phone, remembering that he had a message from Youngjae that he had yet to reply to. Youngjae had asked him if he wanted to get together the following weekend, and Jin typed back a reply that yes he did, could they go somewhere for dinner? Jin closed the message inbox and then scrolled through the apps on his phone, hovering over the dating app. 

Colin had never messaged him back, but Jin had found that he had cared less and less with each day that slipped by without a text or a call. Pulling up his duvet, Jin got comfortable and clicked on the app, deciding that there really wasn’t any harm in checking his messages, seeing that he had notifications for a few. Despite being in the comfort of his own bed, in a baggy t shirt and a well loved pair of cotton pajama pants, Jin still felt the flutter of butterflies as he opened up the message inbox. 

The first message was simply a “hey cutie” and when Jin when to the profile, it was just pictures of a well muscled torso and a winky face in the description. It was hard to assume that this guy wanted much more than to fuck. With a sigh, Jin deleted the message and moved on to the next one. 

“Hi there, this may seem a little forward but I was wondering if you might be interested in a threesome with my girlfriend and I? She has a doctor kink…” 

Jin’s mouth fell open and he nearly dropped his phone, but managed to delete the message instead, There was still one more unread message to open but Jin couldn’t help but feel discouraged. Maybe opening the app again had been a mistake, Jin wondered as he hovered over the last message, which Jin eventually decided was worth checking, having come this far and all. Taking a breath, he opened it up and began to read what was a longer first message than any he’d yet to receive; 

“Hey… I apologize in advance if my message comes off as awkward. Not only am I awkward myself but I am new to this whole online dating thing. I was browsing around and noticed that you seemed like a genuinely sweet guy… I couldn’t help but notice you had a shelf of anime in the background of one of your pictures and I got excited because I used… to… well still am a huge anime nerd, ha ha ha. Anyway, it says you haven’t been online for a few days but if you do see this message please write me back… — Min-Jun.”

Jin felt a tickle in his chest that was closer to the side of excited rather than nervous, but nevertheless he felt a little unsure of how to respond. Min-Jun seemed a lot more genuine than any of the other guys that he had heard from - besides Colin. But, it had already been six days since he’d sent the message. Was it too late to reply? Nibbling on his lower lip, Jin hovered over to the button that brought him to Min-Jun’s profile and decided to investigate further. 

There were four pictures, and Jin had to smile at the fact that one of the photos included an orange and white cat and another was of the cat by itself. Min-Jun clearly loved cats, and that was adorable. Another picture seemed to be Min-Jun and a few friends at a board game cafe, gathered around a table with a game that Jin didn’t recognize. The last picture was a fairly typical selfie, Min-Jun’s hair was a little longer than his ears and he had a soft, slight looking mouth and gentle features. He was more on the feminine side than Jin typically found attractive, but something about him seemed really sweet, and Jin decided that he was worth responding to. But where to start. Sitting up in bed, Jin leaned against his pillows and did his best to compose a respectable response.

“Hi Min-Jun, thanks so much for the sweet message. It was a welcome change from the perverted majority that I’ve received. Maybe I am just too much of a nerd for this site - I do love anime as well - just like you, though I don’t have as much time to watch it as I would like. I do really like to read. I really like your cat, what is his or her name? I don’t have any pets right now but I hope one day to have a cat. Maybe a black one. But all cats are adorable. I am probably rambling now… sorry for the late response… I had given up on this whole dating app but I am giving it another try… hope to hear from you. — Seokjin. (Jin.)”

Jin scrolled through the profiles of the guys who were online and within the area but found that no one else really stood out to him enough to message. Besides, his stomach was starting to rumble for a decidedly late breakfast, and as nice as it would be, he couldn’t stay in bed all day. With a stretch, Jin slid from the bed and got on with his day, hoping that perhaps Min-Jun would respond to his message sooner rather than later.

———

Monday morning came quickly and with some disappointment came the fact that Jin hadn’t heard back from Min-Jun. Quickly, thoughts of the cute stranger were forgotten as he pulled into the familiar parking lot of the clinic and parked his car in the spot near the back that he’d come to use most frequently. After locking up, he made his way to the steps of the clinic and inside, breathing in the clean and sterile smell that while made most uneasy, just smelled like another home to Jin. In the waiting room, Katy gave him a warm smile and her usual wave.

“Happy Monday, Doctor Seokjin.” Katy smiled as she passed Jin his schedule of appointments for the day.

“Happy Monday.” Jin smiled back as he took the paper and began to scan the list of names.

Two prescription refills and one appointment to check on how a set of stitches was healing. Jin didn’t recognize any of the patients as patients he had seen before and the fact that the day seemed straightforward enough was something he was grateful for. Jin thanked Katy for his schedule and then made his way to his small office, hanging his coat on the hook on the back of the door and then sitting down at his desk to file away some paperwork that had been left over from Friday and wait for his first appointment which wasn’t due for another forty five minutes. 

Around three in the afternoon, Jin’s last patient had arrived five minutes late, but was a sweet girl who chatted the entire time he looked at the stitches on her ankle. She had fallen during a choreography run through and sustained a pretty nasty gash that cut two inches across her calf. She didn’t flinch or seem to notice at all as Jin examined the well stitched wound as gingerly as he could. When he was through, she continued to ramble on and Jin listened diligently until he was able to politely dismiss her and see her off with a treat from his candy bowl. If nothing else, at least the appointment had been simple, Jin reasoned, thankful for the peaceful atmosphere of the room that had been restored once the girl had left. 

Jin took his time tidying up his room, changing the paper on the examination bed and restocking the jars on his counter with fresh supplies of cotton swabs, tongue depressors and cotton balls. Jin decided that he’d make his way out to the waiting room to ask Katy if there was anything else that he could help with before leaving, but first he might just take a quick glance at his phone, in the off chance that he had a message. Just as he began to cross the room towards the hook where his jacket hung, his phone nestled in the pocket, a knock on the door made him jump. 

“Come in!”

The door swung open and Doctor Wang appeared, his face looking drawn.

“Doctor Kim, I’m sorry to bother you at the end of your day…” The older doctor began with an apologetic smile.

Jin felt his stomach flop, knowing intuitively that his day had just gotten longer. No, he didn’t really mind, because the duty of being a doctor was to care for your patients when they needed you, and truthfully, it was still an hour and a half before the end of his typical day.

“Oh, no trouble, what seems to be the matter, Doctor Wang?” Jin asked, hopeful that any trace of disappointment he felt wouldn’t be obvious as he put on the most genuine smile that he could. 

“I just got a call from the dance studio, four out of five of the members of the TXT group have fallen ill.”

“Oh no.” Any sense of annoyance that Jin may have felt about having to continue work instead of heading home where he could relax had been replaced all at once with worry. Admittedly, when he had first heard dance studio, he had thought of Jimin and the time that he had been called there because he was unconscious. But this was an entirely different type of call all together. “What type of illness is presenting?”

“They’re vomiting, from the sounds of it, it might be messy.” Doctor Wang frowned. “I hate to ask…”

“I don’t mind.”

Without much further discussion, it was settled that Jin would drive out to the dance studio and check on the members that had fallen ill and determine if any of them needed to go to the hospital. When he was through, he’d be able to go home, after sending Doctor Wang a quick email about his findings. Doctor Wang thanked him several more times before leaving the room. Jin packed his large leather doctors bag with several anti nausea medications, as well as several disposable oral thermometers. Glancing through the supplies in the supply room, he took a few more items and tucked them away before determining that he was ready to head over to the studio. 

Jin tried his best to drive both quickly but safely over to the dance studio, finding that it seemed to look different in the daylight than it had the night that Colin had dropped him off. Still, he couldn’t help but think about the last time that he’d been here, he’d said goodbye and hoped that he might actually hear back from his date. Jin parked the car and pushed the thoughts from his mind, knowing that he had much more important things to think about as he made his way towards the back door, entering the code that Doctor Wang had given him into the security system and listening for the sound of the door unlocking before pushing on the handle, breathing a sigh of relief as it pushed open and he stepped inside. 

Doctor Wang had told him that the boys were on the third floor, in studio 309. Glancing down the long and fairly plainly decorated hallway, Jin noticed a sign for a stairwell and made his way towards it. Jin went two floors up to the third and let himself out, finding a sign that directed him towards a row of doors that all looked exactly like one another. When he came to 309, he took a deep breath, only finally feeling the slightest bit apprehensive about what might be waiting for him on the other side of the door.

Immediately, the sour smell of vomit hit Jin as he entered and he took a deep breath, bracing himself for the fact that this appointment was amplified by the fact that four of the boys were feeling poorly.

“Oh, Doctor Seokjin, I’m glad you’re here.” Kai crossed the room, looking fairly healthy and Jin immediately guessed that he was the one that was feeling well.

“How’s everyone doing, Kai? Are you feeling okay?” 

“I’m fine - but they’re not so great. It’s basically been a rotating door at the bathroom for the last hour.” Kai frowned. “We were working on choreography and it was Soobin first, and we thought maybe he was just hot.”

Jin nodded as he listened, glancing over at the other four boys who were spread between two couches and a chair. Yeonjun was hugging a pillow with his head in Soobin’s lap, and two other boys that Jin didn’t recognize occupied the other couch, one stretched across it himself and the other in a chair with a nintendo switch in his hands. 

“But after Soobin threw up, Yeonjun threw up. And then everyone was throwing up, except for me.”

“I see.” Jin chewed on his lip as he considered everything that Kai had told him. 

Throwing up could be a symptom of so many illnesses that it was unfair to jump to any conclusions right away, but instead of approaching the group, Jin decided to ask Kai a couple more things to get his facts in order before he began any treatments or examinations.  
“So, it’s just those four that are sick. And you’re not?” Jin asked, to confirm.

Kai nodded. “Right. It all happened after lunch… they ate the catering that the company provided… and I’m allergic to seafood so I had a slice of pizza from seven eleven instead.”

Bingo. “Perfect, thanks for all your help, Kai.” 

Jin excused himself and made his way over to the group of guys, exchanging a few shy smiles with a most miserable looking crew.

“So, who feels the worst, I guess?” Jin asked, feeling unsure of exactly where to begin.

The boy with the Nintendo Switch cleared his throat and glanced around the group, accepting the invitation to go first. He introduced himself as Beomgyu and he had a soft, somewhat narrow face and kind eyes. He moved to the empty chair that was closest to Jin, and Jin excused himself to quickly washed his hands before beginning the examination.

“So, have you thrown up, Beomgyu?” Jin asked after he returned with freshly washed hands and a pair of latex gloves put on.

Beomgyu nodded. “Three times, I can’t imagine there’s anything else to throw up, but it feels like I might again.” He frowned.

Jin nodded, feeling a pang of sympathy for the sad looking boy. It was never pleasant to throw up, and he knew the feeling of dry heaving was especially uncomfortable. “If you feel like you need to, just let me know and we can pause.” Jin explained as he reached into the bag for his examination light. “I’m going to check your nose and throat first, and then take your temperature, and see if you have a fever.” 

Beomgyu nodded, seemingly calm about everything that Jin had explained and the doctor couldn’t help but feel grateful that the first of the four patients was easy to work with, and furthermore, he had met two of the others before. Jin turned the light on and leaned forward, pleased that Beomgyu opened his mouth intuitively, without any prompting. Jin took a quick look inside, finding no swelling or redness in his throat that might indicate a flu or other virus in its early stages. Jin moved back and Beomgyu closed his mouth and then tilted his head back a bit so that Jin could look into his nose, finding no signs of congestion or anything else amiss there, either.

“Thanks, Beomgyu. No sign of any infection anywhere there.” He set the light back in his bag, knowing he’d bring it out again three more times, and probably find all the patients to be the same. He was fairly certain that they were suffering from food poisoning, and a slight fever would help confirm the diagnosis. 

Jin took one of the thermometers from the bag, opening up the packaging and shaking the instrument downwards as he knew he should to prepare it. Beomgyu watched him carefully and then cleared his throat.

“Doctor?”

Jin turned towards the boy, now looking a little impish, with a pink blush on his cheeks. “Yes?”

“Are those… oral thermometers?”

Jin blinked, a little caught off guard. Of course, they were. As opposed to what? Instead of asking, he just gave Beomgyu a kind smile. “Yes, oral thermometers. I hope that’s okay?”

“No, that’s great.” He replied, seemingly relieved.

Why? Why so relieved? Jin was painfully curious, but with three other patients waiting to be checked over, now was not the time to ask about the curious question. Jin picked up the thermometer and in a gentle tone, asked Beomgyu to open his mouth, to which he obliged right away. Jin slipped the instrument between his lips, still feeling a little awkward and a lot curious about the previous question, but resisting the temptation to ask about it. A minute later, Jin gingerly withdrew the thermometer from Beomgyu’s lips and glanced at the reading. It was two degrees above normal and though not enough to seriously worry, it was enough to confirm that something was unwell within.

“Slight fever.” Jin confirmed. “I’m going to have you take some Acetaminophen for the fever. And some gravol for the nausea…” He explained as he dug threw the bag for the medications he’d packed, pulling them out and dividing up the doses into a smaller, travel size container for Beomgyu. “Have you been experiencing diarrhea?”

“N-no.” Beomgyu answered quickly, his cheeks turning a deeper shade of pink, obviously embarrassed.

“You very well could, so I’m going to give you medication for that, to take in case you do experience it. Those are these pink ones.” Jin explained as he added a few more tablets to the container. “Take one of the red ones and one of the white ones now, with some water.” Jin directed as he passed the container of pills over to Beomgyu.   
“Who's next?”

It took just under an hour to finish examining each of the boys, all of which had a slight fever but no other symptoms such as redness in the throat or congestion. Yeonjun had the highest fever, but it still wasn’t high enough to warrant a trip to the hospital, which was a relief to Jin and the boys both that they could head back to the dorm to recover instead of having to go to the hospital and see more doctors. Jin doled out medication to each of them and supervised as each of them took the pills and drank a bottle of water each. Jin felt relieved for the fact that no one had thrown up while he was there, and that the appointment had gone fairly smoothly. For younger guys, they were all mature and well mannered, all of them easy to work with and grateful for his help. Jin washed his hands while Soobin called their manager to arrange for a ride. 

Jin felt that it was the right thing to do to wait around until the boys got picked up, able to watch over them and be sure that no one's condition worsened. Despite a few whines and grumbles, the time passed without incident and each of them thanked Jin again before leaving the room, leaving Jin alone and feeling decidedly out of place in the dance studio. Gathering up his things, he was looking forward to finally heading home, but feeling a familiar tickle in his groin told him that he’d have to find a restroom on his way out or risk peeing on the leather interior of his car.

In the hallway, Jin glanced one direction and then the other, feeling relieved to see a sign for a washroom at the end of the hall. Walking towards it, Jin took in the row of lockers that gave the studio a high-school like feel. Much less glamorous than what most people probably expected it to be, it was still rather unique and intimate, Jin noticed as he came across a large cork board decorated in pictures of Bangtan. Jin paused for a moment, his eyes wandering over the various scenes. A picture of the boys at a beach in Saipan, another of a few of the boys on a roller coaster, their faces mostly hidden by the bulky restraints that came over their shoulders. Jin found that no matter the photo, his eyes sought out Jimin first and he tried to shake the question of what that meant as he decided he best to just continue down the hall towards the washroom, they weren’t really his photos to look at anyway, he supposed.

Jin let himself into the small, immaculately clean washroom and found three stalls and no urinals. He chose the one on the end, opening the door up and tucking himself inside to relieve himself, grateful for the privacy, having never really enjoyed using the open concept urinals that provided no sense of modesty. After he was finished and buttoning his pants back up, Jin heard the sound of the washroom door opening and hurried steps on the floor. He paused, listening as someone raced into the stall not beside his, but the next over and slammed the door shut. In the next moment, the sounds of heaving and fresh vomit hitting the water of the toilet made Jin pause. It must be one of the boys he had just seen and Jin carefully opened the door of his stall, deciding to wait and see who emerged to be sure that they were okay.

Walking over to the sink, Jin washed his hands and glanced in the mirror, adjusting a few of the pieces of hair that hung over his face. Jin listened, hearing the sound of heavy, shaky breathing and then a small groan. It was hard to tell who had made the noise and he waited, feeling increasingly nervous as the person behind the door heaved and threw up a second time, sounding decidedly more strained. A flushing sound of the toilet being cleared and then more heavy breathing. Jin wondered if the person thought they were alone or if they had sensed his presence. Just then, the door of the stall swung open and Jin nearly jumped when his eyes landed on none of the boys he had just taken care of but Jimin, instead.

“Jimin?”

“Doctor Jin?” Jimin frowned as wide eyes looked the doctor up and down, clearly startled by his presence. “What are you doing here?”

“I was on call.” Jin explained, straightening out his back as he licked his lips, feeling nervous about the fact Jimin was clearly unwell. “Were you just throwing up?”

“No.” Jimin replied, but looked away.

Jin sighed, knowing without uncertainty that Jimin was lying to him and feeling frustrated that the younger boy would be dishonest with him, even after having met with him on a couple of occasions. Truthfully, he had been expecting better, but on the other hand, there must be a reason that Jimin was being dishonest. And none of the reasons that would cause him to be dishonest could be described as good, Jin worried. 

“Jimin. I heard you.” Doctor Jin explained in a no-nonsense sort of way, not wanting to sound mean, but wanting to cut to the chase. There was no avoiding the fact that Jimin had been throwing up, and Jin needed to know if it was because he had eaten the same thing as the other guys, or what.

“Okay.” Jimin agreed, without saying anything else.

Stubborn. Jin couldn’t be entirely surprised, and he resisted the temptation to sigh, knowing that he had to do his best to be patient if he was going to make any progress with Jimin.   
“Are you feeling okay? I was actually on call here because several members of TXT have food poisoning.”

“I’m feeling better now, actually.” Jimin explained, but his eyes were on the floor, far away from meeting Jin’s worried stare.

Jin hummed, feeling as though Jimin wasn’t being totally honest with him about how he was feeling. “Are you sure? Because some of the others threw up a few times… and they were running a fever. Can I check your temperature?”

“No.” Jimin shook his head. “I don’t think I have food poisoning.”

Jin frowned, unsure of how to feel about how difficult Jimin was making this. It was such a contrast to how easy the younger guys had been to work with, how not one had fussed while he read their temperatures and looked in their mouths. He’d known Jimin to be nervous, but taking his temperature was nothing like a needle, and Jin couldn’t understand what there was to be difficult about. 

“Can I just get going?” Jimin asked, looking hopefully in the direction of the door. 

“Hold on.” Jin frowned. “Just tell me, what did you eat for lunch? Did you have catering?”

Jimin sighed loudly and then ran his hands through his hair, looking exasperated. Jin felt as guilty as he felt confused, unsure of why Jimin was acting so defensive. 

“Doctor Jin, I don’t have food poisoning.” Jimin said quietly.

“Are you sure?” Jin asked, feeling his annoyance shifting into worry as Jimin’s eyes lifted, finding his stare. There was worry painted in his reflection, and Jin noticed now the redness on the youngers cheeks that looked like shame more than nervousness. “Then why were you throwing up?”

“Because I made myself.”

Jin felt as though the wind had been knocked out of him. Jimin’s tone had been as calm as though he were explaining the colour of the sky or any other plainly obvious information. But the confession filled Jin with a horrible sense of aching empathy, a sickening feeling that the cause of Jimin’s sickness was Jimin himself. Immediately, his mind reeled back to the weight loss on Jimin’s records and the lack of eating that had caused him to faint and the clues lined up, his mind putting them together like pieces of a puzzle creating a nauseating revelation. Jin shivered as a coldness spread throughout him. 

“Jimin, we’re going to need to talk about this.”

Jimin stared at Jin, his eyes becoming glassy as his teeth nibbled worriedly at his plush lower lip. Jimin paused his chewing and his lips parted as though he were about to say something, but only a soft whimper squeaked out and Jin felt his stomach knot up, wishing that he could do something to comfort the younger boy, but feeling rather frozen in place. There was only a few feet between them in the small bathroom but it felt like much more, felt like Jimin was far away and a perfect stranger, as well, instead of the boy that he had comforted through a needle and a blood sugar test. He wanted to comfort him through this as well, but this was something far larger than a simple vaccination. Jin knew that he was dealing with a much larger problem and he knew that he was going to have to approach it very carefully. 

“Do we have to?” Jimin finally squeaked, sounding so small that Jin felt his resolve threatening to crumble.

“Unfortunately, we do. Why don’t we go somewhere and talk?”

“Where?” Jimin asked.

Jin hadn’t gotten that far yet in his plans, but he didn’t want to admit it as plainly as that. He supposed it wasn’t as easy as just going to Starbucks, with Jimin being an idol, it was so easy for him to be recognized and photographed. Besides, the conversation was a very private matter, and Jin knew that it would be best if they could be alone. The clinic was the most obvious suggestion that his mind could make, but the environment didn’t exactly lend itself to being one that Jimin could relax in. Jin considered Jimin’s own living situation, but decided that the dorm of his bandmates would lack the privacy that they needed as well. There was one last solution, unorthodox as hell and bordering unprofessional, but, Jin decided to trust his intuition one more time.

“I know a place. What do you say?”

Jimin studied Jin for a long moment, seemingly rolling over the idea of trusting the doctor and the momentous task of revealing the secret that he so obviously wasn’t quite ready to share. After what felt like forever and Jin was certain that Jimin was going to refuse, the younger boy slowly nodded his head.

“Fine.”


	15. Office Hours - Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay with this one! It took me a long time to figure out how exactly I wanted to approach this conversation as it felt like a big deal. I hope I did it justice! I just wanted to take a second and say how much I appreciate all of the positive comments, subscriptions, bookmarks and kudos. It really motivates me to continue this story and I am really excited for what is still to come. We are only in the early stages yet!

“You know, we can’t just go to Starbucks or something.” 

Jimin spoke with a tone that promised two things, one, he was going to act as though Jin was naive, and two, he was already annoyed. Jin sighed, sure, he didn’t know the most about K-Pop - and as an adult professional in his thirties, he felt he shouldn’t need to defend this. Still, it stung a little bit that Jimin was acting as though he were totally clueless. Jin couldn’t help but feel already a little annoyed himself that none of this was starting on a good foot. 

“Yes, Jimin.” Jin agreed as he unlocked and then pulled open the passenger side door of his car, inviting the younger to get in. “I know that I can’t just take you to Starbucks, or something.” 

He didn’t add that he knew that he and Jimin could be surrounded by fans, and even worse, their phones with cameras. All it would take, would be one innocent enough photo of them at a table and Jin could be labelled his boyfriend. The idea was a little preposterous to Jin who had only ever felt average in appearance that a pop star could be mistaken for his boyfriend, but still, he wouldn’t risk it. Besides, Jin was certain that whatever Jimin was going to tell him, the younger would prefer to do with some privacy. 

Seemingly satisfied with his answer, Jimin got in without any further comments and Jin made his way around the front of the car to the driver’s side, resisting the urge to roll his eyes with every step he took. As he opened the driver’s side door, the notion he should at least tell Jimin where they were going sat like a lump in his throat. Ashamed to admit it, but he was a little anxious about how Jimin would respond to his unorthodox idea. 

“So, where are we going?” Jimin asked as soon as Jin’s backside grazed the leather of his seat. 

He’d beat him to it, so much for worrying. Still, the lump in his throat seemed to only swell now that he was forced to answer. Jin pulled his seatbelt around his shoulders and put the keys into the ignition, sighing quietly to himself as he accepted that he couldn’t stall any longer.

“Don’t freak out.” Jin began, watching as the younger’s eyes widened. Clearly, freaking out. “I was going to suggest my place. Nice and private.” 

Jin slowly released the breath he was holding, as carefully as one would set down a squirming puppy. 

“Your place?” Jimin repeated slowly in a tone that while not sounding malicious, Jin struggled to decipher. “Like. Your apartment?” Jimin raised one brow as a look of curiosity crossed over his chocolate coloured eyes. 

“Yes, my apartment.” Jin nodded. “You can say no. I know it’s weird.” His skin was beginning to burn and he could feel a blush spreading to the tips of his ears. Jimin was still watching him and Jin’s heart seemed to pound faster and faster with each silent second that slipped by. “I just thought that we’d have privacy there. You can say no. I’m not trying to be -“ 

“It’s okay.” Jimin cut him off, his own cheeks the faintest colour of pink that made Jin feel the tiniest bit better. “I was just surprised.” 

“We don’t have to.” Jin repeated, looking away from Jimin’s curious eyes and feeling his anxiety continue to climb, despite the younger’s reassurance. “It was a stupid idea.” 

“No it wasn’t.”

Jin’s head snapped back to look at him, finding a gentle expression and a tiny, sweet smile. He breathed in, reminding himself that this was the same scared boy who he had comforted through needle sticks. This was just going to be a conversation, so why was he so nervous? 

“I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” Jin said quietly. “Maybe this isn’t even my business, but, I think we should at least talk about it.” 

“Just talk?” 

“Just talk. This is outside of office hours, it’s not an exam or something. But nonetheless, we can always stop. We don’t have to talk about all of it today… I just… I heard you throwing up and I’m worried. So can we go have a chat?” 

Jimin’s eyes fell away from Jin’s and he stared at his lap. Again, Jin wondered if he had taken a step too far. Wondered if he should have put himself in this position at all, should he have just accepted Jimin’s lie in the bathroom and left it there? His conscious told him that no, he would have only worried all night. Still, he could only hope that his intuition would guide him through what was surely to be a difficult conversation. Jimin stirred in the seat across from him and then took a deep breath.

“Yeah. We can talk.” Jimin said slowly, carefully. “At your apartment. In private.”

Jin smiled, feeling his heartbeat quicken in a way that was finally something other than nervousness when Jimin returned it, his eyes creasing at the sides in the most genuinely sweet way. Taking another deep breath, Jin turned the car on, feeling it vibrate beneath him as it came to life. Jin began to reverse the car out of his parking spot and out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Jimin scrolling on his phone, seemingly relaxed. The ride was quiet, Jin hadn’t bothered to turn on the radio and only noticed the silence once he was on the highway.

“Do you want to listen to something?” He asked, looking towards Jimin and then back towards the road.

“Oh.” Jimin hummed. “It’s okay. I listen to stuff all day anyway.”

Jin nodded, Jimin was back to paying attention to his phone and the car felt entirely too silent. Still, Jin drove on because home wasn’t too far away, and he could endure the short ride. Part of him wanted to make small talk with Jimin, but the younger seemed distracted anyway and Jin thought about how he was going to begin the conversation with Jimin once they got home. His stomach grumbled, reminding him that it had been hours since he had eaten and he licked at his lips. At once, he remembered the beef bulgogi that he had marinating in the fridge. He had spent the night before cutting the beef into thin strips and preparing the marinade. It wasn’t going to take much effort to put together a delicious meal and there would be plenty to share. 

“Hey. Are you hungry?” Jin glanced quickly from the road and then back again.

“Um. Not… really.” Jimin said without looking up from his phone.

Not the answer that he had been looking for. Chewing on his lower lip, he stared at the road ahead of him, quickly approaching the exit for the street that his apartment was on. He had been looking forward to sharing his homemade meal with Jimin, and he was sure that after a day of dancing, Jimin had to be hungry. There was a reason he was saying he wasn’t, or he was lying again.

“We can’t… I don’t want to go out anywhere.” Jimin said, filling the silence and pushing his phone into the pocket of his pants. “Sorry. I’m kind of high maintenance. The staff always go into the restaurants and stuff for us.”

“No, I get it.” Jin said, feeling a little relieved that the reason for Jimin’s hesitance was something a little more simple than what he had been thinking. “But, I wasn’t going to suggest eating out.” 

Jin took the exit turn and he noticed Jimin looking out the window as he drove down his street. He lived in a nice area, there was a large park where cherry blossom trees bloomed in the spring time and Jin saw many people walking their dogs. 

“Do you like bulgogi?”

“I love bulgogi.” Jimin said, his lips breaking into a smile that made Jin feel immediately more at ease. 

“Perfect. I’m going to make us dinner.” Jin said as he turned into the parking lot of his apartment building. “This is us.”

Jimin looked out the window, craning his neck up at the tall building. “You live here? Wow, it’s so tall.”

Jin smiled. “I only live about halfway up, but yeah, it’s tall. It has a nice view.”

Jin let himself out of the car and Jimin followed him, looking around curiously as they made their way through the parking lot, past the small public garden and towards the entrance.

“Sorry, it might be messy. I do most of my cleaning up on the weekends.” Jin apologized as he led him towards the elevator and pressed the button, watching as the doors swung open to invite them inside.

“Don’t worry, I live with five guys,” Jimin laughed. “It’s always messy.”

The elevator was quiet, maybe a little awkward in it’s lack of conversation, but Jimin was scrolling on his phone and Jin couldn't quite find the words to say. The car ride had proven that he wasn’t much for small talk and Jin could only hope that the younger would be a little more open with him once they were in the privacy of his apartment. Fishing into his pocket for his phone, his mind wandered to Min-Jun for the first time in awhile and he decided to quickly check to see if he had a notification. Jin felt himself inhale quickly when he saw the little red circle on the app that signalled that he had a new message. Simultaneously, the elevator bell rang and the doors swung open. He’d have to check later, and it might not even be from Min-Jun, he told himself as he stepped off the elevator with Jimin following closely behind him.

As they reached Jin’s door, Jimin cleared his throat and reached out, his smaller hand brushing over Jin’s wrist.

“Wait.” Jimin stalled. “One thing.”

Jin paused, pulling the key away from the lock and turning towards Jimin, confused at the sudden worry in his voice and meeting his widened eyes with a gentle smile. “What’s up?”

“Is… your wife home?” 

Jin stared blankly for a moment because Jimin’s question was the furthest thing from what he had expected him to have asked. Hoping it wouldn’t look mean, Jin smiled as he stared at Jimin.

“No, I live by myself. I’m not married.” He explained and watched as Jimin let out a breath, obviously relieved. “I wouldn’t have brought you here if someone else was here, I thought you’d appreciate the privacy. Albeit unconventional.”

“It’s nice.” Jimin said quickly, stopping Jin before he could start rambling, the way he typically did when he began to feel nervous. “I appreciate it.”

Jin smiled, feeling himself relax a little bit and he turned back towards the door, pushing the key into the lock and pushing down the anxiety that threatened to bubble up with the vague worry of what Jimin would think of his apartment. “This is home.” JIn said, pushing open the door and allowing Jin to step inside, into the hallway that led to the kitchen and dining room on one end, and the den on the other. In between the two major areas were his bedroom and the bathroom. It wasn’t incredibly fancy, but Jin felt proud that he’d furnished it nicely and kept it neat. 

“It’s so cute.” Jimin gushed right away as he pushed off his shoes. “And if you think this is messy, trust me, you don’t want to see our dorm.”

Jin laughed, toeing off his own shoes leading Jimin towards the kitchen. “Can I get you a drink or anything?” He asked as he walked across the white tile floor and pulled open the cupboard, reaching for two glasses before Jimin had answered.

“Just water would be great.” Jimin replied.

Jin had been thinking the same and quickly poured themselves both a glass from the water purifier inside of the fridge. He handed Jimin his glass and then motioned towards the breakfast nook that had a couple of bar stools. Jin sat down and took a long drink, watching as Jimin sat down beside him, a little more tentatively, his nerves obviously starting to get the better of him.

“I’ll make dinner, and then we can talk after that?” Jin suggested, not wanting to put any more pressure on Jimin than he already had. “You can even hang out in the den down the hall. And you saw where the bathroom is, right? Make yourself at home. I’ll just cook.” 

“I’ll stay here.” 

Jimin gave Jin a shy smile and he felt relieved about the fact that Jimin seemed comfortable enough to stay with him. He finished the rest of his water and stood up, wishing that he could think of a way to fill the uncomfortable silence with some sort of conversation, but he didn’t really know enough about Jimin to know where to start. He had never expected when he was in medical school that he would ever have a pop star in his kitchen. 

“Are there any vegetables you don’t like?” Jin asked, pulling open the fridge again.

“Nope, I’m not very picky when it comes to food.” Jimin shook his head and then looked back down at his phone.

Jin reached for the drawer of the crisper, pulling it open and retrieving various vegetables, carrots, peppers, onions, one after another until he’d gathered a nice pile on the counter. As he began to wash the vegetables and set them up on his familiar cutting board, Jin found the familiar rhythm of cooking to be a comfort. Cutting into the onion, he ignored the sting that bothered his eyes and let his mind wander a little bit. He was curious about the message on the app, but he was even more curious about what Jimin was going to reveal to him. Every so often, he glanced over at Jimin, still occupied with his phone and he wondered a little bit too about what he must be thinking. After awhile, Jin was ready to stir fry the vegetables and he added some of his bulgogi marinade to the pan to help flavour them. As everything began to sizzle, the sweet and fragrant aroma began to saturate the kitchen and Jin felt his stomach rumble again, reminding him that he was starving.  
“That smells so good.” Jimin commented and the sound of the stool scraping on the floor caused Jin to turn his head, watching as Jimin walked towards him a little bit, eyes peering curiously into the pan. “It reminds me of when my mom would make it.” He added more quietly, pushing his hands into his pockets.

“Funny you say that.” Jin smiled. “This is my mother's recipe.”

Jin’s mind shifted to his mother and the way that she always made bulgogi on Friday nights. It was a family favourite, with Jin and his younger brother always arguing about who would have the leftovers after everyone had been served. Though she always made lots, everyone always loved it so much that there was never any left the next day. When Jin moved out, he wanted to continue to be able to enjoy the familiar meal so he had asked her for the recipe, amongst many others, and everytime he made it, the smell of the kitchen would take him home.

“We had it every Friday, did your mom make it often?”

“Well…” Jimin began. “When I was young, we couldn’t afford to have it often, but when I got older it was one of our favourite things to have.”

Jin stirred at the vegetables and realized, with some guilt, that he had never given a lot of consideration to Jimin’s life before he was famous and how he may not have always been wealthy. Jimin lingered behind him, watching as he poked at the vegetables and ensured that they were all covered in the sauce.

“Do you have any brothers or sisters?”

“No.” Jimin replied. “It was just my mom and I. My dad left when I was young.” 

“I’m sorry.” Jin said, feeling his stomach twist with guilt again. He’d always had the comfort of living with both of his parents, though his father travelled often for work, he always came home and brought gifts that Jin and his brother looked forward to. Jin’s mom had been kept busy taxi-ing them around to various activities, piano lessons and karate classes, they were always doing something that kept them from thinking too much about the fact that their dad was gone for long stretches of time. And he always came home, eventually. “That must have been hard.”

“No, it’s okay. You can’t miss someone you never knew… he wasn’t even around to see me be born… My mom and I are very close.”

“I can imagine.” Jin nodded. “Hey, can you pass me the beef?” He gestured towards the bowl behind Jimin on the counter.

“Sure.” Jimin responded and turned quickly, retrieving the bowl of beef and handing it to Jin, giving him a smile as he did so that made his heart beat faster, a mix of nervousness and something else. He had a beautiful smile, and gorgeous eyes as well, a kind expression that made you want to never look away. Jin scolded himself and turned his attention back to the pan, pouring the beef amongst the vegetables and watching as everything simmered. Behind him, Jimin padded across the kitchen and resumed his seat at the nook, picking up his phone and again and Jin felt a little bit relieved for the space, hoping that it would give his mind a chance to straighten up. 

Before long, the meal was finished and Jin plated up two servings with plenty of beef, vegetables and a pile of rice on the side. He set the plates down on the counter and then pulled open the fridge to retrieve the water and topped up both of their glasses.

“I can’t wait to eat, this smells amazing.” Jimin smiled at Jin, straightening up on the stool and putting his phone away.

“Do you want to eat here, or in the dining room?” Jin asked as he picked up both plates.

Jimin shrugged. “Here is fine. Maybe I’m lazy.”

Jin grinned and passed Jimin his plate. “Here is good with me. Let’s eat.”

Halfway through his first bite, a moaning sound from Jimin’s direction caused Jin to practically fall off his stool. Looking over with wide eyes, he saw that Jimin’s eyes were closed as he chewed, face glowing with satisfaction. Jin felt the blush rising on his cheeks, the sound that Jimin made had been anything but innocent sounding, despite it being a mere reaction to his food. Jin knew that he could cook decently well, Youngjae had praised him only enough times to convince him of this, but he hadn’t been expecting a reaction like that.

“Doctor Kim, this is amazing.” Jimin said after swallowing.

Jin felt a bristle-like reaction to what Jimin had called him, though it had only come from a place of respect, it just felt all too uptight for the moment. 

“Thank you, Jimin… and you can just call me Jin… for now, I mean..” The blush was rising again and Jin distracted himself with a bite of food before he could continue the ramble.

“You’re a really good cook, Jin.” Jimin used his chopsticks to pick up another bite and brought it to his mouth, chewing and swallowing without a moan, with some relief, on Jin’s part for this.

The meal was quiet and Jin didn’t mind it as he plucked bite after bite from his plate until it was nearly empty. Glancing over, he noticed that Jimin had nearly finished his portion and he felt proud of the fact that the younger had enjoyed it so much.

“There’s more, if you want seconds.” Jin offered as he took his last bite and considered the idea himself.

“I’m stuffed.” Jimin admitted, setting his chopsticks down and reaching for the napkin beside his plate instead. “That was the best meal I’ve had in awhile.”

“really?” Jin asked, feeling a little skeptical about Jimin’s statement, he was probably just being polite, because he was sure that the young pop star was used to eating high class meals all the time, anything he wanted, probably, at any hour of the day could be delivered at the touch of an app. 

“Really.” Jimin nodded and his expression was genuine enough that Jin felt some of his skepticism melt away. “Call me crazy, but I’m kind of over take out.” He smiled. “This was really good… it reminded me of my mom’s.” Jimin added, his tone much quieter and Jin could tell that there was a sadness behind his words when he spoke of his mother.

“When’s the last time you saw your mom?” Jin asked, knowing that he was approaching sensitive territory and holding his breath as he watched Jimin look away for a moment and then back again.

“Awhile now.” Jimin sighed. “Maybe six months?”

That was longer than Jin had expected Jimin to respond with. “Is she far away?”

Jimin shrugged. “Busan. But it’s not the distance, it’s my schedule.”

Jin looked down at his plate, feeling the tight, twisty sensation of guilt within his chest once again. His own family lived close by and he had had plenty of opportunity to visit home, but he realized that it had been longer than it should have been since he had done so, and Jimin’s lack of ability to do something he took for granted nipped harshly at his conscience. 

“You must really miss her.” Jin said quietly.

Jimin nodded, his dark eyes turning glassy and Jin wanted more than anything to reach out and comfort him before the tears that he could see threatening to fall began to spill. Jimin took a deep breath and gave Jin a brave smile. “I miss her a lot.”

Jin regretted touching such a sensitive nerve, in the sense that he hadn’t wanted to bring Jimin to the edge of tears, but it gave him a pretty good idea of who Jimin was. He’d known he was sensitive from the way he’d behaved in the office, but here in the kitchen with Jin, they weren’t doctor and patient, the dynamic had changed. Slowly, the walls that had protected Jimin before were beginning to crumble to reveal the real boy beneath the illusion. Jimin of Bangtan and Jimin were the same, but they were so different as well. Jin knew that he still had a lot to learn. 

“You know… it’s great, most of the time.” Jimin began. “But, it’s hard too. My job, I mean.”

“I knew what you meant.” Jin gave him a gentle smile. “I’ll be honest. It’s a lot different than I initially thought, too.”  
“You don’t even know.” Jimin said quickly and in a tone that came off as a little sharp, causing Jin to sink back in his seat a little bit.

“I know.” He said quietly, staring down at the countertop between them. “But I’m trying to.”

“Sorry.” Jimin sighed. “I… didn’t mean it to come off the way it did.” 

“It’s okay. I really can’t sit here and claim to know about what your life is like, but, I’m here to listen if you want to tell me.”

“It’s just… hard. And even the other guys don’t understand. Hobi and I had a fight today.” Jimin frowned, folding his arms over his chest and looking away from Jin.

“About what?”

“Just… this stupid article.” Jimin rolled his eyes. “It was about me… and it was just this dumb piece of paparazi trash… but I let it get to me, the way I always do.”

“I think I’d have a hard time with that myself.” Jin offered, feeling a little unsure and a lot of naive about what Jimin was trying to explain to him. Of course, he had no first hard experience with bad press, but he could remember the way bullies would whisper and taunt him in high school and that was bad enough. What Jimin was up against, was so much worse, it was on a much larger scale.

“Hobi says I should focus on the good press only. We just got nominated for Artist of the Year.”

“Wow.” Jin pulled in a breath. “That really is incredible, congratulations.”

“Thanks.” Jimin said. “I… just…” 

But Jimin was still holding onto whatever was haunting him from the malicious writing that he had read. Jin felt so thankful all of the sudden that if he googled himself, he wouldn’t be met with a slew of rumours and garbage meant to make him feel terrible about himself. “What did this other article say?”

“That… Well, I used to be fatter… but that I’d gained back some weight that I lost.”

“Fatter? Jimin, you’re not fat.”

“I used to be. I still am, really…” His voice trailed away again.

“Jimin, I saw your records, you’ve lost weight since-”

“No, I gained some back, recently.” Jimin shook his head. “Trust me, I check every day. We have to… we’re not allowed to gain weight or our wardrobes won’t fit.”

Jin’s heart began to pound. It was starting to line up, the clues that would lead to his conclusion. Jimin’s extreme reaction to the article, the sensitivity to Hoseok’s advice, the fact that he’d called himself fat when he was actually underweight, topped off with the fact he admitted to weighing himself daily for the absurd restrictions he was living under. Understandably, Jimin had developed a very unhealthy relationship with his personal image. Jin took a deep breath, knowing that he was going to have to face this head on, that as uncomfortable as it was going to make him and Jimin both, he was going to have to be blunt. He needed to know if Jimin was making himself sick because he felt so poorly about himself and his weight. It could be the beginnings of bulimia and it could become life threatening, especially to someone like Jimin who couldn’t avoid the constant criticism that came with being in the spotlight. 

“Jimin. Does that article have anything to do with why you were throwing up?”

“Kind of.” Jimin admitted. “I was just really upset after arguing with Hobi… so… I went to the vending machine and bought like… four kit kat bars, and ate them all. Because…” Jimin’s voice cracked a little bit. “I’m d-d-disgusting.” 

Jin watched as the younger boy began to crumble, his shoulders trembling and his hands covering his face as he began to cry. 

“Jimin.” Jin whispered, pulling himself closer and wrapping an arm around his quaking shoulders before his conscience could tell him that it wasn’t professional. It didn’t matter. They weren’t in the office and nothing was going to hold him back from responding the way he knew was right. “Take a deep breath, calm down. It’s okay.” Jin brushed his hand up and down Jimin’s upper arm as he squeezed him in a side hug for a moment and then pulled away as Jimin’s breathing began to slow a little bit.

“You were really brave for telling me that.” 

Jin spoke quietly, feeling his heart pounding for a few reasons. He wasn’t the most experienced when it came to eating disorders, it had only been something he had learned about in school and hadn’t had much practical exposure to. He couldn’t help but worry he could misunderstand or misdiagnose Jimin, so he wasn’t going to use labels just yet, he wasn’t going to try and force Jimin to tell him anything else, because what had happened seemed to be clear. Jimin was upset because of the fight with his best friend and he had used food to comfort himself, the way so many people did. Jin himself, could recall many times he had tucked into a pint of Hagen Dasz or ordered a large boba tea with extra toppings after a bad day. It was what had happened after Jimin had treated himself that was cause for concern. The guilt from splurging on the food had caused him to throw it back up. 

“Is it okay if I run to the bathroom?” Jimin asked and Jin couldn’t help but tense up, worrying about the fact that they’d just finished a meal. Still, he wasn’t going to protest and risk upsetting Jimin over an unfair assumption. He’d also drank two large glasses of water, after all.

“Um, sure.” Jin said. “Did you see where it was?”

“Yeah, down the hall, right?” JImin stood up.

Jin nodded and the younger boy disappeared from the room. Jin let out a breath that he didn’t realize he’d been holding and reached for his phone that he’d tucked away, pleased that he’d have a moment to check the message that was waiting for him on the dating app. He felt his fingers trembling a little bit as he waited for the program to load, hoping he wouldn’t be too let down if the message wasn’t even from Min-Jun, which was a distinct possibility. But, the message was indeed from Min-Jun and Jin could hear his heart pounding between his ears as he opened up the message and held his breath as his eyes danced over the decidedly small body of text - much shorter than he had expected.

“Hey, 

So sorry for the late reply… I came on to delete the app and saw that you had replied. :( I met someone — off the app, and am now in a relationship. You seem like a really great guy and I hope you meet someone special soon. Take care, MJ”

All of his hoping had been for nothing. Jin felt more discouraged than ever about the prospect of finding anything more than creeps and perverts on the app but before he could give it any more thought, a voice behind him caused him to jump, dropping his phone on the counter.

“Whatcha reading?”

A quiet chuckle and then Jimin slid back down in the stool beside him. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s okay.” Jin said, trying to force out a friendly smile to show that it really was fine and that he hadn’t just been severely disappointed, but Jimin’s eyes were moving over his features, reading. 

“What’s wrong?” Jimin asked. “Something’s up. I can sense it. Did I do something?”

“No!” Jin said quickly. “It’s nothing you did. I promise.”

Jimin watched him for another long moment, dark eyes drinking him in and thick lips set in a pout. “Promise?”

Jin nodded. “Definitely not you. It’s just… it’s stupid.”

“Tell me?”

Jimin spoke with such sincerity that Jin had a hard time maintaining eye contact and shaking his head no. So he sighed instead, telling himself that he’d already gone into the deep end by bringing Jimin to his apartment at all. Jimin had been open with him, and it was only fair that he could be open with him as well, even if it were an entirely different subject. And even if it was as pathetic as being upset about being rejected on a dating app.

“Fine.” Jin spoke and then took a breath before continuing, holding Jimin’s attention. “Have you heard of an app called… Grindr?”

Jimin’s face shifted into a shade of red and a cheeky smile spread over his lips. “Doct- I mean. Jin. You use Grindr?”

Oh god. Jin wished that the floor could open up and swallow him right then and there. So JImin knew what it was. And he was smiling like he knew what it was very well. Jin felt his cheeks begin to burn as he realized that he had admitted to something else when he had asked Jimin about the app. Despite the fact that Jimin hadn’t asked him plainly about it yet, Grindr was an app meant for gay men. Jin had just all but admitted to Jimin that he was gay. Where was the backspace or undo button on life when you needed it? He thought to himself as Jimin grinned at him, looking rather amused with his newfound information. Just then, the sound of a cellphone filled the room and Jimin jumped in his seat.

“Fuck.” He mumbled, rolling his eyes as he accepted the call and brought the phone to his ear.

Jin listened to the one sided conversation for a moment before deciding to give Jimin some privacy, as it sounded as though it may be about work. Picking up the plates, he carried them to the sink along with the water glasses and set them down. He cleaned up the pans from the stove top and set them in the sink as well with some soapy water to soak in. Reaching for a cloth, he wiped at the counter and when he was satisfied that the kitchen was clean enough, he turned back towards the breakfast nook and found Jimin was done on the phone.

“That was Namjoon” Jimin announced without prompting. “He needs me to come back to the dorms.”

“I can give you a lift back.” Jin offered. “I hope I didn’t get you in trouble.”

“You didn’t.” Jimin shook his head. “We were supposed to be off tomorrow, but now we aren’t, so I need to get to bed.”

Jin wasn’t sure what to say, so he followed Jimin wordlessly down the hall and as they got their shoes on, he realized he was a little disappointed to see Jimin leave so soon, but on the other hand, he was rather relieved that he wasn’t going to have to talk about the rejection. Jimin had seemingly all but forgotten the app as he turned his attention back to his own phone, typing out a message quickly to someone that Jin could only presume was Namjoon or one of the other members. When he was finished, Jin led them out of the apartment and locked the door behind them.

The drive was quiet and the dorms were surprisingly close to his apartment, just one street over. No wonder Jimin had been so curious about his neighborhood, as they shared the same one. Jimin was transfixed with his phone, the reserved boy from the ride home had seemingly returned and replaced the one that had opened up to him after supper. When Jin pulled into the parking lot of the dorm, Jimin sighed softly and paused.

“I really appreciate the meal.” Jimin said. “And… all of this. I’m sure it’s outside of your… job description.” 

Jin blinked. “I… I guess so. But I don’t mind. I was worried about you.”

“You don’t need to worry.” Jimin told him, but Jin was hardly convinced. “I’ll be fine.”

‘I’d actually like to talk about things a little bit more. Can you schedule an appointment sometime over the next couple of weeks? I’ll let you choose when. And we can just talk, again.”

Jimin sighed. “I guess so.”

“Thank you, Jimin. I won’t keep you any longer, get going.”

“Alright, thanks Docto-... Jin. Have a good night.” Jimin reached for the handle on the door of the car and pushed it open, hopping out onto the ground and just when Jin thought he would turn and disappear, he turned back, eyes wide and bright, smiling in a cheeky way. “And Jin?”

“You’re better than whoever that guy was that rejected you.”

Before Jin could say anything else, Jimin slammed the door and was gone.


	16. Office Hours - Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little shorter than the others, admittedly it’s a little dry as well, but I wanted to put a little breathing room between the scenes. Expect another chapter this week. Likely Friday! For now, enjoy this ~

Tuesday morning felt like the kind of morning that should be Friday. It felt as though it had already been a whole week in just a day and Jin was still exhausted when he climbed into his car, rubbing the sleep from his eyes before pushing the key into the ignition. Being in the car reminded him that the last time he’d driven had been when he had taken Jimin home - or to the dorms, the night before. It felt like so long ago and yet also had been the only thing on his mind.

What had Jimin meant by what he had said? How much of the message had he read? Jin had wondered again and again, but the message had been so short that he couldn’t help but accept that he’d probably read it all. Maybe it had been his fault for reading the message with Jimin around, but at the same time, invading someone’s privacy like that was downright disrespectful in Jin’s opinion. He felt a little disappointed that Jimin had snooped on him like that, and he could only hope that it wasn’t with ill intention.

Jimin didn’t seem like a mean spirited person, but still, Jin had all but come out to him and now Jimin knew something about him - about their doctor - that no one else knew. Being gay shouldn’t make a difference, but, it could still be the source of rumours and whispers. The last thing Jin had ever wanted to do was draw that sort of attention to himself in his workplace and despite the fact he hadn’t asked Jimin to keep any information private, he hoped that it would go without saying. He had to hope that he could trust him.

And part of him did. There was something about Jimin that fascinated him, there was a sweetness there and a genuine softness to him that most men lacked. Jimin was confident in himself and unafraid to be wholly himself and it was an attractive feature, as much as Jin hated to admit it. He didn’t want to be thinking about Jimin as anything but a patient, but the more he had learned about him, the more he wanted to learn. He just felt drawn to him and it could be for so many reasons besides attraction or romance, Jin reasoned with himself, he was just an interesting individual. Sure. 

Jin had tossed and turned all night and at the coffee shop, he ordered the largest size he could - with an extra shot of espresso. He thought he could use all of the help he could get and swallowed several hot mouthfuls before he even turned the car on. The drive to the office had become familiar and any nerves or jitters that Jin had felt during his earliest days had all but disappeared, walking into the office had become like returning to a second home.

Katy greeted him with her wide smile and pulled his schedule out of a stack, handing it to him just before the phone rang and she took the call as he took the page and kept walking, deciding to look at it when he got to his office. After hanging up his coat, Jin sauntered over to his desk and leaned against it as his eyes scanned the names on the pages. While he had initially been a little anxious that he might see Jimin’s name or someone else from Bangtan, none of the names were ones that he had seen before. It looked like a fairly mundane day and Jin was grateful, hoping that as the day progressed, his thoughts of Jimin might diminish.

By the end of the day, Jin was a little more tired than he had expected to be, as he’d had two additional appointments added to his schedule. Despite the distraction, however, he was unable to shake the thought of Jimin and the thought that he could be sharing his personal information. Besides that, he wondered how Jimin was doing, if he and Hoseok had made up after their fight and if he was eating properly. Repeatedly, he told himself that it was typical for a doctor to worry about his patient, even though a part of him knew that he had a fondness for Jimin, there was just something genuinely sweet about him. 

As Jin was filing the last of his paperwork, a knock came on the door.

“Come in.” Jin called out, pushing the drawer of the filing cabinet closed as the door of the room swung open and Doctor Wang stepped inside, giving Jin a polite smile.

“Hi, Doctor Kim. How was your day?”

“Oh, it was good. How was yours?” Jin returned the smile as he stood up straight to face the older man.

“It was fine as well, thank you. I just dropped by to give you the first of the question submissions for your sexual health seminar.” The older man explained as he pulled a manila coloured envelope from his shoulder bag.

Jin took the envelope and thanked him, admittedly a little curious to read what had been submitted for the seminar. Doctor Wang explained some of the finer details of the seminar and Jin listened intently, feeling the slightest bit nervous about his ability to pull it off, but hopeful that he hadn’t been asked without good reason. Maybe reading the questions would help, he decided as well, and after Doctor Wang had left the room, Jin made his way back over to his desk and sat down with the envelope, opening it up and pouring the contents out onto his desk. Half a dozen or so slips of paper tumbled out and Jin reached for the first one, completely unsure of what he was about to read.

“Is there an average penis size?? How do I know if I am just a late bloomer or if I am doomed.” 

Jin felt his cheeks blush as his eyes read over the words a second time. It was pretty typical for younger guys to worry about the size of their… equipment, and Jin knew that it would be an easy enough question to address, so he tucked it into a new envelope, labelled questions to use. Doctor Wang had explained that not all of the submissions would be things that could be addressed, and to expect that some could be downright foolish, things written down as dares or as a way to embarrass him. Jin could only hope that the submissions would be genuine, but, there were quite a large number of patients that came to the clinic with just as large of an assortment of personalities. Jin picked up a second piece of paper and unfolded it.

“Can you catch the same STD’s through oral sex that you can through intercourse?”

He actually felt glad that someone was asking about sexually transmitted diseases, because he planned to talk about them anyway. Because most of the schooling that the idols who were of high school age received was done through tutoring, they missed out on the typical sexual health classes that they would have attended in public school. The next two pieces of paper that Jin unfolded happened to be about sexually transmitted diseases as well and Jin was feeling increasingly confident about the seminar, hopeful that he could put together a presentation that would be informative and able to cover most of his submissions. 

“Is one form of birth control more effective than another?”

Written in purple ink, Jin expected that it had been from a girl. He had seen a few girls for pap smears and birth control prescriptions, which had been varying levels of embarrassment for him and the patients both. It was an obviously uncomfortable exam and Jin felt even more nervous about the way he touched female patients because he didn’t have the same… body parts to know how things felt. With male patients, he felt it easier to explain the procedures because he understood the way certain touches felt, but with a woman, it was only guesswork and empathy that could guide him. 

Reaching for the last piece of paper, he unfolded it and found his eyes widen slightly as they travelled over the words scribbled down. 

“Will it be painful the first time I have (Anal) sex with my boyfriend?” 

Jin couldn’t stop the blush that began to rise over his cheeks nor the memories that reeled in his mind of his own first time. His boyfriend had been so sweet and been so careful, as well. It hadn’t been without its share of awkwardness, with a struggle to open the condom package and pouring lube all over the bed with a shaking hand. But painful, it hadn’t been. They’d prepared, with Jin on his back with his legs spread wide in a way they’d never been before. It had been embarrassing to him at first to be exposed and on display in a way he hadn’t before, but plenty of gentle kisses on his thighs quickly had him paying more attention to how good he felt and less to his anxieties. The first finger had felt admittedly strange but soon the uncomfortable feelings melted into warm pleasure. When his boyfriend finally slid into him, he’d been stretched open and ready and while it had been a little uncomfortable, it was far from painful and really, quite a tender experience. Jin chewed on his lip for a moment before tucking the slip into the envelope with the others, it might be a little embarrassing to talk about but it felt worthwhile. He hoped this his advice would be able to guide the person who had written the question towards a similar experience to his own. 

As Jin hung up his doctor’s coat and traded it for his wool overcoat, he stifled a yawn and decided that a stop at Starbucks was going to be necessary if there was to be any hope about staying up long enough to wash the dishes after supper. He gave Katy a quick wave on his way out and then stepped out into the cool evening air where the sun had long set and made it feel much later than 5:30. Jin hurried through the air with a shiver and opened up the car door, sliding into his seat and giving his phone a quick glance. No important notifications, he put the key into the ignition and turned the engine on. 

The cafe was a lot busier than Jin had expected for the time of day, but set on his vision of a grande butterscotch latte, he stepped into line and pulled out his phone to kill time as he waited. When it was his turn to order, he moved as quickly as he could and tipped, despite the slow service, he knew that the baristas were doing their best. Glancing over the counter, he watched as the girl at the cash register relayed his order to the tall gentleman at the bar who began his drink by steaming two shots of espresso. 

Jin had looked away by the time the milk was being poured, his eyes flitting between the half occupied tables, wondering what it would be like to bring a boyfriend on an after supper coffee date. As his eyes traveled to the last corner of the small cafe, his stomach plunged. At first, nothing too unexpected, just another guy reading a book but as he turned the page, his head moved and Jin felt a cold shiver. A face that was all too familiar and feelings that he had tried so hard to forget about. What was Colin doing at the coffee shop in his neighbourhood? Just as Colin’s eyes looked up from the book again, Jin’s drink was called and he hastily turned, reaching with trembling fingers to take the cup and get out of the cafe.

If Colin had noticed him, he’d pretended not to and Jin felt a mix of relief and disappointment as he rushed out of the coffee shop and into what felt like the sanctuary of a parking lot. Sure, he had no idea what he would have said but it had been hard to forget how much fun the date had been - up until he’d got the call, that was. And seeing Colin again, only brought all those feelings of shattered hopes and disappointment bubbling back up to the surface. Climbing into his car, Jin drove home with the music turned up loud and his latte untouched, no longer in the mood to stay up any later than he needed to. 

Two mornings later, Jin felt grateful to be feeling a little bit more like himself as he made his way towards the clinic with his coffee clutched in his hand. 

“Good morning, Katy.” Jin greeted the friendly receptionist with a smile.

“Good morning, Doctor Kim. You have a pretty light day today, unless you get a call, of course. You never know.” She passed him the page with his schedule printed on it. 

“No, you never know for sure with a job like this. Thanks again, Katy.” Jin dismissed himself while the receptionists phone erupted with a screaming ring, taking her attention. 

Jin scanned the page as he walked down the hall, only two appointments, one being a prescription refill and the other being a simple vaccination update, which was always straight forward, unless the patient was Jimin, of course. With some time before the first appointment, Jin decided to work on the slide show presentation he had started to prepare for the seminar. He had planned to do a general information session on the basics of the most common sexually transmitted diseases and the most typical forms of birth control and protection before answering the pre-selected questions. Between the two segments, there would be opportunity to submit additional questions which Jin would answer if he had time but would otherwise be responded to in a general newsletter sent via email. The more he prepared for the seminar, the better he felt, but he was unable to shake the worry that something unpredictable could spring up on the day of and throw him a curve. It was the nature of his job, after all, to expect the unexpected. 

Between his two appointments, Jin excused himself to pick up some lunch. Typically, he packed himself something, usually leftovers from the previous nights dinner because he almost always made too much, but this morning there had been nothing tempting in the fridge and he opted to buy instead. 

Jin drove to a Viatnamese sandwich shop a few blocks away from the office and ordered himself a Banh Mi sub on a nice crusty roll. The restaurant was busy, but not too busy to stay, and Jin was grateful for the change of scenery to break up his day. Carrying his tray with the sandwich and a milk tea to one of the few vacant spots, he sat down and settled in, hopeful for a peaceful meal. 

Only three bites into his sandwich, Jin heard the distinctly familiar sound of his work phone and pulled it out of his bag, swallowing the sandwich in his mouth as quickly as he could. 

“Hello?” 

“Doctor Kim? So sorry to bother you…” 

Katy’s voice was friendly and bright which caused Jin to resist the heavy temptation to sigh, holding his breath instead. Forcing a smile across his lips, hoping he could hide the tingle of annoyance that was nipping at him, he put on his best pleasant tone. Was one quiet meal too much to ask…? 

“That’s okay, Katy. It’s the nature of the job, right?” 

Katy chuckled politely. “I appreciate how easy going you are, Doctor Kim. Anyway… did you happen to bring your doctors bag out with you?” 

“No…” Jin replied, sensing that something had happened and he’d be attending to an incident outside of the clinic. 

“Figured not. Well, we just got a call from the dance studio, one of the members of Bangtan hurt his ankle during practice. It might be broken.” 

“Shouldn’t we call an ambulance?” Jin asked, feeling his heart beginning to beat faster as a million worries flooded his mind. 

“Doctor Wang prefers that we not issue ambulances unless absolutely necessary… He was hoping that you could swing by and take a look?” 

“I can do that.” Jin confirmed, understanding that the protocol to not send an ambulance was based on not wanting to attract unnecessary attention to the idols, but he hoped that whoever his patient was, wasn’t in too much pain and even more so, that the bone wasn’t broken, perhaps just sprained. Without an X-Ray, determining such information could be tricky, but he knew he’d have to do his best to try. “I’ll just swing by the office and pick up my things. I shouldn’t be longer than ten minutes to the office and another ten to the dance studio.” 

“Perfect, thank you, Doctor Kim. I’ll call back and let them know you’re on your way.” 

Jin looked at his sandwich, opting to wrap up what was left, despite the fact that his appetite had all but disappeared. Worry had replaced hunger, and he felt a little guilty for his earlier annoyance as well, suddenly overwhelmed by anxieties about which of the members had gotten hurt and how serious it was, knowing that a broken ankle would certainly throw a wrench in performance schedules and other idol duties. Jin could hardly imagine any of them on stage in a cast.

“Katy? May I ask who it is that I’m seeing?” 

“Jung Hoseok.”


	17. Office Hours - Sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here is the first of what will be two parts featuring Hoseok! Jin arrives at the studio to take a look at Hobi’s ankle and finds that he’s not the only one in need of attention.

When Jin pulled into the parking lot of the dance studio, he immediately spotted a figure waiting on the steps at the back door. As he drove closer, he was able to make out under the red ball cap turned backwards, a pair of strong furrowed brows that could belong to no other than Taehyung. Jin parked in a spot that was as close to the building and Taehyung as possible and wasted no time at all gathering up his bag before stepping out of the car into the chilly air. He jogged over to the steps and Taehyung stood up, giving him a slight smile that contradicted the worried storminess that was brewing in his dark eyes. 

“You’re here.” Taehyung said softly. “That was fast.”

“I hurried. How is he doing? What happened?” Jin asked, glancing towards the door in a silent signal that Taehyung seemed to respond to as he turned away before responding and pulled at the handle, letting them inside.

“He’s sore. He can’t put weight on it.” Taehyung answered one of Jin’s questions but fell quiet as he led Jin down the hall with a stiffness in his shoulders that was too obvious to go unnoticed.

“That’s not good.” Jin hummed, wanting to press Taehyung about what exactly had happened but sensing that there was a reason that he hadn’t explained it fully yet. What that was, Jin wasn’t sure, but as silence lingered between them, he began to worry about what was on Taehyung’s mind. He had been so open with his feelings and his thoughts before that the silence now felt decidedly out of character. 

“W-we’re in a different room today.” Taehyung explained as he took a turn towards a staircase that lead downstairs, contrary to the studio that Jin had remembered travelling upstairs to. Jin noticed as well, the stutter in his voice and the crack in his tone.

“Taehyung.” Jin reached out and brushed his fingers against the inside of Taehyung’s elbow, only trying to get his attention but feeling his heart stop when the younger boy jumped under his touch, freezing in his steps and spinning around to face him with wide, glassy eyes. “Is something wrong?” Jin let go of the breath he had been holding, staring straight into Taehyung’s eyes and noticing the way that they seemed to be at the verge of spilling tears. Intuitively, he knew the answer to his question before Taehyung could respond, but he needed to hear it for himself before he could ask why.

“I think everyone is mad at me. Yoongi definitely is.”

Jin felt his stomach constrict, he was pained to know that Taehyung felt as though his friends were upset with him. It was miserable when he and Youngjae disagreed about something, and Jin could only imagine that if it were five people upset with you, it would feel five times worse. But, he was just as confused as he was worried, because what did Taehyung have to do with Hoseok getting hurt? If that was what they were mad about at all? Had Taehyung done something else? As confused and curious as he was, he knew that he had Hoseok to worry about even more than Taehyung’s emotions. Still, he couldn’t have Taehyung on the verge of crying if he could do even something small about it. 

“What do you mean? Why are they mad?” 

Taehyung drew a deep breath, his eyes falling away from Jin’s for a moment and then back again. “I know we don’t really have time for this. But long story short, we were supposed to be done practicing. So Jungkook and I were goofing around with a water bottle. Some got on the floor.” 

Jin all at once understood what must have happened, and he felt a deep pang of sympathy for what was clearly an accident, but it had been avoidable, if he were being honest as well. Still, Taehyung had certainly never intended to hurt Hoseok. But wait, didn’t Taehyung mention that practice had been over. He was about to interject when Taehyung began to speak again.

“We were watching recordings of practice, like we always do, and Hobi noticed something that he decided he wanted to run through again. So he started up the music and got right to it, and well… he slipped and went down.” Taehyung swallowed. “And then Yoongi freaked out.” He added, much more quietly.

Jin sighed softly, wishing that he could pull Taehyung in for a hug but deciding that it would probably be bordering on unprofessional. He stared at the younger, noting the slumped shoulders and the downcast eyes, the way that Taehyung was obviously placing the entire weight of the accident on his own shoulders when a number of things had in fact contributed, including Hoseok’s own desire to run through the choreography. There were a lot of things that he wanted to tell Taehyung to help him feel better, but there wasn’t ample time to begin, so he’d need to summarize and he could only hope that it would be enough to at least ease some of his worries.

“Taehyung, it was just an accident, okay? Hoseok deciding to run through the part again contributed to the situation just as much as the bit of water on the floor. Of course, you’d never intentionally hurt your friend.”

Taehyung shook his head. “Never. Yoongi freaked out though, said that Jungkook and I goofing around would be the reason that we -” Taehyung’s voice cracked and his eyes watered, fat tears spilling over his swollen eyelids on both sides and pouring over onto his red cheeks. He sighed and swiped at the tears before taking a shaky breath, Jin could tell that he wanted to keep explaining, but the sight of him was too much.

“Hey.” Jin murmured. Despite the fact that his logical brain was screaming at him to slow down and stop, his emotional brain was pulling Taehyung towards him, gathering him with his long arms and only noticing how much smaller he seemed, despite his tall stature, when he’d brought him close enough to his chest to be touching. Jin gave him a hug, holding his breath until he felt Taehyung tentatively reach out and wrap his arms around him, surprisingly strong in his hug back and they stayed still for a moment, a slight tremble in Taehyung’s shoulders that Jin wished he could soothe away but forced himself to pull away from. He really needed to get in to see Hoseok. “It was an accident. It’s really going to be okay, Taehyung.”

Taehyung nodded slowly and offered Jin a tight lipped smile, obviously doing his very best to be brave, and that was going to have to be good enough for the time being, both of them seemed to know.

“We should get in there.” Taehyung said, his voice was barely louder than a whisper but still, Jin heard everything he said quite clearly. “But, thanks. For listening.” 

He felt warm for Taehyung’s praise and he smiled as his cheeks blushed a shade of pink that he wished they wouldn’t. In some ways he felt fortunate that there wasn’t much to do except reach for the door of the dance hall that Taehyung had led him to, knowing that he needed to shift all of his attention to Hoseok. Taehyung stepped inside as Jin held the door and then followed, noticing immediately that Hobi was sitting on a leather covered loveseat with Yoongi beside him, looking quite stressed, as Taehyung had warned him.

Namjoon stood up from the cluster that was sitting on the floor around the loveseat and gave Jin a thankful smile.

“Thank you for coming, Doctor Kim. We appreciate it.” He reached out and shook Jin’s hand, his long fingers wrapping between the doctors and giving him a thankful squeeze. 

“You’re most welcome, it’s what I’m here for.” Jin returned the smile and the handshake and then looked towards Hoseok who looked up at him at the same time, pushing a piece of hair away from his eyes and giving him a pained smile.

Yoongi’s head swivelled towards Jin and then to his left, narrowed eyes falling on Taehyung. Jin felt the urge to ask Yoongi to back off, knowing that Taehyung was already sensitive and the pressure would probably be enough to set him over the edge again if Yoongi kept it up, Still, it wasn’t really his business, as his business as Hoseok and he did his best to ignore Yoongi’s sharp stare that followed Taehyung as he sat down beside Jimin and Jin kneeled on the floor in front of Hoseok, feeling Yoongi’s eyes landing on him instead.

“I'm worried it’s broken.” Yoongi announced. “Which means we won’t be touring. We can’t perform without our dance lead.” His eyes moved back to Taehyung and Jin knew that he was going to need to put an end to this after all.

“Why don’t I take a look at it before we jump to any conclusions.” Jin spoke with an even tone but kept his eyes on Yoongi, who did anything but wither under his stare. Instead, his shoulders only stiffened as he sat up a little taller and swallowed, nodding his head but remaining silent as he stared hard at Jin. “I know you’re worried, but we all need to be calm right now, for Hoseok’s sake.” Jin continued, hoping that he could tame some of the tension that Yoongi was radiating. The room felt heavy with silence as Yoongi just stared at Jin for a moment longer and then let go of the breath that he had been seemingly holding. 

“You’re right.” Yoongi said quietly. “I’m just worried.”

“Of course.” Jin said softly, wanting Yoongi to know that he really did understand what it felt like to be worried about a friend. Though he’d never been in the position personally, he could also appreciate that some of Yoongi’s worries stemmed from the fact that Hoseok’s injury would affect not only Hoseok himself, but the entire group, “Do you mind if I trade places with you?” 

“Y-yeah.” Yoongi agreed, looking towards Hoseok and meeting his eyes before getting up, trailed by Namjoon as he crossed the room and sat down on another leather covered couch.

With the spot beside Hoseok free, Jin moved beside him and turned his attention fully to his patient, at last. “So, Hoseok. I’ve heard some things, but why don’t you tell me what happened.”

Hoseok leaned back against the couch a little bit more, wincing as his leg shifted. “Well, I was dancing and I slipped in some water on the floor and my ankle gave out.” He explained. ”And it hurts like hell.” He added, more quietly. 

“Can you walk on it, you got to the couch I guess.”

“Yoongi and Jungkook helped me.” Hoseok explained. “I tried to get up but fell again, I can’t put weight on it at all right now.” 

The fact that Hoseok couldn’t bear any weight on the ankle wasn’t positive, but Jin didn’t want to voice what he was thinking too quickly and worry him. He wanted to find out about if there was any swelling, and where and take a look at the ankle itself, because usually a break would look very obvious. One thing at a time, however, he reminded himself, and knew that remaining calm and steady himself would help his patient a great deal in their effort to do the same. First, he decided that he would find out more about what happened at the time of the actual injury. Had he heard anything? As grotesque as it sounded, a break could be audible.

“When you fell, Hoseok. Did you hear anything? A … snapping sound?”

Hoseok’s eyes widened and he blinked a couple of times before licking his lips and responding in a tight tone. “N-no. I didn’t hear … my ankle bone breaking. It just really hurt.” He spoke slowly, obviously shaken up by Jin’s question. And though it was upsetting to see Hoseok so uncomfortable, Jin was glad that his answer had been what it had been, because that shifted the injury back towards the sprain versus the fracture.

“Take a deep breath.” Jin said softly. “We will figure this out and get you taken care of.”

Hoseok’s eyes held onto Jin’s stare as he took a deep breath and exhaled, and then another, more slowly. “Am I going to have to go to the hospital?”

Jin swallowed, because yes, the hospital was a distinct possibility. It was almost impossible to tell with all certainty if a limb was fractured or not without an x-ray, and there was no way that Jin was going to take any chances what so ever, with the fact that Hoseok couldn’t bear weight on it. Of course, he wanted to take a look before deciding for sure, but a trip for an X-Ray seemed to be a distinct possibility and there was no sense in being dishonest about it. As much as Jin wanted his patients to be comfortable, he never spoke to them with anything but honesty, because it was easier to gain trust initially than to recover it once lost. 

“Maybe, for an X-Ray. But, let me take a look at it before we talk about that, okay?” 

Hoseok nodded. “Yeah, that’s fair.” He agreed and shifted his weight a little bit. “Do you need me to move?”

Jin shook his head and started to stand up. “No. You can stay like that, just give me one second.” 

Jin moved as though someone had pressed the accelerate button as he got up from the couch and crossed the room, going to the sink and washing his hands before pulling on a pair of latex gloves. Stepping between the members of the group that were on the floor, Jin kneeled beside Hoseok and glanced up at him.

“I’m going to roll up your pant leg and take a look, okay?”

Hoseok nodded and sat up a little taller, remaining very still as Jin moved his hands gingerly towards the hem of his pants and as carefully as he could, he drew the fabric upwards to expose a very swollen ankle. Carefully, Jin moved one of his hands to cradle the bottom of Hoseok’s foot and used his fingers to feel through the fabric of his socks as gently as he possibly could, hearing Hoseok wince and hiss a couple of times as his fingers moved over the bony part of his ankle where it was the most swollen. Fortunately, he didn’t feel any huge bulges or protrusions, nor did he see any, which was promising. He wanted to take a closer look still.

“Can we take your sock off?”

“Yeah.” Hoseok agreed. 

“I’ll be as careful as I can.” Jin promised and Hoseok remained quiet, a very calm patient, Jin decided and was grateful for his co-operation and his efforts to make it as easy as he could for him as he carefully eased the sock over his foot. As the ankle was revealed, it was very swollen and so much so that it was impossible to be certain that nothing looked out of place. JIn held his breath as he skimmed his fingers over the pained limb, not wanting to apply any more pressure than absolutely needed but wanting to feel for any obvious bumps. When Hoseok hissed particularly loudly in response to one of his touches, Jin drew back with a frown. 

“I think we need an X-ray.” He announced. “I can’t be sure one way or another.”

Hoseok sighed, his cheeks turning a darker shade of red and his eyes closing for a long moment. It seemed as though he was doing his best to compose himself and Jin wondered if he might be on the verge of tears, but when his eyes opened, they were clear. He looked around the room, all five pairs of eyes belonging to his friends were on him, with one Min Yoongi looking still especially tense, with arms drawn over his chest.

“If you had to pick odds…” Hoseok spoke up.

Jin sighed. “I don’t want to take a guess one way or another, I think it’s just best we get an X-ray, and go from there.”

Yoongi got up from where he was sitting and crossed the room, sitting down carefully beside Hoseok and shuffling closer. Jin felt a little intrusive all of the sudden, for there was an obvious closeness between the two. Jin remembered how caring Hoseok had been with Jimin and knew that the group was lucky to have someone as sweet as Hoseok amongst them, a good friend who was obviously very well loved. 

“Do you want me to come with you to the hospital?” Yoongi asked, looking into Hoseok’s eyes and reaching out, laying a hand on his forearm. 

“I-” Hoseok started to respond but Namjoon’s voice cut through, louder.

“No, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He announced. “The more of us that are there, the more likely we are to be recognized.”

“But Hobi shouldn’t have to go by himself.” Yoongi argued, narrowed eyes now focusing their glare on the leader, obviously unafraid to challenge his opinion. 

Jin thought that it was sweet that Yoongi wanted to accompany Hoseok for moral support, but Namjoon had a point, that the more members, the more likely they were to be recognized, where as just Hoseok by himself was a little less obvious. Especially with a hat and a face mask, Jin reasoned, remembering the way Taehyung’s red hat even changed his appearance - admittedly, in a nice way, it was cute. Jin wanted to shake his head, cursing himself for allowing his mind to wander in that direction again. Back to the matter at hand, he looked between Hoseok, Namjoon and Yoongi before clearing his throat.

“He won’t be alone, I’ll be going with him, Yoongi.” Jin explained.

Yoongi’s lips were set in a straight line as he shifted his focus from Jin to Hoseok, giving his friend a sad look, obviously sorry that he couldn’t go with him and be there for him. Fortunately, Hoseok didn’t seem too shaken up by the idea of going alone, but Jin knew that the pain of his ankle was probably the most forefront thing on his mind and for that, Jin hoped that he could speed things up a little bit.

“It’s also better if we have less people go because it could already be crowded and we wouldn’t want to take away a seat from someone who needs it more.” Jin explained.

“Good point, Doctor Kim.” Namjoon interjected. “We’ll go out and get something to eat.”

“Hardly feel like eating when we don’t know if we’ll be touring.” Yoongi mumbled, none too quietly and Jin bristled for the fact that Taehyung would have winced at the sharpness of the statement.

“Yoongi.” Namjoon spoke up again, this time his tone was much more stern than it had been before and Jin was relieved that the leader of the group was reacting the same way he would have himself. “The doctor said that they would get an x-ray and go from there. Let’s not jump to any conclusions until we have all of the facts.” Namjoon’s voice was even and calm, but behind the words was the promise that he wasn’t going to be argued with any further.

Yoongi rolled his eyes and Jin could practically feel Namjoon’s skin burning at the reaction but he remained quiet and still, hopeful that soon the tension would pass and the focus could shift back to what really mattered, getting Hoseok taken care of. 

“Is there anything I - we” Namjoon corrected himself as his eyes danced between the other members. “Can do to help?”

Jin stood up from where he’d been kneeling on the ground and turned towards Namjoon. There was the matter of getting Hoseok to the hospital, which would be easiest with an ambulance but could be done with a wheelchair, if by slim chance they could get their hands on one in a dance studio. Still, it was worth asking, any opportunity to avoid having to draw attention to the incident by calling an ambulance to the dance studio. “Well. You don’t happen to know if there’s a wheelchair here? We can’t have Hoseok walking on that ankle.” 

Namjoon frowned, shaking his head. An ambulance it would be. 

While Namjoon and Jungkook discussed which restaurant to go to for dinner, Yoongi stayed with Hoseok on the couch and Jin got his phone out, thumbing through his mental list of hospitals before deciding which one to call. In a matter of minutes, an ambulance had been arranged and Jin had requested that the sirens weren’t used. For one, it wasn’t an emergency as much as an easier method of transportation but for two, it would draw less attention. When he returned his attention to the group, Hoseok had a light jacket put on, as well as the sock Jin had removed, replaced. 

“It shouldn’t be too long.” Jin announced, picking up his doctors bag and putting away the latex gloves. “Did you want a Tylenol, Hobi?” Jin suggested as his fingers skimmed the bottle he kept in his bag. 

“Yeah, I mean, yes, please.” Hoseok smiled gratefully as Jin passed him two tablets. 

“Water?” Hoseok looked around him, eyes scanning various surfaces.

“Here.” 

Jimin’s soft voice and then he padded across the room, clutching a mostly full water bottle that was passed to Hoseok who took a grateful sip, then the pills, then another sip. Jin’s eyes followed Jimin, realizing that despite the fact that Jimin had been there all along, he hadn’t really noticed. He wondered, as he watched Jimin walk back across the room and lazily back hug Taehyung, how his week had been. Had he been eating, and what had he been eating? Visibly, he looked as thin as he had before but not less, and of course it had only been a matter of days. He seemed fine, and that would have to suffice, Jin told himself as Jungkook’s voice cut through the room. 

“I see an ambulance!”


	18. Office Hours - Seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jin accompanies Hoseok to the emergency room to find out if his ankle is broken or not.

When the back doors of the ambulance closed, Jin felt a mixture of relief and anxiety. They were on their way to the hospital, but something about being alone with Hoseok (and a paramedic that was riding in the back with them, as well) was less stressful than the pressure he felt with six guys watching his every move. At first, the ride was quiet and Jin peacefully observed Hoseok’s eyes travelling around the ambulance, wide and curious as they roamed over every piece of equipment and machine. He seemed younger than he was in the way he explored with his eyes, but Jin could appreciate the fact that although he was fairly used to what the inside of an ambulance looked like, most people weren’t. Hoseok remained quiet as they travelled along the streets of Seoul and Jin wondered what he was thinking about, if he was nervous about the hospital itself or the implications of a fracture, or maybe, most likely, a cocktail of both.

“Have you ever ridden in an ambulance before?” Jin asked, breaking the silence.

Hoseok looked towards him and shook his head slowly. “No. This is my first time.”

Jin nodded, feeling the eyes of the paramedic who sat across from them on him. He stirred a little bit, unsure of if he should continue to try and make small talk, or if Hoseok would prefer to ride in silence. Deciding on the former, if only to comfort his own jittery nerves, Jin drew a breath before speaking again;

“I can’t say it’s my first. But it always feels a little bit weird.”

“It does.” The paramedic agreed. “I’m Jong-sik, by the way.” 

“Seokjin.” Jin nodded. “I’m a private physician for Hoseok.” He gestured towards Hobi.

Jong-sik glanced between Hoseok and Jin, if he was thinking something, he was keeping his thoughts to himself, but Jin couldn’t help but feel curious to know if he was comparing their careers. Admittedly, he was thinking about it. When he’d been in school, a lot of his classmates had moved into the paramedic program, wanting to work in the rush of emergency medicine. But it was a little too unpredictable for Jin, and he had found that doing residencies in the emergency department had been stressful enough. He really enjoyed the regularity of his position at the private clinic and the opportunity it gave him to develop relationships with his patients. Still, he had a lot of admiration for what Jong-sik did, because he could appreciate that it took a special kind of person to stay calm in the situations that a paramedic was undoubtedly faced with on a daily basis. Before the conversation could continue, the ambulance pulled into the emergency wing parking lot and into the bay.

Jin felt a little out of place and awkward as a bystander in a place as familiar as the hospital, but he could only watch as Hoseok was moved into a wheelchair from the ambulance. Jong-sik took the handles of the chair and pushed him inside of the hospital with Jin following closely behind them. The hospital was one which Jin had done a residency in, though only for a couple of weeks before being transferred to a children’s hospital. Still, it felt strangely like all of the days he had spent there as he walked down the hall towards the emergency room reception area, feeling almost as though he should be in scrubs himself. 

Hoseok answered several questions at the reception desk and Jin watched as the triage nurse recorded the information and entered it into the system. Because the emergency room was so busy, the nurse explained that it could be a couple of hours before Hoseok would be seen by a doctor. With his injury being far from life threatening, there were several patients that would be seen ahead of him, but he could request painkillers if needed and he was told to make it known if his level of pain became considerably worse. Hoseok was a good sport about all of it, Jin thought, although he hadn’t been sure why he expected anything less of the mild mannered young man that he had met on his first day when he had accompanied Jimin.

“I guess all we can do now is wait.” Hoseok said from the wheelchair and Jin nodded, standing up and moving behind the chair to push Hoseok towards a row of chairs that was a little less occupied than some of the others.

The waiting room was loud and Jin hoped that the sound would die down after awhile, but as he looked around at the several young families of whimpering children, he knew that that was a high hope. Hoseok stretched his arms above his head and yawned, seemingly trying to get comfortable in the wheelchair and wincing a little as he moved his leg in a way that he shouldn’t have. 

“I’m thirsty.” 

Jin frowned, knowing that it was usually advised that patients in the emergency room didn’t drink, just in case they required surgery. General anesthesia should be performed on an empty stomach, but the chances that Hoseok would require surgery were slim. Still, he worried about making the wrong choice when he knew better. 

“You probably shouldn’t drink anything, just in case.”

“Just in case of what?” Hoseok asked, his brows knitting themselves towards each other in confusion.

“Well.” Jin licked his lips, feeling a twinge of anxiety nipping at his stomach at the notion that he was going to have to explain to Hoseok that there was a slim chance that he would have to have surgery on his ankle, if it was severely fractured, that was. It was far from a likely scenario, but it was the reason that Jin felt pause about offering him a drink. “In the unlikely event that your ankle is badly fractured, you may require surgery to set the bones.” Jin swallowed, feeling the anxiety increasing as Hoseok’s eyes widened, nervousness flashing across his expression. 

“I don’t want surgery.’ Hoseok whispered, his voice on the borderline of cracking and Jin felt a pang of sympathy, the urge to reach out and hug him, but he sat still in his seat instead, staring straight into the younger man’s eyes and taking a steady breath. He needed to stay calm himself if there was any hope of transferring that feeling to Hobi.

“You probably won’t need it. It’s just a precaution.” Jin spoke softly, trying to ensure that he wasn’t speaking too quickly, keeping his words slow. ‘It’s probably just a sprain, but we have to be sure.”

Hoseok nodded and took a breath as his eyes fell closed. Jin watched as he took a few breaths and then opened his eyes again, meeting his stare right away. Jin could sense that Hoseok was mustering every ounce of his will to remain brave and in control of himself but his resolve was beginning to fray a little bit, Jin could see that as well. It was the redness of his cheeks, the flush on his forehead and the way his hands were tugging at his sweatpants a little bit. He was nervous, and trying so hard not to show it. He was being so brave. 

“Hold on, I have an idea.” Jin got up and moved quickly through the emergency room, flitting down the hall as though he knew exactly what he was doing - because really, he did, he just needed to be quick. He could feel the eyes of a nurse on him and when he glanced over, he recognized her dyed dark-red hair and smiled at his friend, Min-seok.

“What are you doing here?” She smiled warmly as she stepped closer to him, tucking her clipboard against her side.

“One of my patients is out in the waiting room. I was wondering, could you get me a cup of ice chips?”

It helped to have friends in high places, JIn thought to himself as he headed back to the waiting room, clutching the cup of ice chips as though it were some great reward. And from the way Hoseok’s eyes lit up with excitement, Jin felt as though it was. He handed him the cup and gave him a shy smile. “Just be discrete, I don’t want to get us in trouble.” Jin said, looking around the crowded room and feeling thankful in a way that the busy-ness of the emergency room would keep the doctors and nurses too occupied to notice Hoseok picking at a cup of ice. It wasn’t enough water that it would cause a serious issue, but it was enough to wet his mouth and help ease his discomfort a little bit, Jin knew, and Hoseok seemed grateful.

“I appreciate this.” Hoseok said, his words muffled a little bit around the piece of ice.

Jin smiled and settled back in his seat, wishing he had a distraction like a cup of ice chips, even if mundane. He wanted to make small talk with Hoseok, but he didn’t feel sure about where to start or if it was even wanted. Hoseok wasn’t on his phone, however, the way Jimin had been fixated with his and instead he was just sucking slowly on ice chip after ice chip, eyes fixed on some part of the wall ahead of him and his mind obviously afloat with…. Something.

“How’s your ankle doing?” 

Hoseok looked over at Jin and shrugged, giving him half of a smile. “About the same I guess. The tylenol you gave me took some of the edge off.” 

JIn nodded. “Well, that’s good… I wish I knew how long it was going to be. Maybe I should have picked a different hospital.”

Hoseok shrugged. “You didn’t know. It’s really okay.” 

Jin was grateful that Hoseok was such an easy going patient, because some people became very distressed about having to wait for long stretches of time in the waiting room. But there was a peacefulness about Hoseok, or maybe it was just the fact that his mind did seem preoccupied with something else. 

“I feel worse for you, stuck here with me.” Hoseok shrugged. “You should have been off awhile ago.” He glanced down at his watch and frowned.

Jin blinked, staring at Hoseok without words for a moment. Stuck here was hardly the description he would have used, nor did he mind working late to help out one of his patients. More than that, he hadn’t expected Hoseok to be so empathetic but he didn’t want him to feel guilty about it, either. The only thing that he felt a little sorry for himself about was the fact that he had almost half of a banh-mi sandwich in his bag that he couldn’t possibly eat in front of Hoseok. But perhaps later, he reasoned with himself… 

“Believe it or not, I really don’t have anywhere else to be.” Jin smiled.

“What about your wife?” Hoseok asked. 

What was it with these guys thinking he was married? And to a woman? He supposed that it was the most realistic scenario… or the most vanilla one, but even more than that, he realized that Jimin hadn’t said anything about the dating app. At least, not to Hoseok. For that, he was overwhelmingly grateful and he found his lips stretching into a smile, which Hoseok was obviously confused by, his eyes widening slightly and a look of confusion crossing over his face. Jin chuckled softly to himself.

“What is it with you guys thinking I am married? Jimin too.” 

“You/re not?” Hoseok asked. “I just thought you would be.” He shrugged. “I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“I didn’t mean to laugh in a mean way.” Jin spoke softly, still smiling as he looked into Hoseok’s eyes. “It’s flattering, but I guess just surprising. I’ve never been much of a…” His voice trailed off, unsure of how to describe himself to Hoseok, a pop star. He felt all kinds of ordinary in comparison and suddenly a little bit self conscious as well. There were literally millions of girls with pictures of Hoseok plastered in their rooms and Jin felt incredibly average and plain by comparison, it seemed ironic that Hoseok would expect that he was anything but single. “I have horrible luck when it comes to dating.”

“You’re in good company.” Hoseok replied. 

Jin felt his brows raise, genuinely surprised by Hoseok’s admission. It seemed unlikely that someone that looked like him should have any trouble finding a partner but he supposed there was more to it than looks. He’d always wondered though, if he were more handsome, would he have an easier time? Perhaps not, if Hoseok were an example. He felt curious, even if he felt he shouldn’t, but given the fact that they had an indeterminate amount of time to kill, maybe it was better they talk about something rather than nothing. Jin wondered if perhaps he opened up first, Hoseok might feel comfortable enough to follow after. 

“I had my first date in over a year about two weeks ago.” 

Hoseok looked over at Jin, brows raised with curiosity and obviously waiting for him to continue. So, he did. 

“It went really well… until I got the call about Jimin.” 

Hoseok inhaled sharply. “We interrupted your date?” 

“It’s okay.” Jin assured him with a soft smile. “A good guy would have understood -“ 

Jin froze, his blood suddenly feeling ice cold and he stared at Hoseok, wondering what the younger was thinking about the fact that he had just admitted that the person he had been on a date with was in fact a man and not a woman. It wasn’t that he was ashamed of the fact that he was gay, it just wasn’t something that he typically brought up, because in Korean culture, it was still looked down upon by some people. And because a doctor treated such a wide range of people, it was not unlikely that some of those patients may hold an unsavoury opinion about homosexuality. Hoseok didn’t seem like a hateful type of person, but still, Jin wished that he could go back and change what he had said. As the silence hung between them, Hoseok just gazed at him, as though waiting for him to continue. He didn’t seem upset or perturbed by what Jin had said but it didn’t do much to ease his worries. 

“I still feel bad that we - or Jimin. Ruined your date.” Hoseok said, his voice completely calm and seemingly unaffected by Jin’s confession. 

Maybe he hadn’t noticed? 

Hoseok cleared his throat. “Doctor Jin…” 

Or maybe not. 

“I hate to be nosy…” Hoseok swallowed and then looked away, his cheeks turning a darker shade of red and his body squirming enough to make it obvious that he was nervous. 

Interesting. “Were you going to ask me if I’m gay?” 

Hoseok's eyes widened and his mouth fell open a little bit, closed, and then he coughed quietly. “It’s just.. you said guy, instead of girl.” 

“I did.” Jin nodded. “And it’s okay. I just wasn’t expecting to tell you… so I got a little nervous.” He explained, feeling the blood rush to his cheeks, but knowing that honesty was usually the best route when it came to navigating awkward situations. “I hope you won’t think differently of me.” He added more quietly as his eyes fell away from Hoseok’s and landed on the gleamingly clean hospital floor. It was quiet between them for a moment and Jin felt himself bracing more and more for a bad reaction and by the time Hoseok cleared his throat to reply, his lungs were burning a bit from holding his breath. 

“Actually, I’m… kind of glad you told me that.” 

His voice shook a little bit and Jin let go of the breath he was holding and looked back into the younger eyes, seeing his anxieties and nervousness mirrored there. All at once, he understood. He knew why Hoseok seemed nervous himself, he knew why he hadn’t recoiled with disgust or with fear. Jin wanted to hug him, but he remained still, waiting for Hoseok to say it himself.

“I’m gay too.” 

Jin smiled, feeling a connection to Hoseok that he hadn’t expected but was suddenly grateful for. Despite the difference in their ages and their lifestyles, they shared something meaningful with each other. It felt like a long time ago and like yesterday as well, that he had only just come out. He wondered what Hoseok was thinking about and where to steer the conversation.

“At least, in theory I am.” Hoseok laughed quietly and looked at Jin with a smile. 

Jin smiled back, albeit a little confused at what the younger meant. “Huh?

Hoseok’s smile stretched a little wider but the shade of red on his cheeks darkened. “I haven’t exactly had a boyfriend… but I know I like the idea of one.” 

“Ohh…” Jin nodded, blushing for the fact he hadn’t been able to decipher what Hoseok has initially meant, but he understood clearly now. He had felt the same way himself at one point, knowing he wanted to kiss a boy but not knowing what to expect when it actually happened. Even wondering if he could really call himself gay without the practical experience. “I get you. Don’t worry, you have lots of time.” 

“Maybe.” Hoseok said, his smile fading a bit as he sat back in his chair and adjusted himself in a bid to get comfortable.

Jin could sense that there was more on Hoseok’s mind than he was saying, however, he didn’t want to rush him to admit anything he didn’t want to. Though the long stretch of time ahead of them to wait certainly did lend itself to a good opportunity to open up and Jin decided to be patient, hopeful that if Hoseok had already told him this much, he might spill the rest. Again, Jin decided that speaking himself might help Hoseok feel more comfortable, but where to begin? 

“I was in a rush, too.” Jin smiled knowingly. “It takes time to find the right match, though.”

Hoseok nodded and chewed on his lip. “I met someone I like… I just don’t know if they like me back.”

“That can be difficult… is it someone that you know well? Do you know if they happen to also be gay?” Jin asked, unsure if he was being too intrusive with his questions, but feeling as though Hoseok was opening up to him because he was seeking his advice. He watched as the younger shifted again in his seat, blushing a bit as his lips curled into the softest, sweetest smile.

“They… do like guys. I know that much.” Hoseok nodded. “The problem is, he’s one of my closest friends… so if I’m wrong… I risk messing up a lot.”

Jin hummed, considering how best to respond, not wanting to rush as he gave it some consideration. It was difficult when your crush was your friend, because as Hoseok had pointed out, it made the stakes that much higher. On the flip side, if it went positively, the benefit was the time spent forging the friendship would create a strong foundation for a romantic relationship. Jin wondered if this “friend” was perhaps someone in the group, but that felt far too intrusive to ask, but he could appreciate that if that was the case, not only was the friendship at risk but the professional relationship as well. 

“That can be tricky… would you say you’ve seen any… signs that he might have feelings that are more than friendly for you?”

Hoseok’s face shifted as he thought about Jin’s question. His blush deepened a little bit and then his eyes danced with Jin’s for a moment before he cleared his throat. “We’ve… watched certain videos together. If you…” He cleared his throat a second time, making a coughing sound as his cheeks turned an even darker shade of red.

Jin definitely “got it”.

“I get it.” He said quickly, his own blush burning on his cheeks. “That’s... “ He paused, feeling incredibly awkward about talking about adult content in the emergency room, so he decided to tread carefully. “Is that something you do with any of your other friends?”

“No.” Hoseok shook his head. “Only him. Nothing happened though. We just watched the video and then… went our separate ways.” 

Jin ran his fingers through his hair as he glanced away from Hoseok, feeling that awkward, nervous sensation moving over him again. He wanted to help the younger the best he could, but he did feel a little out of place discussing porn with someone ten years younger than him. And in public. Hoseok, on the other hand, seemed to have no shame at all, but fortunately, shifted the tone of the conversation to something a little bit more tame.

“There was this one time as well, that we were um… travelling.” Hoseok paused. “And there was a situation where we needed to share a bed. When I woke up, he was cuddled up to me. I think it was probably accidental, but, still…”

Jin nodded. “It probably felt nice, though.” 

Hoseok blushed and smiled. “It did. And we’ve shared a bed again since then. He says that it’s because his room is so hot… and that the AC is better in mine, but I’m not so sure.”

It was becoming fairly obvious that the friend that Hoseok had a crush on was indeed another member of the group, because he knew that they all lived together in a dorm and of course, travelled together, too. Admittedly, he was a little curious about who it might be, with his suspicion falling first on Jimin, but he couldn’t be absolutely certain unless Hoseok volunteered the information, as he wasn’t about to ask for it. 

“It definitely seems like there might be something there, you know.” 

Jin said quietly, feeling as though the things that Hoseok had told him certainly lined up with the behaviours of someone who had a crush on someone. Jin certainly didn’t watch porn with any of his friends, though he knew that that wasn’t the craziest thing that guys did together, without being attracted to one another. Still, the cuddling up in bed was another clue that seemed a little outside of the ordinary for someone with ‘just friend’ feelings. 

“I just don’t want to be wrong.” Hoseok sighed. “There’s a lot at stake.”

“I know what you mean.” Jin agreed. “It’s a tricky situation… but I think based on what you told me, there’s a chance this person feels the same way that you do. I wish I could tell you a way to read his mind but I’m still working on that one myself.” Jin chuckled. “I’m probably not even the best one to get advice from, in all honesty.”

“I really appreciate it.” Hoseok smiled. “I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this kind of stuff, so…”

Jin felt something inside of him stir. It was incredibly flattering that Hoseok had felt comfortable enough to open up to him, but he felt a pang of sympathy too for the fact that he hadn’t had anyone to talk to about such matters prior to. And he wondered who he would ask the next time, as well.

“You know, you can talk to me about anything like this, any time. Just make an appointment.” 

“Are you a guidance counsellor to or something?” Hoseok chuckled. “I’m kidding.”

“I just meant I want to help, if I can. If you ever have any questions or anything…”

“Thank you, Doctor Jin.” Hoseok smiled. “You really are the best.” 

Jin felt a little taken aback by the praise, he’d never been the best at receiving compliments and he could feel the blush spreading to the very tips of his ears. “Um… thanks, Hoseok.” He mumbled quietly. “I don’t think I am the best by any means, but thank you.”

Hoseok laughed quietly. “You’re too modest.”

“JUNG HOSEOK!”

Both Jin and Hoseok jumped in their seats and looked over in the direction of the female voice that had called his name. A nurse was standing with a clipboard, obviously ready to take Hoseok back to be seen by a doctor. Jin stirred, wondering if he should follow Hoseok or if he would prefer that he waited in the waiting room for him. 

“Did you want me to co-”

“Only the patient.” The nurse said in a terse tone. “We’re taking him for an X-Ray and afterwards, we’ll call you into an examination room to go over the results.” She explained, her voice a little bit more gentle than her initial response had been.

Hoseok didn’t seem too bothered about going in for the procedure by himself, but Jin still felt strangely protective, maybe overprotective, he reasoned, as he watched the nurse push his wheelchair down the hall and out of sight. It was a good hospital and a simple procedure and he was in good hands, but Jin still felt a little bit helpless as he sat alone to wait. If time had been moving slowly before, it had practically stopped as he flipped through one magazine after another, eyes moving over words without really absorbing anything. The waiting room had thinned out a little bit, there were still a few families but most of the small children had been seen and it was considerably quieter than before. After what felt like forever, but was probably closer to twenty minutes, the same nurse popped into the waiting room and told him that she could follow him back.

“It’s not broken.” She told him as she led him down the hallway. “It’s a moderate sprain, and he’ll need to keep off of it. I assume that you’ll be the physician seeing him through his recovery?”

“That’s correct, and what a relief.” Jin felt as though he could breathe again, he had been hopeful that the bone hadn’t been broken but hearing the confirmation was such good knews that he wanted to hug the nurse. 

Instead, he held himself back and followed her quietly into the examination room, sharing a smile with Hoseok who was sitting up on the examination bed, listening to a male doctor explain his recovery process. He would need to keep off of it as much as he could, but he’d be given a pair of crutches to help him get around. Ice would be used to reduce the swelling, and when he was ready to start putting weight on it by the end of a week, he’d need to wrap it for support. Returning to full dance rehearsal was going to be difficult and take some time, and as inconvenient as that would be, Hoseok just seemed grateful for the fact that he’d be able to dance again sooner rather than the much later it would have been if the bone was broken. Jin thought about how the rest of the group would feel relieved by the good news as well, he wondered if perhaps Hoseok had already texted one, or some of them about it. He hoped for Taehyung’s sake, that he had, wanting him to feel less guilty about the accident now that it was established that the injury was minor, far from serious or tour altering. Jin could feel exhaustion slowly creeping in as he listened to the doctor talk for longer than what he felt necessary, but he wasn’t going to try and rush things along either. When his stomach grumbled, he thought longingly of the sandwich tucked into his bag and decided that the first thing he was going to do, after getting home, was finish it. Frowning, he realized that his car was still at the dance studio and he’d need to figure out exactly how he was going to get he and Hoseok home. 

Fortunately, Hoseok had beat him to it, and as soon as the doctor had dismissed them, Hoseok had announced that the groups car was on their way - for both of them. He then explained that he had texted Yoongi already and that the older boy had arranged the ride to be waiting for the message that Hoseok was ready. 

“Yoongi must have been relieved to hear that your ankle wasn’t broken.” Jin volunteered as they stood in one of the lobbies, watching out the glass door for their ride to show up. JIn didn’t know exactly what vehicle he was watching for, so he was more so watching for Hoseok’s reaction to one. 

“He was.” Hoseok answered, paying more attention to his phone. 

“Taehyung will be relieved as well.” Jin said quietly, remembering the way he had put all the blame onto himself. 

“Tae?” Hoseok looked up from his phone, blinking. A small frown on his heart shaped mouth. “Was he upset?” 

Had he not noticed the younger boys reaction? To be fair, he had probably been distracted by his own pain. That was reasonable. 

“He was really upset.” Jin volunteered in a quiet voice. “He said he spilled the water that you slipped in, so it was his fault.” 

Hoseok’s brows knit themselves into a thoughtful crease. “It was an accident.” 

Jin nodded. “He’s sensitive, maybe. But I know he felt really poorly about it.” 

“I’ll text him now.” 

Jin wanted to feel satisfied with the response, but part of him wished that he could tell Taehyung himself, or at least see his reaction, to be sure he understood that it wasn’t his fault and that everything would be okay. Before Jin could think about it too long, a large black SUV pulled up in front of the doors and Hoseok nudged Jin’s arm. 

“This is us.” 

With Hoseok on crutches, Jin helped him into the SUV, where he insisted he take the back so that Jin could have the front. Jin thought sitting together would have been less awkward, but the main thing on his mind as he got into the passenger seat was how good his sandwich was going to taste once he got home. 

“To the dorms, Mr. Jung?” The driver asked, looking back towards Hoseok expectantly. 

“No.” Hoseok shook his head. “Him first. To the studio, please.” After a brief pause. “Your car is there, right?” 

“That’s right.” Jin nodded, a little surprised that Hoseok had insisted that he was taken care of first. And truthfully, grateful, as his stomach grumbled again and he hoped that no one else had heard it. “Thank you.” He added, quietly. 

The drive over to the studio was short, but silent. Not quite awkward, but a little less comfortable than he’d felt when it was just he and Hoseok. As the SUV pulled in near the back door where Jin had parked, he unbuckled his seatbelt and adjusted himself in his seat so that he could meet Hoseok’s eyes in the dim light of the vehicle. 

“If you need more pain killers, please call the emergency line. Okay?” 

Hoseok nodded. “I should be okay. I’ll try and let you get some rest.” 

Jin smiled, he really was looking forward to sliding between the crisp sheets on his bed and closing his eyes, but, he’d never refuse any of his patients who needed him. 

“Okay, Hoseok, but just call me if you need anything tonight - or otherwise. It’s what I’m here for.” It was honest, it was the truth. Jin loved his career and he wouldn’t change a thing, not the long days, the late nights, or the constantly unexpected. 

“Thank you, Doctor Jin. For everything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who would you like to see in the examination room next?


	19. Office Hours - Eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter Jin has a tough conversation with Doctor Wang as well as a somewhat heavy appointment with Choi Soobin, cousin of his best friend, YoungJae. Also in this chapter, Min Yoongi has scheduled a last minute appointment and requested Jin. Please see authors notes for more details about this chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for taking a look here! I want to say that this chapter got a little heavier than I expected it to. If mentions of what Doctor Wang has done/might be doing makes you uncomfortable, I do apologise and want to let you know that none of this will be detailed too greatly - because it's not my avenue either, it's just something that has worked itself into the story line. I just want to make sure y'all know I am aware that this content may be a little uncomfortable or unsettling to read and I am doing my best to handle it as delicately and as gently as I can to keep this to a minimal! It is all going to work out in the end ~ Thank you, for all of the continued support, I really appreciate every comment, kudos, bookmark and subscription and I am having so much fun with this story. We have a long ways to go yet.

The Following Week

Jin could hardly believe that his chopsticks had made it to the bottom of his bowl of ramen without his cell phone ringing. He had eaten his lunch the day before at the office, because he had been so busy and so Jin had decided to treat himself to the new restaurant that had opened - and because any excuse was as good as any other for a big bowl of ramen. Between bites, he kept glancing at his phone, expecting it to ring. Lunch time disruptions from the clinic had become all too common and a lunch without being interrupted was indeed a rare treat. It was Wednesday, and despite only being three days into the week, it had felt long, with many appointments crammed into the few days because of a flu bug going around. He had seen many patients with the same symptoms and it had felt a little tiring if he was going to be honest. Jin plucked the last piece of chicken from the bowl and popped it into his mouth, chewing with a satisfied smile as he thought about his afternoon ahead of him. From what he had read on his schedule, he had three appointments spread over the final four hours of his day but with the way things were going, he almost expected another to be added.

Back at the clinic, Jin gave Katy a small wave as he stepped into the waiting room and immediately he noticed the hopeful look in her eyes. His earlier intuition about an additional appointment had perhaps been correct, but he approached the desk with a smile, despite the fact that he had been hoping to get home on time and start the new season of one of his favourite dramas.

“Doctor Kim….” Katy smiled as she reached for a folder on her desk. “I was wondering if I could ask you something?”

“Sure, anything, Katy.” Jin leaned against the counter and waited for what he was sure was coming.

“Well, we had a patient request an appointment with you this afternoon… but he wouldn’t tell me what he was coming in for.” Katy’s smile faded into a worried expression and Jin felt his own brows knit together in confusion.

“They requested me? Who was it?” 

“It was Min Yoongi. Have you seen him before?” 

Jin shook his head. “No, not exactly. I’ve met him, however.” 

“That explains it.” Katy licked her lips. “Anyways, Doctor Wang offered to take one of your patients if you didn’t want to extend your day.”

Jin felt a knotting in his stomach, he knew that logically he had no reason to worry about the older doctor seeing one of his patients, however, he knew that one of the patients he was seeing was Soobin, and he couldn’t help but feel a little protective of his best friends cousin. He also felt a little awkward about it, but, because the appointment was for what appeared to be another case of the flu, he had less to worry about than with some of his other… more sensitive appointments. Perhaps like the type of appointment that Yoongi had been too afraid to describe to Katy over the phone.

“I don’t mind extending my day, if Yoongi doesn’t mind coming in at... “ Jin paused, calculating when he would definitely have time to see him, without the worry of rushing any of his other appointments. “How about 4:15?”

“I’m sure he will be pleased with that.” Katy responded with a smile. “You’re always so helpful, thank you, Doctor Kim. I’ll call him back right away and let him know.”

“Okay, let me know if he wants to reschedule. Thanks Katy.” 

Jin wandered his way down the hall towards his room, hanging his coat up and trading it for his doctors jacket. Glancing at the bowl of candy bars on the counter, he noticed that it could use a refill and opened his cupboard to retrieve the bag when the sound of a knock on the door caused him to jump. Initially, Jin had expected that it would be Katy, perhaps telling him that Yoongi wasn’t able to make the afternoon appointment, and so he called out a response from behind the door.

“Come in!”

To his surprise, when he turned around, it was Doctor Wang who was standing in the room and quickly, Jin closed the cupboard door, hiding the bag of candy bars, despite the fact that the bowl sat in plain sight. 

“Good afternoon.” Doctor Wang smiled as he closed the door behind him.

“Good afternoon, Doctor Wang. How are you?” Jin responded, feeling a little bit on edge in the older man's presence, the way he always did. He took a deep breath and tried to steady his nerves as he leaned against his examination table and wondered what the purpose of the visit was. Hoping that if anything, it would be brief.

“I’m fine, thank you, Doctor Kim.” Doctor Wang responded and then paused for a moment before continuing. “May I talk to you for a moment?” 

His tone wasn’t exactly light, though it wasn’t grave, but it was enough to cause Jin’s heartbeat to increase, his stomach knotting up a little bit as his tongue moved over his lips, suddenly dry. He cleared his throat a little bit and hoped that he wouldn’t sound as nervous and as pathetic as he felt, but knew as soon as he heard his stuttering voice that the hope was entirely fruitless.

“S-sure. What’s on your mind?”

“Well, I was just reviewing your notes from the following weeks.” Doctor Wang explained, sliding his hands into his pockets. “And, just to confirm, you did see Kim Taehyung recently, correct?”

Immediately, Jin’s mind reeled back to the appointment, and all of it’s awkwardness. He felt his stomach tighten further, knowing that he had recorded what exactly had happened at the appointment and all at once, worries began to flood in about what he had performed on the younger boy. Had there been a complaint? Jin thought about how Taehyung had been upset at the dance studio but had felt comfortable enough to open up to him about his worries, so it seemed unlikely that Taehyung had felt uncomfortable about the appointment and complained. So it was probably something else. Jin swallowed around the lump in his throat and when he spoke, it felt a little bit about jumping off of the edge of a dock, knowing that you were about to hit cold water.

“That’s correct.”

The other man hummed quietly, his eyes moving away from Jin’s, as though he were a little uncomfortable himself. The very notion only made Jin worry more deeply, unsure of what he was about to hear next willing himself to continue to take deep breaths, because running out of the room was hardly an option.

“And you performed… an enema? Can you tell me a little bit more about why you did that?”

“I…” Jin’s mouth felt as though he’d swallowed sawdust, dry and chalky. “He was constipated, it was actually at his request. I had suggested laxatives… but... “ Jin’s voice trailed off and when the other man didn’t respond immediately, his anxiety rose. “Was I not supposed to do that? We had the equipment.” Jin could feel his words tumbling out a lot more quickly than he’d like, knowing his tone must sound anything but calm at this point, but with his heart feeling as though he’d just taken a hill on a roller coaster, it was all he could do to keep from crumbling all together. 

In his time at the clinic, he thought he’d been doing well, he’d received a lot of praise and now, it was as though he’d been slapped in the face. He hadn’t exactly gotten in trouble, but there was something about Doctor Wang that was making him feel as though he was about to. Admittedly, being criticized was not something that Seokjin had ever really learned to handle gracefully. It wasn’t that he was full of himself and unable to handle the criticism - quite the opposite, it was the fact that the words would sit with him for days, wearing on him like a bruise long after the conversation had passed. 

“Relax, Seokjin.” Doctor Wang said quietly. “I’m not here to get you in trouble. It is not a matter of the procedure being prohibited, I just need to remind you that there are certain procedures that are performed in the procedure room, at the end of the hall.”

Jin felt himself tense a little bit as his mind reeled back to the contract he had signed, and he recalled as he had gone through the many pages, reading about this procedure room. There had been a list of procedures that were to be conducted there, probably because it was larger and had more resources, Jin had assumed, but more forefront on his mind was the fact that he was ashamed of himself for making a careless mistake. He hadn’t signed the contract that long ago, he mentally scolded himself, it should have been more prevalent in his mind.

“I’m so sorry, Doctor Wang. It must have slipped my mind when it happened, as I was a little caught off guard by the request at all.”

“Understandably so.” The older man responded quietly. “Don’t fret over it, Doctor Kim. Just remember for next time, okay?”

Jin nodded, a lump in his throat that made him feel uneasy about responding without the risk of a stutter in his voice. His emotions were all over the place, a mixture of relief, anxiety and embarrassment that cocktailed to something rather unpleasant. He could feel a fresh layer of sweat under his arms and building on his brow, he hated that he sweated when he was anxious and hated even more that he had put himself in this predicament in the first place.

“One last thing before I go, Doctor Kim.” Doctor Wang’s face shifted into a kind smile and Jin did his best to return the gesture, still feeling a little bit flustered. “I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate you picking up the extra appointments, I know we have been busy lately and you have been a valuable asset to the clinic.”

Jin blinked for a moment, feeling a blush rising over his cheeks. The praise was a kind gesture, but with the way he was already feeling, it only made him feel increasingly awkward.

“Th-thank you. It’s no trouble, and I enjoy working here.”

“I’m glad to hear that, Seokjin. Enjoy the rest of your afternoon.” The older man excused himself and then turned towards the door, pulling it open before stepping out and leaving Jin by himself.

Glancing at his watch, he calculated that he only had about ten minutes before his first appointment of the afternoon and he would need to do his best to compose himself in time. Walking over to where he had hung his bag on the coat rack, he pulled out his bottle of water and took a long drink, feeling himself relax a little bit by the time he was twisting the cap back closed. He still felt poorly about making the mistake, but at least it also seemed as though Doctor Wang wasn’t holding a grudge over it, and had even tried to lift his spirits before leaving the room. He made a mental note to pull out the contract that evening before he left so that he could see exactly what that list composed of - and if there was anything else he was forgetting.

Soobin was his last appointment before Yoongi and he was grateful that he was still running on time, so there would be no need to rush the appointment - even if he expected it to be fairly straight forward. 

In the waiting room, a slight boy with long legs dressed in loose grey sweatpants and a black sweater with its hood up. When Jin stepped into the room, dark eyes looked up and Jin recognized him as Youngjae’s cousin, who he had met one time before but would hardly say he could remember much about besides an awkward handshake and a handful of pimples on his young face. When Soobin stood up, Jin was surprised to find that he actually stood taller than himself and he resisted the urge to comment on his height, positive that he’d heard it before. Probably, often.

“Soobin?” Jin said quietly. “Ready to come back?”

“S-sure.” His voice was softer than he expected, and a faint pink colour shaded his cheeks as he began to follow Jin towards the room.

Jin wondered if he was shy or maybe he just wasn’t feeling well, and waited until after he’d let him into his private room and closed the door to ask him how he was doing.

“I’m okay.” Soobin responded. “You’re Youngjae’s friend, right?” His eyes moved up and down Jin’s frame.

“I am.” Jin smiled. “My name is Seokjin. Kim Seokjin. We met once, a few years ago.”

“I can’t say I remember.” Soobin said softly with a touch of regret in his voice, maybe, Jin thought. “I’m glad you’re working here now.” He added.

“I’ve been enjoying it.” Jin responded, walking over to his sink and washing his hands. “You can pop up on the table, if you want.”

“Yeonjun said you were a lot nicer than Dr. Wang.” Soobin said as he pulled himself up onto the table, the paper that covered it, crinkling beneath each of his movements as he got himself comfortable, his long legs dangling over the side.

“Did he?” Jin felt himself blushing as he finished washing his hands and reached for a pair of gloves. “That’s sweet of him.” 

Soobin was quiet after that, watching intently as Jin pulled open a drawer and retrieved a light to check his throat as well as a plastic wrapped disposable thermometer. Jin set the items on a small tray and then added a tongue depressor to the mix, deciding that he had everything he needed fairly quickly as he had arranged the same items so many times over the past few days.

“So, you’re not feeling well?” Jin asked, turning around and holding the tray, setting it down on a smaller table closer to the table. “There’s a bug going around.”

Soobin’s eyes wandered to the tray and there was a pause before he looked back to Jin, licking his lips. “I threw up this morning, but I was able to keep some oatmeal down.”

“That’s good, and you’ve been drinking lots, I hope?”

“Trying to…” Soobin nodded.

“It’s important to keep yourself well hydrated, you might consider picking up a sports drink to restore your electrolytes that you may have lost when you threw up… or, if you’ve been having diarrhea.”

“Not yet.” Soobin blushed.

Jin smiled knowingly, sensing the younger boys embarrassment. He was relieved that he seemed at least a little less tense than he had when they had first met each other in the waiting room. He had initially hoped that their connection through YoungJae would be a blessing, however, Jin could empathize with why it could be the opposite as well. 

“So, what have your symptoms been?”

“Sore throat, mostly. And I threw up yesterday a few times.” Soobin paused. “And again this morning, like I said.” 

“Do you mind if I check your throat?” Jin asked, picking up his examination light from the tray and turning it on with the button on the end. 

“Sure.” Soobin agreed, straightening his shoulders and parting his lips expectantly (albeit barely) as Jin stepped closer. 

“Wider?” Jin asked gently, barely able to see into the younger boys mouth. 

Up close, Jin took a second as his eyes moved over Soobin’s features. Besides the obvious height difference, he didn’t look exceptionally like his cousin, though he could see some vague similarities in the shape of his lips and the straightness of his nose. Jin had always felt envious of his friends well defined features and lips that were much more delicate than his own pillowy ones. 

Soobin opened his mouth wider, complete with the small groan of an “ahh” and Jin shone his light inside, immediately recognizing a similar amount of swelling to the other patients he’d been seeing. Jin looked around for a moment or two longer and then drew back with a hum.

“Definitely irritated.” Jin glanced over his face, noticing he looked a little flush and instinctively, pressed his palm against his forehead.

Soobin jumped just a little bit and Jin drew his hand back, feeling his heart racing as he realized that he hadn’t told Soobin anything before slapping his hand on his forehead, he had just suspected a fever and maybe, felt a little more comfortable in the fact that it was his best friend's cousin.

“I’m so sorry. I should have said something.” JIn frowned, taking a step backwards.

“No.” Soobin shook his head and then gave Jin a soft smile. Ah, that looked a little bit like his friend's familiar gesture. “It’s really okay, I was just surprised, that’s all.”

“You feel warm, do you mind if I check your temperature?”

Soobin took a breath, loud enough for Jin to hear and there was a pause that felt longer than it should. Jin looked over at his face, noticing that a worried expression had clouded his brown eyes. What was on his mind? Jin wondered. 

“Um…” Soobin chewed on his lower lip as his cheeks stained themselves a deeper shade of red. “In which way?”

Jin furrowed his brows, confused because this wasn’t the first patient that had expressed hesitation about having their temperature checked. 

“Orally?” Jin replied in a cautious tone, wanting to look into Soobin’s eyes but finding the younger boy was staring at his hands. 

“Oh.” Soobin sighed and finally looked up. “Thank god.” He added more quietly and focused his attention back onto his hands. 

“I’m a little confused…” Jin volunteered, unsure of exactly where the sentence was headed and his voice faded away, hoping that Soobin would put the pieces together and help him out. 

“It’s just…” 

Soobin’s voice was barely above a whisper and so Jin stepped a little closer, hoping that he would be able to catch the rest of the words more easily - if they came. Soobin looked only increasingly nervous and Jin felt guilty about pressing him for the information. 

“Doctor Wang does it differently.” 

Soobin finally spoke and Jin felt as though his stomach was falling through himself to his feet. Jin’s mind reeled to Kai’s appointment, where the younger boy had mentioned that Soobin has seen Doctor Wang for his entrance physical, including the rectal exam. The conversation with YoungJae. Now, Soobin was in front of him and all but terrified over the notion of such a simple procedure as checking a temperature. Though there were a lot of ways to perform the procedure, Jin’s intuition told him what he needed to know. The multiple boxes of disposable rectal thermometers in the stock room that outnumbered the oral ones. The nervousness and the apprehension of so many patients. 

Jin felt nauseous, upset, a little horrified to know that Soobin — and probably many more, had been subject to an unnecessarily awkward procedure — and what else? Jin knew they’d have to set the thoughts aside if he was going to be able to proceed with Soobin, and Yoongi, afterwards. 

“In my office, we do it orally.” Jin said quietly, pausing briefly before he continued. “And in my office, you never have to do anything you don’t feel comfortable with. Okay?” 

“Okay.” Soobin replied softly. 

“Listen, I’m certain you have a low grade fever and I’m ready to write you the same prescription I’ve been writing, so, I don’t even have to check.”

Though a little long winded in his explanation, Jin felt relieved when he noticed Soobin’s mouth twitching towards the shape of a smile. His shoulders had relaxed and he unfolded his hands, sliding them under his thighs instead. 

“It’s okay. You can check. I’m not scared of you.” 

Soobin smiled a little more broadly and Jin felt his heartbeat increasing. He returned the smile for a second but turned away, hoping that he was quick enough to hide the blush that was rising on his cheeks and spreading down his neck. His hands trembled slightly as he unwrapped the thermometer and shook it as he knew to. When he turned back, Soobin was waiting patiently, calmly. 

“It’ll just take a second. Open wide.” Jin said quietly as he stepped up to the examination table. 

Soobin’s lips parted expectantly and his eyelids closed. Jin moved closer for just a second to pop the thermometer into his mouth and then drew back, finding Soobin watching him as the thermometer stuck out of his mouth. Jin gave him a slight smile and then turned away, scribbling down the prescription on his pad and setting the torn off page down on the counter to give to Soobin when he was finished. By the time he was finished, the thermometer was ready and Jin sauntered back over to Soobin, reaching for the instrument and pulling it gently from his mouth. Glancing down at it, Soobin’s fever was a few degrees above regular but certainly not anything dangerous.

“Nothing too serious, Soobin, but you should take a tylenol to help break the fever. Do you have some?” Jin asked, knowing that he had a bottle.

“Maybe?” Soobin offered. “If I have to go get the other prescription, I can pick up tylenol.”

“I’ll just give you one to take now.” 

Jin turned back to his cabinet, pulling down the bottle of Tylenol Extra Strength and retrieving one before pouring Soobin a drink of water in a paper cup. He walked back over to Soobin and handed him both the pill and the cup and watched as he swallowed the pill and chased it with a long drink, finishing the contents of the cup before holding it out to Jin.   
“That should help.” Jin said, throwing away the cup and picking up the prescription note that he had written, carrying it back over to the younger boy and passing it to him, watching as he took it from him and then carefully tucked it into the folds of his wallet.

“Were there any other symptoms that you wanted me to check out?” Jin asked, glancing back to Soobin and closing the space between them, walking towards the table again. 

“No, it’s just the sore throat and my stomach that has been bothering me, mostly.” Soobin nodded. “Thank you.”

Jin smiled. “You’re welcome, Soobin. One last thing.” He paused and then turned back towards the counter, eyeing the bowl of chocolate bars that while needed a refill, still had plenty enough good choices. Picking it up, he carried it back over to Soobin and held it out. “Take two, since you’re Youngjae’s cousin.” He grinned.

“Thanks, I’ll give one to my boy-....” His voice trailed off and his cheeks turned a dark shade of red. “My friend.”

Jin thought of his appointment with Yeonjun, where he had remembered him mention that his boyfriends name was Soobin, when he had compared his body and the way it’s reaction - or lack there to, differed from his partners. 

“Yeonjun?” Jin said softly. “I’ve met him.”

“Oh, right.” Soobin smiled, still blushing. “I guess you did. He loves kit-kats.” He selected two kit-kat bars from the bowl and slipped them into the pocket on his sweatpants. 

The room was quiet as Soobin slipped down from the table and adjusted his hoodie a little bit. Jin was about to clear his throat and tell him to have a good rest of the afternoon and get some rest when Soobin broke the silence.

“Oh, Doctor Seokjin?” 

Jin blinked once and then smiled, a little curious about what Soobin might ask but not sensing anything too heavy.

“Were you going to be at YoungJae’s birthday dinner this weekend?”

Of course, Jin knew that he still had to pick up his best friend's gift, but he hadn’t quite registered that he might see Soobin at the dinner as well. It wasn’t too surprising, because it was being held at YoungJae’s parents house, where Jin had attended several dinners and events previously.

“I am.” Jin nodded. “I’ll see you there?”

“See you there.” Soobin gave Jin one last little wave and then moved towards the door, pulling it open and letting himself out.

Alone in the room, Jin’s mind was already beginning to reel with so many thoughts at once. As hard as he had tried to push down the thoughts of Doctor Wang and the thermometer comment, it was hard to shake the idea that one of his colleagues could be acting unprofessionally just down the hall in a way that made patients uncomfortable, could potentially really traumatize them, even. Glancing at his watch, he jumped a little, reading that the time was twelve minutes after four and Yoongi’s appointment was in three minutes.

In a hurry, he whisked the paper off of the table and replaced it with a fresh sheet and then gathered up his clipboard with Yoongi’s record on it, heading out to the waiting room. As expected, Yoongi was sitting in one of the chairs, his dark grey hair hanging over his face as he glanced down at his phone and had earbuds in his ears, his head bobbing slowly to music that Jin couldn’t hear.

“Min Yoongi?”

No response. A little louder.

“Min Yoongi?” 

No response.

Taking a deep breath and wondering how best to get Yoongi’s attraction without startling him too terribly, Jin wandered slowly towards the boy and when he was a few feet away, the younger looked up and reached for his earbuds, pulling them out and giving Jin a shy smile.

“Sorry.” He said softly. “Favourite song.”

“No worries, Yoongi. Did you want to come back?”

“Sure.” 

Yoongi replied in a cool tone, seeming totally calm and Jin couldn’t help but wonder what it was that he hadn’t wanted to tell Katy as he led him back towards his room, feeling more protective than ever of Yoongi and all of his patients as he passed Doctor Wang’s room and took a quick glance through the window, relieved to find it empty. He had so many questions but in so many ways, he was afraid of the answers.


	20. Office Hours - Nineteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that this took as long as it did to update. With everything going on with the COVID-19 pandemic, I lost my job. I initially thought 'oh boy, writing time' ! but I had some pretty brutal writers block. Hopefully now that I have broken the ice, per se, I can continue to write and have lots of updates to come over the following weeks. 
> 
> I will also say that this chapter gave me a lot of trouble plot wise, as I changed my mind about what should happen no less than three times. I finally settled on this, but expect more Yoongi to come in the future ~

Yoongi remained quiet as he trailed behind Jin, the sound of their footsteps the only thing audible. Jin still felt curious about what might have kept Yoongi from disclosing the intent of his appointment from Katy and wondered how forthcoming the younger would be once they were alone together within the examination room. When they reached the room, Jin opened the door and Yoongi slipped by him and headed straight towards the examination bed, pulling himself up and making himself comfortable. Jin closed the door and sauntered towards his desk, picking up Yoongi’s file and glancing at it briefly, as if to see a hint about the intent of the appointment, but as he knew, there was nothing there. Glancing up from the papers, he gave Yoongi a shy smile, feeling not quite nervous, but a little hesitant, to be sure.

“How are you doing, Yoongi?” 

Yoongi cleared his throat and pushed his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. “I’m fine.” His tone was rather nonchalant, and nothing about his response told Jin about why he was there. 

Jin chewed on his lip, unsure of how exactly to proceed. If he should come straight out and ask the younger about why he was there, or try to keep it a little more casual to invite Yoongi to tell him for himself. His eyes swam over his relaxed shoulders, his legs dangling comfortably without a tremble over the edge of the bed. He didn’t seem particularly tense or nervous, Jin decided, but it was hard to tell much more than that. 

“Were you not feeling well, Yoongi?” Jin asked in a careful tone, stepping a little closer to the bed as he met his dark gaze. “Katy didn’t mention a reason for the appointment.”

Yoongi shifted his weight, eyes falling away from Jin’s and to the floor. Perhaps a bit of redness on his cheeks, but it was hard to tell, his skin was a little more pale than most of the patients that he saw. 

“I… feel okay.” Yoongi said quietly. “It’s…” His voice faded away.

Jin felt his uneasiness growing by the second, Yoongi was clearly embarrassed, but beyond that, he was still a long way from knowing what was wrong, and thus, from being able to help him. It was beginning to be apparent that the matter was a sensitive one, but there were still so many directions that could be taken in. 

“You don’t have to be embarrassed.” Jin said quietly, wanting to sound patient, despite the fact that his back was getting sore from standing for so long and that he could feel a headache coming on as well. “I can guarantee, whatever you tell me, I’ve heard worse.”

“It’s just…” Yoongi tried again, eyes shifting in a few directions as he seemingly fought with his own resolve to let go of whatever was bothering him, but there was something holding him back.

Jin had already gathered that Yoongi was maybe a little rougher around the edges than some of the other members. It wasn’t that Jin thought badly of him or held a grudge against him for the way he had treated Taehyung when Hoseok had gotten hurt, but it had definitely exposed him to a side of him that he probably wouldn’t see at a typical appointment. He hadn’t expected Yoongi to be anything but polite and respectful to him, but he had also wondered if he would be as open and forthcoming as someone like Jimin. 

“I don’t know exactly how to… put it into words. What the right… term…” 

Jin felt a tug at his heart, Yoongi was trying so hard to be open, but it was clearly a sensitive subject. He wanted to assure the younger boy that he had no reason to feel shame around him, that as a professional, he was only trying to help, but Jin had a feeling that being too wordy wouldn’t help someone like Yoongi. 

“Just try. Tell me what’s happening.” Jin offered, his voice soft, keeping his eyes on Yoongi’s face but not directly in his eyes. 

Yoongi sighed, his little pink tongue washed over his lips and he shifted on the bed again. His lips parted and then closed again, but Jin felt as though he was getting closer. He cleared his throat.

“Okay.” He breathed in again. “It’s… what’s not happening.”

Immediately, Jin remembered his appointment with Yeonjun, who had told him that he had a hard time getting an erection. Perhaps it was exactly the same, and no doubt, the amount of stress that came with preparing for a tour would be enough to have certain side effects. Jin wondered if he should ask for more information, or just assume that it was erectile dysfunction.

“Yoongi, are you referring to....” Jin paused, his mouth suddenly feeling dry as his cheeks burned. It was so easy to rehearse in his head, he thought to himself, but when it came to actually putting a voice behind the words, he felt a lot more awkward than he could hope. He hadn’t felt quite this uncomfortable with Yeonjun, and he couldn’t pinpoint what it was about Yoongi that left him a little bit on edge. As much as he wanted to be casual with someone who was less than ten years younger than him, he needed to be professional. “Erectile dysfunction?” 

His eyes widened and Jin felt a knot form immediately in his stomach. 

“I_ don’t_ need viagra.” Yoongi sputtered.

Jin wanted to bury his face in his hands, feeling his heartbeat quicken as he took a deep breath, willing himself to remain calm and in control of the conversation. 

“Okay. I’m sorry, Yoongi, but, I can only go on what you tell me… so… tell me more.” 

“Maybe this was a stupid idea.” Yoongi mumbled.

Jin’s anxiety turned to remorse and he felt just as much at a loss about what to say or how to react. He hadn’t yet had an appointment where he hadn’t been able to make a connection with his patient and help them, and the last thing he wanted to have happen was Yoongi leave without telling him what was wrong. 

“Please, Yoongi.” Jin said softly. “You don’t need to be embarrassed or ashamed of whatever it is that’s happening. But I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s going on.”

Yoongi sighed, closing his eyes. “Or I could just go.” 

He wasn’t going to say it, but Jin was annoyed. He had been seeing so many patients over the past few days and he had intentionally made his day longer to see Yoongi. And now Yoongi was going to leave without having anything even been accomplished. It didn’t appear the matter was anything life threatening, but something personal, perhaps sexual, and even though it was awkward, Jin wanted to help in any way he could. If he could. He still had no idea what Yoongi wasn’t telling him. 

One thing he was certain about, was the fact that if he responded to Yoongi’s animosity with any tension of his own, it would be like fighting fire with fire. Besides, it wasn’t in Jin’s nature to be so unkind, but, the headache lingering in the back of his neck was a reminder that he would like his day to be over sooner rather than later, without compromising on what he needed to do. Help Yoongi.

“You can go, if you want.” Jin assured him. “But then I can’t help you.”

Yoongi rolled his eyes and Jin felt the pain in the back of his skull intensify, and could feel a heat flowing over him as his muscles tightened. He pulled a deep breath in and let his eyes sweep over the younger boy for a moment, just studying, hopeful that he could get a read on him but again, finding it nearly impossible. His features were drawn, lips set in a tight line and hands shoved into his sweater pockets. 

“It’s dumb.”

“It can’t be dumb if you’re this worked up over it.” Jin retorted, almost immediately regretting the words as he watched Yoongi’s face shift from blank to shock, eyes widened and mouth agape.

“I-” He blinked. “Okay.” 

Okay? Jin could feel his heart pounding hard in his chest as he waited for Yoongi to explode. His fingers trembled as he raked them through his hair, feeling the younger boys eyes following the movement, watching him. Waiting for him to respond, to say anything, but Jin was nervous again.

“Sorry.” Jin said quietly. “That came out wrong.”

“It’s okay.” Yoongi said, his tone equally soft and his hands now out of his pockets, resting on the table beside him. “I deserved it.” 

He gave Jin the tiniest of smiles and there was the confusion again. Yoongi seemingly had the ability to shift from one mood to another so quickly, so seamlessly. Something he’d have to remember. Was he actually owning up to the fact that he was acting like an idiot? 

“It’s been a long day.” Jin said quietly. “I reacted too quickly. Maybe we can start over?”

Yoongi nodded and then stuck out his hand. “Min Yoongi.”

Jin blinked for a moment. Yoongi wiggled his fingers a little bit and looked towards Jin’s hand. Finally, the doctor figured it out.

“Doctor Kim Seokjin” Jin smiled awkwardly, cheeks a glow, as his fingers closed around Yoongi’s slightly smaller ones and he felt a firm squeeze. “Doctor Jin, if you rather.” 

“Nice to meet you.” Yoongi smiled and released Jin’s hand, seeming much more relaxed than he had just minutes before and Jin was hopeful that perhaps, they could finally get somewhere.

“Nice to meet you too, Yoongi. What brings you in today?” Jin asked, stepping closer to Yoongi and giving him a playful wink, hopeful that a lighter approach might make it more easy for Yoongi to be forthcoming with him.

“I guess I’m just going to go ahead and say it.”

Yes. Finally. Jin thought to himself, but just smiled politely as Yoongi fidgeted with a loose thread on his pants. 

“So. I have never had an issue… reaching climax before. But. I recently started hooking up with someone new… and it’s just not happening.” 

Jin exhaled, letting go of the breath he hadn’t even realized that he had been holding. So that was what he had been trying to tell him. It was a little sensitive, sure, but to Jin, it was far from the nightmare that Yoongi had been so nervous to reveal. Of course, Jin understood as well that for him, talking about genitalia was as ordinary as any other body part. And with his upcoming sexual health seminar to boot, it was actually a benefit for him to get used to having rather uncomfortable conversations. To get comfortable with being uncomfortable, one of his professors had always said. Unfortunately for Yoongi, it was only going to get a little more uncomfortable before it could get better, because Jin needed to know a little bit more to better explain the situation. 

“Do you need to… examine me?” 

Yoongi’s voice was quiet, this time holding a different emotion behind the words that wasn’t embarrassment. It was fear. 

“No.” Jin shook his head and gave the younger a sympathetic smile. “There’s no need for an exam.”

Yoongi sighed heavily, his shoulders sagging. “Thank fu- ... “ He paused and gave Jin a sheepish smile. “Thank goodness.” He mumbled.

Jin laughed quietly. “For the record, I don’t care if you swear. But don’t repeat that.” 

Yoongi smiled, a genuine smile that showed his gums and Jin felt a warmth spreading over him, feeling as though he was finally making perhaps even more progress than he could have expected. 

“I do want to ask you a couple of questions - only so I can explain to you more clearly what I think is happening. If you don’t want to answer something, you don’t have to. Deal?” Jin explained, holding Yoongi’s gaze from a few feet away where he was leaning on his hip against the side of the examination bed.

“Deal.” Yoongi agreed with a nod.

“Alright.” Jin drew a breath. Things were about to get a little more awkward, and he hoped that he could tread carefully enough as not to disturb the smidge of trust that he had perhaps established with Yoongi. “So, you said that you usually don’t have an issue reaching climax. Is this typically…you know.” Jin could feel the blush rising on his cheeks. This was a little more difficult than he had given it credit for in his head, what with Yoongi’s eyes watching his every move and his ears hanging on his every word. “By yourself?”

“Yeah.” Yoongi said quietly, calmly. 

“And in the past… have you ever been with someone who has been able to help you reach climax?” 

Yoongi blinked for a moment or two. “Yeah. I’ve only had one boyfriend… but…” Yoongi paused, chewing on his lower lip a little bit. “But yeah, they were able to.”

“Do you remember if they were able to the first time?” Jin inhaled, hopeful that he would be able to explain to Yoongi that sometimes, it just took time for new lovers to learn the bodies of each other, for them to learn the way to help the other reach climax. It wasn’t exactly the same for every person, after all, and everyone had their own way of doing things. 

“It was a long time ago… but… maybe not.” Yoongi paused.  
  
Jin could see that Yoongi was already thinking about the direction that the questions were taking them. He was perhaps putting the pieces together himself, but Jin decided that he would probably be able to begin to explain. It wasn’t abnormal for couples in a new relationship to not be able to help the other achieve orgasm the first, third or even tenth time they try. It’s never as straightforward as porn made it look, Jin thought to himself, back to his own struggles and awkward moments and he could appreciate how embarrassing it would have been for Yoongi to bring himself in and ask Jin about such a thing. 

“So… what I’m trying to get at, is that sometimes it just takes practice.” Jin explained, keeping the pace of his words even, not wanting to rush, but not wanting to sound like he was trying to make Yoongi feel young or dumb. That was the last thing he wanted to do. ‘You’ve had time to… perfect the science, if you may, when you take care of things on your own. It might just be a matter of helping your partner learn what works for you. You know?” 

Jin was sure that the blush had spread from his cheeks to the tips of his ears, but he was relieved to see that Yoongi looked fairly calm, seemingly rolling some thoughts around his head. 

“So.” Yoongi began, his voice calm but the corner of his lips twitching. “What you’re saying is...just have more sex?”

Jin blinked. “W-well.”

“Sorry.” Yoongi admitted, laughing quietly. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you.” 

Jin gave Yoongi an awkward smile, his heart still pounding and his body feeling warm all over from both the blush and the way Yoongi’s statement had caught him off guard. 

“Well, you’re not wrong. It’s basically what I said.” Jin did his best to laugh, sure that he sounded a little bit awkward but thankful nonetheless when Yoongi laughed quietly with him. After a moment or two, Jin cleared his throat. “There weren’t any other concerns, were there, Yoongi?”

Truthfully, he was hopeful that the appointment could wrap up and he could be on his way home. Grabbing some sort of take out dinner was beginning to sound a lot more appealing than cooking, considering his stomach was rumbling something fierce and by the time he was home, it would be well past six. 

“No, doctor.” Yoongi shook his head. “I am relieved that it’s not anything serious.”

“I don’t doubt that.” Jin gave him a gentle smile. “Any time you have a concern, always book an appointment.”

Yoongi nodded. “I appreciate you making time to see me. And… I apologize for acting how I did.” He added more quietly. “I was… nervous.”

“Hey, it’s okay.” Jin reached out and brushed his hand over the upper part of Yoongi’s arm, very briefly before pulling back. “No hard feelings. One last thing before you go.”

Turning towards his desk, Jin picked up the bowl of chocolate bars and turned back towards Yoongi, holding it out towards him.

“Oh, it’s...okay.” Yoongi glanced at the candy briefly and then away.

“Please. Doctors orders.” Jin insisted, a little disappointed that Yoongi had refused his gesture, and also a little worried that he had worries similar to the ones Jimin had. 

With a sigh, Yoongi took a peanut butter cup from the bowl and tucked it into the pocket of his sweater. Whether it would be eaten or not, Jin didn’t know, but at least he had taken it. 

“Have a good night, Doctor. Thank you again.”  
“You’re welcome, Yoongi. Take care.” Jin gave him a small polite wave and then Yoongi slipped from the room, closing the door gently behind him.

Jin sighed, alone in the room at last and without wasting any more time, he began to tidy up the room so that he could get ready to leave. A few minutes of tidying and filing papers away later and he was able to hang up his doctors coat, retrieving his jacket from the hook and sliding his arms into it, thankful that he was finally able to make his way home and relax.

—

Jin had never been much of a drinker, to be sure, but by Friday night, he found himself severely craving something to both wet his throat and relax his mind. On his way home from the office, he made a stop at the liquor store and picked himself up a bottle of red wine to go with the dinner he had ordered ahead and was about to pick up as his next stop. The week had been stressful, but Jin wanted everything about the night to be about unwinding.

When he finally reached his apartment, his arms were full of bags and aching from the strain and he was so relieved to set them down as he stepped inside. Putting away the groceries he had picked up, Jin glanced around his kitchen and decided that he would have to make time at some point over the weekend to get it a little tidier. The week had been full of long days and his take out dinner had become the norm, yet somehow, the sink was still as full of dishes as though he’d made several elaborate meals. Jin promised himself he’d get things in line and take better care the following week to make time to clean up before it became a pile. 

But in the moment, the couch was calling his name - as was the bucket of fried chicken. Pouring himself a glass of wine in a generously sized glass, he carried his meal out to the living room and collapsed onto the couch. Jin pulled a quilt around himself and basked in the warmth and the feeling of just doing nothing for a few minutes before digging into his food, thankful for the comforts of good linens, Netflix and double battered fried chicken.

Somewhere between starting the second glass of wine and reaching the bottom of the glass, Jin had grown tired of the drama he’d been watching and picked up his phone. His mind wandered back to the time that he’d run into Colin at the coffee shop and he hated the itch of curiosity that made him wonder why he’d never contacted him again. Taking another sip of the red, he opened up his Instagram app and found himself typing in Colin’s username to pull up his page, where they were still connected as ‘friends’. Jin scrolled down a row of photos before he found a photo that featured another guy pressing a kiss to Colin’s cheek. The caption stated “One Week <3” And Jin couldn’t decide if he wanted to laugh or roll his eyes - or both. How gross. Still, behind the annoyance there was a deeper bitterness, a faint hint of jealousy that made his blood boil. What did this stranger have that was so much better than him? Jin decided to “Unfriend” Colin and then closed the app, taking another sip of the wine, and then another, until the glass was empty. 

And then he opened the Grindr app.

Perhaps after a few drinks wasn’t the best time to peruse the available options, Jin considered, but at the same time, a little bit of liquid confidence had always done him some good. It had been awhile since he had browsed the site and he was a little disappointed that he hadn’t received any new messages. Flipping through his photos on his profile, he wondered if perhaps he needed a new one. He was not going to cave and take a shirtless picture like so many of the other sleazy guys on the site, but Jin wondered if something that showed off his broad shoulders might help his case. Youngjae had always told him how much he envied them, after all, and Jin thought that it couldn’t hurt. Or perhaps the wine told him that it couldn’t hurt, but either way, he found himself in just his undershirt in the bathroom taking several selfies until he deemed one to be the best. The photo was far from anything scandalous, considering he was fully clothed, but his shoulders were exposed and taking up the bulk of the frame from the angle he’d taken it at. His deep brown eyes were focused on the camera and his thick lips were almost in a pout. It was his most serious looking photo, to be sure, as the rest of them were just casual smiles, but Jin hoped that maybe the new approach would be what he needed.

Jin scrolled to the written part of his profile next. He’d left his bio section fairly vague, but he decided to erase it and try again. It took several rounds of typing and erasing, only to type nearly the same thing out again, but twenty minutes or so later, he had written something that he was happy with. Or the wine was making him happy. Speaking of which, he decided that he should pour himself a third glass - just a half glass. 

**As you may have guessed from my user name - I am a doctor, and my name is Jin. If you were hoping that means I am rich, I should let you down now and let you know that I feel as though I will probably be paying off my student loans for the rest of my life. Ha. Ha. Ha. On the bright side, I would love to make you laugh and I’d love to cook you a delicious meal, food is my passion. **

**I am starting to wonder if I am doing something wrong when it comes to this site. It seems like most guys just want one thing, and that thing is great and all, but I want more than that. Is that too much to ask? I am not so great at writing about myself but maybe I will give this one last shot. **

Jin refilled his glass and scrolled through several profiles, but every time he opened up a message to send to somebody, his mind drew blank. It had been hard enough to write out the profile, but it was even more difficult to start a conversation with a stranger. And yet he expected the perfect guy to just message him. By the end of the third glass of wine, he felt more tired than hopeful, and decided to close the app, tidy up the living room and call it a night.

After brushing his teeth, Jin picked up his phone and carried it towards the bedroom. Just as he was pulling back the duvet on his queen sized bed, the phone buzzed and he jumped a little bit at the notification. He had a new message in the app. 


	21. Office Hours - Twenty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So much going down in this chapter! I think that's why I had so much performance anxiety writing it. Please forgive how long this took me to post. I have been spending a bit of time working on another project (Good Boy Taehyung) but by no means is this story going to be abandoned any time soon, I really appreciate your patience with me!

Jin wasn’t sure if the tremble in his fingers was due to the wine or his nerves as he fumbled to open the app, too curious about the message to wait until the morning to read it. Climbing under his down filled duvet, the mattress sinking below him felt like a familiar hug. He had always loved his bed, it was comfortable and spacious - too big for just one, it would be nice to have someone to share it with. Pulling the blankets up and around him he almost wished he had another glass of wine to settle his nerves, but he also wished that he wasn’t so nervous about a simple message on a stupid site. It was probably just another creep, anyway, he thought to himself as he navigated his way to his inbox and pulled up the new message from “yestodumplings”. Okay. That was cute. 

**yestodumplings: Want to know something pathetic? It took me no less than ten minutes to figure out how to write this message. I wanted to be witty or funny, but I couldn’t think of anything that didn’t sound like I was trying too hard. But, I am trying hard, I guess, because you are the first person that hasn’t seemed like everyone else on this site. I keep getting message after message from creeps that want dick pics. You probably won’t reply because I’m younger than you, but I had to try. What’s your favourite thing to cook? I love to eat, but I am terrible in the kitchen. I eat too much candy, too. Do you have a favourite chocolate bar? I like kit-kats. I hope it’s not a deal breaker that I eat them whole, instead of breaking them into pieces. My friends say I’m weird. Actually, most people that meet me say that. Maybe I shouldn’t have told you that. Maybe I’ve already said too much. You have a really cute smile, you probably hear that a lot, but it really is. Do you have any plans for the weekend? I know mine would be a lot better if it included a message back from you. - Seonwu**

Jin couldn’t help but smile by the end of the message, it was incredibly sincere and he was immediately curious about who this Seonwu was. How much younger did he mean? Jin wondered as he waited for the profile to load, hoping that he was at least older than twenty five. To his relief, Seonwu listed himself as being twenty-seven, which was the first detail he looked for, even scrolling past the pictures first. Phew. Slowly, he scrolled back up and looked at the photos, there were three. Seonwu was adorable, bright shining eyes and a friendly smile. He had fairly short hair, but it was longer in the front, hanging over his eyes a little. The photos were all selfie-style, and they were all fully clothed, to Jin’s relief. There wasn’t a lot written in the profile, which was a little bit disappointing, but he read that Seonwu liked to watch documentaries and listen to music, so he sounded a little more introverted and that was fine by Jin, who much preferred to stay in than go out himself. Seonwu wrote that he loved strawberry milkshakes and milk tea and Jin smiled to himself, thinking that it would probably be fun to go on a food crawl together, trying all sorts of new things for the first time. Quickly, he navigated back to the message so that he could reply, finding that once the white box was staring at him, empty and waiting, he was a lot more nervous than he had hoped he’d be. Seonwu had messaged him first, and eagerly at that, so why was this still so hard?

**TheDoctorIsJin: If it’s any consolation, replying was easier in my head than in practice. Or maybe that is something to do with the wine I had. Please don’t think I am some lush, I don’t usually drink, but it’s been a long week. So, I am looking forward to a pretty laid back weekend, my only plans are my best friend's birthday dinner tonight. I do need to pick up some lobsters for that. They’re his favourite. Speaking of favourite, my favourite thing to make is actually a bit weird. I am a creature of habit. I do my grocery shopping on Saturday’s, and so Friday nights (when energy allows…) I make a challenge of using up whatever is left in my fridge and making a meal out of it. Sometimes this turns out better than others. What is your favourite meal?**

**I do have a sweet tooth, I keep a bowl of chocolate bars in my office and try not to eat them. (I fail at this.) I don’t care how you eat your kit-kats, I’m not very judgemental, as long as you don’t make fun of the fact that I am the only human being on earth to not like Reese’s peanut butter cups. My favourite is a Skor bar, or M&M’s. **

**Thank you for the message, it’s a relief to meet someone else on here that doesn’t seem like a pervert and it was a relief to see that you aren’t quite too young for me. As long as you don’t walk too fast on our date, I have to keep up with my cane. Ha ha ha. You are pretty cute yourself, I like your eyes. Okay. I should go to bed now, I am tired and have had too much wine. Goodnight. - Seokjin**

Part of him wanted to stay up and wait to see if a reply came quickly, but the exhaustion from the week was rapidly catching up with him. With a yawn, he put his phone down on his table and plugged it in before reaching over and turning off the lamp that rested beside his bed. The room became black and with a soft sigh, he rolled over, closing his eyes and before long, sleep had found him.

The next morning, Seokjin woke up long after the sun had risen, which was uncommon for him, usually an early bird. He wanted to stay in bed, but he knew that he had some shopping to do for the party and he was a little afraid to see the time. Reaching for his phone, he was relieved to see that it wasn’t even eight-thirty in the morning and even more interesting, was the fact that he had a new notification from the dating app - another new message from “yestodumplings”. The slight ache in his head reminded him of the quantity of wine that he had consumed the night before and he immediately thought back to the message he had sent Seonwu. He’d have to read that - or maybe not, maybe it was better not to know. It couldn’t have been that bad, or he wouldn’t have replied, right?

Sitting up in bed, Jin allowed the duvet to fall away from him, crumpling in his lap as he opened up his inbox to read the new message.

**Yestodumplings: Hopefully you are not too hung-over when you read this. I like wine, but I’m more of a soju guy. Your Friday night meals sound like a lot of fun. If I tried to do that, it would be a disaster. But I bet yours turn out great. Maybe you can make me one sometime… :) After that date you mentioned… if you would rather bring your wheelchair, I would be willing to push you.**

**Just kidding. Please don’t be mad.**

**Ok, really though, my favourite meal is almost anything. I guess if I had to pick I might say barbecue… but I might say sushi the next day… and pasta the next. My favourite meal is food. I obviously really like dumplings, too. Soup dumplings are good, the spicier, the better. **

**Have you met very many people from this site? I only joined a week ago… but you are the first person I have actually been able to talk to, most guys have just asked for dick pics or even sent me theirs. Ugh. I mean, it’s nice, in moderation, but I’m much more interested when there are feelings attached. Is that weird? **

**I am jealous of your low-key weekend, I was supposed to be off, but now I am working. As usual. You probably work a lot too, so enjoy your time off, and have a great time at your friends party. Maybe you can let me know how it goes.**

**-Seonwu**

Jin re-read the message a second time and then a third. It was nice to finally have met someone that seemed to just want to talk about normal things. And he was still attractive, to boot, Jin thought to himself as he decided to go back to his profile and take a second look - sober. To his relief, he was still the same sweet-looking guy that he had remembered, a friendly smile and kind eyes. Two of the selfies seemed to have been taken in a bathroom, and the other in what seemed to be a bedroom. There wasn’t much else in the pictures to give any hints to his lifestyle or his personality, but Jin knew that would come in time, the more he got to know him, as long as it continued to flow as easily as it had begun. Jin went back to the inbox and read the message a fourth time before typing out a reply, still snuggled under his blankets.

**TheDoctorIsJin: We will have to see if there will still be a date if you keep disrespecting me, ha ha ha. I am kidding. I am not mad. I am okay with the age difference if you are. We are only five years apart, that isn’t too weird, right? **

**Spicy dumplings are the best. Anything spicy is good, food just seems naked without it. And on that note, no, you aren’t weird to prefer when feelings are attached. I have met one guy from the site, he wasn’t a creep after dick pics, but we only went on one date and then I never heard from him again. He actually did seem nice, but the vast majority of the other guys on here seem weird or just after sex.**

**I work a lot too, lately it has been really busy, a lot of extra appointments. What exactly do you do for work? **

**I am looking forward to the party, but less to the shopping trip. I am not hung over, but my head does hurt a little bit and the grocery store will probably be busy. Once I get the lobsters and the shopping done, I can just look forward to the party, but what I am really looking forward to is sleeping in tomorrow.**

**Tell me what you would do if you did have the weekend off and you could choose to do anything at all.**

**-Seokjin**

Jin thought about browsing the profiles of who was online at the moment, but decided instead to have a shower, knowing that there probably wouldn’t be anyone more interesting than Seonwu anyway. He knew better than to be prematurely excited, because anything could happen, but he couldn’t help but look forward to seeing the notification that would tell him that Seonwu had replied. Jin made his way to the bathroom, grabbing a fluffy towel from the linen closet in the hallway just outside the small room. It wasn’t very big, but it was well organized with all of the towels and cloths being kept in the closet in the hall to save room. The tiles were a shiny black and the walls were a crisp white. He had had a red shower curtain at first, but had switched it to a black one, which felt nice and private every time he got behind it. The towel he had chosen was black to match, and he tossed it onto the hook on the wall as he pulled his shirt off first before the rest of his clothes before reaching for the faucet to turn the water on.

The hot water felt good against his skin, and Jin let it soak him for a few long minutes before he bothered to reach for his face wash, his usual first step of his shower routine. He washed his hair next, massaging the minty scented shampoo into his thick hair. When he was done washing his body, he let himself savour the feeling of the hot water pouring over him for a few more moments before he knew that he should probably get out. He didn’t want to waste water, for the sake of the planet or his bills. But if he was being honest, he could stay in there all day.

After getting dressed, he explored his badly-in-need-of-a-shop kitchen in search of something to call breakfast that would satisfy the growl in his stomach. There was plenty of cereal, but there wasn’t enough milk. Wandering back to the cupboard he’d already looked into, he pulled down the box of oatmeal and picked out a packet from the selection - of which there was plenty, because oatmeal was one of those things for him that sounded like a great idea when it was sitting on the shelf at the store, and then after one lacklustre bowl, would sit in the pantry for months. Alas, it was oatmeals day to shine, and with it he grabbed the last banana, a little more brown than he’d rather but he was satisfied with his breakfast and the fact he was using up his groceries. He was working on the habit of not buying more than he needed, as tempting as it could be when the cravings struck at the store. But nothing felt worse than having to throw out food that had gone off.

After his breakfast, Jin brushed his teeth and decided it would be better to head to the grocery store before it became too busy. Jin gathered up his things, his reusable bags, his wallet and keys before shoving his phone into his pocket. On the elevator ride down from his floor, he felt his phone buzz and he wondered if it might be a reply from Seonwu. Instead, it was a text from Youngjae.

**Hey Jinnie, looking forward to seeing you later. Wanted to let you know everyone is meeting at 4:30 now instead of 4:00. But come whenever. I miss your face. Ps. don’t forget the lobsters. **

Jin smiled and typed out a quick reply that he’d come for 4:00 anyway, because he really did miss Youngjae as well. During medical school, they shared a dorm room and had had so much time to hang out, even if most of it was spent studying rather than socializing, but still, the quiet company was something that became a comfort to Jin. At first, Jin had looked forward to having his own space. Never having to wait for the shower or see someone else's dirty dishes in the kitchen sink. But after a few days, the quiet felt a little bit lonely, and he and Youngjae had picked up a texting habit to fill the void. A year or so later, the frequency of the texts had slowed, but the affection that he felt for his best friend hadn’t diminished any.

As Jin pulled his car carefully into the parking lot of his favoruite grocery store, he felt his hopes of a peaceful trip diminishing by the second as row after row of cars came into view. Everyone had decided to come at the same time, it seemed. Jin found a spot near the back of the parking lot, well away from any other cars, the way he preferred, even if it meant a longer walk. Why was it already so busy? He wondered, thinking perhaps there was a good sale, and that maybe he should check his app. After unbuckling his seatbelt, Jin fished his phone out of his pocket and felt his heartbeat pick up at the sight of a familiar notification. Another new message from “yestodumplings”. 

**Yestodumplings: I don’t think our age difference is too much, I might have when I was younger. I haven’t really had a lot of experience dating, I was late coming out, but being comfortable around someone is more important than their age, and you seem to be someone I could be myself around, and I like that. Hopefully that’s not too forward. **

**I have a really boring job, trust me, you don’t want to hear about it. I work in a call centre. Everyone hates it, so they are always calling in, which is why I am always working. Plus, rent is really expensive in Seoul so it’s hard to say no to the extra money.**

**If I actually had a whole weekend off and could do anything I wanted… **

**I would love to have breakfast in bed, and it would be even better if I didn’t have to make it myself. (You said anything.) Nothing crazy, just some scrambled eggs and toast would be nice, it would just be nice to be able to eat it at my own leisure rather than scarfing it down on my way out the door. After that… if it was a nice day, I’d probably choose to spend it outside. A park, maybe the beach in Busan if I was up for a drive. It would be best if I had my friends with me, at least one of them. Or even a date. (You said anything!) At the end of the day, maybe dinner at an all you can eat sushi or just grab something and take it home. If I go home alone, I’ll probably have a glass of soju and eat while watching a documentary on netflix. And if I have company… well, I guess we will still have soju and watch netflix, but I’ll let them choose what we watch :) (but I like documentaries, call me boring.)**

**I have to get going to work now or else I’d write to you more. Have fun at the party tonight and don’t forget to tell me how it goes.**

**\--Seonwu**

Jin had no envy for the fact that his new … friend? Worked in a call centre. He could only imagine how nasty some of the people he interacted with were and he wondered if Seonwu had a thick skin because of it. Jin knew that even though he could handle seeing any number of uncomfortable things in the medical field as a doctor, he also knew that he could be very sensitive about people being rude to him. Fortunately, most of his patients had been polite and respectful, maybe a little distracted at worst when it came to idols who were more interested in social media than their appointment or maybe a little dramatic in the case of Jimin, but no one had been mean. Jin began to type a reply, wondering about what kinds of people Seonwu had to deal with and if he had to put up with much or maybe he was imagining it wrong, because he had never worked in a call centre, but he had been on the other end, frustrated with a long hold time or someone who had a poor grasp on his language. 

**TheDoctorisJin: Working in a call centre sounds like it would be tough, I hope people are not too mean to you. You are right, that rent in Seoul is crazy, I don’t know if I will ever pay off my student loans either, despite how much I work and even though I make a good wage. **

**Your ideal weekend sounds perfect, I love documentaries as well. I also like comedies. I just don’t care much for horror movies, who wants to watch someone being chopped up or hiding for their life? No thanks… And you are in luck, I am great at making eggs. I might even make you pancakes. If you invited me over to do so, on one of those rare weekends off, that is.**

**Maybe that was me being forward, or my way of saying I don’t mind that you’re forward. I respect people who are honest and forthright about how they feel. I am not afraid to do the same, and tell you that you are the first person I’ve enjoyed talking to this much in a long time. I hope you have a good shift at work and I’ll tell you about the party tomorrow.**

**\--Seokjin**

Although he was a little disappointed that he probably wouldn’t hear back from Seonwu until the following day, Jin had a hard time pushing down the bubbly excitement in his chest. It was as if he had a crush, but he hardly knew this person, he didn’t even know what his voice sounded like or where he lived. Just that he lived in Seoul, his name was Seonwu, and he worked in a call centre. And he was cute. And easy to talk to. That, he supposed, was enough to make him feel excited, but another part of him warned him about feeling too much too quickly. Colin had seemed great too, after all.

Jin wove his way through the grocery store, wandering up and down aisles until his cart was full, ready for another week of meals. While the store had been busy when he had first arrived, by the time he had made his way to the cash registers, it wasn’t nearly as congested and he was grateful for the fact that he didn’t have to wait in line very long. That was the worst part of the store being busy, he had always thought.

Jin’s next stop was the seafood market, where he had pre-ordered the dozen lobsters. He had paid for the order online, and it hadn’t been cheap, but his best friend was worth it. Earlier in the week, he had also picked up two new video game titles that he knew YoungJae would enjoy. Gaming was something that his best friend loved, but Jin knew nothing about, so he counted on saving parts of their conversations where YoungJae mentioned titles and characters, so that he had something to go on when it came to an occasion where he could buy him a gift. 

After making a stop to pick up a latte, it was after two o’clock when Jin arrived back home at his apartment, arms full of groceries and lobsters chilling in their cooler pack in the car. He had enough time to put everything away, make a quick lunch and then maybe do a little bit of vacuuming in the living room before it would be time to drive over to Youngjae’s, about twenty minutes away.

—

Jin checked his hair in the mirror for what was probably the seventh time. Though it wasn’t a date, he still wanted to look nice for his best friend's birthday dinner, where YoungJae’s family and friends would be. It felt decidedly more formal than their typical hangouts, which usually consisted of take out food (fried chicken was a favourite of both) and sweatpants. When he was as satisfied as he felt he was going to get with how he looked, Jin deemed himself ready and fluttered around the apartment, gathering up his things until he was ready to go. Before leaving, he glanced at his phone to be sure he hadn’t missed any notifications, but unfortunately, Seonwu seemed to be hard at work and unable to reply to his message.

About half way through the drive to YoungJae’s house, Jin’s phone went off and he pulled over to check the message. It was from YoungJae, asking if he would be there soon. Jin glanced at the clock, smiling at the fact that it was not quite quarter to four, but he was just as excited to see his friend so he hurriedly replied that he’d be there in about ten more minutes. 

Youngjae was waiitng outside of his front door when Jin pulled into the parking lot. Jin recognized a white SUV as belonging to his parents, and another red sedan that he didn’t recognize.

“Who else is here?” Jin asked as he got out of the car.

“Just Soobin and his boyfriend, Yeonjun.” 

Youngjae smiled and then wrapped his arms tightly around Jin, pulling him in for a hug. Youngjae had always been a hugger, and Jin had grown to love the security he felt when his friends' long arms wrapped around him in a tight embrace. Sighing softly as they pulled apart, he realized that he had missed him even more than he had realized.

“Good to see you.” JIn said, smiling broadly at Youngjae, who pushed his hair away from his eyes and grinned back.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you more.” Jin teased. 

“I missed lobster too. You brought them?” Youngjae asked, looking over Jin’s shoulder and at his car.

Jin laughed. “Yes, I wouldn’t dare forget.”

—

Before long, the rest of the guests had trickled in and Jin was relieved that he knew just about everyone that was there. A lot of them were friends from medical school, and the evening had dissolved quickly in long overdue conversations, catching up about their new careers and everything that had changed since the time that they had sat in class together or worked side by side in labs. 

With the majority of the crowd being Jin and YoungJae’s friends, Soobin and Yeonjun had parked themselves in front of the tv, playing with YoungJae’s Nintendo Switch. Jin couldn’t help but glance over to them from time to time, it still feeling a little bit surreal that their paths had crossed and that YoungJae’s cousin of all people had ended up as an idol. Neither he, nor Yeonjun, seemed anything but typical young men, huddled near the tv and absorbed in a round of Mariokart, but Jin knew that outside of this carefree slice of their lives, they had busy schedules and were probably a lot more mature than most people in the room expected them to be.

Dinner had been delicious, and the lobsters had been especially well received. YoungJae had chosen the biggest one, and he had been delighted when his cousin told him that he could have her tail as well, because she was so full from the rest of dinner. YoungJae’s parents had arrived early in the day and had made filet mignon, and the meat was cooked perfectly, melting on Jin’s tongue. He ate until he was stuffed, and glancing around the table, it seemed as though everyone else had done the same.

Later in the evening, the crowd thinned out again and as the night wore on, only Jin, Soobin, Yeonjun and Youngjae’s parents remained. His parents had went to bed after cleaning up, and Jin could feel the fatigue setting in, reminding him that he was grateful he had accepted Youngjae’s earlier offer to sleep over. He hated to drive after having a drink anyway, and he had had not one, but two glasses of wine with dinner. Combined with the drinking he had done the night before, it was the most he had indulged in in awhile and he could feel the alcohol making him sleepier than usual.

Youngjae’s phone errupted and he jumped up. “Oh! It’s my boyfriend.” 

His boyfriend had been the only one unable to make the dinner, as he was away on a trip abroad. He was a doctor as well, and was volunteering in a clinic in Africa. A noble gesture, no doubt, but Jin knew that he would miss him a lot if he were in Youngjae’s shoes. And from the excitement that he could see on his best friends face from the phone call, he knew that he was right about YoungJae missing him.

“I’ll be back.” Youngjae promised, getting up from the couch. “One second babe.” He said into the phone.

“Take your time.” Jin laughed. “I know where to find the blankets if I need to crash before you’re done.”

“Thanks.” YoungJae smiled and then disappeared from the room, slipping down the hallway to his bedroom and closing the door behind him.

Jin decided that he could use a drink of something that wasn’t wine, and decided to wander into the kitchen, pulling a glass from the cupboard he knew they were kept in and pouring himself a glass of water from the tap. He sauntered back to the living room, pulling his phone from his pocket and checking for the first time in awhile to see if he had missed anything.

A new message from ‘yestodumplings’! 

“Seokjin?”

Jin jumped at the sound of his name, the voice was vaguely familiar but it wasn’t until he looked up from his phone that he recognized it as belonging to Soobin. The tall boy stood in front of him, with Yeonjun at his side, and while they had been laughing and giggling not twenty minutes before about something in their game, both of them seemed suddenly rather solemn. Jin put his phone back into his pocket, knowing that there was something more important suddenly at stake. He was unsure of what exactly, but something about the look on Soobin’s face told him that he owed him his full attention.

“You can call me Jin.” Jin smiled, sitting up on the couch a little bit. “What’s up?”

“Um…” Soobin started nervously but his voice faded away again, and he began to chew at his lip. 

“We were wondering if we could talk to you.” Yeonjun interrupted, stepping up a little bit and giving Jin a very shy smile.

“Of course you can. Is something wrong? Are you both feeling okay?”

“Nothing is wrong like that.” Soobin said quickly, his cheeks flushing a light shade of pink. “We are okay....” His voice trailed off again and Jin watched as his eyes flickered towards his boyfriend.

Yeonjun cleared his throat and shifted his weight a little bit, obviously nervously and uncomfortable but trying to be the one to step up and help his boyfriend. It was sweet, it was endearing, but it made Jin wonder just what it was that they were so nervous to talk to him about - especially if it had nothing to do with their health, seemingly. Finally, after what felt like a long pause, Yeonjun spoke softly.

“It’s about Doctor Wang.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	22. Office Hours - Twenty One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh. I know this update was a really long time coming. It goes without saying that this chapter was pretty difficult to write. It took me a long time to figure out how to approach it and an even longer time to get it written. It isn't very long, but I sort of needed to just punch it out, not elaborate too heavily, and move on, if that makes sense? I don't feel it's my best writing, so please be kind. Life has been pretty tumultuous with everything going on. ** On the bright side, I am back to work ^.^

All of the times that Jin had tried to swallow the feeling that something was amiss with Dr. Wang felt as though they were suddenly rising, not unlike a bile in his throat as he listened to Yeonjun and Soobin reveal the secrets that they had been holding onto for so long. There had always been something about the older Doctor that had made him uneasy, but he never could have imagined that it was anything like what he would learn. 

As soon as the boys had approached him in Youngjae’s living room, the entire atmosphere of the evening had changed. The expressions that they wore told him that they needed to talk to him about something serious, something far beyond a trivial complaint or annoyance, and though he felt honoured to be so trusted, he also worried that he wouldn’t be capable of handling it alone. But who would he ask for help when the issue was about the lead doctor at the office, himself? Jin resolved himself to take things slowly, so he did the best thing he thought he could do, which was to listen to Soobin and Yeonjun and assure them that he would do everything in his power to ensure that Dr. Wang couldn’t do these things to anyone else.

It had been Soobin that opened up about his experience first, and Jin listened, barely breathing, as the much younger boy explained the occurrences that had started at his very first appointment. All of the members had been required to complete a pre-entry physical, to ensure that they were in sound health to proceed after the initial selection process. Jin understood this, because he had done Kai’s exam himself, though he was now confused about why the youngest members had been put for for so long. And on another hand, he was relieved that at least one of them had been spared Dr. Wang’s exam.

Doctor Wang had begun the exam with a series of questions, some of which Jin had asked Kai, such as if he had experienced any pain or any other ailments he wanted to discuss, but some of the questions were a lot less clinical and a lot more personal. Soobin explained that he had been asked about his sexual history, and had been made to tell the older Doctor that he was indeed a virgin, but beyond that, had even been made to admit to whether or not he masturbated. Jin couldn’t believe the intimacy of the questions and felt his stomach churning as Soobin listed off each of the things he had been made to discuss, and most of them seemed to serve no purpose besides to reveal unnecessary, and extremely personal information. 

As if the questions had not been bad enough, Doctor Wang made a few changes to the way he conducted the physical exam that made Jin’s stomach turn over yet again. While Jin had read the temperature of many of his patients, many of times, he had only ever used an oral or an ear thermometer. Jin’s mind reeled back to the times when patients had expressed relief about the fact that he would be using these types of thermometers, and he had never understood exactly why, until Soobin explained that Doctor Wang had used a rectal thermometer to read his. Jin could see no benefit to using that type of device, and it seemed that there was a reason far beyond anything medical for his handling of the procedure, and everything that it was beginning to point to, was enough to make Jin want to cry. 

There had been a pause, and then some assurances from Yeonjun before Soobin had finished telling Jin the rest of what had happened at the exam. Soobin and Yeonjun’s fingers were laced tightly together as Soobin began to explain the final part of the procedure, which had been the prostate exam. While Jin had felt that the procedure was a little bit beyond necessary for patients of their age, it had been brought to his attention that a former patient in their late twenties had been diagnosed with prostate cancer, and since then, no chances were to be taken. The procedure was uncomfortable for anyone, and that included Jin, but he was able to ensure that his patients didn’t feel any pain because he only used one finger and because he took his time, using plenty of lubricant and comforting words. Doctor Wang had done things differently, introducing two fingers immediately, and even with the use of lubricant, Soobin had said that it had been anything but comfortable. If that hadn’t been enough, the older doctor insisted on adding a third finger, spending several minutes before Soobin’s trembling body and watering eyes finally convinced him to stop. 

Jin had wanted to rush to the bathroom and empty his stomach of the delicious dinner, an event that felt so far away now that the gravity of his situation had sunk in. He had been painfully oblivious to what was happening just down the hall from his own office, and even though he wanted to burst into action, he knew logically that there would be a more sensible way to go about this than breaking into the office that night to look for evidence. 

When Soobin was finished, he announced that he was going to get up and make a cup of tea, and asked Jin and Yeonjun if they wanted one as well. They had both said yes. It was at that point as well that Youngjae sauntered back into the room and when he and Soobin nearly collided, they talked very quietly in a way that told Jin that his friend had known more about all of this than he had let on. 

“Is it okay if I sit in on the conversation?” Youngjae had asked in a quiet voice as he entered the living room, his eyes flicking back and forth between Jin and Yeonjun.

“Sure.” Yeonjun hadn’t seemed to mind, but also decided to wait until Soobin returned with the tea before he began his explanation.

The room was silent and the tension was thick while Jin waited for Soobin to return with the drinks. When finally the mugs were sat down and the tea was steaming in front of him, there was a long pause while Yeonjun stirred at nothing in his tea with a spoon. Yeonjun’s hesitation to begin only made Jin feel increasingly nervous about what would be revealed, and as he had worried, it was nothing short of awful when he finally started to uncover what he had been hiding. Things had started off better than with Soobin, in the sense that Yeonjun’s first exam had been with Dr. Choi, the other older doctor that worked in the office. 

Dr. Choi was a quiet man, more reserved and less forward than Dr. Wang. He had never been anything but polite and friendly to Jin, though he hadn’t a chance to get to know him much more beyond basic small talk. He knew that Dr. Choi had led the sexual health seminar the year before and that he hadn’t heard any rumblings of misconduct from Dr. Choi, and as Yeonjun confirmed, the appointment with Dr. Choi had been uneventful. So, when Yeonjun started having abdominal pains, he scheduled an appointment with the same doctor he had seen before and didn’t worry too much about it. Until he arrived at the office, that was, and he was told that Dr. Choi had to take an emergency call and Dr. Wang would be completing the exam. Yeonjun had said that at first, he thought it would be okay, since he just had a stomach ache, and he wasn’t due for an actual physical examination. Unfortunately, it hadn’t been so straight forward.

Dr. Wang had begun the appointment with a fairly typical and unassuming set of questions, but when it was time to read Yeonjun’s temperature, he had directed him to drop his shorts and get on his hands and knees on the table. And that had only been the beginning, of course. Listening to the younger boy made Jin’s throat feel dry and his palms feel clammy. He felt trembles of cold but at the same time, hot with anger as he watched the fear clouding Yeonun’s eyes as he described what had happened next. Of course, he hadn’t known what to do, except to follow the order, because Dr. Wang hadn’t looked like he was in any sort of mood to negotiate. It had been quick, at least, Yeonjun said and as straightforward as it could be, but it was terribly humiliating. When he was through, he removed the thermometer and stared at it for a long time. Yeonjun took a shaky breath before continuing. 

Because abdominal pains could be caused by a number of things, from something as simple as eating something that didn’t agree with you, to internal bleeding, Jin had no idea where Yeonjun was about to lead the direction of the story. While Jin probably would have prescribed something to settle the stomach if there was no sign of a fever, Dr. Wang had assumed that Yeonjun must be constipated. Jin could feel his skin crawling as his mind reeled back to when Taehyung had come to him with the same issue. Yeonjun went on to explain that Dr. Wang had administered an enema in the procedure room, despite the fact that he had insisted he had just gone to the bathroom that morning. The room fell quiet and Jin couldn’t feel the need to ask Yeonjun for any further details, because the part that was unsettling him the most was the fact that Dr. Wang had been so curious about the enema he had done himself with Taehyung, and so firm that in the future, it needed to be conducted in that specific room. The room that Yeonjun had received the procedure in. But why? To his horror, he realized that he had been about to find out. 

Just when Jin had felt sure that he had heard enough, Soobin told him that no, there was something else. It had only been a rumour, a rumbling, just something that got whispered and spread amongst the patients. But, because of everything else, Soobin felt that Jin needed to know what they had heard first from Jimin. And then from Taehyun. That there were cameras planted in Dr. Wang’s procedure room. Jin felt as though he was about to be sick.

Jimin. The name was like fire in his ears and Jin could feel his heart pounding, recounting all of the reactions that Jimin had had to Dr. Wang. The emotion so heavy in his voice, the tremble behind his words, it wasn’t just a distaste for one doctor, but a downright fear. Now more than ever, he needed to know what had happened between them. 

After the boys were finished telling Jin what they had wanted to, and Jin had assured them that he would do everything in his power to stop it, no one really knew what else to say. Ten or so minutes drifted by in an awkward, heavy silence before Youngjae picked up the remote for the TV and suggested that they find something to watch. No one really protested, but without anyone making any suggestion about what to put on, Youngjae scrolled through Netflix for what felt like an eternity. Finally, he picked something animated that Jin had never heard of but Soobin had seemed half interested in, and he let the sound become a sort of background noise for the storm that was brewing within his mind.

Jin was terrified. Terrified about what he had known to have already happened and what he didn’t know, as well. Beyond that, he was terrified that even armed with the information, he wouldn’t be able to do enough. Because truthfully, he didn’t know how to start or where to begin. One thing he did know, was that he wouldn’t be able to do it alone. Finally, Yeonjun and Soobin announced that they were going to bed, they were sharing the spare room where there were two twin beds, but Jin doubted that both would be used. He was fortunate that if nothing else, they had each other, and they seemed incredibly close. Not unlike his bond with Youngjae, though not as intimate. Still, it had been Youngjae’s comfort that got him through the rest of the evening. Youngjae had listened quietly as Jin said again and again, he didn’t know what to do. Youngjae didn’t know either, but he promised that he would help, in any way he could. That Jin wouldn’t need to face it alone, and even though the small gesture was of great ease to his anxieties, Jin had known that falling asleep would be nearly impossible that night.

Jin had decided to sleep on the couch, even though Youngjae had tried to convince him to take his own bed. And by try, Jin could confirm that he meant beg, but he wasn’t about to let his best friend sleep on a couch - on his birthday. Jin threatened to not take Youngjae out for breakfast and the arguing ceased and Jin retired to the couch with a couple of pillows and a thick blanket. He wanted to relax as he laid down, but his mind was still swimming in the conversation that he had been a part of. The party had meant to help him relax and not think about work, but so much for that. From the coffee table, Jin’s phone buzzed and he sat up, wondering if it might be Youngjae still arguing about their sleeping arrangements.

Instead, it was a new message from within the dating app from YestoDumplings. Earlier, he would have been much more excited to read something from him, but now it was hard to shift his mind. Still, he picked up the phone and opened up the app, waiting for the message to load.

**Good evening,**

**It’s really late, and you’re probably in bed, but I had a bad night at work and I just wanted to come on and look at our messages and stuff, so I thought I’d say hi. You’re probably having a better evening, I hope that party was lots of fun and that you aren’t too drunk and in trouble now … ha ha… not that it matters if you are, you are free to do whatever you want… I’m rambling, sorry. I have had a drink myself. Talk soon.**

**PS: Pancakes are my favourite breakfast.**

For half of a second, Jin’s mind had been able to distance itself from the thought spiral that was the older doctor and his misconduct. His eyes floated over the message a second time, and then a third as he worked his lower lip between his teeth, contemplating on how he should respond. He wanted to ask about why Seonwu’s night had been so unpleasant, but his eyes were dry and tired with exhaustion and his mind, although still very awake, felt hardly capable of holding up a decent conversation. He wished he could do more, even though he hardly knew who this person was. Part of him even wished that he could make Seonwu breakfast, wondering what they might talk about, if Seonwu would hover around him while he tended to cooking the pancake batter on the hot stove. Or if he would be the lazy type, all snuggled up in bed while Jin bopped about the kitchen on his own, maybe listening to some music on his air pods. With a soft sigh, he opened up a message window to respond and stared at the cursor blinking against the blank background. Some sort of response was better than none, and perhaps honesty would just be best. Neither of them were having great nights. He wasn’t about to tell Seonwu exactly what had happened, of course, but as he began to type, he couldn’t help but notice that his mind seemed to drift away again and he felt a bit more at ease.

**I’m still awake. My night was okay, it wasn’t quite what I was expecting and I’m hoping a good sleep helps clear my head. I hope a good night of rest helps you as well. Maybe we can chat more tomorrow? I’m glad you like pancakes. I wish I could make you some, I swear good food can work magic on bad days. Sleep well, cutie.**

Jin could feel his cheeks burning a little bit after typing the affectionate “cutie” at the end of his sentence. He hadn’t been planning on adding that, but something about the way it sounded… or read? Just felt right. It made his heart flutter in an excited way as he pressed the send button and closed the app as he readjusted his pillow on the couch in a bid to make his make-shift bed a little bit more comfortable. As he closed his eyes, he tried to push the thoughts about Dr. Wang to the back of his mind and replace them with Seonwu. Where would they go on their first date? He contemplated. But like a dark cloud, his mind wandered to the idea that an emergency call could interrupt them, like it had with Colin. And once his mind had drifted back to the clinic, of course, his thoughts began to circle again. It was hard to swallow the fact that he had no idea how he was going to walk into the office as if nothing had changed, when he in fact knew that things that made his stomach turn were happening just a few feet from where he had made himself so comfortable. In the matter of a single night, everything that he had learned about his workplace felt like a lie and he was unsure about how he would face the doctor himself without blurting something out. He didn’t know what exactly he would say, and even less what he would do, but as he rolled his body around on the couch again and again in an effort to find sleep, he promised himself that whatever it was that he would do, he would try his best, and that was all he could do. 

  
  



	23. Office Hours - Twenty Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jin returns to the office after learning the truth about his co-worker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The long awaited update! Life has been pretty tumultuous. I am so thankful for how the readership of this story has grown and I hope I will be forgiven for how long this take to finally update. I can't promise the next chapter will be speedy, but, I will say that I found this chapter particularly daunting because I had to "follow" such a heavy scene in the previous chapter. If that makes sense? I do worry that with the pause in the writing, I may have lost some of the flow, so please forgive me if this chapter is not my best work. I got to the point where I knew I had to write the idea I had and hope for the best. I am so excited for where this story is yet to go. Thank you so much for reading and I appreciate every kudos, comment, bookmark and subscription so very much.

The Following Monday

Jin had been tossing and turning all night before the sound of his alarm woke him, leaving his body feeling heavy and his mind fuzzy. He felt far from ready to face the office again. Stifling a yawn, he knew he really needed to get up but just couldn't find it within himself to throw his legs over the side of the bed. Yet. 

The next thing he knew, he was sitting straight up with his heart pounding. He had fallen back asleep and now he had only … he glanced frantically at his phone - twenty seven minutes to get dressed, eat something and leave. There would be no time for a shower, but he had taken one in the afternoon the day before after working out, so if was a logical sacrifice. Facing a morning of appointments on an empty stomach was the very unappealing alternative. As quickly as he could manage, Jin scrambled to his closet and pulled out a familiar shirt and a pair of black pants. He could feel a tremble in his hands as he worked at the buttons on his pajamas and he let go of a sigh before taking a deep breath. Panicking wouldn't help a thing, there was just so much already on his mind and he was so tired, he could only hope that the day would improve. 

Jin made it into his car with seconds to spare and a mouth full of banana, the other half of the uneaten fruit carried in his left hand, his keys and his travel mug of coffee in his right. Another bite of banana before buckling the seatbelt around himself and he willed his body to be calm as he turned the key in the ignition, there was enough on his mind about the fact that he was returning to the office before he had space to worry about being late or the fact that his hair could be a bit fresher in appearance. It was impossible to digest the new information that the weekend had afforded him in regards to his coworker and superior, Dr. Wang. As much as the reactive side wanted to march straight into the older doctors office at the first opportunity, the logical side of him knew that this was far from a good idea. He needed to learn a lot more information and do a lot more planning before proceeding with anything. But to think that it would be easy to return to the office that they shared, the fact that he would have to pass this man in the hall and probably even engage in conversations, as if nothing had changed, that was simply not true. He was dreading each and every interaction where he would have to face him, look into his eyes and pretend as if he didn’t know what he did. Jin knew that he had to do something, but he knew that he had to be extremely cautious about it, and he had a lot more information to gather before he could start to do anything at all. As he drove on, he did his best to push the thoughts down, suppressing them just enough to focus on getting safely to his familiar spot in the parking lot behind the small blue-painted concrete medical building. Everything about it seemed the same, as he walked up the few steps and through the glass doors and into the reception area, but at the same time, it was entirely different, knowing that patients were being treated unprofessionally between these walls by the head doctor on staff.  
Jin forced a smile and a small wave to Katy, who held up her hand, pulling him to a stop with a knot in his chest. He felt more anxious than he should, as if Katy knew what he was thinking about, but from the way her eyes were scanning the appointment program that was pulled up on her computer screen, he knew that all that was about to follow was something about a patient.

“You have an extra appointment today.” Katy began.

Jin nodded, feeling himself let go of the breath he had been holding onto. “No problem, who is it?”

“Min Yoongi.” Katy said and then paused, chewing at her bottom lip as she stared at the screen with seeming confusion, or maybe frustration. “He at first declined to give a reason for the appointment, but he was firm on it being booked with you, so I put him in at one o’clock and blocked off a whole hour.”

“At first?” Jin asked, noticing that Katy had never returned to that part of her sentence and he wondered what reason Yoongi had finally provided, and he wondered what the real issue was. Probably just something embarrassing or sensitive, he reasoned, but a deeper part of him felt a little worried that it was something more ominous, even related to what Yeonjun had told him over the weekend. 

“When I pressed for a reason, he rattled off something about an earache.” Katy replied, her tone a little bit thin, and Jin wondered if Yoongi had had a history of being difficult, or if maybe she was just tired from a long weekend herself. She wasn’t usually anything but pleasant and sweet, so the shift in her attitude did nothing to set his already worried mind at ease.

“Well, no problem, I don’t mind the extra appointment at all.” Jin said, forcing himself to smile. There was a pause, a moment of lingering silence that hung between the two of them and he decided to stretch out a further question. “How was your weekend?”

“Exhausting.” Katy sighed, and then launched into a much longer winded than anticipated explanation of the fact that her partner, Emilie, had decided to bring home a new puppy without any previous discussion, and of course, it ended up being a case of her girlfriend biting off more than she could chew. Neither of them had gotten much sleep with a constant schedule of letting the puppy out to use the bathroom or finding something that shouldn’t be in it’s mouth, in it’s mouth and having to be extracted from razor sharp puppy teeth. After a few minutes of talking, Jin was able to pull himself away, slightly relieved that at least the source of Katy’s mood had nothing to do with himself or with Yoongi, and it was just in his head, like a lot of his worries tended to be. 

As Jin slipped off his coat and went to hang it on the hook in his office, he felt a vibration from the pocket and fished out his phone, feeling a smile tug at his lips when he realized that it was a notification for a new message from yestodumplings.

Hey, 

Just wanted to wish you a good morning and tell you to have a good day today. I was having a sort of… “in my head” kind of morning, just feeling anxious for some things that have to get done today, but I read back through our messages and I feel better. If it is not too forward, I would like to exchange phone numbers so that we can move things over to text? I’ll leave mine below and if you want to text me, you can, and if not, I understand that too. 

Xxx-xxx-xxxx

Jin saw no reason not to add Seonwu’s number to his contact list, he had enjoyed the messages that they had exchanged, and it would probably be much easier to just text rather than navigate the dating app every time he wanted to open a message. He felt butterflies at the notion that perhaps Seonwu would want to talk on the phone, already feeling nervous about keeping a conversation rolling on the fly without the luxury of having the time to craft the perfect response. Even though he knew he should get to his desk and check his emails, Jin copied the number into a new contact profile and then opened up a text message.

Hey, it’s Jin. I’m about to start work but just wanted to send this so you had my number. Also wanted to tell you to take a deep breath and relax, most of it is probably in your head and it’s going to be okay. Will be thinking of you, good luck with whatever it is, hope we can chat later.

Quickly, Jin hit the send button and then tucked his phone away into his coat pocket and returned his focus to the task at hand - his work day. Jin made his way over to his desk, opening up his laptop as he settled into his seat. He always felt a little anxious about checking his email after a weekend, as there tended to be a build up of messages, and sometimes they were important. Fortunately, while there were several new emails, most of them were just question submissions for the upcoming sexual health seminar, which Jin was trying not to stress out about having enough time to work on. He knew, deep down, that it would all come together, but it might not be without a late night or two before then. Glancing at the time, Jin calculated that he had about forty five minutes before his first appointment, which was at least enough to start going through the new questions, and after taking a sip of his coffee, he opened up the first one and set to work.

The two appointments that filled Jin’s morning had been fairly straight forward. First, a trainee had come in for a simple prescription refill for their allergy medication and the entire appointment had lasted no more than fifteen minutes. With the extra time before the next patient, Jin caught up on a couple more emails, pleased that finally the unread were less than a handful remaining. The second appointment had taken a little bit more time, given the fact that the patient was also a trainee, and the appointment was for their screening medical. The medical test pertained to an entire physical exam, including a pelvic exam and pap smear. Jin tried to be as a gentle as he could, as usual, because she was a little nervous - and understandably so, knowing that these types of exams were something that no one ever really got used to. A part of him felt relieved that at least it was him performing the exam, instead of Dr. Wang. Another part of him wondered, and worried, that the older doctor was performing the same type of appointments just down the hall. This was out of his control, he told himself, as he stared at his now empty office and tried to muster an appetite for lunch. 

Jin picked and poked his way through most of a cup noodles, finally relenting to the fact that he couldn’t finish it and emptying the remains into the food waste bin. The staff lunch room was empty and while Jin normally would have relished in the privacy, he might have enjoyed the distraction that a light lunch time conversation might have offered him from the heaviness of his own thoughts. No matter what he did, he found it difficult to shake the way it felt to know what was happening behind the closed door of the elder doctor's office. What felt even worse, was that he didn’t quite know what to do, except he knew that he couldn’t act before he had more information and an actual plan. He also knew that he wouldn’t be able to do it alone, and he was grateful that his best friend, Youngjae had been quick to promise to help him in any way he could. While he had initially hoped for a response from Seonwu, the fact that his phone had no new notifications left him feeling even more lonely, and despite the fact that it was a quarter to one, Jin found himself heading out to the waiting room to see if Yoongi had arrived yet. 

The waiting room sat empty, as Jin had half expected, and he gave Katy a small wave, not wanting to interrupt the phone call that she was on, but not wanting to seem rude, either. Jin glanced around the empty room and then meandered over to the magazine rack, eyes scanning the various titles, knowing that he had already looked through most of them, and also knowing that even if he hadn’t, he could probably guess what most of the articles were about. After what felt like much longer than just a couple of minutes, the waiting room door swung open, and Yoongi, bound in an oversized black hoodie and equally loose black sweatpants, came in and immediately met Jin’s eyes.

“Oh.” He said softly. “Am I late?” He glanced between Jin and the desk, at Katy, and then back again, worry written across his dark eyes.  
“No, no.” Jin shook his head and gave him a weak smile, feeling bad for having worried his patient. “I just had some extra time so was checking out the magazines.” He lied, knowing immediately that Yoongi didn’t quite believe him from his shallow nod and his wandering eyes.

“Did you need a couple minutes? There’s no rush to come back.” Jin explained and then glanced down at his watch. “Your appointment is technically not for another five minutes.”

“No, it’s fine.” Yoongi shook his head. “We might as well get started..” 

Without any further exchange of words, Jin gently motioned for Yoongi to follow him down the hall and when they reached his office, he opened the door and allowed the younger to step inside first. 

“You can sit up on the table whenever you’re ready.” Jin said softly as he closed the door, trying to get a read on Yoongi without looking directly at him. He seemed fairly calm, which in a way, set Jin at ease, but confused him about why he had been hesitant to give Katy a reason for his appointment. He knew that it probably had nothing to do with an earache, but he didn’t seem as nervous as some of his patients that had come to him with problems that might be considered sensitive. Or maybe it was just how Yoongi was, he didn’t really know very much about him, having only seen him in passing and this would be their first appointment. The fact that Yoongi had insisted it was him that saw him, led him to believe that someone else had recommended him, and he wondered who it might be, probably Jimin or Hoseok. After Yoongi had pulled himself up onto the table, Jin knew that it was time to begin.

“So…” He began, pausing as he made his way towards the younger boy, giving him a gentle smile as he came to a stop at the side of the examination bed, leaning against it a little bit. “Katy said that you had an earache? Did you want to tell me about that?”

Yoongi’s eyes darted away from Jin’s for a moment and his cheeks darkened a little bit in a faint blush. “Umm.” Yoongi’s fingers gripped at the edge of the bed and Jin could sense that he was suddenly nervous, anxious about being put on the spot. Quickly, he seemed to recover enough to look back to Jin. and take a breath.”I’m not really here about my ear.” 

Jin knew that making Yoongi feel comfortable enough to speak openly and honestly was critical, and he knew that he didn’t have a lot of time to gain his trust, so his reaction to Yoongi’s confession was crucial. 

“That’s okay. Why don’t you tell me what really brings you in?” 

Yoongi’s shoulders softened and Jin felt relieved that some of the tension had perhaps already started to ease. 

“Well.” Yoongi finally started. “I… Don’t know if you have a lot of experience with what I am going to ask you about.”

“I might, I might not.” Jin admitted, because it was true. Although medical school covered the basics of everything, there were some things there were specialists for. “If nothing else, I would be able to make a referral.”

“No.” Yoongi shook his head. “It’s… that I have a prescription that I am hoping to get refilled.”

JIn inwardly flinched, immediately wondering if Yoongi was referring to something like a painkiller or another drug with an addictive tendency.

“What sort of prescription, Yoongi?” Jin asked in as gentle of a tone as he could manage, hoping that his worry wasn’t too obvious in his expression.

“Well.” Yoongi paused and then looked away. “It’s hard to admit this, but I've had a lot of struggles with depression throughout my life. When I was in my final year of high school, I started taking antidepressants and it helped.” 

Jin nodded, listening quietly and deciding to wait for Yoongi to continue, sensing that there was more he wanted to say.

“When I first signed with Big Hit… I didn’t disclose that I was taking them, because I had heard rumours that the labels didn’t like their idols to have that sort of…” Yoongi paused, his face looking suddenly a little more pained. “Problem.” 

Ashamed. Embarrassed. Without these things being said, it was obvious how Yoongi felt. Jin felt a pang of sympathy, wanting to assure him immediately that mental health problems were never anyone’s fault and were nothing at all to be ashamed of. If anything, it was brave, incredibly brave, of Yoongi to bring himself into the office. 

“Didn’t it come up in the screening exam?”

Yoongi smiled. “Ah, I was signed really early, before the label started doing comprehensive medical checks.” 

“Oh.” Jin said, having not known that there had ever been a time that the process hadn’t been in place. “That makes sense, then.” 

“So… it was okay for awhile. And I mean, life had become easier… I sort of thought that I could rely on them less, so I started lowering my dose.”

“Did you consult your doctor about that?”

“No.” Yoongi shook his head. “I also only had so many pills left...so it became out of necessity as much as anything else. My doctor was back in Daegu and I had no opportunity to go home for a visit with my family, let alone an appointment.” 

“And how long ago was this, that you stopped taking the medication?” 

“Well…” Yoongi paused, obviously thinking back to when it had been. “About four years ago now, wow.. A little longer than I realized.”

“Wow.” Jin nodded. “And… that must have been hard, right? To come off of them like that, how have you been doing?” 

“Truthfully. I probably should not have stopped taking them.” Yoongi’s voice was quiet and Jin could tell from the slight tremble in his words that he wasn’t used to talking about this subject. “But I didn’t really feel that I had a choice. I felt scared that if the label found out that I had this… problem, I could be dropped. And I’ve worked so hard to get where I am that-” Yoongi’s voice was growing more thin, his words more rushed.

“It’s okay.” JIn said, reaching out and gently placing a hand on the younger’s arm, feeling him tremble slightly beneath the gentle touch.”Just take a deep breath for me.” Jin moved his hand away and took a step backwards as well, not wanting him to feel crowded.

“You’re not going to get dropped from the label.” Jin said softly. “I just want you to tell me about what sort of things you are feeling so we can find out what will work best. Do you remember the name of the medication that you were using before?”

“I do.” Yoongi replied, and then rattled off a name that Jin recognized to be commonly used. He was far from an expert on mental health, but he could tell before Yoongi even began to explain that the younger boy knew himself well and had had past experience with using the medication. 

“Tell me about how you have been feeling lately.”

“Overwhelmed.” Yoongi admitted. “I recently got into a new relationship, and I should be really excited, but I am finding that I am anxious about the smallest things.” He explained. “I am constantly over analyzing his every reaction and sometimes when I get upset about something he has said, I … I guess I know I am over reacting, but I feel powerless to stop it.”

“It is hard when we don’t feel in control of our emotions or our reactions.” Jin said softly. He felt nothing but empathy for the younger, who was so splendidly brave with his honesty and his candidness. “Are these anxious feelings something you are used to, or is it new for you?”

“I’ve always been a bit of a worrier, but it feels like lately, it is out of control. And maybe it’s that my brain is tired from all of the thinking, or maybe it’s just my crazy schedule catching up with me, but I am more exhausted than ever.”

“It could very well be a mix of both.” Jin offered a sympathetic smile. “You guys have really intense schedules, from what I have learned - which I admit, isn’t much, but it seems pretty crazy.”

“It is.” Yoongi agreed. “But I do love it. I really do. I want to love it the way I did when I first started, when things felt lighter, even though we had the same crazy workload and even less support from fans, it just felt… easier to manage.”

“How do you feel about trying something that would be beneficial for both your anxiety and your depression, as well?” JIn said, knowing that he could recommend a combination of medications that worked well together, in most cases, but of course it was different for everyone and it couldn’t be guaranteed.

“I think that might be a good idea.” Yoongi nodded. “But. I don’t know how I can get the medication, exactly, as typically our assistants pick up things like prescriptions for us.”

“Right.” Jin nodded slowly, turning his mind over for a solution and feeling willing to take a slight risk, for the sake of helping Yoongi, who had been so brave and honest with him. “Well. I could fill and pick up the prescription for you, and schedule you a follow up appointment tomorrow or the day after to check back up on your ear.” He winked. “I know that this isn’t the typical routine… but I want to do whatever I can to help you.”

“I appreciate that.” Yoongi said softly. “Jimin was right. You’re a really nice doctor.”

Jin blushed, feeling not entirely shocked that it had been Jimin indeed who had been behind the guidance. “You were really brave to be so honest with me” Jin said, even though he was feeling a little bit flustered already, he wanted Yoongi to know that he deserved the help just as much as he wanted to give it.

“Thank you for listening. And for picking up the medication for me.”

“We will need to keep in touch, to follow up about how it is going, if there are any side effects and such. Which I should get into.”

Jin pulled out the pamphlets that contained information about the medication that he planned to prescribe Yoongi, going over the various lines of information with him. It was all pretty dry, but it was necessary to provide to the patient and Jin appreciated that Yoongi paid him his full attention and listened with respect and diligence. He had explained that the medication seemed similar to the one he was taking before and JIn knew that this was true, that they were not too different from one another, and he was hopeful that any potential side effects would be minimal because of this.

“So, what should I tell Katy at the desk?” Yoongi asked when the explanation of the medication had concluded and the appointment seemed to be winding down.

“I can come with you, we’ll just say I need you to come in tomorrow, and I’ll have the prescription filled tonight so that it’s ready.”

“Thank you.” Yoongi said softly. “Really, thank you.” 

“I hope it helps.” 

“Me too.” Yoongi agreed, sounding incredibly sincere. “I just want to be happier.”

JIn gave him a soft smile, wishing that he could promise that it was that simple, but knowing that it would be a little unfair to make such a guarantee before he had even begun the medication. Instead, he reached out and gave his arm a gentle squeeze. “It’s going to be okay, we’re going to find something that works. I want to help you feel better.”

“I hope so.” Yoongi replied, his eyes looking dangerously glassy and close to watering over, and Jin felt a lump rising in his throat, wishing that he could do something to set the younger at ease, to stop the tears that looked so inevitably close to falling. “I really hope so.”

“We won’t stop trying until we do.” Jin promised. 

—


End file.
